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A question about the site........
I'm not really going to get into the debate about this too deeply as as been quite rightly said, it has already been covered.
Some of the regs are staying away - we will never know the full reasons. I suspect it is not totally down to the forum.
Over the past few months I do have to agree with Ian to an extent that there has been a regular 'flooding' of the forum with dozens and dozens of threads by a relatively small number of people. Now before anyone jumps I'm not saying this is right or wrong, but I do know that it makes it quite off putting to those who can't spend hours on here and like to pop in and see what's happening. Often now I just 'mark all forums read' and give up on trying to read the posts - which is such a shame because I know I will miss some great ones in amongst the dross by doing this.
I would say to Easy that he is one of the people who is an asset to the forum - his postings are funny, intelligent and thoughtful. Hugs to you and Countess.
I miss WBBs posts - she always put a smile on my face!
I have abone to pick with Neil though! He says all the regs he loves don't post any more!!!! I feel most unloved now. :cry:
Aswith Easy I very nearly left as I found it was getting tedious on here, but I decided to stay around and just be very selective about the threads I post in. I would ask all people who feel as I do - to not leave but just ride it out - fora are cyclic - it was all come round again.
Big Hugs
Alex x x
All the above are my opinions only - and nothing is intended to be personal.
Cept the hugs to easy & countess!
Some of the regs are staying away - we will never know the full reasons. I suspect it is not totally down to the forum.
Over the past few months I do have to agree with Ian to an extent that there has been a regular 'flooding' of the forum with dozens and dozens of threads by a relatively small number of people. Now before anyone jumps I'm not saying this is right or wrong, but I do know that it makes it quite off putting to those who can't spend hours on here and like to pop in and see what's happening. Often now I just 'mark all forums read' and give up on trying to read the posts - which is such a shame because I know I will miss some great ones in amongst the dross by doing this.
I would say to Easy that he is one of the people who is an asset to the forum - his postings are funny, intelligent and thoughtful. Hugs to you and Countess.
I miss WBBs posts - she always put a smile on my face!
I have abone to pick with Neil though! He says all the regs he loves don't post any more!!!! I feel most unloved now. :cry:
Aswith Easy I very nearly left as I found it was getting tedious on here, but I decided to stay around and just be very selective about the threads I post in. I would ask all people who feel as I do - to not leave but just ride it out - fora are cyclic - it was all come round again.
Big Hugs
Alex x x
All the above are my opinions only - and nothing is intended to be personal.
Cept the hugs to easy & countess!
Quote by yin yang
As Forrest Gumps mum said...' life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get'. I think that is so like logging on... you open the box, and see what is waiting inside, if it is all the ones you dont want, log off and come back another day...that right claire?
Yep!!Or just ignore the ones that you dont like!!
Orgasminator
I'd like to add some of my views if I may.
I know I'm not one of the "older" regular's on here and that I'm not as well respected, liked or well known etc BUT I am my own person and that's what I want to be shown on here. I'm not bothered that I'm not a member of the so called clique that's going on. Personally I don't think there is much of one although, I must admit it was very daunting at first with all the people who knew each other well. That is just life though - you meet new people and you interact with them - others join in and so the circle goes on.
I was thinking of leaving, partly because of the arguments and bitchiness and also for personal reasons but I couldn't do it. I find I'm more selective of the threads I now read and post but other than that things are as normal for me.
It seems since the Munch (I didn't go to it) things have got a little better on here. There have been a few threads where arguments have occurred but everyone has disagreements now and then and we can't all play nicely with each other all of the time!
There are a lot of different personalities on here and to think that we could all agree on every subject is just silly. Debate is fine, it's just when things get personal or when things go too far, people go away feeling bruised and attacked (so to speak). Obviously everyone has bad days now and then but just remember that although this is the internet and it's not a real place, the people on here are real. Something that you say may not affect you, but it might just affect that other person.
I personally think very hard before starting a thread as you never know where it might lead! I think a lot of people do actually think about what they write and how to phrase things and the qaulity of threads has gone up considerably.
Anyway, I'll stop rambling now!
I know I'm not one of the "older" regular's on here and that I'm not as well respected, liked or well known etc BUT I am my own person and that's what I want to be shown on here. I'm not bothered that I'm not a member of the so called clique that's going on. Personally I don't think there is much of one although, I must admit it was very daunting at first with all the people who knew each other well. That is just life though - you meet new people and you interact with them - others join in and so the circle goes on.
