It seems as i get older i think longingly of the past,how my life and my sexuallity developed to what it is today,I had just turned eighteen, i was a skinny ginger haired boy,always regarded as a bit of a sissy,A nancy boy my stepfather called me,I came from a working class family,with four sisters,That didn't help,I had managed to pass my driving test and had managed to purchase a A35 van,so the world became a much bigger place,I always knew i was gay,At the swimming pool i was always hanging around trying to catch the sight of cock,I had made a few friends and sucked cock a couple of times,This particular day was a turning point, i had driven out to watch a university rugby match,I sat on one of the benches around the green when i was joined my a chap in his forty;s " love to come here,it gets me away from the Mrs for a day" he said,"yes i enjoy watching i repled,"yeah, the game or the men"he said,Is it that obvious i thought,Fancy coming for a drive he said,just for some fun,,We drove to a meadow by the River cam,His experience was obvious,as we went to lay on the grass his cock was allready out,suck it for me he said, i was so excited i was trembling,i was soon bobbing up and down ,Take your trousers off and get on all fours he said, I have never done it i said, Don't worry you will love it he said,I watched,mesmerised as he opened a small round tin of vasa line and covered his cock aand my virgin cunt,When i push, you push back,relax,push like your going to the toilet,He was right,i felt his body pressing against my buttocks, It didn't feel fantastic to me,but as i adjusted to his size it became quite pleasant,I felt the final thrust and the warmth spreading inside me as he climaxed, that was wonderful he kept saying, your my first virgin,I was dissapointed,I tought it was supposed to be an earth shattering experience but at least now i felt a proper gay,I became more confident and gained more experience as time went on,Then came the night when i thought i was in love,No, it wasn't in a nice resturant or a party but in a dark public toilet in the park,I was sitting in a cubicle stroking my small clitty, i had removed my clothes except for a blouse,In the gloom the door slowly opened and a very handsome well dressed man stood in front of me,Hello he said while unzipping his trousers and letting them fall to the floor,I was introduced to most beutiful sweet smelling penis,his hands went to the back of my head and gently eased me forward to take his length deep in my throat,he started gently rocking and i felt him swell to full hardness,he withdrew easing me to my feet and turning me,"lean forward darling" he wispered,I did as he instructed, he enterd me in one stroke, i wanted him so bad i think i must have sucked him in,The cubicle was filled with our soft moaning and the slap of our bodies coming together,All to soon he groaned and i felt the warm fush of his seed,he leaaned forward and kissed my shoulder,"thankyou, that was wonderful" then he was gone,I remained leaning forward in a daze,why hadn't i asked his name,a phone number,i was heart broken,I hardly noticed the door open and a shadow enter, i never even looked round,He has come back,i was exstatic,But it was a beery stale smell followed by a thick irish voice that i was greeted with,I was outside, i heard him fucking you, this time yer going to get a real mans cock in yer,His trousers were wide open,only held up by a pair of braces,No pants just a huge angry looking cock,he shuffled forward,I knew there wasn't going to be any gentleness this time so i spread my legs wide, misinterpritating the action,he laughed,yer can't wait yer dirty cont, i was right,there was no gentleness, to him we were just animals needing to breed,I felt totally disgusted,I told myself it was'nt my fault,I was begging him to cum so it would be over, whether it was the begging or the alcohol he showed no signs of finishing, then to my amazement and disgust i found myself moaning and pushing back to meet his every thrust " i told yer you would love the irish cock,now get yerself ready for some irish cream, then with a push that sent my head against the wall i felt him flooding my insides with his cum,I was in heaven,my leg was wet with my own cum, he pulled out and wiped his softening cock on his shirt.I was speechless,still trying to catch my breath,"thats how real men fuck,so yer better get used to it,I thought of my lover,he had made love to me,but this rough arrogant lout had really fucked me,Disgust and shame flooded me yet again,I am working down here for a few months, i come in here most nights looking, oil have me mate wid me next week if yer about, weel give yer a double load of irish cream. Then he laughed and left,I couldn't wait to get home and showerand wash the filth off me.It was a week before i returned to those toilets ,Cathy