Most of us who read these submissions have signed up to this site (and no doubt others) with the expectation - or at least the hope - of some form of extra-marital sex. Certainly I (Paul) did - and though I joined this particular one with a lady-friend of some many years standing (or laying),the whole background to meeting her was in the hope of my wife participating. I first looked at wife-swapping (as it was then called) a couple of years or so after we were married. My wife was an unenthusiastic bedroom participant and I hoped that she might become more enthusiastic with someone else's husband while I enjoyed the pleasures of his enthusiastic wife. Suffice to say that my wife was unconvinced but it has not entirely restricted my own extra-mural activities which are probably best described as a few long term poly-amorous arrangements. The reason I bore you all is that many of the husbands reading this will have found themselves in the same situation - and it is only very recently that I have discovered both 'why' and 'what can be done'. Having discovered that, both my wife and I are now enjoying 'the doing' with more pleasure and much less marital disharmony than we have for over 40 years. Quite by accident I discovered a female condition called 'vaginismus' - and I now realise that my wife has endured this throughout our marriage. Vaginismus is a mental condition which causes an involuntary reflex that closes the pussy tight, preventing any entry. There is apparently a 'primary' type which happens in any situation - which prevents any entry at all - and a secondary type which is a more 'selective' response to particular circumstances. My beloved had the second - she could 'have sex', open for gynaecological examinations and things, have children, have orgasms - but she flinches from a lot of other things which other women enjoy. The cause is psychological - you can speculate on the influence of her 'respectable' upbringing, her Convent Education, our mutual 'relative innocence' when we were first married - but knowing the cause doesn't change the present condition. The 'cure' is to go right back to the very early days of courtship - indeed right back to taking your first girlfriend out on your fists date - which is proving very enjoyable It means treating her as a shy and demure young lady, someone who'd be shocked if you made a grab for her breasts, far less put your hand up her skirt; it means taking a lot of effort to seduce her very slowly and carefully - and not expecting to get into her pants, something of a change from presuming that she'll play ball if she's in the mood. As the treatment has to be taken slowly but frequently and takes many applications, life has improved considerably all round - and so far, apart from giving her the orgasms she deserves by playing with her clit, we're still at the stage of not yet getting a finger inside her pussy. Remember those days? - The hope that she might, the expectation that she probably wouldn't? All in all it's quite fun - and when she does relax and go the distance like all the other girls who have no hang-ups, hopefully we'll enjoy a long time together having a continuous honeymoon. Who knows, she might discover that she likes sex so much that she'll want to try another cock or two, too ?