Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login

Gretchen, Chocolate Sauce, and a VERY loaded shotgun!

last reply
91 replies
5.4k views
0 watchers
0 likes

Well, another weekend in here. Beer is in the fridge, sofas are on the floor, telly is in front of you, and I think Jags still has the remote control somewhere on her, so if someone could conduct a strip search of her as soon as she comes in.
lhk
Kat
Afternoon Kat!
Oh, is the sofa free? Thank Crunchie it's Friday! You have a better view of the garden from your window - I see Will and Gman are still at. Ah, bless!
How are we doing for tonic? I expect the other girls will be along soon.
Sappho xxx
Kat
I've just popped in to apologise for my appalling behaviour in here last week. So 've brough a bottle of Glenfiddich and baked a big gooey chocolate cake.
Can I plump up your cushions for you? Here - have this footstool.
I've just been out to Dixons to buy a spare remote - where shall I put it?
OK - I'll sneak out now - but shhhhhh! don't tell the girls about this.
God I need a beer!!!!
Grabs a bottle from the fridge, turns T.V. on manually then sinks into nearest sofa next to the furry pizza. Aaaaaah!! This is the life.
Makes mental note: Must frisk Jags when she comes in. It's a tough job but someone has to do it lol :lol:
Quote by KitKat
For boys only
Jags still has the remote control somewhere on her, so if someone could conduct a strip search of her as soon as she comes in.
lhk
Kat

sounds like a job for a professional like what I is.... Jags... if you please come into this room....Thank you...
( and I thought I had finished work for the weekend.... but hey this is so much betyter than work)
Gmanxxx
Sarge/Gman - did you not listen? - Kat has a spare remote! So you can watch TV while you wait for Jags.
Now I'm smiling smile - I just took the How Hot is Your Love Life Test! And the results... confused:
Your Sex Life Is - Sizzling redface
For you, sex is an exciting adventure - all about passion passionkiss and mutual satisfaction. There may be no place you would rather be than wrapped in a tight embrace. You know how to please your man and you clearly communicate your sexual needs and wants to him :small-print: . And while you don't need experimentation to make your love life hot, you like to try new things 69position , especially when you're feeling bored with your usual routine. Many women dream of having your energy, spontaneity and lack of inhibition:censored: . What's your secret? :gagged:

I think there might be room for improvement though :jagsatwork: ! It only sizzles when I get it!
Sappho xxx
afternoon all, I took the liberty of picking up some pizzas on the way in, as the girlie squad let us down big style last week mad
Puts feet up onto table, lies back, and opens bottle of beer....cheers
:cheers:
Quote by Sappho
Your Sex Life Is - Sizzling

Hmmmm sizzling - are we back to the bacon and eggs in your lap?
SAPPHO! WTF are you doing in here, you are supposed to be in the dream thread having sex on the couch with Fred and I
And if you are in here .......... whose nipples am I nibbling??? :confused:
lhk
Kat
Quote by Alexandra
Kat
I've just popped in to apologise for my appalling behaviour in here last week. So 've brough a bottle of Glenfiddich and baked a big gooey chocolate cake.
Can I plump up your cushions for you? Here - have this footstool.
I've just been out to Dixons to buy a spare remote - where shall I put it?
OK - I'll sneak out now - but shhhhhh! don't tell the girls about this.

Well I won't tell if you don't Alex. wink
Nice cake hun... I don't mean to sound surprised, just grateful! rolleyes
Hmmmmmm? - no sorry - don't have plates in here - that is why we bought you girlies a new hoover - and they look so untidy when stacked all over the place when dirty....
We do have some standards you know.... lol
Anyone fancy a slice of this pizza coz it is starting to annoy me - taking up a whole space on the sofa it is.... No? Alex - be a darling and throw this in the corner will you...
So what we gonna discuss this weekend. Kat me and Brumlad have been talking firewalls - whose got the biggest and fastest and all that baloney....... Don't laugh when Kat tells you what he has please - we really upset him earlier...
Fred
Quote by brumlad
Puts feet up onto table, lies back, and opens bottle of beer....cheers

I am confused....
The beer should be open when it is handed to you Brumlad. I would complain to Kat about the training standards again...
OI! I have been here 10 mins and still not got a beer in my hand!
FFS!
Call this 4 star Kat?
Fred, you're right, I think we need to remind the ordilies of their duties :jagsatwork: :small-print: I've just calculated I've lost 3 sips of drinking time wasting my time opening the bottle myself.
Girlies, RTFM !
Quote by Fred
Alex - be a darling and throw this in the corner will you...

Yes dear!
Now - before I go - how are the beer stocks - I just have time to nip down to the offie!
:jagsatwork:
Now boys...remember your behaviour, courtesy and respect at all times!
Now SHOVE over on that couch and make room for me - afternoon telly is such a treat. Supermarket sweep is it???? Or the Golden Shot????
Got the gin, don't need the tonic. Furry pizza??? No thanks, you can have it Fred cos you need all the antibiotics you can get from what I've heard!
:cheers: passionkiss sillyassionkiss:
Quote by KitKat
And if you are in here .......... whose nipples am I nibbling??? :confused:

Gerrrroooffff! that bloody hurts! - you trying to get Radio 4 or summat? confused
Where did Sappho go? rolleyes
Right Jags, up against the wall and spread them!! No, no no ................
........... face the other way!! lol I just know I'm going to regret this...
Quote by Jags
Now SHOVE over on that couch and make room for me - afternoon telly is such a treat. Supermarket sweep is it???? Or the Golden Shot

Jags, gimme that remote NOW :sparring: If you think we're having schmuck like supermarket sweep on in here you can forget it :taz:
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Right Jags, up against the wall and spread them!! No, no no ................
........... face the other way!! lol I just know I'm going to regret this...

Regrets? Life's too short to regret anything - but it would be your last concious thought!!!! :lol: :lol:
However, if you approached from the correct angle it may send me into intense spasms of pure pleasure. wink :wink:
Quote by Jags
However, if you approached from the correct angle it may send me into intense spasms of pure pleasure. wink :wink:

So that would be a right angle then!!!
Thinks: now what was I doing, searching for the remote or intense spasms of pure pleasure? Could kill two birds with one stone here. Would be a shame to waste the opportunity!
So Jags, what do we have in here? hump
Jags!!! Woooo-hoooo! passionkiss
Always a pleasure to see you my dear.
Boy, do I need this today! :beer:
Kat and Fred!! mad evil . You both owe me a beer! I was very suspicious when you buggered off yesterday. Funny how you both reappeared the instant I was otherwise occupied! Might have known that you were just waiting to get me out of the way so that you could move in on Sappho.
Never mind, you have put her in a nice mellow mood. I am a bit miffed that she kept Kit and Wilma to herself though sad . That's just plain greedy.
Kat, shove up. There's room for another one on here.
Oh Fred? Gretchen's calling you!! rotflmao
Quote by willxx69
Oh Fred? Gretchen's calling you!! rotflmao

That's red flag to a bull if ever i saw it !!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
SARGE passionkiss - you really can't multi-task when trying to create spasms of pure pleasure - I don't want the remote anywhere else except left on the table!!
WILL - sillyassionkiss: and a pleasure to please you my dear!!!
Did anyone bring Bombay Sapphire? What happened to the last bottle??
Way too early for malt Fred ... need to start on the soft stuff.
:happy: :happy:
Boys!!!!!!!!
Have you eaten all that cake yet??
Fred - you messy devil - how did you drip that chocolate sauce right down there??????
I'll just have to clean it off you - Now
HOLD STILL!!!!!!!
STOP SQUIRMING!!!!!!
If she is dressed like that I will deliberately spill the chocolate sauce
mmmmmm ALEX
Gmanxxx
Ummmmmmm... Chocolate sauce... eh? confused
Sorry - those new uniforms are sooooooo distracting! wink
No Alex, don't do that - it tickles.... redface
I have been sat here for 15 minutes without a beer and my last one had a paper doilie stuck to the bottom - what is wrong with beer rings on the coffee table anyway.
Move a bit lower Alex.. rolleyes
No - not for enjoyment - just can't see the telly over your beehive. It must be Friday - you have been to the hairdresser again! rotflmao
Oh Fred!!!!
You noticed !
None of the other lads noticed the new look!
mmmm - just a minute - There wasn't cream on the Chocolate Cake when I brought it in!
Anyway Fred - hold still - nearly finished, just those hard to reach places to finish.
then, another beer is it????
Now I am getting scared... :shock:
What IS Alex up to??????? rolleyes
She has become so compliant today - has someone drugged her - has someone made her smile today - does anyone know where all the other girlies are..... confused
This don't seem right fellas - I think the game is afoot! :?:
Oh go on then - just one more beer hun - but must stop there - need my wits about me later! wink :wink:
Sarge - sort out the watch duty rosta will you - think the girlies may be planning an early attack this weekend.
Brumlad - put this chain round alex's ankle just in case....
What IS she getting so excited about :shock: Blimey!
Fred
Fred, i've gone one better than using a chain. I've attached one of those recoil dog leads to Alex's ankle, and via a system of pulleys, when we retract the lead, Alex is pulled back to the fridge to collect BEER, and return straight back to us :grin:
Quote by FredFlintstone
Now I am getting scared... :shock:
What IS Alex up to??????? rolleyes
She has become so compliant today - has someone drugged her - has someone made her smile today - Fred

Fred it is obviously due to the gentle training that I gave her last weekend about which you and Kat got so upset .... she clearly learned that good behavior is well rewarded... enjoy!!
Gmanxxx