OK... opens doors and lets in the queue - mind you NOT up for doing any tidying up or clearing up - that's the boys' job.
Kate will be along late to tidy up the posts and shuffle out the dropping (oops, almost wrote droopings!!) from last weekend.
THANKS KATE
Behave now boys.
*winces at the odour, at the mess and at the decor - can see better electric sockets in photo ads section*
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
GFZ - Bedrock Bedlam
last reply
67 replies
4.9k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Yipeee. Oh !! how I need a beer.
Mmmmmm, smells nice in here this week. Has Alex nipped back with some new American air freshener?? Aaaw, look. The Pizza is asleep in the corner (Wonder if Jags put him there??). Oh my creation from last week is taking shape now. Starting to grow a bit of fur. Soon be playing with the Pizza. Wonder if they'll breed and have baby carrot flavoured pizzas??
Me thinks it will be very quiet in here this weekend. May have to dig out Gman's Solittaire again.
Opens a beer, turns T.V. on (!!?) mannually, sits down, puts feet up and relaxes wondering about the Banana Conspiricy
Mmmmmm, smells nice in here this week. Has Alex nipped back with some new American air freshener?? Aaaw, look. The Pizza is asleep in the corner (Wonder if Jags put him there??). Oh my creation from last week is taking shape now. Starting to grow a bit of fur. Soon be playing with the Pizza. Wonder if they'll breed and have baby carrot flavoured pizzas??
Me thinks it will be very quiet in here this weekend. May have to dig out Gman's Solittaire again.
Opens a beer, turns T.V. on (!!?) mannually, sits down, puts feet up and relaxes wondering about the Banana Conspiricy
Yes, it could be a cold lonely place this weekend cos all the fun is happening elsewhere! And we don't want your smelly socks (oops, almost wrote 'cocks' there!!) or your half eaten vomit. Try mixing it with mashed banana this weekend, should taste better second time around after it's had a chance to mature.
Love is all around - everywhere you go.
x xx x
Love is all around - everywhere you go.
x xx x
Sex God
Never fear, Blue will still be here to keep all those nutters at bay :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Excellent news Blue (though sorry not to be meeting you). Here's the remote for the appliances - and here's the remote for the men.
:rude: Push 'on' to make them shift their feet off the stool
:rude: Push 'left' to empty the GFZ for fumigation purposes
:rude: Push 'right' to make them clean up the mess themselves
:rude: Push 'horizontal hold' for a bout of unexpected but necessary shagging with you on top
:rude: Push 'vertical hold' to make them do all the sexual work
:rude: Push 'contrast' to change the horizontal hold male for another one cos the first one is shagged out
:rude: Push 'mute' for when the footie is on
:rude: Push 'brightness' to open the curtains and blinds
:rude: Push 'channel change' to select a different GFZ
:rude: Push 'off' to put them into a hypnotic and obedient mode
:lol:
:rude: Push 'on' to make them shift their feet off the stool
:rude: Push 'left' to empty the GFZ for fumigation purposes
:rude: Push 'right' to make them clean up the mess themselves
:rude: Push 'horizontal hold' for a bout of unexpected but necessary shagging with you on top
:rude: Push 'vertical hold' to make them do all the sexual work
:rude: Push 'contrast' to change the horizontal hold male for another one cos the first one is shagged out
:rude: Push 'mute' for when the footie is on
:rude: Push 'brightness' to open the curtains and blinds
:rude: Push 'channel change' to select a different GFZ
:rude: Push 'off' to put them into a hypnotic and obedient mode
:lol: 
Sex God
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:It was worth sticking my head round the door just for that alone!
All packed and ready to go!!! :happy:
A man is lying in bed in hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth.
A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.
"Nurse" , he mumbles from behind his mask, "are my testicles black"?
Embarassed, the young nurse replies "I dont know", I'm only here to wash your hands and feet".
He sruggles again to ask, "nurse are my testicles black?"
Finally, she pulls back the covers,raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other and takes a close look and, and says,"There's nothing wrong with them!"
Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and says,"That was very nice but, are..my...test...results...back?"
A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.
"Nurse" , he mumbles from behind his mask, "are my testicles black"?
Embarassed, the young nurse replies "I dont know", I'm only here to wash your hands and feet".
He sruggles again to ask, "nurse are my testicles black?"
Finally, she pulls back the covers,raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other and takes a close look and, and says,"There's nothing wrong with them!"
Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and says,"That was very nice but, are..my...test...results...back?"
Thank God Kit is back..
He has been so lonely he has pm'ed everyone 23 times EACH, posted 372 messages in the forum in a week, gone through the entire MSN Messenger hit list and chatted to them all til 3 in the morning, the house resembles the GFZ and he needs feeding, a bath and a new keyboard......
Oh and the phone bill and mobile bill will be a bit high as well......
He did say he rang you once though!
Fred
He has been so lonely he has pm'ed everyone 23 times EACH, posted 372 messages in the forum in a week, gone through the entire MSN Messenger hit list and chatted to them all til 3 in the morning, the house resembles the GFZ and he needs feeding, a bath and a new keyboard......
Oh and the phone bill and mobile bill will be a bit high as well......
He did say he rang you once though!
Fred
Sex God
Ah, bugger. I thought I was going to be left alone here all weekend. I was in the mood for a bit of redecoration. I have Plans for this place.
But since Blue is going to be here too, that will have to wait. I can't stand having someone looking over my shoulder while I'm working.
I guess we'll have to spend the weekend shagging instead. Not my first choice, but sometimes sacrifices must be made...
But since Blue is going to be here too, that will have to wait. I can't stand having someone looking over my shoulder while I'm working.
I guess we'll have to spend the weekend shagging instead. Not my first choice, but sometimes sacrifices must be made...
taps fingers on TV, kicks mouldy pizza across floor, tells it to shut up when it yelps...
Well, all dressed up and no where to go: best wellies on, new cap and clutching several bottles of Merlot. And where are all me muckers? It's like the grave in here, only fewer flowers and smells better.
yawns
Well, I was hoping to celebrate the magnificent victory against Scotland-tomorrow-but I've got that 'Marie Celeste' feeling again. Where the hell are they all! Oh well, just have to drink all these myself: tough job but somebody has to do it. Come on ferrets, get your whiskers around this...
Well, all dressed up and no where to go: best wellies on, new cap and clutching several bottles of Merlot. And where are all me muckers? It's like the grave in here, only fewer flowers and smells better.
yawns
Well, I was hoping to celebrate the magnificent victory against Scotland-tomorrow-but I've got that 'Marie Celeste' feeling again. Where the hell are they all! Oh well, just have to drink all these myself: tough job but somebody has to do it. Come on ferrets, get your whiskers around this...
Quote by KitKat:shock: I think that may be illegal use of a ferret Arti, and be be careful, ferrets tend to bite and hold on.
Come on ferrets, get your whiskers around this...
It might be a bit embarassing going to A and E with a ferret hanging off your John Thomas!
uch: lhk
Kat
: :shock: gadzooks Kat, bit of a misunderstanding there! I was inviting my little furry friends to sip a drop of this milk I happen to have in my overall pocket! My eyes are watering at the thought of the alternative. I've seen the little beggars dragging a damned big rabbit, twice their size, ripping and tearing as they go. Hell's braces! I feel queasy.
Mind you, I have had a few nips off them, usually only half hearted; they usually let go if you pinch their noses ......thinks wonder if that works on over-enthusiastic girlies?thinks again Is their such a thing as an over-enthusiastic girlie?
Arti - for gods sake dont kick the pizza again - the ferrets dragged it into misschiefs top last week when she was entertaining your dog - there was a lot of noise and snuffling and then they buggered off. 
Since then there has been a bit of squeeking coming from Misschiefs top - I think they have dropped a litter in there and have abandoned them to be reared by the pizza!!!!!!! :shock:
Now - If you know anyone who wants to recover pizzas trapped down rabbit holes I reckon those buggers will be worth a fortune - alternatively we need to retrain them to recover something else....
Ideas anyone?
BTW - As an ardent fan of Footrot Flats I think the introduction of the lifestock into the GFZ has been brilliant - I am just waiting for Arti to introdsuce us to more of his entourage!
Oh - and when the littleuns have finished with the pizza can someone throw it in the oven - we may need it later this evening.......
Fred
Since then there has been a bit of squeeking coming from Misschiefs top - I think they have dropped a litter in there and have abandoned them to be reared by the pizza!!!!!!! :shock:
Now - If you know anyone who wants to recover pizzas trapped down rabbit holes I reckon those buggers will be worth a fortune - alternatively we need to retrain them to recover something else....
Ideas anyone?
BTW - As an ardent fan of Footrot Flats I think the introduction of the lifestock into the GFZ has been brilliant - I am just waiting for Arti to introdsuce us to more of his entourage!
Oh - and when the littleuns have finished with the pizza can someone throw it in the oven - we may need it later this evening.......
Fred
Alright you lot!
Which one of you slipped a chocolate flavour condom into my purse while I wasn't looking? Fess up!
You should tell a girl when you do something like that... I mean...It's about the same size as a two pound coin... I only tried to pay for a Big Issue with it! The poor homeless wee chappie didn't know where to look. Not even paint stripper makes you go that red.
Not funny!! V.V. Not funny!!!
Which one of you slipped a chocolate flavour condom into my purse while I wasn't looking? Fess up!
You should tell a girl when you do something like that... I mean...It's about the same size as a two pound coin... I only tried to pay for a Big Issue with it! The poor homeless wee chappie didn't know where to look. Not even paint stripper makes you go that red.
Not funny!! V.V. Not funny!!!
I have to say Heather - I have no idea who ACTUALLY did it - BUT......
Will and Kat were in here yesterday playing around and writing party games for the weekend..... They had lots of toys and gags with them - I can only say that with some authority because Arti had to pull on a cable he found sticking out of one of the ferrets mouths when the ferret started buzzing.
It turned out the poor ferret had swallowed a vibrating love egg and the other ferret managed to turn it on..... :shock: :shock:
It looked very queasy for a few hours I can tell you.... but once it recovered it kept trying to get the female ferret to eat it! :twisted:
If they are innocent of course they will respond immediately and deny what I have said and try and extract themselves from the sticky stuff!.. :sticky:
If you don't hear from them by 6PM then I would only be able to draw one conclusion from it...........
As ever I always try to be helpful - you know me hun!
Fred
Will and Kat were in here yesterday playing around and writing party games for the weekend..... They had lots of toys and gags with them - I can only say that with some authority because Arti had to pull on a cable he found sticking out of one of the ferrets mouths when the ferret started buzzing.
It turned out the poor ferret had swallowed a vibrating love egg and the other ferret managed to turn it on..... :shock: :shock:
It looked very queasy for a few hours I can tell you.... but once it recovered it kept trying to get the female ferret to eat it! :twisted:
If they are innocent of course they will respond immediately and deny what I have said and try and extract themselves from the sticky stuff!.. :sticky:
If you don't hear from them by 6PM then I would only be able to draw one conclusion from it...........
As ever I always try to be helpful - you know me hun!
Fred
Fred,
Listen in : this is the season that ferretrs beget their young and it's quite a difficult time; they are notoriously difficult to breed, mainly because of an illness which we ignorant folk call 'The sweats' in which the young post a high temerature and die. Nowthen Misschief, they have obviously chosen your cleavage as the place they intend to reproduce, so, listen in. DON'T remove any clothing without consulting me. Indeed, i wish to be there when you loosen your top, in order to check theat the environment is right for my little babies. I may well have to investigate your upper regions-please don't think this is me being mucky, it is only forthe sake of my babies. It may well take some time, and I ght have to 'ferret' around a bit in order to satisfy myself that all is well. I hope you understand. Please could you let me know when it is convenient for me to come and inspect your cleavage as to its suitability to host my little ferrets.
Listen in : this is the season that ferretrs beget their young and it's quite a difficult time; they are notoriously difficult to breed, mainly because of an illness which we ignorant folk call 'The sweats' in which the young post a high temerature and die. Nowthen Misschief, they have obviously chosen your cleavage as the place they intend to reproduce, so, listen in. DON'T remove any clothing without consulting me. Indeed, i wish to be there when you loosen your top, in order to check theat the environment is right for my little babies. I may well have to investigate your upper regions-please don't think this is me being mucky, it is only forthe sake of my babies. It may well take some time, and I ght have to 'ferret' around a bit in order to satisfy myself that all is well. I hope you understand. Please could you let me know when it is convenient for me to come and inspect your cleavage as to its suitability to host my little ferrets.
Quote by BlueEyes
Hmmm, there's something strange going on....
No Fred and Wilma, no Jags, no Kit and Kat, no Will, no Sappho... in fact, there are rather a lot of people missing from the GFZ tonight.
I may be paranoid but I reckon there's a party going on somewhere!!! :twisted:
Lucky sods!!!!!!
Yep, looks like there's a party going on....thinks, my invite must have been lost in the post
Am i jealous? Bet your life I am!! But good look to you all , I'll just enjoy the peace and quiet that is the GFZ. My only regret is that I can'y brag about the magnificent English victory at Murray feld today. Sorry,Jags, you were outclased. QED.
Swing Low, Sweet chariot........
Quote by artificer
My only regret is that I can'y brag about the magnificent English victory at Murray feld today. Sorry,Jags, you were outclased. QED.
Swing Low, Sweet chariot........
*turns green*
You obviously don't know about my incredible hulk alter ego do you, arti???
:taz:
Obviously, a punishment is in order.... :giggle:
Carpy, sit down in that corner and behave....
I'm taking over Jags duties defending the great country that is Scotland whilst she is otherwise engaged (oh, why did I have to break my ankle???)
Right, now you two are both settled, can one of you bring me some wine, and the other one can bring me strawberries.
Has anyone seen the remote btw??????
I'm taking over Jags duties defending the great country that is Scotland whilst she is otherwise engaged (oh, why did I have to break my ankle???)
Right, now you two are both settled, can one of you bring me some wine, and the other one can bring me strawberries.
Has anyone seen the remote btw??????
I have in my hand a piece of paper......
Ooops, no, sorry, that speech has been done before, hasn't it ?
I have the 15 tracks that will be on the SH CD very soon - maybe even before the weekend is out !!!
{Carpathian waves hastily scribbled list, just out of reading range from the others}
Ooops, no, sorry, that speech has been done before, hasn't it ?
I have the 15 tracks that will be on the SH CD very soon - maybe even before the weekend is out !!!
{Carpathian waves hastily scribbled list, just out of reading range from the others}
