Do we need change in here? (nee I don't start many strings)

18 Dec 2004

But I shall make an exeption for this. I have just posted this in another string:

Perhaps jon_tj has inspired me to tell it like it is.
Or perhaps I am just pissed.
However. The world according to Kat.
When I joined this site, it was perfect for me, could have been set up for me, exactly what I needed at that time in my life. Now it has changed, and I think for the better. When I joined, it was all talk and not much action. Now, it is a better balance. People meet. It is a true resource for swingers.
Now, I don't need to be here, I am just her because I enjoy it. In a recent post I said that it was not perfect for me anymore. My reasons for saying this are not selfish. Mark set up this site because there was not a single site in this cyber world where swingers for free could meet to talk about what swinging really meant.
The place where we did this, was in the cafe. This was where we explored ourselves. I feel, the cafe has lost some of that. A look down the list of current strings will show a large number of strings that are posted simply for amusement. In my view, too many. I would ask that people think before they post. This is a swinging site, including the cafe forum. Lets not turn it into a general chat forum, with the occasional swinging reference.
lhk
Kat

and I personally think it deserves a string of it's own. I would like to see less strings in the cafe that are completely unrelated to swinging.
Kat
edit - and I have just realise I have broken my own rule - don't tell people what you don't want, tell them what you do want.
I would like to see the cafe more focussed on swinging, the sex, the fun, the flirting.

18 Dec 2004

Perhaps jon_tj has inspired me to tell it like it is.
Or perhaps I am just pissed.
However. The world according to Kat.
When I joined this site, it was perfect for me, could have been set up for me, exactly what I needed at that time in my life. Now it has changed, and I think for the better. When I joined, it was all talk and not much action. Now, it is a better balance. People meet. It is a true resource for swingers.
Now, I don't need to be here, I am just her because I enjoy it. In a recent post I said that it was not perfect for me anymore. My reasons for saying this are not selfish. Mark set up this site because there was not a single site in this cyber world where swingers for free could meet to talk about what swinging really meant.
The place where we did this, was in the cafe. This was where we explored ourselves. I feel, the cafe has lost some of that. A look down the list of current strings will show a large number of strings that are posted simply for amusement. In my view, too many. I would ask that people think before they post. This is a swinging site, including the cafe forum. Lets not turn it into a general chat forum, with the occasional swinging reference.
lhk
Kat

Some good points Kat, but the Cafe has always been rather bizarre and off-topic - I remember things like Ping-Pong, the GFZ, favorite music, film, food threads etc from when I first joined.
I wonder if the problem is that with so many new people on the site the Cafe moves so quick that only the more trivial threads stay near the top. Maybe a split to a "swinging topics" forum and a "general chat" forum would help keep the diversity going?
Roger the Dragon.
In that case Kat I shall move my reply to here as well. cool

Roger the Dragon

18 Dec 2004

The Cafe
General discussion and chit-chat. Post anything here that is NOT a Meet Up or about Dogging. Use the sections below for those.
Nuff said, in my ever so humble opinion !! confused

:lol: :lol: :lol:

18 Dec 2004

Quote by Sgt Bilko
The Cafe
General discussion and chit-chat. Post anything here that is NOT a Meet Up or about Dogging. Use the sections below for those.
Nuff said, in my ever so humble opinion !! :? :lol: :lol: :lol:

I'm going to play devils advocate here Sarge - In my opinion people use the Cafe for 2 different reasons :-
1) To chat about swinging issues, their swinging experiences or to ask about peoples opinions.
2) To engage in general chit chat about books, songs etc or play word games - all with people they have got to know and want to chat to.
If this is really the case then would it do any harm to expand the number of Forums to give people more options within the site?
"Anything that is not a meet up or Dogging" covers a hell of a lot of ground.
Roger the Dragon.
P.S. - Please note I do not dislike the site as it is, I have no intentions of leaving etc. - it is just that I think even a very good place can be improved.

18 Dec 2004

Roger, I know! I felt a hypocrite as I was typing it! redface

And Jags is going to shout at me because I spelt exception wrong!
I've been here a long time, and been a gobshite since the day I joined. I may not be completely right, but I am damn sure I am not completely wrong! confused

lhk

18 Dec 2004

Personally I would like to see a change in the threads that get started.
I am not keen on the one line thread starters. If you feel you need to start a thread, then surely it must be about something that you have an opinion on ........ So in my ideal world, the people that do start a thread, give the subject, give their opinion, and give the reasons why they have that opinion.
Threads that begin with one line, should be in the chatroom, although admittedly the odd one is funny, but most of them are not, they're pointless. That is what the chatroom is there for, to chat - and I sometimes feel that the forums are just being used for a very slow form of it! V. annoying trying to trawl through 'chat' to find posts with some substance or at least some point.
Threads that are about trivial problems, problems that noone can help with, problems that people don't want help with, they just want to moan about something - All they seem to do is bring the forum down. I don't come on here to be brought down, I have enough of my own trivial problems, noone is unique at having trivial problems. I come on here to have a laugh, be given food for thought, to read and offer opinions.
However, saying all that, there are some cracking threads out there, some get quite heated, some are pretty emotional, some are extremely funny, some totally bizarre :shock: some about swinging, some about sex, some about every day issues. I love the diversity of the subjects in the Cafe.
So all in all, I love this place, that last paragraph outweighs the whole of the previous lot, that's why I'm still here biggrin

18 Dec 2004

Got to agree with a bit of"In the old days...."sometimes.I have and still do enjoy the frivolity of the cafe and have made some good friends through it, albeit the majority still remain cybermates,friends who have helped me in darker days when the subjects were more serious for there is room for all on a site such as this?
Lb

18 Dec 2004

Quote by Sgt Bilko
The Cafe
General discussion and chit-chat. Post anything here that is NOT a Meet Up or about Dogging. Use the sections below for those.
Nuff said, in my ever so humble opinion !! :? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Have a clap.
Surely we would run out of things to say on just the one topic at some stage???
The social side of this is important to me and tbh my best meets have come from peeps who I know I would get on with - if that is from some random post on the forum then so be it.
Aint it enough that we can, if we like, post about anything and talk freely on many subjects?
That's part of the buzz for me!
Cathy x

18 Dec 2004

I know I am still a newbie around here - but one thing I do take as a positive about the CafÃ© is that it is as it is. It is a place where we singletons can learn rather than jumping in on the Meet up section and make a right prat of ourselves.
I know I don't post as much - or ever been in the chat room - but I do learn a lot from reading the threads/strings here. And, I do mean this with the utmost sincerity, with this place being free for those of us who cannot afford to use pay sites, I thank those who provide it. That includes those who offer real life experiences to chew over. So from me, all I can say is thank you.

18 Dec 2004

I don't have a problem with "General chit-chat", but FFS - word association????? That's not even entertainment, it's just posting for the sake of posting, and good bloody riddance to it I say.
Keeping it strictly 'on-topic' is probably not practicable, but I do think there have to be limits. To be quite blunt, I don't come here to read about people's everyday personal problems - I have enough of those of my own thank you very much, and this place is a kind of refuge from that.
One-liners: They have their place, for example they can be funny when used judiciously, but when it's every other post it's obviously only done for the sake of it and would be better suited to the chatroom.
Hijacking: Inevitable and not necessarily a bad thing, but I do wish certain people would grow up and realise that not every thread has to be about them. Some people have interesting things to say and they are getting buried by the repetitive drivel that takes over 90% of 'serious' threads. Again, take it to the chatroom, that's what it's for.
I think the mods are in a bit of a no-win situation at the moment, because they can either remove/lock the crap, thereby upsetting the compulsive posters and have people whingeing about their "rights" and "freedom of speech" and all that garbage, or they can take a liberal, tolerant stance and incur the displeasure of those who would rather not see every attempt at a genuine discussion submerged in the tedium of the "Oooerrr missus" brigade.
One possible alternative is to have another forum, where the really pointless stuff can be moved to. I think this would leave actual discussions in the cafe easier to find and would also keep those whose post count is the most important thing in the world happy.
If things stay as they are, I will continue to trawl through the rubbish (for which I am admittedly just as responsible as anyone else) in search of interesting topics, because I think it's worth the effort. I'm just thinking how nice it would be if it were made easier for lazy people like me. biggrin

Ice

18 Dec 2004

i too must admit to be glad to see the back of the SH Clock and association thread .. I'll admit to being as guilty as most on the SH Clock but have been wondering what to point was just lately. The word association thread cost me two posts I think ... it was pure evil :twisted:
I'm very surprised only to have lost about 100 posts in total and haven't dropped any in the grand scheme of things ... so I'm not bothered in the slightest ...

18 Dec 2004

Roger, it occurs to me that there is a third reason people post, and that is to be seen posting and bring up their number of postings,, pointless occupation to me.
I know wat is meant by the general trivia, hey its raining here today, type thread, again its so pointless.
The threads that really anoy me though are the so called, funnies, especialy the american ones that we have all had by email anyway!!

18 Dec 2004

Yes, what Sarge, Misschief, Red and Ice said. There is quite a lot of meaningless shite around. There have been one or two worthwhile gems washed away in a sea of moronic fluid.
It might be worth the Mods posting a Sticky or adding to the Advice Board some more guidelines as to what sort of thing is to be encouraged (or discouraged). I don't think that is constraining free speech - it is just improving the quality of life. That way I think the Mods will not be onto a loser. It might even be worth putting up some draft guidelines for peoples' views on a thread by way of gaining consensus??
Just a thought.

18 Dec 2004

Well I hope this does not turn into another flounce thread as half the posters develop yet another complex of is it me rolleyes

:roll: :roll: .
I always try to work out what is my addiction to this site and YES I trully believe it is addictive. It is being part of the community I suppose and yes I dont make many comments with regard to swinging. I will think about that maybe over next couple of weeks. My comments may however just be challenging as to how much swinging is actually taking place to how much SH is about single people having sex with single people and wanting to openly publish that on a site. But I am happy to ask controversial questions to start debate any time around the actual topic of swinging.
Corriex

18 Dec 2004

I have been here a while and seen quite a few things !!
( from a distance ) If you know what I mean !! rolleyes

I do not tend to start many threads, in fact I think I may have only started a couple, ever.
However, I used to enjoy contributing. :grin:
At the moment, I stress that this is my opinion only, there seems to be nothing to contribute to !! blink

So I suppose I agree, well maybe, sort of, I think, mmmm not sure ?? :doh:
This quote may say it better for me :-
There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse!
As I have often found in travelling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position, and be bruised in a new place.
~Washington Irving
Dan wink

P.S. I hope this thread does not turn into an '' Ooooh I remember when etc. etc. '' innocent

18 Dec 2004

Inspired by Jon_TJ?? - is that a good thing wink

I don't know whether I am pleased to have been lumbered as the inspiration for this thread or not, but I whole heartedly agree with the comments made by Misschief, KitKat, Ice Pie, Calista, foxylady 123, corriefem and westerross - saved me a lot of typing biggrin

:wink:
There are too many inane posts, with no substance or nothiing to contribute to the site, I doubt anybody could argue against that, and not just in the cafe - read the Dogging forum for example, the "We'll meet again .........." thread and then look at the dogging forum header

Quote by Forum Header
Dogging
Posts about dogging go here. Arrange dogging meets, and discuss dogging locations (but keep it vague!), dogging etiquette and what to look out for.

Now tell me where that post fits into that summary? 123 pages of absolute shite!
Posts should be informative, thought inspiring or have something to contribute, the Cafe is turning into the sunday sport of forums ffs, more drivel than substance.
No wonder people join, and a fortnight later are "celebrating" their 1000th post ...................
mad

18 Dec 2004

What I've found with the frivolous threads is this....
Sense of humour and the chance to flirt. :twisted:
Somehow those pm's from someone you've had a flirt with on the board are more welcome than those unsolicitored (ok, before my ad went up they were unsolicitored) pms.
There are some threads which are of no interest to me at all, but those, I simply stay away from. SH is a diverse community. So one would expect the cafe threads to be so too.

18 Dec 2004

Quote by Libra-Love
There are some threads which are of no interest to me at all, but those, I simply stay away from. SH is a diverse community. So one would expect the cafe threads to be so too.

I too tend to stay away from threads which don't interest me and for the most part I have not read any of them such as the clock thread, word association etc, but I have to say, it is bloody annoying to have to trawl though all the shite to find something worth reading about.
Usually it means going onto page two to find threads, which although maybe not got many replies are worth reading. Not having many replies to threads doesn't mean they are not interesting. On the contrary, it often seems to be that they are, but members seem to be so busy posting shite to their favourite thread that they themselves fail to read any other posts or contribute in an adult fashion rolleyes

Not every post needs to be serious or indeed about swinging, but we also don't want to be regalled with mundane personal problems, or what so and so is having for Christmas lunch etc.
This is after all a swingers site, and although I have no objection to non swingers on here at all, if the topic was only about swinging they would not be able to participate fully in the threads. Wonder if this is why so many *non topic* threads are started or kept going for so long? Non swingers chatting about stuff they can join in with?
Every now and then the chatroom members are asked to keep to topic and so it should be in here too. This is a swingers site, not the mother's union ffs confused

Tracy-Jayne

18 Dec 2004

OK - some really good points, how about if the Mods start to lock/delete threads that do not relate to swinging in some way? I know it has not been done "in the past" as I alluded to but would that improve the site for those people looking to actually swing?
If this was the case would people miss the opportunity to just generally chat? It seems to me that the popularity amongst the Mods/Regulars of the general chat threads depends on how well known the contributors are.
I would have said that to avoid the common allegations of 'cliques' and 'double-standards' the policy for Cafe threads needs to quite clear. I would say that either the Cafe becomes a place to discuss Swinging, Sex and similar issues exclusively or it stays as a free for all.
If it is going to be an 'On Topic' forum then off-topic threads should be locked regardless of the posters - This would include such things as Warwick's Marbles, People asking permission to go on holiday, games of ping-pong and most of the content of GFZ (The can I have a back rub and a pint type of thing)
If on the other hand it is to be free to the members in general to decide what they want to post then threads such as Word Association, "We'll meet again.." and the SH Clock have a place in that environment to enable new people to ease themselves in and also to enable people to flirt and chat.
My opinion is that if SH wants to continue to be an inclusive site and try move forward from the increased amount of "navel gazing" that has occured over the last few months, then maybe it is time to either consider some changes to the forum or for a clear statement of acceptable versus un-acceptable posts to be made.
Roger the Dragon.
(I intend to hang around either way BTW)

18 Dec 2004

This is my point, threads that are frivolous are fine so long as they have some sort of point to them! Threads that are frivolous and pointless and threads that are just to flirt, in my opinion, should go here
Not only is not interesting for anyone else other than the person(s) flirting with each other, or the fact that the mods have to trawl through it all to check it's ok, but it is also always there for future reference - if people do searches then these 'flirting' threads come up in them.
Far too many of the following scenario, which IMO should be in the chatroom or via PM
AI've got a headache/fed up/had a row/lonely sad

B: Awww you poor thing
A: Awww thanks, feel better already
B: Good now get over here
A:

B: :twisted:
A: why?
B: I'll show you why
C: Oh can I join in :twisted:
A: redface

B: :twisted:
A: What were you thinking of doing naughty man?
B: You will have to find out :twisted:
A: I'm sweet and innocent tho :twisted:
B: :rotflmao:
A: So what time will you be here ...........................
..................and so it goes on and on and on and on and on, page after page, thread after thread mad

- fair enough, some threads do end up like that, once they have died, they wander, most of us are guilty of it at some point.
My bugbear is the people 90% of their post count is this (why can't people take it to PM if they know it's going to happen?), the threads that get hijacked like this within the first couple of posts, so even if you did have something to contribute, it's kind of lost it's moment, or the threads that are started purely for this.
I'm not telling people what to say, how to say it etc, although it does come across like that .... I just want to ask people to think whether the post is of any interest to more than one or two people - there are over 15000 members now, some consideration for others required I think dunno

18 Dec 2004

Quote by KitKat
Mark set up this site because there was not a single site in this cyber world where swingers for free could meet to talk about what swinging really meant.
The place where we did this, was in the cafe. This was where we explored ourselves.

To this I'm inclined to say "bollocks", but only because I'm feeling argumentative and I haven't had anty caffeine since I work up.
There's been the odd post here where someone has asked something to do with sex or swinging. The terse responses they get are from the old hands whining that the poster shouldn't post such questions as they'vev been discussed to death and they should use the search feaature.
So, when all is discussed about swinging aqnd sexuality, what's left?
A room where people are not allowed to say anything at all because it's either been discussed and may not be discussed again, or it's not relevent to swinging and therefore may not be said anyway.
Perhaps my bleary morning eyes are simply unable to see sense in this argument.
dunno

18 Dec 2004

Quote by zootle
Mark set up this site because there was not a single site in this cyber world where swingers for free could meet to talk about what swinging really meant.
The place where we did this, was in the cafe. This was where we explored ourselves.

That is actually quite a good point Zootle - most serious subjects are on here somewhere and those people who have been around for months suggest that you do a search first, therefore why bother to even post anything about it when it was done to death by X, Y and Z two months ago.
Another thing to consider is that when new members post 1 line adds or ask to come to munches when they have only a handfull of posts they are told to come over to the Cafe and make some more posts before they will be considered - this has always seemed to me to encourage trivial posting - i.e. "You can't come to the next Notts munch until you have made over 100 posts"
The question still remains should any changes be made? I personally am in favour of either a split forum. I also wonder whether the 'post count feature should be removed completely.
Roger the Dragon.

18 Dec 2004

just talking about swinging and sex ?? well I do think there would not exactly be much activity after a week.....just think of the stupid but great threads.....The DaveDJ thread springs to mind where everyone dressed up as the others avatar.......yesterday the wheres WBB thread where people pretended to be on radios....I could go on....but the fact is the cafe is open to choose to post what you want about what you want....if the subject doesn't interest you, then don't post on it and don't read it.

18 Dec 2004

Quote by rogerthedragon
The question still remains should any changes be made? I personally am in favour of either a split forum. I also wonder whether the 'post count feature should be removed completely.

If I was making the decision:
1. Leave the cafe as-is.
2. Start a new forum, "Swinging Issues", strictly moderated (and seeing as this forum would have low throughput, this shouldn't be a problem).
3. Remove the post count.

18 Dec 2004

Quote by rogerthedragon
[
Another thing to consider is that when new members post 1 line adds or ask to come to munches when they have only a handfull of posts they are told to come over to the Cafe and make some more posts before they will be considered - this has always seemed to me to encourage trivial posting - i.e. "You can't come to the next Notts munch until you have made over 100 posts"
Roger the Dragon.

I don't think the amount of post count is a factor in determinging who can and cannot go to munches. I rather thought it was a question of who long you had been a member which determined it? dunno

After all, some of the new members can and have done so easily getting their post count up to over 100 in a matter of days. Surely they wouldn't be allowed to attend a munch under such circumstances? :shock:
Being a regular poster does however, make a difference. Getting yourself properly known takes time and certainly more than two days posting drivvel confused

Non topic threads certainly have their place on here, but need to remain in perspective with the rest of the site. We've all done forum flirting, but on the whole it should be done on the chatroom or in pm.
Frankly watching non swingers flirting like mad makes me laugh. If they're not going to swing, why bother flirting in the first place? Self ego massage perhaps? I can't/don't want to swing but still want people to fancy me? :dunno: rolleyes

There is more to life than sex it is true, but on the whole if you want to chat about the latest soap/hairstyle/clocks/lunch menu or train timetable, take it to pm.
That way those of us swingers and those who wish to start this lifestyle and want to talk about the various aspects of such, can do so in the place that it is intended we do so - a *swingers* forum.
Wonder how long swingers would be made welcome if we joined another site not related to sex and started to bring in our little chats about sex? :roll: :?
Can't see it going down a bundle on earth or :dry:
Tracy-Jayne

18 Dec 2004

Quote by Scandal
.but the fact is the cafe is open to choose to post what you want about what you want....if the subject doesn't interest you, then don't post on it and don't read it.

Absolutely spot on. If you don't like it ignore it.

Most people do ignore them, but it's a tad annoying to have to trawl through them all to find something worth reading rolleyes

Tracy-Jayne

18 Dec 2004

Quote by RedHot
I rather thought it was a question of who long you had been a member which determined it?

I don't think it should be join date. Someone could join and not say a word for months. Should they be invited to get togethers? No, of course not. They need to chat and get known. You surely can't expect them to do that by only discussing swinging? I don't think that's a good way to get to know someone at all. People are defined by more than that. But to be fair you did go on to say:

Quote by RedHot
Being a regular poster does however, make a difference. Getting yourself properly known takes time and certainly more than two days posting drivvel

Quote by RedHot
Frankly watching non swingers flirting like mad makes me laugh. If they're not going to swing, why bother flirting in the first place?

18 Dec 2004

Lets get a few things straightâ€¦..
I am slightly miffed at the deletion of certain threads, and what I see as over zealous moderating.
First, the word association thread was started by me, not to boost post counts (my contributions were minimal to the growth of the thread) but as a light hearted gameâ€¦ posted in what I perceive as the correct forumâ€¦ the cafÃ©, where all types of post, serious, swinging related, non related, humorous, bizarre etc can be posted. I see no justification for deleting it for these reasons.
The thread did have a large following; this can not be denied, as shown by the extraordinary large number of posts from a wide variety of contributors, new and old and it cannot be said that some of the associations were very funny, and well thought out. I see no justification for deleting it for these reasons.
To say if a thread is boring, is subjective, obviously close on 200 pages worth of contributors did not think it was boring. I see no justification for deleting it for this reason.
Forgive me if I am wrong, but when did the criteria of â€œif a thread has anything constructive and contributes to the future of the siteâ€ come into effect, looking at the range of topics currently in the cafÃ©, if this was applied then there would only be one or two threads there. I see no justification for deleting it for these reasons
As a policing / monitoring exercise I can understand that if you may need to examine each post and evaluate if it fits with your criteria, this I accept would be time restrictive (But is a Mods job - if you are so hell bent on controlling everything so tightly). So, does this mean that we can only have threads that are short, with a content that keeps the attention of the Mods before they are deleted and cast into the trash bin! That, in my opinion is not an acceptable criteria, and again I see no justification for deleting it for this reason.
There was no explanation or debate to the deletion of this thread, I find this unacceptable.
A second word association thread has been locked, why? It appears that even Mark plays the game as he has contributedâ€¦. So the site inventor is also wrong?
Jackboots have been mentioned in the â€œhas a thread been deleted between lastnight and nowâ€ thread, and yes I donâ€™t like the term, but feel they have been worn on this occasion.
I feel that a bad and wrong decision has been made and seek a full and public explanation and reinstatement of both the SH Clock and Word Association Game threads.
Frogster

18 Dec 2004

Quote by zootle
I rather thought it was a question of who long you had been a member which determined it?

Quote by RedHot
Being a regular poster does however, make a difference. Getting yourself properly known takes time and certainly more than two days posting drivvel

Quote by RedHot
Frankly watching non swingers flirting like mad makes me laugh. If they're not going to swing, why bother flirting in the first place?

Are only swingers allowed to flirt now? I must have missed a news bulletin.
In my personal experience, in real life people flirt regardless of whether they intend that flirting to lead to anything more. That's what's happening here on the forum. I don't understand why you are laughing at this at all. Besides, flirting is fun, nothing to do with ego stroking or anything.
Getting to know someone takes more than reading their about latest meal. Sure we don't want to talk about sex all the time, just most of it :grin:
Pardon me, but I thought flirting was a way of letting someone know you fancy them? :dunno: Flirting and not following through with it would appear to be teasing not flirting to me :?
As I've said, non topic is fine, within reason. This is a *swingers* site after all rolleyes

T-J
ps I've not lost any post count because I don't post to the long winded, off topic, boring to read threads :smug: :grin:

18 Dec 2004

Dare I say another example of an interesting thread, which makes the Cafe compulsive reading for me (& many others no doubt).
The way I see the Cafe is that it should be like a Munch, in that the conversation tends to be about many topics, as people get to know each other better, although some of the discourse would, admittedly, also fall into the "chatroom" category. Some people are suggesting that the Cafe should be restricted to purely "swinging" topics, but wouldn't that turn it into something more akin to an after-Munch party with the emphasis on sex.

Quote by zootle
There's been the odd post here where someone has asked something to do with sex or swinging. The terse responses they get are from the old hands whining that the poster shouldn't post such questions as they'vev been discussed to death and they should use the search feaature.
So, when all is discussed about swinging aqnd sexuality, what's left?
A room where people are not allowed to say anything at all because it's either been discussed and may not be discussed again, or it's not relevent to swinging and therefore may not be said anyway.

Couldn't have put it better myself Zootle. So the "swinging topics only" argument is, in my view, severely flawed.
However the rather inane topics are also rather boring:

Quote by MISSCHIEF
Far too many of the following scenario, which IMO should be in the chatroom or via PM
AI've got a headache/fed up/had a row/lonely
B: Awww you poor thing
A: Awww thanks, feel better already
B: Good now get over here

Now, while I have been guilty of this sort of thing, just recently I have been trying to put the flirty sort of responses in pm-form. I only once contributed to the Word Association thread, & never looked at the SH clock thread, because I tend to prefer more "meaty" topics.
Its difficult to suggest a way forward. People could be encouraged to desist from posting the sort of thing that should be in the chatroom, but they would fairly quickly go back to their old ways & this argument would continue. While I am not confident that some form of censorship would work, because then people will be pissed off when their favourite thread is locked or deleted, perhaps some form of guidelines could be published.
To asist new posters, perhaps they could be sent a standard email after registration that contains advice on posting. That way their first posts on the Forum would be more acceptable to regular posters, & there would be fewer arguments as a result.