Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login

am I too honest???

last reply
45 replies
2.0k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Quote by curvy-gal
So would your wife not like to be involved if she is aware of your interest in the activity??

She is a bit of an odd lass. Her past experience was when I dared her to flash a friend, and we had a night of bare breasts and groping, followed by great sex when we got home (alone), she said she enjoyed that. But that was when we 1st married, now she seems to change her mind like her socks.
She told me a fantasy of being watched during sex, and when I have suggested to try to act her fantasy out she has claimed that fantasies are just that because you don't do them. Several of my far more involved fantasies have excited her during sex, but she never wants to go further or try. She also says she likes things to be spontanious and not planned, which pretty much means never happens.
She can also be a bit prudish at time, but then other times more fun and frisky. I have tried to convince her that we should attend a swinging club and see what it's like, perhaps try a room by ourselves (with on-lookers) so far not looking likely.
All in all she has at times left me extremely frustrated when she has told me she would like to try something in all seriousness, but then when it looks like I might be able to arrange it, she denies it all.
Sounds like you just need to have more patience with her and take it a bit slower while still talking to her about it.
Communication and patience are the best ways forward in some cases. If you go and cheat on her by doing it without her then I know for certain I'd have nothing to do with the entire swinging thing.
kiss
Gem. x
Quote by clinguist

So would your wife not like to be involved if she is aware of your interest in the activity??

She is a bit of an odd lass. Her past experience was when I dared her to flash a friend, and we had a night of bare breasts and groping, followed by great sex when we got home (alone), she said she enjoyed that. But that was when we 1st married, now she seems to change her mind like her socks.
She told me a fantasy of being watched during sex, and when I have suggested to try to act her fantasy out she has claimed that fantasies are just that because you don't do them. Several of my far more involved fantasies have excited her during sex, but she never wants to go further or try. She also says she likes things to be spontanious and not planned, which pretty much means never happens.
She can also be a bit prudish at time, but then other times more fun and frisky. I have tried to convince her that we should attend a swinging club and see what it's like, perhaps try a room by ourselves (with on-lookers) so far not looking likely.
All in all she has at times left me extremely frustrated when she has told me she would like to try something in all seriousness, but then when it looks like I might be able to arrange it, she denies it all.
Without judging you it seems like a bit of a communcation problem to me...I found that it was much easier to talk about fantasies (with my ex) when we were horny and even the thought about talking about it in a general conversation made me really scared! lol
Does your wife know that you come on this site? It seems like you'd like to swing with her but the problem is is that if you are coming online to SH without her knowing or consenting, the longer you do this the harder it will be to involve your wife and the less likely its gonna happen for you and your wife.
Sorry to be nosey but I'd love to have a long term swinging partner/boyfriend and from a females point of view i really dont think you should give up on your wifeespecially when she has shown SOME interest in it.
Quote by little gem
Why ask a question where you already know deep down the answer of what you should be doing? dunno If you really didn't care about your wife then you wouldn't have asked all us to chip our tuppence in and then given reasons to supposedly justify things. Thats what gets my back up. We all have reasons for one thing or another but not everyone needs to purge their own guilt via public hanging. confused If you're going to do it, declare your status so everyone else can have their personal preferrence and just darn well get on with it. each to their own.

Ummm, I think you have mixed up my posts and those of the original poster smile
Somone else posted the question I was posting my view on the subject, and then explaining my reasoning. :)
Quote by robhambledon
As a married guy who is looking to get involved in the "scene" am I too honest telling all that I am married and that my wife would neither want to be involved or want me to be involved and is this whats preventing me from getiing into the "scene" .
or should i just lie??????......and why do bi-male guys always try to chat me up?

Well as your asking if your "to honest" i would say....
NO!
Your cheating as the others have told you, how can that be "to honest" ?
Tony
Quote by curvy-gal
Without judging you it seems like a bit of a communcation problem to me...I found that it was much easier to talk about fantasies (with my ex) when we were horny and even the thought about talking about it in a general conversation made me really scared! lol
Does your wife know that you come on this site? It seems like you'd like to swing with her but the problem is is that if you are coming online to SH without her knowing or consenting, the longer you do this the harder it will be to involve your wife and the less likely its gonna happen for you and your wife.
Sorry to be nosey but I'd love to have a long term swinging partner/boyfriend and from a females point of view i really dont think you should give up on your wifeespecially when she has shown SOME interest in it.

She has in past talked about it when not mid shag, but then backpedals at other times.
She doesn't know I have come here (only been here a few days smile ) she would see me looking at anything like this she will take as me leaving her, she tends to overreact to anything and worry about everything.
I would too.. and I am not.
Quote by clinguist

Without judging you it seems like a bit of a communcation problem to me...I found that it was much easier to talk about fantasies (with my ex) when we were horny and even the thought about talking about it in a general conversation made me really scared! lol
Does your wife know that you come on this site? It seems like you'd like to swing with her but the problem is is that if you are coming online to SH without her knowing or consenting, the longer you do this the harder it will be to involve your wife and the less likely its gonna happen for you and your wife.
Sorry to be nosey but I'd love to have a long term swinging partner/boyfriend and from a females point of view i really dont think you should give up on your wifeespecially when she has shown SOME interest in it.

She has in past talked about it when not mid shag, but then backpedals at other times.
She doesn't know I have come here (only been here a few days smile ) she would see me looking at anything like this she will take as me leaving her, she tends to overreact to anything and worry about everything.
I would too.. and I am not.
3 words for you then.....
can of worms
:shock:
Quote by clinguist
She has in past talked about it when not mid shag, but then backpedals at other times.

ask yourself why this is then........probably because she doesn't want to know ! The worse thing to do would be to talk her into something she's only doing for your sake and not hers
Either you are honest or not, there are no shades as far as I can see!!
Personally I think you know that you are not being honest and just seek an endorsement from people on the site, so you can carry on decieving your wife.
No matter how you care to candy wrap deciet, it is there.
i have found that there is a lot of married men on this site but i think they're all in the same boat when meeting is concerned.
Me personally, I dont think it's just the decipt that puts people off married men... (and forgive me for being shallow)
but its also the fact that they wont be able to be as flexible when it comes to meeting arrangements, will they be running off straight after the 'deed' is done?, everything has to be kept so secretive and imagine what would happen if it all cam out and that person lived locally and had children.
Not a pretty idea
I can fully see your point, it does require thought and being careful. I have in past many years ago had a sort of arrangement with a friend from college, we have never had sex, but pretty much everything but that.
Meeting up was always a little tricky, but in some ways this added to some of the fun, and to this day (as far as I am aware) no one but us knows what happened. It is possible but obvioulsy nowhere near as flexible.
Quote by clinguist
Iand to this day (as far as I am aware) no one but us knows what happened.

Now this information is available to half a million SH members!!
Congratulations! :P rotflmao lol
hope all the comments here havnt put u off this site !!!
i know many women on here (me included) who meet married men, some women prefer that
personally i dont mind if the men i meet r married or single, and although married men sometimes do hav limited time its fairly easy to work round that
im married and meet both married and single men and only once had someone who wudnt meet cus of that (i always say im married straight away)
good luck
ls
Quote by curvy-gal
Iand to this day (as far as I am aware) no one but us knows what happened.

Now this information is available to half a million SH members!!
Congratulations! :P rotflmao lol
Ay but you see, you only know that something happen, not when, who or what exactly :P :P :P
Quote by ls
hope all the comments here havnt put u off this site !!!
i know many women on here (me included) who meet married men, some women prefer that
personally i dont mind if the men i meet r married or single, and although married men sometimes do hav limited time its fairly easy to work round that
im married and meet both married and single men and only once had someone who wudnt meet cus of that (i always say im married straight away)
good luck
ls

Not at all.
I am a very tenacious person smile (but in a good way :) )
thanks for the post tho