Written by Ant
6 Feb 2013
Should I be ashamed..
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5 minute read
Im 23 yrs old,for one reason or another Ive not had a lot of sexual experience,I had sex a couple of yrs ago with another man,I met him in a public park and we ended up masturbating each other in some bushes,I was a bit disgusted afterwards but also found myself going into places where it could have happened again but didnt.
Ive wondered what its like to have sex with a girl,ive seen it being done on internet sites,but found myself being more turned on by them letting men penetrate their bottom rather than their vagina,for a while now Ive been using sites for masturbating,but more and more its men having sex,penetrative sex,with other men.
Im probably homosexual,I sometimes stand looking at my naked body in my wardrobe mirror and even if Im a small person and fairhaired Ive got all the bits I should have and they all work,I probably sound a bit stupid,im not but Ive always been happy enough with my own company,Im not into football and them kind of things which sometimes it seems to me thats all other lads talk about.
I masturbate 3or 4 times a week and again I might be a bit stupid because Ive no idea how often other boys do it.Im writing this to explain what I have done recently,I need to tell it somewhere.
I got a job with a care group last year,you get a chance to do some training and things on providing suuport to people who need it in their own homes,I love my job though it took a bit of time to get used to helping with some personal needs,I only work with men,I was really nervous at first when Id be helping a man in the shower or the bath,always careful not to touch his bits,early on on one of my first times with a man who was in his 70s he needed me to wash him there and he started to get an erection and though it didnt get fully erect it doubled in size but we both pretended that nothing was happening.
When that happened I started thinking about masturbating with the man in the park and though there was no suggestion of anything like that happening with this man when I was holding his almost erect penis in my hand I realised I had got an erection and that night at home I masturbated still thinking about what happened.
But now Im doing something that Im sure I shouldnt be doing.For the past 3 or 4 months Ive been going to support a man,hes 68 yrs old,hes had his hips done.At first everything was straight forward,I had no problem helping him to wash,he was happy for me to give him a bedbath,and though at first I was doing things with the proper dignity and things not exposing him too much he said dont worry about things like that.
At first when Id get there in the morning hed be in bed and hed have pyjames on but then he started to not be wearing them,hed be in bed naked,I didnt comment on it that was his choice.Like the other man the first time he got an erection when I was washing him nothing was said.
It started then that when Id pull down the bedclothes hed already have an erection,but nothing was said,he would let me to wash it and it would be throbbing in my hand.The first time he did something to me I know I should have stopped him but I didnt,when I was leaning over him he put his hand on my bottom,I was washing his penis and when he touched my bottom he started to push it in and out of my hand,I knew that what he was making me do was like masturbating him,its a bit of a blur now but I know that I felt his hand move to the front of my pants and feel for my penis,perhaps if I hadnt an erection nothing more would have happened,but when I felt the touch I must have stopped thinking straight,I was still holding his erect penis in my hand.
I let him find the zip om my pants and pull it down,it all seems unreal thinking about it but his fingers were inside my pants feeling my penis through my undies.He was moving his penis more and more in and out of my own fingers,his hips seemed to be working very well.
I might have been back in the park,he had found his way into my undies and taken my erect penis out of my clothing.With his free hand he gripped my fingers around his penis and I was masturbating him,he was doing likewise to me,it all happened so much faster than when I masturbate myself,and though I didnt want to ejaculate onto him I couldnt stop myself,he ejaculated at almost the same time even though I was only vaguely aware of it because of my own event.
I cleaned 2 lots of semen off his body,nothing has been talked about but now he seems to expect me to masturbate him at least once a week,I like doing for him but I know that he is soon to come off our books.