October 2017 This meeting had been a real battle with my moral code and worst luck persuasion skills. I like to think I am careful with the guys we have met as I don’t want to undo my good work with Sally so far. So the session with Mark on Saturday evening in October probably occurred 6 months too early for Sally and although I found it amazing (that is my dilemma) it temporarily planted a seed of doubt in Sally’s mind about this way of life and I had to desperately retrace some of my steps from the past 6 months… agghhhh!!!! So we met up with an ex army guy called Mark on 7th October as planned at 6pm at a hotel we have used before near Coventry. I had been chatting with the guy for some weeks and (we even met) and he had was really on my page and was keen to fuck Sally. He did admit to a few women problems, but played it down, but that contributed to him being severely under the influence by the time we met him at 6pm that evening. I later discovered he was also on antidepressants which is not a good cocktail with alcohol. Unfortunately, we did not know that at the time and if we had, in hindsight, we would have cancelled. That did not happen and despite him being quite merry I made a call to invite him back to our hotel room. At the time I thought he had just had a few drinks to settle his nerves which definitely meant that any awkwardness had gone when we met him in the bar. We usually have a few drinks to loosen us up anyway, but he was quite boisterous in the bar and was all over Sally which I know made her uncomfortable so made a call to head upstairs straight away. Even on the journey up in the lift Mark was a man on a mission. Given half the chance he would have had sex with Sally in the lift. He was kissing her and groping he breasts all the way to our room. I have subsequently discovered from Mark that his divorce had come through a few days before we hooked up and he was quite prepared to have angry sex with the next woman he got into bed. Sally was that woman. The first issue is that he barely acknowledged Sally other than to admire and crave her body during his time with us. Sex was definitely a one way street. The second issue is that as he was a big guy and full of drink and drugs. To be honest I effectively lost control of them room the moment we entered. I kept that from Sally, but I doubt I could have stopped him even if I wanted to… and that is my dilemma and my own quilt. At no stage did I want him to stop. Sally told me that she did not say our safe words for fear of upsetting him and instead just went with it helped with my enthusiasm and obvious enjoyment watching, which was true. I was so enthralled by the next couple of hours as Mark used and abused my wife. My heart pounded out of its chest I was so turned on. Even now it makes me horny and guilty at the same time and I am struggling to come to terms with that feeling. I have discussed this with Sally (and to be fair at the time also) just how much I enjoyed the watching Mark with her. Sally remained compliant and submissive throughout and Mark was dominating and demanding in the extreme. Fortunately, Mark passed out after a few hours and we left him in the hotel room and were on the road home by 10pm. I have spoken to him since and he has been apologetic to me and Sally. I have been open with Sally about the evening and reassured her that everything was under control (ish) and how much I had enjoyed the experience. Fortunately, she was more worried that she had let me down somehow and was relieved that I had enjoyed myself. An odd reaction, but I will take it.