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Beware all road users! I'm BACK!

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Well after the small saga of my dying VW polo and the bike on the bus drama welcome to the warning that I am now mobile again!
It is a story in itself......... get yourself a cup of tea, snuggle into your favourite armchair (or beneath the duvet if your one of these that surfs the net in bed! rolleyes) and I shall begin.
It all began on a winter's day before christmas 2004 with a lovely gunmetal gray VW polol and its very gorgeous (no laughing at the back please) owner who loved the car very much went on a little trip. Ok, a few little trips! lol
The car loved making the visits over the pennines to visit friends and spend afternoons walking the dog. They had a lovely weekend travelling back and forward to friends in chorley, partying and enjoying themselves loads.
Alas, the little car had done too many miles on not a lot of oil. OK, next to no oil, we had to fish the stick around the tank to find a measly little smidgen on the bottom as I hadn't filled it in the two years I had owned her. redface That is another story....
The poor little VW coughed spluttered and complained loads until she gave up the ghost and her engine refussed to be fixed. sad complete with the burned through pipe too. :roll: Towed away and handed over to accept a crushing fate. :cry:
Then along came the lovely shiney Citroen AX in metallic purple, mmmmmm. With a batter of her eyelashes she appealed to be bought and driven wildly around corners.
The thoughtful little car cried out;
No more will my you my fantastic new owner have to struggle to get to places. You will no longer be saddle sore and have welts the size of small dinner plates on your bum cos my seats are all snug and comfy. You will no longer have to lie to bus drivers in order to get your bike on the bus because you are half dead by the curbside. No more buses.
Buy me, Buy ME, BUY ME!

Once money had exchanged hands the little rascal wouldn't pass it's MOT test. It needed new things here there and everywhere and several phonecalls to the garage left me waiting over a month for the new purchase to be roadworthy. She now squeals with excitement everytime I turn the key to start the engine (I think the fan belt is slipping :scaredsmile
So, eventually, I am now the proud owner of a (nearly) new car.
BEWARE ALL ROAD USERS!
I'M BACK! :lol: :twisted:
lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Hope you found out where to put the oil in this one Gem!! :lol: :lol:
redface
Actually I havn't really looked under the bonnet in this one yet! surprisedops:
Maybe someone can give me lessons in looking for oil thingymebobs that need attention every now and then.
OMG, run for cover! bolt :scared: sillyhwoar:
I think you shove the oil down the dipstick thingie Gem? dunno
Never take advice from Kitty on cars!! bolt
Glad you got it sorted hun smile
Its probably safer on the roads than it is on the paths. :shock:
Hope you happy trips up and down the pennines with your new found joy.
Quote by little gem
redface
Actually I havn't really looked under the bonnet in this one yet! surprisedops:
Maybe someone can give me lessons in looking for oil thingymebobs that need attention every now and then.

Gem!! :shock: rolleyes Did you not even fill the washer bottles up in the old car?? lol
you lot may well laugh as it wont affect you!
however, i live perilously close to gem and now will have to start looking left and right when i leave my front door!!!! :shock:
Me thinks a quick course on maintainence would not go amiss.
NO not just cleaning the interior mirror so you can admire yourself whilst driving.
:shock: bolt
Read the fckin manual :small-print:
Quote by little gem
redface
Actually I havn't really looked under the bonnet in this one yet! surprisedops:
Maybe someone can give me lessons in looking for oil thingymebobs that need attention every now and then.

SARGE!!!!
One for you matey - time to earn your "serving the community" badge!! biggrin
Mal
wink
I knew which one the washer bottle was in the old car cos it was big, white and had a label saying "Water"
This one, I really do not have an idea cos I havn't looked yet redface
WBB, you should be very careful as I haven't found out the gas to clutch ratio properly yet either :scared:
The rest of you are wondering how the hell I passed my test now aren't you! lol
You took a test???
You're qualified??????? :shock:
nooooooooo just thank god for valium prescriptions as when you did pass the driving instructor must have been on a double dose that day :crazy: :gagged: :love:
i hope you have many happy days with your new car just let the rest of us know when you will be out and about bolt
Generally Not Very Qualified in not a lot really Mal!
Of course I passed my driving test, but the man did warn me that I should bear in mind that if I get a few points I have to do it all again. rolleyes Cheeky monkey, I am quite a good driver actually! lol
Just need to read the manual.............. again...........
Whoops, the right way up would help! :doh:
if you have just bought this car, who has looked under the bonnet for you to check all is in good working order and not about to fall apart, or stop at traffice lights.
:censored: :doh: :uhoh: banghead
Congratulations Little Gem in finally being mobile again. lol :lol: :lol: :lol: (Gem lives nowhere near me, i can afford to congratulate)
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
Hi Littlegem,
You couldn't maybe ..if its not too much bother...like be my chauffeur for gigs?
I'll make it worth your while wink
Al
xxxx
Quote by satin
:censored: :doh: :uhoh: banghead


hey.......look on the bright side, you can get a lift to parties and not have to worry about dodgy directions!

:rascal:
Erm........ Kitty........ I think you should consult Neil, Judy or even the lovely Dundeecpl as to my navigational skills. I'm sure they can tell you some hair curling stories about my navigation! lol
I'm not quite as bad as Satin, but I'm pretty darn close. Well, that's what Neil reckons anyway! :lol: redface But what does he know! Bloody Yorkie hasn't even got a driving license! :lol: :P
My dad checked it out for me so I just kind of trusted him that it was all sound and in working order. If it all goes wrong I have someone to blame too! :smug:
And those that think they are too far away to encounter my driving...... think again! It's like Jaws...... just when you thought it was safe.......... !
:lol:
Quote by little gem
Erm........ Kitty........ I think you should consult Neil, Judy or even the lovely Dundeecpl as to my navigational skills. I'm sure they can tell you some hair curling stories about my navigation! lol
I'm not quite as bad as Satin, but I'm pretty danr close. Well that's what Neil reckons anyway! :lol: redface

Oh.........flip....
Ok - lets start saving for a Sat Nav for the people in Party Central????
FFS - if you guys can't get anywhere, theres no flippin party :rascal:
Gem you could always nip round and I'll show you what the dipstick is for... wink
the dipstick is for checking the car out while you and Countess go and get plastered. lol
Good to hear you're completely mobile again and the offer of showing you what the dipstick's for does stand. You're more than welcome any time.
Quote by easy
Gem you could always nip round and I'll show you what the dipstick is for... wink
the dipstick is for checking the car out while you and Countess go and get plastered. lol
Good to hear you're completely mobile again and the offer of showing you what the dipstick's for does stand. You're more than welcome any time.

biggrin Now you bloody offer once I'm not bloody playing anymore! Typical! evil
:lol: But the offer of going out and getting pissed with countess while you service my car sounds mighty tempting! :lol:
When are you free? ;)
Its not a case of
Keep death of the roads - drive on the pavement
bolt
Quote by little gem
And those that think they are too far away to encounter my driving...... think again! It's like Jaws...... just when you thought it was safe.......... !
lol

:shock:
innocent
Quote by little gem
Gem you could always nip round and I'll show you what the dipstick is for... wink
the dipstick is for checking the car out while you and Countess go and get plastered. lol
Good to hear you're completely mobile again and the offer of showing you what the dipstick's for does stand. You're more than welcome any time.

biggrin Now you bloody offer once I'm not bloody playing anymore! Typical! evil
:lol: But the offer of going out and getting pissed with countess while you service my car sounds mighty tempting! :lol:
When are you free? ;)
Since when have I been giving it a service? :shock: I'll show you how to check the oil, water etc and where the oil goes if and when it needs it. After that I'll make sure it's all topped up while you get inebriated.
PM for details when I'm free. You know you're more than welcome to visit hun. kiss
*skips off to easy and countess's place for tea, biccies and a course in basic car maintainence biggrin
Thanks Easy! kiss
Quote by da69ve
May God have Mercy on us!!! bolt

Seconded! :shock: Many years ago my brother demonstrated his extensive knowledge of engines by suddenly deciding he was going to do some maintenance on the company car he had at the time............... & filled the engine up with oil! rolleyes (Don't think he knew about dipsticks). That's up to the top of the cylinder head cover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mum wasn't very pleased when, after blowing the cylinder head gasket, there was an awful lot of very black engine oil all over the road outside the house. :!: :!:
I think you should consult Neil, Judy or even the lovely Dundeecpl as to my navigational skills. I'm sure they can tell you some hair curling stories about my navigation!

uuuuummmmm . . . well i could, but the whole thing would be too traumatic to relive. it's not a place i care to go back to! :scared:
ta gem i'm gonna have pigging nightmares now tonight! mad
n x x x :P