I was thinking of leaving, partly because of the arguments and bitchiness and also for personal reasons but I couldn't do it. I find I'm more selective of the threads I now read and post but other than that things are as normal for me.
It seems since the Munch (I didn't go to it) things have got a little better on here. There have been a few threads where arguments have occurred but everyone has disagreements now and then and we can't all play nicely with each other all of the time!
There are a lot of different personalities on here and to think that we could all agree on every subject is just silly. Debate is fine, it's just when things get personal or when things go too far, people go away feeling bruised and attacked (so to speak). Obviously everyone has bad days now and then but just remember that although this is the internet and it's not a real place, the people on here are real. Something that you say may not affect you, but it might just affect that other person.
I personally think very hard before starting a thread as you never know where it might lead! I think a lot of people do actually think about what they write and how to phrase things and the qaulity of threads has gone up considerably.
Anyway, I'll stop rambling now!
Sex God
Well thought i would add my 2 pennyworth
I come and look at the Forum to chill out, have a good read and if I feel like it post a reply,
I enjoy a good laugh as well as reading the serious postings . If I dont like a thread I leave it alone simple as that,
Its a free world and we all have the freedom of the magic X on the top right of the web page as well as the back arrow.
The Forums here for all to enjoy and I sure enjoy it, I dont post very much but that dosent mean i dont enjoy reading the banter, I do and often leave the forum with a sore stomach from laughing.
Could it be people just want a break, like everything else in life if your doing it everyday it can become a chore not a pleasure, and by having a break they will want to come back refreshed and ready to make us laugh, cry, or make us think a little harder, or pass on words of wisdom. Maybe thats one answer,
I come and look at the Forum to chill out, have a good read and if I feel like it post a reply,
I enjoy a good laugh as well as reading the serious postings . If I dont like a thread I leave it alone simple as that,
Its a free world and we all have the freedom of the magic X on the top right of the web page as well as the back arrow.
The Forums here for all to enjoy and I sure enjoy it, I dont post very much but that dosent mean i dont enjoy reading the banter, I do and often leave the forum with a sore stomach from laughing.
Could it be people just want a break, like everything else in life if your doing it everyday it can become a chore not a pleasure, and by having a break they will want to come back refreshed and ready to make us laugh, cry, or make us think a little harder, or pass on words of wisdom. Maybe thats one answer,
My two bits worth...
The site has its ups and downs, I have already left once and came back, things were a lot clearer after a break and seemed a loss less intense than when I went. I think right now there is a lot of boundary pushing going on, as people have debated what is free speech. There were also a lot of personal remarks flying around, and subsequent locking of threads. Overall I think people are looking far too seriously at a forum designed to let people get to know each other, and let off a little steam / have fun...
Now I am not going to post on those topics that caused the controversy, or my feelings on how to handle them (as I am sure it would cause more hurt and possibly personal attacks on me which ever way I posted, leading to this thread being locked). However I think this forum will bounce back, I am sure every couple of months people start to worry that it is all coming to an end, and so far it is still here.
So unless Mark is planning on converting the site into an on line Ice Cream sales franchise we should be OK. Lets all just take the rough with the smooth and see where we are in a couple of weeks time. Chill out people, and after a breath back pause maybe we can debate about where we want the cafe threads to head a bit further down the line.
The site has its ups and downs, I have already left once and came back, things were a lot clearer after a break and seemed a loss less intense than when I went. I think right now there is a lot of boundary pushing going on, as people have debated what is free speech. There were also a lot of personal remarks flying around, and subsequent locking of threads. Overall I think people are looking far too seriously at a forum designed to let people get to know each other, and let off a little steam / have fun...
Now I am not going to post on those topics that caused the controversy, or my feelings on how to handle them (as I am sure it would cause more hurt and possibly personal attacks on me which ever way I posted, leading to this thread being locked). However I think this forum will bounce back, I am sure every couple of months people start to worry that it is all coming to an end, and so far it is still here.
So unless Mark is planning on converting the site into an on line Ice Cream sales franchise we should be OK. Lets all just take the rough with the smooth and see where we are in a couple of weeks time. Chill out people, and after a breath back pause maybe we can debate about where we want the cafe threads to head a bit further down the line.
Quote by Mark
Until next month's navel gazing and introspection :cheers: (JOKE!!!)
I like my navel! You know it`s comments like that which make it very difficult for people like me to get intimate with thier navel............
This place is going to the dogs!
(joke!!!)
However, since my daugher just came downstairs and I`ve just seen what she looks like now she`s washed off her `new` eyebrows. I think I`ll take to my bed and turn the PC over to Mars........ :giveup:
Venusxxx
As someone whos been here almost since the site started i must say i know what easy means. I also gree 100% with ians comment about inhane drible.
It seems that recently quantity has become more respected than quality Like easy i too have had email from people who have left the site and are thinking of doing so because they find the cafe borring and repetative.
I have recently been on the receiving end of a lot of criticism about some of my postings. It seems that there are people on here who cant just accept that people are entitled to their own opiniions.
I m sorry to say that this minority appears to be compeltely female. The men on here seem a lot more tolerant and less bitchy.
I dont know what the answer is, I know how the cafe should be, open to everyone and non condemnational, but it would appear that it isnt .
One thing i do no , easy your one of the good guys on here , capable of beeing both funny and intelligent, without you the cafe will be a far sadder place
It seems that recently quantity has become more respected than quality Like easy i too have had email from people who have left the site and are thinking of doing so because they find the cafe borring and repetative.
I have recently been on the receiving end of a lot of criticism about some of my postings. It seems that there are people on here who cant just accept that people are entitled to their own opiniions.
I m sorry to say that this minority appears to be compeltely female. The men on here seem a lot more tolerant and less bitchy.
I dont know what the answer is, I know how the cafe should be, open to everyone and non condemnational, but it would appear that it isnt .
One thing i do no , easy your one of the good guys on here , capable of beeing both funny and intelligent, without you the cafe will be a far sadder place
Sex God
I'm just a Frog......... so what the fuck do I know........... but for what it's worth the way I look at it is............I'm here to enjoy, chill, have fun, I can get shit at work!!!
Foxy
We may not agree on everything (it would be a boring existence if everybody agreed with each other), but I try never to be bitchy.
Regards to the females being more bitchy - that isn't always the case - some of the blokes can do their fair share. But they just tend to be a bit more chivalrous to us females.
What I'm trying to say is you can't alway pidgeonhole behaviour with gender.
Hugs, Alex x
We may not agree on everything (it would be a boring existence if everybody agreed with each other), but I try never to be bitchy.
Regards to the females being more bitchy - that isn't always the case - some of the blokes can do their fair share. But they just tend to be a bit more chivalrous to us females.
What I'm trying to say is you can't alway pidgeonhole behaviour with gender.
Hugs, Alex x
Sex God
an absolute drunken rant . . . . WTF am i doing? do i take it all far too seriously? seems so . . . . . i can't begin to apologise enough . . . . . . . .
neil
I'll admit to staying away at the moment - I'm only here to check my pm's as I would hate to have sent a load out, people respond and never get a reply from me LOL and this thread was pointed out to me.
I come here for friendship and fun, yes I'm here to swing but the cafe offers me a lot more, I'm usually here alone whilst Morbius is driving and it's been great source of companionship.
The last week though I've questioned more and more why I come here ...... the jolliness is soon overshadowed by nastiness and at the end of a long day when I'm feeling lonely I just don't want that.
It's very well saying ignore the posts ..... but it's not always that easy when the next few posts are affected ~ and they are because one dumb post gets people wound up and then others are trying to lift the atmosphere - it does carry into other posts .. it carries into conversations on pm.
At the moment i have a range of emotions ..... from downright angry with individuals, complete distress at others, to not coping with issues put in front of me. Whilst none of these issues are particularly important to others, they are too me. I don't feel particularly supported .... not that I am expecting anyone to support me as such, but for me, as an individual The Cafe isn't a place I want to be any longer.
I love my friends here , miss you all like crazy from not reading the posts, and I will be at the munches, I'm not going to say I'm leaving because deep down I don't want to, but I don't want to be here with the undertone that I feel there is.
As for not taking the place or people seriously ..................... I'm stuck at home a massive amount of the time, my friends and I no longer see a lot of one another as I'm the only one with kids and most of them wouldn't understand all this anyway. I originally found the place refreshing, warm and inviting ... Ive made some great friends here, set up some swinging occasions and so why shouldn't I take things seriously?
Calista
I come here for friendship and fun, yes I'm here to swing but the cafe offers me a lot more, I'm usually here alone whilst Morbius is driving and it's been great source of companionship.
The last week though I've questioned more and more why I come here ...... the jolliness is soon overshadowed by nastiness and at the end of a long day when I'm feeling lonely I just don't want that.
It's very well saying ignore the posts ..... but it's not always that easy when the next few posts are affected ~ and they are because one dumb post gets people wound up and then others are trying to lift the atmosphere - it does carry into other posts .. it carries into conversations on pm.
At the moment i have a range of emotions ..... from downright angry with individuals, complete distress at others, to not coping with issues put in front of me. Whilst none of these issues are particularly important to others, they are too me. I don't feel particularly supported .... not that I am expecting anyone to support me as such, but for me, as an individual The Cafe isn't a place I want to be any longer.
I love my friends here , miss you all like crazy from not reading the posts, and I will be at the munches, I'm not going to say I'm leaving because deep down I don't want to, but I don't want to be here with the undertone that I feel there is.
As for not taking the place or people seriously ..................... I'm stuck at home a massive amount of the time, my friends and I no longer see a lot of one another as I'm the only one with kids and most of them wouldn't understand all this anyway. I originally found the place refreshing, warm and inviting ... Ive made some great friends here, set up some swinging occasions and so why shouldn't I take things seriously?
Calista
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm .................................not sure I can add much here other than to say
I am staying! I enjoy this bloody place so I had better make it work for me :shock: :shock:
I am sure even back in Feb people were saying similiar things you know.....................as any site grows isnt it the same as a workplace or any community? Feelings of loss evolve and we grieve for the loss. I have come to the decision that we all make this place good or bad...................I like the serious posts as I am a serious person....................but what I really love is when I feel low I can come in here and laugh real belly laughs as well and at a wide range of people I have made some good friends BUT I am NOT in the clique there really isnt one you know. I get to know new people all the time. Cliques - tell me who you think are in the clique and every person would give a different answer trust me on that one. Yes when people meet at parties and munches then sometimes it must feel a little tedious to people who were not there when all the talk is about that but isnt that the same if you went down the pub and a group had gone on a night out together????????? YES some of the threads are bloody crap including my own..............no problem with that as long as I said before the general NETIQUETTE of life is followed and we dont all become judge and jury on individuals in here unless it is deserved due to the rules that Mark and the mods and ops have set up. I for one respect the rules of this site and the mods and ops even when I think they are wrong they are right because this is NOT the real world at the end of the day - it is a web site!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope that Mark never gets so pissed of with all of us that he pulls the plug on the site - the site is free - we are allowed opinions and we can have fun and meet people so bloody hell what more ffs do we want ( well I need ...........................thats another story 
)
Love Corriexxxxxxx
I am staying! I enjoy this bloody place so I had better make it work for me :shock: :shock:
I am sure even back in Feb people were saying similiar things you know.....................as any site grows isnt it the same as a workplace or any community? Feelings of loss evolve and we grieve for the loss. I have come to the decision that we all make this place good or bad...................I like the serious posts as I am a serious person....................but what I really love is when I feel low I can come in here and laugh real belly laughs as well and at a wide range of people I have made some good friends BUT I am NOT in the clique there really isnt one you know. I get to know new people all the time. Cliques - tell me who you think are in the clique and every person would give a different answer trust me on that one. Yes when people meet at parties and munches then sometimes it must feel a little tedious to people who were not there when all the talk is about that but isnt that the same if you went down the pub and a group had gone on a night out together????????? YES some of the threads are bloody crap including my own..............no problem with that as long as I said before the general NETIQUETTE of life is followed and we dont all become judge and jury on individuals in here unless it is deserved due to the rules that Mark and the mods and ops have set up. I for one respect the rules of this site and the mods and ops even when I think they are wrong they are right because this is NOT the real world at the end of the day - it is a web site!!!!!!!!!!!!!I hope that Mark never gets so pissed of with all of us that he pulls the plug on the site - the site is free - we are allowed opinions and we can have fun and meet people so bloody hell what more ffs do we want
( well I need ...........................thats another story )Love Corriexxxxxxx
Orgasminator
It does seem as though a lot of people are down about the general content on the Forum/Cafe.
I'm afraid the only solution is to get posting!
I personally find it hard to find subjects to write about which are interesting, funny, thought provoking etc which is why I don't do it much as I don't like to stretch my brain too far! But, I do try and that's what matters.
If we all say the Cafe is going downhill but do nothing about it then surely we are partly/wholly to blame?
This isn't supposed to be a dig at anyone - I'm just trying to steer things into a positive kind of thing.......like.
(I still stick by my previous comments on this thread too!)
I'm afraid the only solution is to get posting!
I personally find it hard to find subjects to write about which are interesting, funny, thought provoking etc which is why I don't do it much as I don't like to stretch my brain too far! But, I do try and that's what matters.
If we all say the Cafe is going downhill but do nothing about it then surely we are partly/wholly to blame?
This isn't supposed to be a dig at anyone - I'm just trying to steer things into a positive kind of thing.......like.
(I still stick by my previous comments on this thread too!)
The main thing that I'm unhappy about is still the amount of posting here that seems to be purely for the purpose of people boosting their post-totals. I just noticed a brilliantly witty post from two days ago (thanks, Venus) which I had failed to notice amongst all the ...well... drivel.
And I have noticed that Mister "50 pissy posts a day" has just returned! Ah well, at least he's got Mister "20 pissy posts before breakfast" to keep him company.
It's not anger, it's despair.
Mike.
And I have noticed that Mister "50 pissy posts a day" has just returned! Ah well, at least he's got Mister "20 pissy posts before breakfast" to keep him company.
It's not anger, it's despair.
Mike.
Quote by Clare_Lincs
Can i just point out,that at the end of the day this is just a forum on the internet,yes the peeps on here are real,but it aint worth overly worrying about if it doesnt go perfectly!!
Hooray!!!
Many thanks Clare.
I think you may have managed to sum up what I have been trying to say!!
Dx
Quote by surreycouple2003
Can i just point out,that at the end of the day this is just a forum on the internet,yes the peeps on here are real,but it aint worth overly worrying about if it doesnt go perfectly!!
Hooray!!!
Many thanks Clare.
I think you may have managed to sum up what I have been trying to say!!
Dx
Crikey weve finally manged to agree on something,maybe debate brings peeps together after all!!
I've participated in a few other forums (fora ??) for longer than I've been on here... Indeed I found Swinging Heaven when it was mentioned on a motorbike forum
The issues of post quality, cliques, people leaving, drivel and everything else that's been mentioned here is discussed on a regular basis on every other forum I use.
It's a fact of forum life, it's the way life is, and I for one wouldn't want it to change.....
The issues of post quality, cliques, people leaving, drivel and everything else that's been mentioned here is discussed on a regular basis on every other forum I use.
It's a fact of forum life, it's the way life is, and I for one wouldn't want it to change.....
Quote by MikeNorth
The main thing that I'm unhappy about is still the amount of posting here that seems to be purely for the purpose of people boosting their post-totals. I just noticed a brilliantly witty post from two days ago (thanks, Venus) which I had failed to notice amongst all the ...well... drivel.
And I have noticed that Mister "50 pissy posts a day" has just returned! Ah well, at least he's got Mister "20 pissy posts before breakfast" to keep him company.
It's not anger, it's despair.
Mike.
Ive spent all day trying not to reply to that and not bring it back up to the top,but i just had to.
Im sorry but it's attitudes like that,that are keeping people away,As i said to someone via pm,if youve got a problem with someone,why not tell them how you feel via pm or just ignore their posts!
This sort of attitude is whats making so many people on here so bloody paranoid.
Quote by Jags
Can we please stop this kind of thread????? My finger is hovering over the 'lock' button and I am hoping that we have all said what we wanted to by now!!
Too many threads saying the same thing.
Not until someone tells me what my wonderful post was.....
so I can repeat it daily, maybe even twice a day! :bounce: :twisted:
Venusxxx
Quote by Jags
Can we please stop this kind of thread????? My finger is hovering over the 'lock' button and I am hoping that we have all said what we wanted to by now!!
Too many threads saying the same thing.
Go for it, pet. I've been biting my tongue for ages. I know that regardless what I say, it would only add fuel to the fire. As if it needs it.
Quote by Marya
Can we please stop this kind of thread????? My finger is hovering over the 'lock' button and I am hoping that we have all said what we wanted to by now!!
Too many threads saying the same thing.
Go for it, pet. I've been biting my tongue for ages. I know that regardless what I say, it would only add fuel to the fire. As if it needs it.
OK - done it. If anyone wants to dicuss this locking then feel free to send me a PM and I'll happily reply that way too.
