And another one . . . . .
I may have taken something about the site, people and lifestyle for granted; and part of the reason for my sabbatical was to review some of my "ways of thinking"
Inspired by a couple of recent conversations, reminded by a couple of recent threads, I ask . . . .
Is it socially acceptable to ask somebody you've become friends with, for a shag? If only the once.
I'm thinking specifically of the situation between friends where you've possibly met at a social function, bounced off each other in the forum, by PM, Msn etc and you're at the stage of "I don't think I could/would shag her/him because we've become too much friends"
In line with the usual "rules" of asking open questions of the good folk here . . . . . .
Provided the normal conditions of manners and courtesy are applied to both question and answer, I think yes. It is okay to ask.
I think neither party should be embarrassed by either the question, or either (any) of the responses. And the outcome shouldn't impact on the friendship.
On a very personal level, I tend view the answer "I'd love to - but can't because you're too good a friend" a rather (can't think of the word) or even sometimes a 'cop out' answer used as a deflection from "No thank you, you don't 'do it' for me"
I would point out tho, that I'm talking/asking about within the site/lifestyle.
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Is it okay to ask for a shag ?
when *friendship* is already there, through site/lifestyle, I would have (personally) that the "we've become tooo friendly" answer is not necessarliy (one day I'll spel correctly) a cop-out.
I for one, might feel uncomfortable, either asking for, or being asked >I should be so lucky< for a shag, if the friendship has developed too far before any physical contact has occurred... almost as if the moment may have passed.
However... again *within the lifestyle* I wouldnt have thought anyone should be offended by the question... nor the answer.
LP
I for one, might feel uncomfortable, either asking for, or being asked >I should be so lucky< for a shag, if the friendship has developed too far before any physical contact has occurred... almost as if the moment may have passed.
However... again *within the lifestyle* I wouldnt have thought anyone should be offended by the question... nor the answer.
LP
Sex God
Quote by dambuster
And another one . . . . .
I may have taken something about the site, people and lifestyle for granted; and part of the reason for my sabbatical was to review some of my "ways of thinking"
Inspired by a couple of recent conversations, reminded by a couple of recent threads, I ask . . . .
Is it socially acceptable to ask somebody you've become friends with, for a shag? If only the once.
I'm thinking specifically of the situation between friends where you've possibly met at a social function, bounced off each other in the forum, by PM, Msn etc and you're at the stage of "I don't think I could/would shag her/him because we've become too much friends"
In line with the usual "rules" of asking open questions of the good folk here . . . . . .
Provided the normal conditions of manners and courtesy are applied to both question and answer, I think yes. It is okay to ask.
I think neither party should be embarrassed by either the question, or either (any) of the responses. And the outcome shouldn't impact on the friendship.
On a very personal level, I tend view the answer "I'd love to - but can't because you're too good a friend" a rather (can't think of the word) or even sometimes a 'cop out' answer used as a deflection from "No thank you, you don't 'do it' for me"
I would point out tho, that I'm talking/asking about within the site/lifestyle.
sorry m8 im spoken 4 :shock:
I would if I knew/sensed the person I was asking felt comfortable enough to say "no thanks". In fact I sent words to that effect in a PM at the weekend. :grin:
Personally I feel it's more of a priority in a situation like this, that the person being asked knows that saying no is ok and it wouldn't effect any friendship we may have in the future - rather than them feeling awkward or being anxious about my reaction and maybe telling me what I want to hear.
Personally I feel it's more of a priority in a situation like this, that the person being asked knows that saying no is ok and it wouldn't effect any friendship we may have in the future - rather than them feeling awkward or being anxious about my reaction and maybe telling me what I want to hear.
Quote by dambuster
And another one . . . . .
I may have taken something about the site, people and lifestyle for granted; and part of the reason for my sabbatical was to review some of my "ways of thinking"
Inspired by a couple of recent conversations, reminded by a couple of recent threads, I ask . . . .
Is it socially acceptable to ask somebody you've become friends with, for a shag? If only the once.
I'm thinking specifically of the situation between friends where you've possibly met at a social function, bounced off each other in the forum, by PM, Msn etc and you're at the stage of "I don't think I could/would shag her/him because we've become too much friends"
In line with the usual "rules" of asking open questions of the good folk here . . . . . .
Provided the normal conditions of manners and courtesy are applied to both question and answer, I think yes. It is okay to ask.
I think neither party should be embarrassed by either the question, or either (any) of the responses. And the outcome shouldn't impact on the friendship.
On a very personal level, I tend view the answer "I'd love to - but can't because you're too good a friend" a rather (can't think of the word) or even sometimes a 'cop out' answer used as a deflection from "No thank you, you don't 'do it' for me"
I would point out tho, that I'm talking/asking about within the site/lifestyle.
You sweet talker you
but not on a first date 
Sex God
It's fine and dandy to ask us for a shag, please dont feel shy or afraid to ask, just make sure you have read our profile first as a :kick: often offends.
Quote by dambuster
I'm thinking specifically of the situation between friends where you've possibly met at a social function, bounced off each other in the forum, by PM, Msn etc and you're at the stage of "I don't think I could/would shag her/him because we've become too much friends"
I have a few friends on here who i PM and some i also chat with on MSN to as friends or as someone to bounce off for help and advice.
I would probably never ask this question as much as id like to in some instances ask so as not to spoil things as they are as its took this long to be where i am and dont want to go what i would consider to be backwards.
Im a helpful guy by nature which other than one is the only reason we are in contact and dont mind at all even if nothing more happens they are friends some ive met some ive not and if i spoil things i'd hate to have to try and resolve it by PM rather than in person.
Ive said to a few on here i've met that SH is my social life at the moment and the friends (online or off) ive made so far far outwheighs losing that at the moment. Maybe thats not the best way to swing or have fun after all that what we here for but its not the end of the world if i dont have the sexual fun as there a more important things at this time.
That last paragraph was for just a few friends initially but i thought it better others knew.
Quote by goose35
I'm thinking specifically of the situation between friends where you've possibly met at a social function, bounced off each other in the forum, by PM, Msn etc and you're at the stage of "I don't think I could/would shag her/him because we've become too much friends"
I have a few friends on here who i PM and some i also chat with on MSN to as friends or as someone to bounce off for help and advice.
I would probably never ask this question as much as id like to in some instances ask so as not to spoil things as they are as its took this long to be where i am and dont want to go what i would consider to be backwards.
Im a helpful guy by nature which other than one is the only reason we are in contact and dont mind at all even if nothing more happens they are friends some ive met some ive not and if i spoil things i'd hate to have to try and resolve it by PM rather than in person.
Ive said to a few on here i've met that SH is my social life at the moment and the friends (online or off) ive made so far far outwheighs losing that at the moment. Maybe thats not the best way to swing or have fun after all that what we here for but its not the end of the world if i dont have the sexual fun as there a more important things at this time.
That last paragraph was for just a few friends initially but i thought it better others knew.
well said that man
Sexpert
In answer to the question imo its yes
Sex God
Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
I think it's perfectly acceptable to ask someone for a shag.
It's equally acceptable to say no.
And if you're too much of a friend then it won't matter will it - be just a good laff!
:thumbup:
.
Sex God
If the friendship's strong enough, it won't make any difference.
What about this:
Is there any point at which you decide that you don't want to play with long-standing playmates and just want to stay friends but without the sex? I can imagine that being more difficult.
What about this:
Is there any point at which you decide that you don't want to play with long-standing playmates and just want to stay friends but without the sex? I can imagine that being more difficult.
Quote by Freckledbird
Is there any point at which you decide that you don't want to play with long-standing playmates and just want to stay friends but without the sex? I can imagine that being more difficult.
More difficult ????
I'd say nigh on impossible. But by my way of thinking, - if it's okay to turn it on, it should be okay to turn it off. Should be. And I don't mean turning it on and off willy nilly, messing people around.
If you're very, very lucky, and the friendship is real; then yes, it can happen
:thumbup:
Casanova
umm this is a intresting one for me,as i have some swinging friends that i do think i now wouldnt be able toplay with because the friendship is now far more important to me than the sex would be.
We have spent heaps of time together within the lifestyle but proberbly 2 or 3 times more in RL for well over a year. I guess i almost kinda consider them as family,and feel that playing together now would change our relationship possibly not for the better. I know we wouldnt lose the friendship but the bond or ground rules would have changed,and so it will have changed.
Umm just read thro and not sure it makes sense but will leave it at that as i feel im going round in circles.
Nicky
We have spent heaps of time together within the lifestyle but proberbly 2 or 3 times more in RL for well over a year. I guess i almost kinda consider them as family,and feel that playing together now would change our relationship possibly not for the better. I know we wouldnt lose the friendship but the bond or ground rules would have changed,and so it will have changed.
Umm just read thro and not sure it makes sense but will leave it at that as i feel im going round in circles.
Nicky
Quote by dambuster
And another one . . . . .
I may have taken something about the site, people and lifestyle for granted; and part of the reason for my sabbatical was to review some of my "ways of thinking"
Inspired by a couple of recent conversations, reminded by a couple of recent threads, I ask . . . .
Is it socially acceptable to ask somebody you've become friends with, for a shag? If only the once.
I'm thinking specifically of the situation between friends where you've possibly met at a social function, bounced off each other in the forum, by PM, Msn etc and you're at the stage of "I don't think I could/would shag her/him because we've become too much friends"
In line with the usual "rules" of asking open questions of the good folk here . . . . . .
Provided the normal conditions of manners and courtesy are applied to both question and answer, I think yes. It is okay to ask.
I think neither party should be embarrassed by either the question, or either (any) of the responses. And the outcome shouldn't impact on the friendship.
On a very personal level, I tend view the answer "I'd love to - but can't because you're too good a friend" a rather (can't think of the word) or even sometimes a 'cop out' answer used as a deflection from "No thank you, you don't 'do it' for me"
I would point out tho, that I'm talking/asking about within the site/lifestyle.
