whats for tea....'a rasher of wind and a fried snowball', or '3 jumps to the cupboard door' were stock answers
and for the 'coitus interruptus' we used to say getting off at Hunts Cross (a small station halfway between here and Liverpool)
where are you going mum? 'there and back to see how far it is'
where are you going dad? ' To see a man about a dog'.....how dissappointed was I when this dog never materialised!