Couples & Singles meeting etiquette

14 Mar 2006

Quote by PoloLady
I can appreciate how it can be annoying (to say the least) when a single chats away to one half of a couple, when the couple want to be treated as a couple. However, just to throw a different perspective into the potâ€¦ thatâ€™s not always the case is it?

Good God No !
I hope I didn't give that impression. It's only a very small handful. What makes it noticeable, and likewise, more annoying; is the frequency of the same small handful of people that in my humble (honestly) opinion should know better.
Forgive me - it's 3am and I'm in feckin agony with a bad back - I hope somewhere in my original post I used the words "some people"

Quote by PoloLady
Just a final thoughtâ€¦
Would it be as annoying if the female of one couple came over and chatted away to the female of another couple â€“ complimenting her on her dress, asking where she got her shoes from and a load of other girlie chat. Talking about things of little interest to the male?

I can only speak for myself, but no it wouldn't - if she made at least half an attempt to include both parties of the couple. Then the "uninterested" person could make the choice as to whether they wanted to be part of the conversation.
As to the rest of your post PoloLady, that I haven't quoted ........................
As is more often than not the case, you are spot on with your observations.
I have read both HLB's and my post, and the replies.
I can see where there is a slight confusion going on.
Apart from where I tried to give a little advice; my point (and annoyance) is purely in regard to the social aspect of meeting people at Munches and socials, and other social communications. Whereas HLB mentioned "Munches, Socials and clubs"
I can see where I didn't make that clear.
I really shouldn't post without ranting, when there is clearly a rant going on in my head redface

Your word, and those of duncanlondon almost make me feel I should retract what I said earlier in the thread.
I won't, because I still think my point is valid about the social graces, etiquette and basic good manners of socialinteraction within this lifestyle that we choose.

14 Mar 2006

Quote by dambuster
As to the rest of your post PoloLady, that I haven't quoted ........................
As is more often than not the case, you are spot on with your observations.
I have read both HLB's and my post, and the replies.
I can see where there is a slight confusion going on.
Apart from where I tried to give a little advice; my point (and annoyance) is purely in regard to the social aspect of meeting people at Munches and socials, and other social communications. Whereas HLB mentioned "Munches, Socials and clubs"
I can see where I didn't make that clear.
I really shouldn't post without ranting, when there is clearly a rant going on in my head
Your word, and those of duncanlondon almost make me feel I should retract what I said earlier in the thread.
I won't, because I still think my point is valid about the social graces, etiquette and basic good manners of social interaction within this lifestyle that we choose.

Why on earth should you retract what you have said dunno

They are perfectly valid points.
Mine are just a collective of observations - there is no case of right and wrong - it is all about individual expectations.
My observations are purely to show who some people can misread signs from past experience and not see how that behaviour is not suitable in other situations.

14 Mar 2006

In answer to the original post .......
Have I been approached by only one half of the couple ?
Yes. On some occasions. This seemss to be when the couple have already made up their mind that one of them is looking to be 'voyeur' and get their kicks from that.
Does it make a difference if a couple swing as a couple or singles ?
Absolutely none whatsoever. As long as they know what they want from any meeting, and they make it clear to interested parties, there's no problem.
In terms of approaching a couple and then talking to only one half of the couple, that's just plain rude (unless rule one applies - see above). If, as a single, I approach a couple to talk to them (or whatever), then the key word is 'couple'. If they wanted me to talk to them singly then surely they would not be together whilst meeting ?
Any single approaching a couple and talking to only one half, is effectively saying "I'm not interested in you, only your partner", which is plain unacceptable. I would hope that anyone who behaves like that is 'educated' by the couple in pointing out the fact that their partner is with them, and they should talk to them too. I can understand that it can be a bit daunting for singles to talk to both partners straight away as it is a slightly alien situation that gets easier with time / experience, so to quote Dammie - 'cutting a little slack' is alright, but if it is clear that they are only really looking for one person from the two, then they need to be shown the door (metaphorically speaking.... or not, depending on how rude they are).
As an aside, I recently met a couple from this site, and I'm sure I could have been only interested in one of the people, and that would have been OK with them, but actually engaging both of them in conversation rewarded all of us a lot more then me focussing on her only. They even said so ! (And they didn't really plan it that way either - it's just me, I like to talk to / understand both 'sides' of a couple).
PS. Dawn / Ian - if you're reading this, I don't mean you two ! (Heck, Dawn speaks enough for all three of us !). Oh boy, I'm gonna be dead when she reads this ...... redface

I could go on and on about this, but to sum up my feelings and experience, if a single meets a couple, then they are obligated to talk to the couple.
If the couple meet singly, then it's just another two singles meeting.