Just ask me Dammie
Sex God
Quote by dambuster
Is it okay to ask for a shag ?
Course it is mate..............
I've even put your slippers on it for you.
Special deal for you........ £3:99 a square meter. :thumbup:
If someone asked me for a shag, whether it be on here or someone I know or even a stranger, I wouldn't be offended. At worst I'd say no.
I'd probably actually be flattered. And appreciate their upfrontness, because potentially it could waste a long period of trying to figure out if they're interested.
I'd probably actually be flattered. And appreciate their upfrontness, because potentially it could waste a long period of trying to figure out if they're interested.
Quote by essex34m
"I don't think I could/would shag her/him because we've become too much friends"
but thats the easiest way to avoid saying you would like to, its a great saying to hide behind, rather than blaming shyness lol
I dont really agree with this bit Essex - I think if someone says 'we're too friends' it usually means just that..... it could be translated as 'i'm scared of it affecting our friendship', or, 'because we're too friends I've never even thought about you in that way' or 'I'm not comfortable with this because we're platonic friends'.
Saying No and giving the friendship as a 'reason', but meaning something completely different, is kinda treading on thin ice. I would hate to think that if I say 'we're too friends' it would then be translated as a straight 'yes I'd love to' :shock: :scared:
but I do agree with this:
Quote by dambuster
And if you're too much of a friend then it won't matter will it - be just a good laff!
:thumbup:
.
because Quote by Freckledbird
If the friendship's strong enough, it won't make any difference.
:thumbup:
Quote by Freckledbird
If the friendship's strong enough, it won't make any difference.
I've just been down that road with one of my best mates but it began to develop into a relationship with deeper feelings than we should have had for each other and that's where it got dangerous. It COULD have wrecked our friendship if we weren't as close as we are. We're soulmates as well as best friends so to me, losing my best friend would have been much worse than just losing the sex.
Quote by Darkfire
"I don't think I could/would shag her/him because we've become too much friends"
but thats the easiest way to avoid saying you would like to, its a great saying to hide behind, rather than blaming shyness lol
I dont really agree with this bit Essex -I think if someone says 'we're too friends' it usually means just that..... it could be translated as 'i'm scared of it affecting our friendship', or, 'because we're too friends I've never even thought about you in that way' or 'I'm not comfortable with this because we're platonic friends'.
Saying No and giving the friendship as a 'reason', but meaning something completely different, is kinda treading on thin ice. I would hate to think that if I say 'we're too friends' would then be translated as a straight 'yes I'd love to' :shock: :scared:
but I do agree with this:
Quote by dambuster
And if you're too much of a friend then it won't matter will it - be just a good laff!
:thumbup:
.
because Quote by Freckledbird
If the friendship's strong enough, it won't make any difference.
:thumbup:
put better than how i said it, mine was the edited smartarse version, but yes, you are right
Sex God
Quote by Sassy-Seren
If the friendship's strong enough, it won't make any difference.
I've just been down that road with one of my best mates but it began to develop into a relationship with deeper feelings than we should have had for each other and that's where it got dangerous. It COULD have wrecked our friendship if we weren't as close as we are. We're soulmates as well as best friends so to me, losing my best friend would have been much worse than just losing the sex.
Sass hun why would you have necessarily lost your friend. Stormy is my best friend as well as being my husband, lover (and general dogsbody lol). The realtionship might have got better maybe?
Love
FIRE xx
Quote by firelizard
If the friendship's strong enough, it won't make any difference.
I've just been down that road with one of my best mates but it began to develop into a relationship with deeper feelings than we should have had for each other and that's where it got dangerous. It COULD have wrecked our friendship if we weren't as close as we are. We're soulmates as well as best friends so to me, losing my best friend would have been much worse than just losing the sex.
Sass hun why would you have necessarily lost your friend. Stormy is my best friend as well as being my husband, lover (and general dogsbody lol). The realtionship might have got better maybe?
Love
FIRE xx
We couldn't keep up with the physical side of things as it was getting too complicated so had to go back to just being best mates. I do miss being that close to him as it just seemed to be the icing on the cake for both of us. Given the choice we both had to make, we chose our friendship
Sex God
Quote by Sassy-Seren
If the friendship's strong enough, it won't make any difference.
I've just been down that road with one of my best mates but it began to develop into a relationship with deeper feelings than we should have had for each other and that's where it got dangerous. It COULD have wrecked our friendship if we weren't as close as we are. We're soulmates as well as best friends so to me, losing my best friend would have been much worse than just losing the sex.
Sass hun why would you have necessarily lost your friend. Stormy is my best friend as well as being my husband, lover (and general dogsbody lol). The realtionship might have got better maybe?
Love
FIRE xx
We couldn't keep up with the physical side of things as it was getting too complicated so had to go back to just being best mates. I do miss being that close to him as it just seemed to be the icing on the cake for both of us. Given the choice we both had to make, we chose our friendship
:thumbup: