Generally, I try not to bother with the opinions of random strangers, easier said than done but it's the people who really know you, your friends that count.
That said, we all try to avoid looking like a prize turkey when we meet new people or when we talk to people we don't know well.
I know how to pull nice looking people in bars and clubs, that's easy, but it's just fun and rarely creates lasting partnerships or friendships, though this does happen.
What suggestions do people have for getting to meet people again after a random but great conversation in a book shop, or even just for making a great working relationship into friendship outside work.
It's too easy to look awkward, shy and like a lemon!
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Firstly embrace looking like an awkward shy lemon! :lol2: The more awkward and embarrassed you become, the more people will remember you :thumbup:
Can't say they'll remember you for the right reasons :lol2: but you'll stick in their minds!!
Seriously tho, shyness can be very endearing - obviously not shyness where you leg it and just leave a puff of smoke in your wake :shock: but shyness with conversation I mean.
Awkwardness eventually disappears...... or in my case, reaches such ridiculous proportions that once I've calmed a bit, I look positively normal. I'm like the proverbial chinashop bull when I get into awkward can't calm down phase
The only advice I can give, is that whoever you meet that you like, tell them, whether it be the gorgeous person you fancy in the street, the chatty person on the till in Sainsways or the bluddy nice person who walks their dog past you every day and chats - whoever
Tell them they're nice and why, it breaks the ice, especially if it's someone you see regularly and friendships can be built etc.
I reckon :?
Missy - verified by her daughters as "weird and v. embarrassing" :undecided:
Can't say they'll remember you for the right reasons :lol2: but you'll stick in their minds!!
Seriously tho, shyness can be very endearing - obviously not shyness where you leg it and just leave a puff of smoke in your wake :shock: but shyness with conversation I mean.
Awkwardness eventually disappears...... or in my case, reaches such ridiculous proportions that once I've calmed a bit, I look positively normal. I'm like the proverbial chinashop bull when I get into awkward can't calm down phase
The only advice I can give, is that whoever you meet that you like, tell them, whether it be the gorgeous person you fancy in the street, the chatty person on the till in Sainsways or the bluddy nice person who walks their dog past you every day and chats - whoever
Tell them they're nice and why, it breaks the ice, especially if it's someone you see regularly and friendships can be built etc.I reckon :?
Missy - verified by her daughters as "weird and v. embarrassing" :undecided:
Heck, wish you the best of luck.. Im totally hopeless!! Im quite shy on my own, although many people think Im confident.. though saying that I chat to anyone in the street etc. Im a great believer in community so say hello to people walking the dog, waiting for the bus etc etc Yet, people say that Im quite difficuilt to make friends with
Only suggestion I have is be yourself but walk, talk with confidence best you can and Smile (except that woman who who looks and talks weird Oh, sorry thats Missy 
)
Only suggestion I have is be yourself but walk, talk with confidence best you can and Smile (except that woman who who looks and talks weird
Oh, sorry thats Missy ) My advice would be to smile alot and look like a happy, fun person.
We have made some great friends just by striking up conversation whilst having a coffee for instance. Some have become very good vanilla friends and some have become more.............
A positive attitude, looking friendly and direct eye contact are all good pointers-even if the butterflies in your tummy are battering to escape!
Mind over matter.
Good luck
We have made some great friends just by striking up conversation whilst having a coffee for instance. Some have become very good vanilla friends and some have become more.............
A positive attitude, looking friendly and direct eye contact are all good pointers-even if the butterflies in your tummy are battering to escape!
Mind over matter.
Good luck
Thanks so much for your comments. This really helps.
The problem I've had with work is that I move around and I never know where I'll be located from one day to the next, so you can feel as though you've missed the friendship window when you see someone after a few months gap, but then asking someone for an after work drink immediately can seem forward to someone you've just met.
I guess to sum up it's a case of return to places where you see people you like, don't be afraid to show or say you're a little shy, but be bold and let people know why you think they are nice, whilst smiling and looking confident and happy.
The advice is also making me see why the bookshop encounter didn't go further that day. I'm like Missy, a bull in a china shop. In my efforts to cope with feeling shy, I often push clumsily and inexpertly forward, rather than showing my shyness. At the same time, I sure I forget to keep smiling, which I must do initially, as I start off quite chatty and relaxed.
H-x,
my pointers on pubs and clubs:
I once made a very handsome man walk across a crowded club and take me off to talk and to kiss. My friends were shocked, we were still checking coats. According to the guy, and to other people I've met in clubs, I give 'the look'. As far a I can tell, this is a lingering look at a particular person, which clearly expresses that you find them hot and you have what it takes to demonstrate this.
At other times, in pubs, it's been a case of a friendly smile at the bar while buying a drink and smiling again when you glance back and find that the other person is still smiling at you.
A short skirt, especially with boots, always generates some interest and people who you didn't even notice will often come up and chat to you first.
Hope this helps
The problem I've had with work is that I move around and I never know where I'll be located from one day to the next, so you can feel as though you've missed the friendship window when you see someone after a few months gap, but then asking someone for an after work drink immediately can seem forward to someone you've just met.
I guess to sum up it's a case of return to places where you see people you like, don't be afraid to show or say you're a little shy, but be bold and let people know why you think they are nice, whilst smiling and looking confident and happy.
The advice is also making me see why the bookshop encounter didn't go further that day. I'm like Missy, a bull in a china shop. In my efforts to cope with feeling shy, I often push clumsily and inexpertly forward, rather than showing my shyness. At the same time, I sure I forget to keep smiling, which I must do initially, as I start off quite chatty and relaxed.
H-x,
my pointers on pubs and clubs:
I once made a very handsome man walk across a crowded club and take me off to talk and to kiss. My friends were shocked, we were still checking coats. According to the guy, and to other people I've met in clubs, I give 'the look'. As far a I can tell, this is a lingering look at a particular person, which clearly expresses that you find them hot and you have what it takes to demonstrate this.
At other times, in pubs, it's been a case of a friendly smile at the bar while buying a drink and smiling again when you glance back and find that the other person is still smiling at you.
A short skirt, especially with boots, always generates some interest and people who you didn't even notice will often come up and chat to you first.
Hope this helps
Quote by Plimboy
I know how to pull nice looking people in bars and clubs, that's easy,
Then you're ten steps ahead of me, some pointers on that bit would be good.
H.x
I do so agree with H-x. I've been trying to pull like that for a lifetime :!:
Plim
Awww
As I implied earlier, there's a vast difference between the drinking environments I learned to pull in and the everyday environments I sometimes stick up a conversation in, where I'd like to develop friendships or perhaps even a potentially meaningful relationship.
For all my success in the one environment, I've frequently been embarrassed and hopelessly awkward in the other.
Sex God
Quote by Missy
Firstly embrace looking like an awkward shy lemon! :lol2: The more awkward and embarrassed you become, the more people will remember you :thumbup:
Can't say they'll remember you for the right reasons :lol2: but you'll stick in their minds!!
Seriously tho, shyness can be very endearing - obviously not shyness where you leg it and just leave a puff of smoke in your wake :shock: but shyness with conversation I mean.
Awkwardness eventually disappears...... or in my case, reaches such ridiculous proportions that once I've calmed a bit, I look positively normal. I'm like the proverbial chinashop bull when I get into awkward can't calm down phase
The only advice I can give, is that whoever you meet that you like, tell them, whether it be the gorgeous person you fancy in the street, the chatty person on the till in Sainsways or the bluddy nice person who walks their dog past you every day and chats - whoever
I reckon :?
Missy - verified by her daughters as "weird and v. embarrassing" :undecided:
and on that note! I think you're nice Missy
Quote by anais
Only suggestion I have is be yourself but walk, talk with confidence best you can and Smile (except that woman who who looks and talks weird
Anais!!
Hark who's talking!!!! You ya dotty mare, will talk to anyone at anytime you will! :lol:It's a bluddy good job you're a warm person that naturally draws people to them, or you'd be in trub!! :jagsatwork:
Quote by firelizard
and on that note! I think you're nice Missy
Cue a 'putty' moment :inlove: You're bluddy nice too sweetheart
Quote by Missy
Only suggestion I have is be yourself but walk, talk with confidence best you can and Smile (except that woman who who looks and talks weird
Anais!!
Hark who's talking!!!! You ya dotty mare, will talk to anyone at anytime you will! :lol:It's a bluddy good job you're a warm person that naturally draws people to them, or you'd be in trub!! :jagsatwork:
You knows I luvs ya
It takes one dotty person to know another ya know :lol2: :lol2:
Sex God
Quote by Plimboy
I know how to pull nice looking people in bars and clubs, that's easy,
Then you're ten steps ahead of me, some pointers on that bit would be good.
H.x
I do so agree with H-x. I've been trying to pull like that for a lifetime :!:
Plim
Ditto, instruction manual to my PM box please :small-print:
Someone nice lingered to talk to me today. He had finished what he was doing and was heading off, but he paused and introduced himself, so I did the same. He asked me a few questions about my job and told me about his own and then there was a pause. I asked him what time he'd be working until, he said that he could finish when he wanted. I told him what time I finished. He said he'd be finishing at about the same time as me. There was a pause, he hesitated, we waited for each other to speak. He looked a bit awkward, we smiled and then he headed off.
If there is an instruction manual for meeting people soberly in the day time, I've never seen it!
If there is an instruction manual for meeting people soberly in the day time, I've never seen it!
Sex God
Quote by Missy
Firstly embrace looking like an awkward shy lemon! :lol2: The more awkward and embarrassed you become, the more people will remember you :thumbup:
Can't say they'll remember you for the right reasons :lol2: but you'll stick in their minds!!
Seriously tho, shyness can be very endearing - obviously not shyness where you leg it and just leave a puff of smoke in your wake :shock: but shyness with conversation I mean.
Awkwardness eventually disappears...... or in my case, reaches such ridiculous proportions that once I've calmed a bit, I look positively normal. I'm like the proverbial chinashop bull when I get into awkward can't calm down phase
The only advice I can give, is that whoever you meet that you like, tell them, whether it be the gorgeous person you fancy in the street, the chatty person on the till in Sainsways or the bluddy nice person who walks their dog past you every day and chats - whoever
I reckon :?
Missy - verified by her daughters as "weird and v. embarrassing" :undecided:
Missy ya couldn't have said it better for mee
Well done ............ooooooh so not a girlie thing for me to do................but .................
People love those kind of chance encounters, where they can listen to someone new and also unburden themselves of all sorts of things. Its great fun.
But can you live life at that pace; full on? Well, most of us can't.
But if you are thinking that there could be 'the one' out there in that bookshop, you'll need a broker.
Ask the shopkeeper........................
But can you live life at that pace; full on? Well, most of us can't.
But if you are thinking that there could be 'the one' out there in that bookshop, you'll need a broker.
Ask the shopkeeper........................
i often ask people i have just met if they have an email address or use MSN.
General chit chat can lead to conversations about mutual interests..... or maybe not.... and the friendship might develop or fizzle away as the case maybe.
I never shy away from "random meetings/strangers" ... how do you know that the meeting wasn't "meant to be" in a "fate" sort of way.
i like asking for the opinions of random strangers. I think they can give unbiased opinion.
nice to meet ya by the way curvaceous... do ya have msn? 
General chit chat can lead to conversations about mutual interests..... or maybe not.... and the friendship might develop or fizzle away as the case maybe.
I never shy away from "random meetings/strangers" ... how do you know that the meeting wasn't "meant to be" in a "fate" sort of way.
i like asking for the opinions of random strangers. I think they can give unbiased opinion.
nice to meet ya by the way curvaceous... do ya have msn?
Quote by DeeCee
i often ask people i have just met if they have an email address or use MSN.
General chit chat can lead to conversations about mutual interests..... or maybe not.... and the friendship might develop or fizzle away as the case maybe.
I never shy away from "random meetings/strangers" ... how do you know that the meeting wasn't "meant to be" in a "fate" sort of way.
i like asking for the opinions of random strangers. I think they can give unbiased opinion.
nice to meet ya by the way curvaceous... do ya have msn?
Hi DeeCee
Quote by Curvaceous34g
i often ask people i have just met if they have an email address or use MSN.
General chit chat can lead to conversations about mutual interests..... or maybe not.... and the friendship might develop or fizzle away as the case maybe.
I never shy away from "random meetings/strangers" ... how do you know that the meeting wasn't "meant to be" in a "fate" sort of way.
i like asking for the opinions of random strangers. I think they can give unbiased opinion.
nice to meet ya by the way curvaceous... do ya have msn?
Hi DeeCee
hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo :P
Quote by DeeCee
i often ask people i have just met if they have an email address or use MSN.
General chit chat can lead to conversations about mutual interests..... or maybe not.... and the friendship might develop or fizzle away as the case maybe.
I never shy away from "random meetings/strangers" ... how do you know that the meeting wasn't "meant to be" in a "fate" sort of way.
i like asking for the opinions of random strangers. I think they can give unbiased opinion.
nice to meet ya by the way curvaceous... do ya have msn?
Hi DeeCee
hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo :P
:D You've changed your forum pic twice in ten minutes, are you feeling ok? :wink:
Quote by Curvaceous34g
There was a pause, he hesitated, we waited for each other to speak. He looked a bit awkward, we smiled and then he headed off.
Quote by Missy
The only advice I can give, is that whoever you meet that you like, tell them
Dead right. Because otherwise you end up both walking out of the bookshop wishing you'd asked each other out. Like they say in football, at this level you've gotta take your chances. If you meet someone you like, don't let them get away without you getting some kind of link to them. If they don't want to give it, fine, but at least you were in the game. Sooner or later one will pay out, and you only really need it to pay out once (per relationship, of course.)
I'm normally quite shy but when I met the now Ms Tomu randomly in a pub, I thought, this woman is incredible and I cannot let her slip away; she was visiting Liverpool with a view to moving here, so I got her email address, and kept in touch. When she did move, I came round for dinner the first night, then invited her out for my birthday on her third night, invited her to a gig a couple of days later and that night I pulled her.
It's the only time I've ever actually done "she will be mine, oh yes..." and I guess if she hadn't been interested she could have not answered my emails or not come out for my birthday or to the gig, but the point is, by putting myself in the area and taking a shot, I seem to have scored a goal and may well have won the game.
Quote by Curvaceous34g
...the advice is also making me see why the bookshop encounter didn't go further that day. I'm like Missy, a bull in a china shop...
There's also the possibility the bookshop encounter didn't go further because neither of you asked the other one out...
If you meet in a bookshop perhaps wait until the other person has bought a book and then say "can i have a quick look at that book" get a pen out write your number in the front and say "once you've read the book and need something else to occupy your time, give me a call" then walk away.
When i was single i did things like this a lot, trust me they always call!!
When i was single i did things like this a lot, trust me they always call!!
Quote by Srne
If you meet in a bookshop perhaps wait until the other person has bought a book and then say "can i have a quick look at that book" get a pen out write your number in the front and say "once you've read the book and need something else to occupy your time, give me a call" then walk away.
When i was single i did things like this a lot, trust me they always call!!
Knowing my luck it would be a gift for their wife.
H.x
Quote by H-x
If you meet in a bookshop perhaps wait until the other person has bought a book and then say "can i have a quick look at that book" get a pen out write your number in the front and say "once you've read the book and need something else to occupy your time, give me a call" then walk away.
When i was single i did things like this a lot, trust me they always call!!
Knowing my luck it would be a gift for their wife.
H.x
Good point, obviously many married men do lie and cheat on their wives, but most men and women will also engage in harmless flirtations. How do you enquire if someone is attached without sounding too obvious?
Sex God
Quote by H-x
I know how to pull nice looking people in bars and clubs, that's easy,
Then you're ten steps ahead of me, some pointers on that bit would be good.
H.x
There are two reasons someone looks at you;
1 they consider you a threat
2 they are intreasted in you, be it to take your money or your honour.
There are two reasons why people look away from you;
1 they are intimidated by you
2 they are interested in you, but do not wish to scare you. Diana was a prime example of the I am not looking at you look.
So every time you look at someone you run the risk of sending a message. How do people know which message you are sending? It is in your body posture The more relaxed you are the less of a threat you are considered. Too relaxed and you may not be interested enough.
So now you look at them and they at you, spark. Now is the time to walk over. Do notpanic and do not delay start to talk. The trick is when do you change from nice wall paper here to what colour is your bedroom.
Quote by
There are two reasons someone looks at you;
1 they consider you a threat
2 they are intreasted in you, be it to take your money or your honour.
There are two reasons why people look away from you;
1 they are intimidated by you
2 they are interested in you, but do not wish to scare you. Diana was a prime example of the I am not looking at you look.
So every time you look at someone you run the risk of sending a message. How do people know which message you are sending? It is in your body posture The more relaxed you are the less of a threat you are considered. Too relaxed and you may not be interested enough.
So now you look at them and they at you, spark. Now is the time to walk over. Do not panic and do not delay start to talk. The trick is when do you change from nice wall paper here to what colour is your bedroom.
I'd never think anyone would consider me a threat, that wouldn't have crossed my mind.
There is a third reason someone would look away, they're not interested. Maybe that's my problem I can't differenciate the two (ie looking away because of interest and looking away because of disinterest).
As for me doing the walking over, not a snowball's chance in hell
H.x
