P P P MSL at surreycouple - I so love it when other folk get the wrong end of the stick instead of me L L L LOL
Also I am on level 28
Im ok now I had a snickers!! (ate in the conventional way!) :P
From the aren't kids lovely book of humour ...
There are some very intelligent children here!
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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if
you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she
should keep the chips and dip coming.
Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're
going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to
find out later who you're stuck with.
Kirsten, age 10
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WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person
FOREVER by then.
Camille, age 10
No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get
married.
Freddie, age 6 (Very wise for his age)
****************************************************
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be
yelling at the same kids.
Derrick, age 8
****************************************************
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN
COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
Lori, age 8
****************************************************
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to
know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen
long enough.
Lynnette, age 8 (Isn't she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually
gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
Martin, age 10
****************************************************
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING
SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers
and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
Craig, age 9
****************************************************
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them
and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
Howard, age 8
****************************************************
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to
clean up after them.
Anita, age 9 (Bless you child)
****************************************************
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
Kelvin, age 8
****************************************************
..the grand finale...
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.
Ricky, age 10 (the Lord hath spoke).
Actually ... a friends little 7 year old boy , lovely
child, very intelligent but one day after his mum had told him off and
banned him from the PS2 for being naughty ... goes into his room and
a few minutes later comes back and saying nothing, hands her a note
he's just written which said ...
Dear mummy,
I hate you.
Love from Bob xxx
And now for some adults who werent so intelligent....................
(3 March 2002, Sheffield, England) As Kim Fontana, 32, and Paul Cowley, 40, left the pub, they noticed that a streetlight was burned out, creating an attractive pool of darkness on the road. Unable to rein in their passion, they began to canoodle on the asphalt outside the pub.
Witnesses said the couple was lying right on the white line, kissing and cuddling. The passionate pair were warned of the danger of their chosen position not once, not twice, but three times -- by a car driver, a bus driver, and a pedestrian.
An off-duty paramedic honked three times and shouted, "You want to get up, or otherwise you’ll be run over." The man simply said "Cheers, mate," and the paramedic heard a female voice laughing. A bus driver swerved to avoid them, and drove past with wheels on the curb. A concerned pedestrian shouted to warn them that another bus was headed their way.
Despite these disruptions, Kim and Paul continued, oblivious to the approach of a small, single-decker Nipper bus. The bus driver mistook the undulating shape for a bag of rubbish in the poorly lit street, and was unable to stop in time. There was a dull thud...
Kim and Paul were struck and killed at midnight. Paramedics found Kim lying on her back with her jumper pulled up, and Paul between her legs with his trousers pulled down.
The only downside to this timely removal of lunacy from the gene pool is the fate of the bus driver. Despite the couple's own actions, and a police investigator's statement that "one can expect a pedestrian walking or running in the road, but to expect a driver to anticipate a pedestrian lying in the road is out of the ordinary" -- a judge felt that "his driving fell below the standard one would reasonably expect of a prudent, competent driver."
The bus driver was fined for careless driving and his license was revoked for six months. Fortunately, his employers consider him an excellent employee, and plan to give him other duties for six months. Relatives of the victims said they were glad the driver had kept his job.
Good lick with the job hunting tomorrow clare xxx
Level 50 is really the hard one... and also the last...
Yee ha!
PS, hope your days better today Clare.
Well ive been offered an interviewon Friday already,so im in a fantastic mood!!! :bounce:
Well done Clare, go for it girl!
testing my new avatar..................hope it works :cry:
that will do for now..................would not want to cause offence now would i????
No, you wouldn't - so don't!
Hope this cheers you up
A traveling salesman visits a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading, "Don't Miss the Amazing Goldstein!"
Curious, he buys a ticket.
The tent goes dark.
Suddenly, trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring.
There, spot lit in the center ring is a table with three walnuts on it.
Standing next to it is an old Jewish man.
Suddenly the old man unzips his pants, whips out a huge shlong, and smashes all three walnuts with three mighty swings!
The crowd erupts in applause as the elderly Goldstein is carried off on the shoulders of the clowns.
Ten years later the salesman visits the same little town and he sees a faded sign for the same circus and the same "Don't Miss the Amazing Goldstein."
He can't believe the old guy is still alive much less still doing his act!
So he buys a ticket.
Again, the center ring is illuminated.
This time, instead of walnuts, Three coconuts are on the table.
Goldstein stands before them, then suddenly unzips his fly and smashes the coconuts with three swings of his amazing shlong.
The crowd goes wild!
Flabbergasted, the salesman requests a meeting with him after the show.
"You're incredible," he tells Goldstein. "But I have to know something.
You're older now. Why switch from walnuts to coconuts?"
"Vell," says Goldstein, "My eyes aren't what they used to be!"