Do 3sums ruin a relationship?

18 Feb 2007

Quote by blueandpink
Hi DC and :welcome:
When we started we decided to start with only foursomes, for the following reasons:
a no one was feeling left out
b we both saw each other with other people at the same time
b less likelihood of the 'third party' coming between us
As it happens we were absolutely fine, seeing each other with other people (phwooaarrr ) but we were cautious because we had thought exactly the same as you before when we were researching whether swinging was for us.
Ultimately as long as you two are secure if you meet the third party that isn't and starts causing problems then that's their problem, not yours. We always agree if anyone (be it a third party or couple) is getting in between then we walk away. Hasn't happened yet though
pink x

Hi Pink,
Thanks for the welcome!
I guess the foursome thing does make sense, although my fantasy is to see R having more fun. I guess I could get used to the extra attention though! We won't know until we've tried it, so I need to pick the moment to talk to R some more.
Now I think about it, the idea of a foursome is, um, growing on me...
Thanks again,
DC

18 Feb 2007

Eeeeerm....No!
Having tried it I have to say that for us it has enhanced the relationship rather than ruined it. As long as you choose carefully and communicate lots I think it works fine! When can we do it again Stormy??? :bounce:
Love
Fire xxx

24 Feb 2007

Who usually gets to wash the sheets????????????????

Quote by redpantherman
The 3somes I have had have not ruined anything, just been good fun :twisted:

Well hardyhaha for you then Sarah you smug so & so flipa

My threesums have been nothing but a complete headache mad

Do you know how many bedsheets I get thru?!!
& coz I'm a single guy I'm the one left with all the fecking washing!
:fuckinghell: Grrrrrrr....

24 Feb 2007

Who usually gets to wash the sheets????????????????

Quote by redpantherman
The 3somes I have had have not ruined anything, just been good fun :twisted:

Well hardyhaha for you then Sarah you smug so & so flipa

My threesums have been nothing but a complete headache mad

Do you know how many bedsheets I get thru?!!
& coz I'm a single guy I'm the one left with all the fecking washing!
:fuckinghell: Grrrrrrr....

25 Feb 2007

Quote by anais
If the fourth person doesnt know of the threesum... until after the event, yeah it def ruins a relationship!!
My experience!
xanaisx

i was just thinking a very similar thing!

25 Feb 2007

Quote by Sweet_pea
If the fourth person doesnt know of the threesum... until after the event, yeah it def ruins a relationship!!
My experience!
xanaisx

I was just thinking a very similar thing!
Sweet_pea kiss

thats just one persons experience, we all have different ones. Unfortunately mines in the negative sense. I cant speak as a *swinger* as Im not in the scene.
What I have learnt from member members here is too keep talking to your OH, being honest with another, tell each other everything and most of all go at your own pace.
My relationship obviously wasnt based on that....sadly! confused

:?
Good luck and take no notice of me, I talk crap the best of times hehe
xanaisx

25 Feb 2007

Quote by anais
If the fourth person doesnt know of the threesum... until after the event, yeah it def ruins a relationship!!
My experience!
xanaisx

I was just thinking a very similar thing!
Sweet_pea kiss

thats just one persons experience, we all have different ones. Unfortunately mines in the negative sense. I cant speak as a *swinger* as Im not in the scene.
What I have learnt from member members here is too keep talking to your OH, being honest with another, tell each other everything and most of all go at your own pace.
My relationship obviously wasnt based on that....sadly! confused

:?
Good luck and take no notice of me, I talk crap the best of times hehe biggrin

xanaisx
Not talking crap, mine was a negative sense too and took a long time for me to trust anyone else and myself too.
I am new the swinging scene, this week joined the site with the support and encouragement of my (more experienced) bf.
Thank you for the advice and sweet kiss
Ali x

25 Feb 2007

Quote by Sweet_pea
If the fourth person doesnt know of the threesum... until after the event, yeah it def ruins a relationship!!
My experience!
xanaisx

I was just thinking a very similar thing!
Sweet_pea kiss

thats just one persons experience, we all have different ones. Unfortunately mines in the negative sense. I cant speak as a *swinger* as Im not in the scene.
What I have learnt from member members here is too keep talking to your OH, being honest with another, tell each other everything and most of all go at your own pace.
My relationship obviously wasnt based on that....sadly! confused

:?
Good luck and take no notice of me, I talk crap the best of times hehe biggrin

xanaisx
Not talking crap, mine was a negative sense too and took a long time for me to trust anyone else and myself too.
I am new the swinging scene, this week joined the site with the support and encouragement of my (more experienced) bf.
Thank you for the advice and sweet kiss
Ali x
Thank you Sweet_pea smile

, my experience is still quite raw for me and find it quite difficuilt to trust people, confidence is at rock bottom. Im sure one day I will get over that but it seems a long way off at the moment.
Welcome both of you to the site.. Im sure you'll make friends and get to know people. :) Sounds like you have supportive guy in your life and thats great... :) :) :kiss:
xxxx

2 Mar 2007

Ha that post reminded me of something eddie murphy once said. He was telling a story about a friend of his whos wife caught him cheating on another woman, if i remember correctly it went a little something like this.
Wife- I cant believe you would do this, i love you, i look after you, why do you do this.
Husband- Baby i'm sorry, listen...
Wife- No! your supposed to love me but you fucked her!
Husband- Alright yes! I fucked her! I make love to you.
genius x

2 Mar 2007

Quote by Drewxcore
My answer is no but i have a female friend who says they always do.....i said i would be able to find her a huge number of people who will dissagree with her.
any volunteers? x

Im yet to find out redface

Louise xx

2 Mar 2007

Quote by Dawnie
I think it would depend on the relationship.
Swinging in a poor relationship can hightlight the problems. Swinging in a strong relationship usually works

I agree totally.

2 Mar 2007

we had our first 3 sum 7 years ago with a bloke which we still keep in contact with and still have fun and if anything it has brought myself and my hub stronger 2 gether but i must add we have got a very strong relationship and very open to each other i dont think it would work if you wernt in a strong relationship to start of with smile

2 Mar 2007

Quote by redpantherman
The 3somes I have had have not ruined anything, just been good fun :twisted:

Well hardyhaha for you then Sarah you smug so & so flipa

My threesums have been nothing but a complete headache mad

Do you know how many bedsheets I get thru?!!
& coz I'm a single guy I'm the one left with all the fecking washing!
:fuckinghell: Grrrrrrr....
Aww, sweetie. Have I been letting you down? Not fulfilling my wifely duties? Tough!
I'd rather be tied to a bed than a washing machine!
I saw this line and adopted it as my mantra "Dull women have immaculate houses"
It makes me feel better anyway! lol

2 Mar 2007

I think its akin to "does my arse look big in this?"
................ it's what's underneath that's causing the problem not the manefestation smile