Quote by NLondonJohn
Very Pointless Information:
This post should have taken my daily average to a record-breaking 0.1 for the first time in over 2 years!
WRONG!!
:? :? 
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Total posts: 64
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From the Office of Pointless Information
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Master of Sex
Perhaps if I give it a kick ........................
Pointless Information - one of my favorite topics
I just knew there was a reason why I joined SH
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Did you know male and female rats may have sex twenty times a day - not as bad as a lion though, they can do it 50 times a day
"Formicophilia" is the fetish for having small insects crawl on your genitals. No honest love, it was just a stray pube
"Ithyphallophobia" is a morbid fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis, bloody hell, dont even want to go there with that one.
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool - but only in tropical fish stores.
dashing off for cod and chips now - its only a 600 mile round trip - ah bugger no cod - ok lets go for angel fish and chips
Each day, there are over 120 million sexual intercourse taking place all over the world - ooh I can account for % of that (taken over a year)
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes, but he never gets to look up into the sky and do the "oh god that was good"
I just knew there was a reason why I joined SH
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Did you know male and female rats may have sex twenty times a day - not as bad as a lion though, they can do it 50 times a day
"Formicophilia" is the fetish for having small insects crawl on your genitals. No honest love, it was just a stray pube
"Ithyphallophobia" is a morbid fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis, bloody hell, dont even want to go there with that one.
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool - but only in tropical fish stores.
dashing off for cod and chips now - its only a 600 mile round trip - ah bugger no cod - ok lets go for angel fish and chipsEach day, there are over 120 million sexual intercourse taking place all over the world - ooh I can account for % of that (taken over a year)
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes, but he never gets to look up into the sky and do the "oh god that was good"
Sexpert
Quote by dambuster
Revenge time, take this ya git :twisted: ............... did you know an aircraft carrier does 6 inches to the gallon?
-)
Hello Missy. Where've you been?
So - fancy a gallon then??
You just knew someone would have to - didn't ya
And if it was a few hundred years ago it would have been a galleon... (groan).
Here's mine:
Introverts are better lickers because they produce more saliva
Thanks for that information breezer, I thought there must be a reason why my ex. said I was a great licker! Now I know!
Went to the doctor today, and said "Doctor, I think I'm schizophrenic, do you think I am too?" He said, "Well, yes and no"....
So I said "Good, that makes 7 of us then".
Rick
Went to the doctor today, and said "Doctor, I think I'm schizophrenic, do you think I am too?" He said, "Well, yes and no"....
So I said "Good, that makes 7 of us then".
Rick
Here's some REALLY useless information......
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. Just say no!
If you shouted for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
Did you know you share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world?
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE. :twisted:
If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
In Chicago, it is illegal to go fishing in your pyjamas.
In Indonesia, the penalty if caught masturbating is decapitation..... remind me never to visit Indonesia
Mr CC
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. Just say no!
If you shouted for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
Did you know you share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world?
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE. :twisted:
If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
In Chicago, it is illegal to go fishing in your pyjamas.
In Indonesia, the penalty if caught masturbating is decapitation..... remind me never to visit Indonesia
Mr CC
Sex God
Polar Bears are all left handed......or is that left pawed?....anyways if one confronts you down the high street, keep an eye for a swipe from it's left paw first, it might just give you the edge!
Sex God
Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.
Quote by curious_catz
Here's some REALLY useless information......
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
...
If you shouted for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
...
Mr CC
A nuclear bomb has megamegamegajoules of energy, whilst a cup of coffee considerably less. My estimate is that, rather than shouting for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you should fart for about 20 minutes in the general direction of your coffee cup to heat it up. **
Of course, if you wish to vaporise the coffee, several million other beverages, their drinkers and the buildings in which they are partaking the (presumably cold) drink, then a 6-plus year fart is obviously the answer! :P
** One advantage of this is that no-one else will steal your hot drink....
Quote by Mac69
Here's some REALLY useless information......
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
...
If you shouted for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
...
Mr CC
A nuclear bomb has megamegamegajoules of energy, whilst a cup of coffee considerably less. My estimate is that, rather than shouting for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you should fart for about 20 minutes in the general direction of your coffee cup to heat it up. **
Of course, if you wish to vaporise the coffee, several million other beverages, their drinkers and the buildings in which they are partaking the (presumably cold) drink, then a 6-plus year fart is obviously the answer! :P
** One advantage of this is that no-one else will steal your hot drink....
The only problems with using farts to warm your coffee that I can see are;
1. It would probably smell and taste a bit "unusual".
2. Farts contain methane therefore igniting the required quantity needed to warm your coffee would probably result not only in the total obliteration of the cup, your house wouldn't look too good either.
It's probably worth saying that this is a hypothetical situation and if any idiots have accidentally stumbled across this site and read this thread, do not attempt to use farts/methane to reduce your expenditure on gas or electricity usage as SH cannot be held accountable for any fires, explosions, maimings or bad smells resulting from these methods. :lol:
Mr CC
Quote by curious_catz
Here's some REALLY useless information......
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
...
If you shouted for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
...
Mr CC
A nuclear bomb has megamegamegajoules of energy, whilst a cup of coffee considerably less. My estimate is that, rather than shouting for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you should fart for about 20 minutes in the general direction of your coffee cup to heat it up. **
Of course, if you wish to vaporise the coffee, several million other beverages, their drinkers and the buildings in which they are partaking the (presumably cold) drink, then a 6-plus year fart is obviously the answer! :P
** One advantage of this is that no-one else will steal your hot drink....
The only problems with using farts to warm your coffee that I can see are;
1. It would probably smell and taste a bit "unusual".
2. Farts contain methane therefore igniting the required quantity needed to warm your coffee would probably result not only in the total obliteration of the cup, your house wouldn't look too good either.
It's probably worth saying that this is a hypothetical situation and if any idiots have accidentally stumbled across this site and read this thread, do not attempt to use farts/methane to reduce your expenditure on gas or electricity usage as SH cannot be held accountable for any fires, explosions, maimings or bad smells resulting from these methods. :lol:
Mr CC
opppsssss read that warning a little tooooooooo late i think :shock:
Quote by Mac69
Here's some REALLY useless information......
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
...
If you shouted for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
...
Mr CC
A nuclear bomb has megamegamegajoules of energy, whilst a cup of coffee considerably less. My estimate is that, rather than shouting for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you should fart for about 20 minutes in the general direction of your coffee cup to heat it up. **
Of course, if you wish to vaporise the coffee, several million other beverages, their drinkers and the buildings in which they are partaking the (presumably cold) drink, then a 6-plus year fart is obviously the answer! :P
** One advantage of this is that no-one else will steal your hot drink....
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
Sex God
Quote by Mac69
Here's some REALLY useless information......
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
...
If you shouted for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
...
Mr CC
A nuclear bomb has megamegamegajoules of energy, whilst a cup of coffee considerably less. My estimate is that, rather than shouting for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you should fart for about 20 minutes in the general direction of your coffee cup to heat it up. **
Of course, if you wish to vaporise the coffee, several million other beverages, their drinkers and the buildings in which they are partaking the (presumably cold) drink, then a 6-plus year fart is obviously the answer! :P
** One advantage of this is that no-one else will steal your hot drink....
After a 6 year fart - it'd be 'what drink?' not 'hot drink'. Mind you, by about year 3 some entrepreneur would patent a device to distill the fart and it would be drinks all 'round :cheers:
Quote by Happy Cats
Or this one that I inflicted on somebody the other day -
If the car had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce today would cost £100, get a million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside
No fear, this is my revenge ...
Apparently female cats yowl when shagging cos the male's penis is barbed so it hurts a tad on withdrawal.
Ostriches don't bury their heads in the sand.
Spinach has no more iron in it than any other vegetable. Stick that up yer bum, Popeye!
Quote by curious_catz
In Indonesia, the penalty if caught masturbating is decapitation..... remind me never to visit Indonesia
Which head do they cut off though? :lol:
Here's my contribution.....
Welsh is one of the oldest languages in Europe and has direct links to Sanskrit
There are approximately ten million bricks in the Empire State Building.
If Bart Simpson were a real boy, he'd be 26 years old this year
Two hundred and twenty six soldiers lost their lives way back in 1850 when they crossed a suspension bridge that spanned the Maine at Angers, France. It turns out that they were all marching in step and had caused an increased resonance (vibration) to the bridge. Ever since, troops are ordered to rout step (march out of step) when crossing a bridge
Anti-modem laws restrict Internet access in the country of Burma. Illegal possession of a modem can lead to a prison term. (Better not try an SH Burma then)
Between 25% to 33% of the population sneeze when they are exposed to light.
Men have more blood than women. Men have 1.5 gallons for men versus gallons for women.Hummm, wonder why that is
Casanova
Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. It is 10 times more effective than valium.
Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
"Venus observa" is the technical term for the "missionary position."
The word "fuck" is actually an acronym. It dates back to the days, when England was severely under-populated due to the combination of fire/war/plague, and the King issued an official order to... "Fornicate Under Command of the King" to replenish the population.
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. (I thought I was the only one to see that video)
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. He had merely been listening to his walkman.
Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letterbomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. He opened it and it blew up in his face.
Chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers who discovered this anomaly found other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.
When you breathe, you inspire. When you don’t breathe, you expire.
Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten
The world record for standard sized marbles in a single nostril, is 8
Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
"Venus observa" is the technical term for the "missionary position."
The word "fuck" is actually an acronym. It dates back to the days, when England was severely under-populated due to the combination of fire/war/plague, and the King issued an official order to... "Fornicate Under Command of the King" to replenish the population.
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. (I thought I was the only one to see that video)
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. He had merely been listening to his walkman.
Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letterbomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. He opened it and it blew up in his face.
Chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers who discovered this anomaly found other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.
When you breathe, you inspire. When you don’t breathe, you expire.
Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten
The world record for standard sized marbles in a single nostril, is 8
Sex God
Another useless fact.....A ducks quack cannot produce an echo....
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Another useless fact.....A ducks quack cannot produce an echo....
but they make a fuckin mess of the kitchen floor when they sneek in while waiting for their sausages to be cooked
:shock: :shock:
:loon: :loon: :loon: :loon: :loon:use to have two ducks sarge.
call me a nutter will ya!!
everyone knows that ducks love sausages ..............................dont they :?
x daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave x
Sex God
Quote by essexlady
.....
and woman say FINE to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
No - women use FINE to end an arguement when they know they are wrong but you need to shut up if you want any sex for the next month! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Roger the Dragon
