DOGZ - The Agony Uncle & General have a laff thread !!!

29 Mar 2006

Have a problem? want to share it, get it of your chest ? Ask me for advice and i'll give it in plain old Blunt words. it might be true ! it might be crap! You never no, it might even be good advice.
But Really i'm just a nosy git biggrin

!!!!!!
Me First . My problem is there is 68 miles between me 'n' Darkfire - Boo Hoo !

29 Mar 2006

Pololady is the SH Resident Agony Aunt!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

29 Mar 2006

uncle dogz ive lost my posting boots, havent seen them jave you :shock:
whilst this state of affairs is a blessing for most lol

:lol: im worried that the bollox just isnt flowing
any suggestions confused

:

29 Mar 2006

An agony aunt AND uncle ! :shock: Wow! This could prove interesting ! innocent

:giggle: :giggle: :giggle:

29 Mar 2006

Quote by Sgt Bilko
Pololady is the SH Resident Agony Aunt!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

Great! But as stated I'm an Agony uncle ! look in the pants for the difference ! No offence like. rolleyes

29 Mar 2006

Quote by warwick
uncle dogz ive lost my posting boots, havent seen them jave you :shock:
whilst this state of affairs is a blessing for most :lol: im worried that the bollox just isnt flowing
any suggestions :

I find that a good scratch of the scrotum and a pause for thought helps. failing that, at least yer bollox wont itch ! :lol:

29 Mar 2006

Quote by Sassy-Seren
An agony aunt AND uncle ! :shock: Wow! This could prove interesting ! :giggle: :giggle: :giggle:

You never heard of B.O.G.O.F?

29 Mar 2006

Dear Agony Uncle,
Please could you explain the following :-
1. Why do fella's always leave the toilet seat up ?
2. Why dont you go to the toilet in 2's ?
3. Why dont you spend all day shopping for shoes ?
4. Why dont you understand that a woman expects you to be able to work out what she actualy means when she says something else ?
These questions have bothered me for years !! :shock:
Many thanx for your help.
Confused of SH xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

29 Mar 2006

That's it Blonde, throw him in at the deep end!

29 Mar 2006

Quote by Trapper
That's it Blonde, throw him in at the deep end!

Whats the point in being an Agony Uncle .... if you never read your post though? :giggle:
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

29 Mar 2006

:shock:

29 Mar 2006

:dry:

29 Mar 2006

29 Mar 2006

Oh now look what you've done ffs, Polo's on one now!! bolt

xxxxxx

29 Mar 2006

Quote by blonde
Dear Agony Uncle,
Please could you explain the following :-
1. Why do fella's always leave the toilet seat up ?
cos you girlies never sit on the bugger anyways, least not public ones...always trying to hover.
2. Why dont you go to the toilet in 2's ?
Go out into the garden with a friend get them to run the garden hose whilst you stand next to them. Get them to turn it off and then shake the end violently...now look down at your outfit.
3. Why dont you spend all day shopping for shoes ?
There's black, there's brown, its that simple.
4. Why dont you understand that a woman expects you to be able to work out what she actualy means when she says something else ?
We do understand it, we simply choose to ignore that as well.
These questions have bothered me for years !! :shock:
Many thanx for your help.
Confused of SH xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

29 Mar 2006

oh dear .......we all slit our wrists waiting for a reply from the agony uncle..........
lucky no one had any real problems!!!!!!!!!
biggrin

29 Mar 2006

Quote by blonde
Dear Agony Uncle,
Please could you explain the following :-
1. Why do fella's always leave the toilet seat up ?
2. Why dont you go to the toilet in 2's ?
3. Why dont you spend all day shopping for shoes ?
4. Why dont you understand that a woman expects you to be able to work out what she actualy means when she says something else ?
These questions have bothered me for years !! :shock:
Many thanx for your help.
Confused of SH xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My appology, but i do have a BULGING SACK !!!
point 1 :to give a woman something to moan about !
point 2 :because theres only room for one mans ego in those little cubicles
point 3 : cos we like to send our women to do that, so we can chat on the sh forum
point 4 :what do ya mean ?????
Hope this helps !

29 Mar 2006

Dear Agony Uncle,
Next round of questions :-
1. Why do men always say ........ I did tell you .......... even when they havent ?
2. Why do Men have to sleep after they have dinner ?
3. Why do Men have difficulty switching the kettle on for a cuppa ?
4. Why do Men call each other M8 ? (even if they dont like each other)
5. Why does watching the footie on the Tele make all men deaf ?
Many Thanx in anticipation
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

29 Mar 2006

ain't no stopping her now!!

29 Mar 2006

Quote by redpantherman
An agony aunt AND uncle ! :shock: Wow! This could prove interesting ! :giggle: :giggle: :giggle:

You never heard of B.O.G.O.F?
Does that work in here as well as Tesco ? Yay !!!!! :thrilled: :thrilled: :thrilled:

29 Mar 2006

Quote by blonde
Dear Agony Uncle,
Next round of questions :-
1. Why do men always say ........ I did tell you .......... even when they havent ?
2. Why do Men have to sleep after they have dinner ?
3. Why do Men have difficulty switching the kettle on for a cuppa ?
4. Why do Men call each other M8 ? (even if they dont like each other)
5. Why does watching the footie on the Tele make all men deaf ?
Many Thanx in anticipation
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

This Agony Uncle needs sacking ............ he is never here when you need him
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

30 Mar 2006

Quote by blonde
Dear Agony Uncle,
Next round of questions :-
1. Why do men always say ........ I did tell you .......... even when they havent ?
2. Why do Men have to sleep after they have dinner ?
3. Why do Men have difficulty switching the kettle on for a cuppa ?
4. Why do Men call each other M8 ? (even if they dont like each other)
5. Why does watching the footie on the Tele make all men deaf ?
Many Thanx in anticipation
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I do have to work ya know !!!!
Answer to point 1: Its just women don't listen, but you'll get used to it
Point 2: There not really asleep, its just closing yer eyes
to ease the pain of yer cooking
point 3: Tell him the footballs about to start, he'll soon learn to switch it on then!
Point 4; its like asking them "Does my bum looks big in this?"
point 5: See point 3. So you'll put the kettle on !
hope this helps

30 Mar 2006

Quote by blonde
Dear Agony Uncle,
Next round of questions :-...

ffs :fuckinghell: blonde didn't you hear wot the man said!!!

Quote by Dogz
... i do have a BULGING SACK !!!

Dogz needs some Steak and Beer before he comes back for a second innings :doh:

30 Mar 2006

Quote by Sassy-Seren
An agony aunt AND uncle ! :shock: Wow! This could prove interesting ! :giggle: :giggle: :giggle:

You never heard of B.O.G.O.F?
Does that work in here as well as Tesco ? Yay !!!!! :thrilled: :thrilled: :thrilled:
Its all good as long as you know which isle the steak & beers are :giggle:
Join the 'BEER AND STEAK' Campaign Now !!! :small-print:

30 Mar 2006

Quote by Dogz
Have a problem? want to share it, get it of your chest ? Ask me for advice and i'll give it in plain old Blunt words. it might be true ! it might be crap! You never no, it might even be good advice.
But Really i'm just a nosy git !!!!!!
Me First . My problem is there is 68 miles between me 'n' Darkfire - Boo Hoo !

Think you've answered your own question in another thread. 68 miles between you & Darkfire?
You say your a biker & a train driver
Isn't that the answer dunno

Good luck

30 Mar 2006

Quote by hisandhers

Me First . My problem is there is 68 miles between me 'n' Darkfire - Boo Hoo !

Think you've answered your own question in another thread. 68 miles between you & Darkfire?
You say your a biker & a train driver
Isn't that the answer dunno

Good luck
:giggle: Well spotted Hers passionkiss

he's shy

, or scared..... or CHICKEN :lol: :lol:

30 Mar 2006

Hello Mr Agony Uncle
Tonights questions :-
1. Why do mens ears grow hair when it starts to fall outta their heads ?
2. Why do men snore?
3. Why dont men buy wallets to match their shoes ?
4. Why dont all men shave the long 'orrible hairs on their legs ?
5. Why dont more men drink Martini and lemonade ?
Thanx again in anticipation
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

30 Mar 2006

Quote by blonde
Hello Mr Agony Uncle
Tonights questions :-
1. Why do mens ears grow hair when it starts to fall outta their heads ?
A: The hair is not falling out its growing inwards hence the ear problem.
2. Why do men snore?
A: To keep you awake and alert in case of burglary or fire.
3. Why dont men buy wallets to match their shoes ?
A: Dog shit coated wallets can be a problem at the checkout.
4. Why dont all men shave the long 'orrible hairs on their legs ?
A: Why dont all Woman shave the long orrible hairs on thie legs :
5. Why dont more men drink Martini and lemonade ?
A: Are you buying? then I will have the Martini and lemonade. If its free we drink anything when were paying we are picky.
Thanx again in anticipation
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thought I would lend Dogz A helping hand whilst he eats his steak.
Mr Tweeky

30 Mar 2006

Mr Tweeky ............. I am getting to like you :giggle:
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx