Hi all, Long time no post. This is probably the wrong website to post this question given the nature of the place but how often do you married couples have sex during the week? (WITH EACH OTHER :lol My wife has no idea of my membership of this place but we are averaging sex about once every 6-7 weeks - and when it happens it is naff! :shock: An even more shocking figure is when you work out that it is only 6.5 times a freaking year! OH MY GOD :x She doesn't want to know and simply won't discuss it and doesn't see a problem! Just interested to know what I am missing :cry: :cry:
Sorry Macman You've shot yourself in the foot with telling us your wife has no idea you're here. How do you know that exactly? Also if you hav'nt told her that, what else hav'nt you told her? and maybe that's why she has a low sex drive. Maybe its not a low sex drive, maybe it's you! :shock: TALK to HER and you may have a chance at putting it all right. Obviously there will be things with you two that I'm not aware of but I can only answer based on the info you have chosen to give us. Also in answer to your question: EVERY NIGHT since joining these wonderful people Love Mrs Lizard
Quote by macman_uk Just interested to know what I am missing :cry: :cry:
I get a sneaky feeling that you're not going to end up in a better position than you are now by the time this post has ran its course. I think you should listen to PoloLady's sound advice. I wish you well.
Maybe its not a low sex drive, maybe it's you! icon_
Why is that always suggested! No - it is not me at all. There are such things as prudish women you know! Not all men just want what they want and on't worry about their partners. I appreciate these are given in good faith but the wrong assumptions bug me at times! My concern is, and always has been, the enjoyment of my partner.
POLO Marriage Guidance Services Communication is the foundation of any relationship and failure to communicate often a key factor in other issues seeming to be irresolvable. The situation you describe is quite a prevalent one amongst married men who join swinging sites without their partner’s knowledge. Whatever you feel the problem is – it is a secondary issue to your wife’s reluctance to talk. There lies the issue you should focus on. By refusing to discuss a situation which you are obviously not content with, your wife is demonstrating she has no interest for how you feel within the relationship. When somebody doesn’t want to talk there is a reason. Some typical reasons for the ‘shut-down’ behaviour include: • Your wife has found a new lover who does the business really good. • Your wife has a suppressed lesbian sexuality and finds just the thought of you fucking her repulsive. • You just don’t push her buttons and she is sick of trying. One good thing which you can take from any of the above reasons is – at least she is keeping quiet to avoid hurting you feelings. There are of course alternative reasons why your wife may have decided to ‘shut-down’ communication: • She has found out you are using a swinging site and thinks you are trying for a sympathy shag by telling a bunch of strangers she is crap in bed - when she can be bothered to part her legs. • A medical condition. There is only one course of action regardless of the reason – keep trying to open up the channels of communication.
Quote by PoloLady POLO Marriage Guidance Services Communication is the foundation of any relationship and failure to communicate often a key factor in other issues seeming to be irresolvable. The situation you describe is quite a prevalent one amongst married men who join swinging sites without their partner’s knowledge. Whatever you feel the problem is – it is a secondary issue to your wife’s reluctance to talk. There lies the issue you should focus on. By refusing to discuss a situation which you are obviously not content with, your wife is demonstrating she has no interest for how you feel within the relationship. When somebody doesn’t want to talk there is a reason. Some typical reasons for the ‘shut-down’ behaviour include: • Your wife has found a new lover who does the business really good. • Your wife has a suppressed lesbian sexuality and finds just the thought of you fucking her repulsive. • You just don’t push her buttons and she is sick of trying. One good thing which you can take from any of the above reasons is – at least she is keeping quiet to avoid hurting you feelings. There are of course alternative reasons why your wife may have decided to ‘shut-down’ communication: • She has found out you are using a swinging site and thinks you are trying for sympathy shag by telling a bunch of stranger she is crap in bed when she can be bothered to part her legs. • A medical condition. There is only one course of action regardless of the reason – keep trying to open up the channels of communication.
In reply to the above thread I am absolutely in agreement. I would ask you the following questions MacMan When was the last time your romanced the lady? When wast the last time you bought her a present? Have you made the effort to take her away somewhere just you and her? When was the last time you took her for a meal? "Treat a lady like a flower and she will grow and continue to be beautiful...stop nurturing her and she will droop, and before you know it she'll be gone" Be warned my man don't make the mistake most of us have made and trust me there is a poin of no return... You can either wooe her again....or you can aproach it from the point of view that there is a problem... Do you want sex or do you want her? Are you making love to the woman or are you just treating her as a dump for your frustration? What are you expecting each nite? Are you on her case to the point where she feels like you don't listen to her, hence she has stopped to all important art of communication? How does she dress that's usually a clue as to how people feel about themselves... Good luck whatever that may entail
Great guide there PoloLady - I do appreciate the time and thought you put into that. I didn't originally ask for advice but appreciated nonetheless! I am not sure what responses I should have expected from the good people here - but I certainly wasn't expecting what most have said. The original question was just an enquiry as to what the sex life is like of the married couples that frequent this site - I know it is not the best place to ask but hey, I am a member and wanted to post! Very quickly inrelation to the points you make: Why would wife want a lover when she knows there is nothing she can't get from me - apart from the obvious one about just being a different person! Suppressed lesbian to the point of thumping one in the mouth who mistook my wifes friendly chatter as a come on! When I try and push her buttons she just stops me - and yes - I know where they are! Really! As far as finding out I am using a swinging site - made me chuckle - but the reason I joined here in the first place was lack of fun at home. I do intend to keep opening up the channels of communcation. Advice and comments appreciated - but still in the dark about how often the married membes of this site have sex!
Quote by JudyTV If in doubt then try Relate, after-all we really don't need to know your sexual problems, in truth we are all too busy trying to get a
Oh Judy, you're such a bitch sometimes, I love it :twisted: macman_uk - can I ask then why you joined this particular site please and what you hoped to get from it? It looks to me that if it was 'lack of fun at home' then it should have been that you wanted... not here Do you know what swinging is?
Again I do appreciate the advice migsymalone and without knowing inside details about me and my marriage it is hard to explain - and pointless really. The points you make are valid but there is nothing there I don't attempt or wish to achieve. How many ladies do you know who go to the bother and expense of booking a surprise weekend away for an anniversary and then after spending the night in the hotel bar and returning to our room actually decline sex - even though it was approached in a sensitive and loving manner. The response I got was "Don't spoil a lovely evening...."
It is there in my profile Bloke2005. But with the forums as they used to be a large part of it was the banter and chatting that went on... and I love the swingers stories too. It is a swingers site I know - but back in the old days dogging and meet ups were my original points of interest.
Quote by macman_uk Don't spoil a lovely evening...."
OMW - you do have a point and I'm sorry for you but the answer still isn't swinging I don't think... If you can't sort it out then I'd leave here and shack up with a bloke - the blow jobs are brilliant and non-stop most of the time.... :shock: I'm on the fence with this one and understand your comments about dogging etc but again, that's different to swinging as quite often, nobody knows who the hell one another are or what their circumstances are... thats part of the attraction.... Although the child/baby seats in the back of the car are usually a dead give away :?
Quote by macman_uk Advice and comments appreciated - but still in the dark about how often the married membes of this site have sex!
Not sure what you can gain from eliciting this information to be honest. One married couple's very satisfactory 'twice a month' might be far better than another's unsatisfactory twice daily... this is all very subjective and cannot really help you... unless I'm missing something blindingly obvious here. If you find that eveyone replies and saying they are getting it far more than you then are you hoping that will give you the moral courage to say or do something positive? I feel for you - please don't misunderstand me... I was in a relationship where sex did not occur for five years... what kept us together was running a business together and a mortgage... thank goodness those days are over. PM me if you want more advice/info/chat... Best wishes
Quote by Bloke2005 Don't spoil a lovely evening...."
OMW - you do have a point and I'm sorry for you but the answer still isn't swinging I don't think... If you can't sort it out then I'd leave here and shack up with a bloke - the blow jobs are brilliant and non-stop most of the time.... :shock:
And when you fart in bed, you both find it funny! :twisted:
How many ladies do you know who go to the bother and expense of booking a surprise weekend away for an anniversary and then after spending the night in the hotel bar and returning to our room actually decline sex - even though it was approached in a sensitive and loving manner. The response I got was "Don't spoil a lovely evening...."
And what were you doing at the time macman? Did you spend the evening in the bar with her? Or did you spend it making sure that she understood that the weeked away was just so you could get laid?
Why would wife want a lover when she knows there is nothing she can't get from me - apart from the obvious one about just being a different person!
And maybe another person is giving her what she wants and that may not be just sex. Your attitude seems to be one of "If I do this, this and this, will we shag?" Have you ever considered that your wife would just be happy with you doing all the romantic stuff but without a shag at the end?
I cant ever imagine saying to Steve .......... leave me alone dont spoil a good night ...... coz it would be the highlight of the night ! I think you have more of a problem than you care to admit .......... I dont believe it is a normal or healthy thing for a couple who love each other to only have sex 6 times a year ? IMHO Maybe you dont do things she wants you to do ....... Or maybe you do things she does like at all and she cant tell you. Being honest is the starting block ........ why do you feel you have to hide that you are on here ? Would it hurt her if she found out ? If the answer to that is YES ........... then why are you still doing it ? Or is getting a quickie more important than hurting your wife ? I think the two of you need to talk Good luck Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
S'alright - I guess it is funny and happened more than once - I don't think I smell of poo... or cabbage. I guess I have a wife who doesn't like sex then eh?
Quote by macman_uk I am sorry but that just cracked me up
S'alright - I guess it is funny and happened more than once - I don't think I smell of poo... or cabbage. I guess I have a wife who doesn't like sex then eh? I guess you have a wife who doesnt like having sex with you ! For whatever reason Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My 2pennth for what it is worth. Honest talking could solve a lot of problems.......... As already said when did you last do something for her... simple things such as cook dinner, wash up, tidy up etc all these little things may help Also if you have children arrange for them to go to granny or a sleep over so you can have the house to yourselves. But get talking, you may well be suprised at what is said.
Quote by Bloke2005 OMW - you do have a point and I'm sorry for you but the answer still isn't swinging I don't think... If you can't sort it out then I'd leave here and shack up with a bloke - the blow jobs are brilliant and non-stop most of the time.... :shock: I'm on the fence with this one and understand your comments about dogging etc but again, that's different to swinging as quite often, nobody knows who the hell one another are or what their circumstances are... thats part of the attraction.... Although the child/baby seats in the back of the car are usually a dead give away :?
Believe me, I know bloke BJs are something special - I both give and receive! Obviously wife doesn't know about that either - go on you can all shout at me again! I suppose I joined SH in a moment of total fed-up ness and have really since discovered that the reality of a married man joining a couple on his own and even going out dogging is, well, basically wrong!
Quote by macman_uk OMW - you do have a point and I'm sorry for you but the answer still isn't swinging I don't think... If you can't sort it out then I'd leave here and shack up with a bloke - the blow jobs are brilliant and non-stop most of the time.... :shock: I'm on the fence with this one and understand your comments about dogging etc but again, that's different to swinging as quite often, nobody knows who the hell one another are or what their circumstances are... thats part of the attraction.... Although the child/baby seats in the back of the car are usually a dead give away :?
Believe me, I know bloke BJs are something special - I both give and receive! Obviously wife doesn't know about that either - go on you can all shout at me again! I suppose I joined SH in a moment of total fed-up ness and have really since discovered that the reality of a married man joining a couple on his own and even going out dogging is, well, basically wrong! Babe, Have you ever thought that could be a fantasy of hers ??? But you will never know if you dont talk to her ........ will you. I dont have a problem with a married guy being on here ........ If his partner knows .... without agreement it is just plain and simply cheating .......... and I think you will find that most genuine swingers are definately not cheaters coz they have no reason to be .... do they ? Like I said before .......... Good luck .......... go chat Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by macman_uk I suppose I joined SH in a moment of total fed-up ness and have really since discovered that the reality of a married man joining a couple on his own and even going out dogging is, well, basically wrong!
Quote by WibblyWobbly Not sure what you can gain from eliciting this information to be honest. One married couple's very satisfactory 'twice a month' might be far better than another's unsatisfactory twice daily... this is all very subjective and cannot really help you... unless I'm missing something blindingly obvious here. If you find that eveyone replies and saying they are getting it far more than you then are you hoping that will give you the moral courage to say or do something positive? I feel for you - please don't misunderstand me... I was in a relationship where sex did not occur for five years... what kept us together was running a business together and a mortgage... thank goodness those days are over. PM me if you want more advice/info/chat... Best wishes
Thats a nice reply wibby - and the offer is appreciated. I think it has all gotten a little deep and agony aunt-ish. I posted this in The Cafe as it is a general question and answer discussion forum - I just thought I would throw out the question for responses that is all. I didn't expect fo find any deep and meaningful answer as to why my wife doesn't like my cock inside her! :lol: My wife seems to be saying no more often than ever now and I laid in bed last night after another little tiff and wondered what it was like in other marriages. More a question for the lads down the pub than a swinging site I suppose.
Quote by byron And what were you doing at the time macman? Did you spend the evening in the bar with her? Or did you spend it making sure that she understood that the weeked away was just so you could get laid? And maybe another person is giving her what she wants and that may not be just sex. Your attitude seems to be one of "If I do this, this and this, will we shag?" Have you ever considered that your wife would just be happy with you doing all the romantic stuff but without a shag at the end?
You don't read people very well do you? Where in everything that I have said has it come across that everything I do means I want it to end in a shag, or even that it MUST end in shag? A romantic weekend away, for an anniversary, walking in the countryside, having a drink and a meal to celebrate our marraige? I don't think it was unfair of me to expect some love-making was it? Hardly an every-weekend-occurance for anyone is it? Who books a weekend away SPECIFICALLY to celebrate a wedding anniversay and says having sex will spoil it? :roll:
You don't read people very well do you? Where in everything that I have said has it come across that everything I do means I want it to end in a shag, or even that it MUST end in shag?
I get it from things like this:
A romantic weekend away, for an anniversary, walking in the countryside, having a drink and a meal to celebrate our marraige? I don't think it was unfair of me to expect some love-making was it? Hardly an every-weekend-occurance for anyone is it
The obvious problem is two competely incompatible people when it comes to sexual needs. As I have said, it was a light-hearted question but I am peeved to read that so many feel (including men) that I really am not making the effort, am not doing the things that will turn her on, am always expecting that if we go out for a meal that a shag will follow and that I have obviously not tried to speak to her about it - and all that must simply be the reason she doesn't want sex. Why? All that says to me is that most think that if I was doing all of the above she would be falling onto the bed with legs open wide every night I come home from work!
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but how often do you married couples have sex during the week? (WITH EACH OTHER :lol
:x
It looks to me that if it was 'lack of fun at home' then it should have been that you wanted... not here 
