And another one . . . . .
I may have taken something about the site, people and lifestyle for granted; and part of the reason for my sabbatical was to review some of my "ways of thinking"
Inspired by a couple of recent conversations, reminded by a couple of recent threads, I ask . . . .
Is it socially acceptable to ask somebody you've become friends with, for a shag? If only the once.
I'm thinking specifically of the situation between friends where you've possibly met at a social function, bounced off each other in the forum, by PM, Msn etc and you're at the stage of "I don't think I could/would shag her/him because we've become too much friends"
In line with the usual "rules" of asking open questions of the good folk here . . . . . .
Provided the normal conditions of manners and courtesy are applied to both question and answer, I think yes. It is okay to ask.
I think neither party should be embarrassed by either the question, or either (any) of the responses. And the outcome shouldn't impact on the friendship.
On a very personal level, I tend view the answer "I'd love to - but can't because you're too good a friend" a rather (can't think of the word) or even sometimes a 'cop out' answer used as a deflection from "No thank you, you don't 'do it' for me"
I would point out tho, that I'm talking/asking about within the site/lifestyle.
when *friendship* is already there, through site/lifestyle, I would have (personally) that the "we've become tooo friendly" answer is not necessarliy (one day I'll spel correctly) a cop-out.
I for one, might feel uncomfortable, either asking for, or being asked >I should be so lucky< for a shag, if the friendship has developed too far before any physical contact has occurred... almost as if the moment may have passed.
However... again *within the lifestyle* I wouldnt have thought anyone should be offended by the question... nor the answer.
LP
I would if I knew/sensed the person I was asking felt comfortable enough to say "no thanks". In fact I sent words to that effect in a PM at the weekend. :grin:
Personally I feel it's more of a priority in a situation like this, that the person being asked knows that saying no is ok and it wouldn't effect any friendship we may have in the future - rather than them feeling awkward or being anxious about my reaction and maybe telling me what I want to hear.
"I don't think I could/would shag her/him because we've become too much friends"
but thats the easiest way to avoid saying you would like to, its a great saying to hide behind, rather than blaming shyness lol
In answer to the question imo its yes
If the friendship's strong enough, it won't make any difference.
What about this:
Is there any point at which you decide that you don't want to play with long-standing playmates and just want to stay friends but without the sex? I can imagine that being more difficult.
umm this is a intresting one for me,as i have some swinging friends that i do think i now wouldnt be able toplay with because the friendship is now far more important to me than the sex would be.
We have spent heaps of time together within the lifestyle but proberbly 2 or 3 times more in RL for well over a year. I guess i almost kinda consider them as family,and feel that playing together now would change our relationship possibly not for the better. I know we wouldnt lose the friendship but the bond or ground rules would have changed,and so it will have changed.
Umm just read thro and not sure it makes sense but will leave it at that as i feel im going round in circles.
Nicky
Ah - this (the question) isn't about the actual playing, is about the acceptance (or not) of the question and response.
pmsl - Ey up stranger.
Hope you and yours are well.
See you in January ??
If someone asked me for a shag, whether it be on here or someone I know or even a stranger, I wouldn't be offended. At worst I'd say no.
I'd probably actually be flattered. And appreciate their upfrontness, because potentially it could waste a long period of trying to figure out if they're interested.
Though I'd shag him right now if he called :twisted: