After reading another’s thread I thought about whether part of belonging to a group on here is important to you.
I observed the chat rooms and forums for a while before my first posting or talking.
I did see that people seem to know others and it seems they meet at socials clubs etc.
I didn’t and have never felt the need to attach myself to a group here I came here for a purpose in mind.
I have made friends here these are people that you see regular in the same room we have a bit of banter have a laugh etc. But to be in with the in crowd has never been a place I like to be.
I like to be myself, speak to anyone and enjoy just being me speaking to whom I like when I like.
I behave here how I am in the vanilla world I don’t need a group to feel I belong because by doing that, you can end up excluding people that you would normally get on with.
I just like to be able to make my own mind up if I like someone or not, I feel in a group you are more open to view others opinions, and lose sight of your own.
This can lead to the exclusion when things get misunderstood.
I have rambled a bit hope this makes sense.
So what are your thoughts on this?
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Is part of belonging important to you?
Sex God
I have always been an outsider, but it is here that my guard comes down. Odd that as I do not really know anyone here.
To answer your question, I have never needed to be part of a group. In the past O have, I found it easier to do by job, but I have never needed to be.
I find it easy to step back, step outside the group.
Yes, I can have a laugh with a lot of people here, but I think I have a list of individual relationships. I am not apart of one group.
Travis
To answer your question, I have never needed to be part of a group. In the past O have, I found it easier to do by job, but I have never needed to be.
I find it easy to step back, step outside the group.
Yes, I can have a laugh with a lot of people here, but I think I have a list of individual relationships. I am not apart of one group.
Travis
A sense of community is no bad thing but I, as no doubt many of us, have my own reasons and motives for being here, not cunning manipulative motives I may add!
I think the whole 'swinging' experience is personal to each single individual or may form cliques/groups/clubs whatever but within those networks, however openly or concealed, you are still an individual person with individual feelings and needs.
I think the whole 'swinging' experience is personal to each single individual or may form cliques/groups/clubs whatever but within those networks, however openly or concealed, you are still an individual person with individual feelings and needs.
I've been here a fair few years and my circle of friends has changed a number of times, as new people join and others leave.
Is it important for me to belong .. that's a hard one to answer and taking into consider my own insecurities, habits and preferences, I wouldn't say it was important to belong to a group, but on the other hand in all walks of life, I am more successful when in a "group".
Belonging to such a group doesn't make me lose sight of my own opinions though and I don't suffer from the "follow the pack" thinking that others do.
As I said in the other thread, we move through life forming relationships with others whether individuals or in groups, it's human nature. The only time anyone makes an issue out of the friendship circles is usually someone who has recently joined and unsuccessfully attempted to join in on their first post! There are other instances I'm sure!
How clique or exclusive the groups appear is down to the people involved but you could say that anyone adding such things to their signature is cliquey .. I'm sure the PTP, Pussy Posse and Room XX all appear cliquey to those not in the know and they then feel they are missing out.
Is it important for me to belong .. that's a hard one to answer and taking into consider my own insecurities, habits and preferences, I wouldn't say it was important to belong to a group, but on the other hand in all walks of life, I am more successful when in a "group".
Belonging to such a group doesn't make me lose sight of my own opinions though and I don't suffer from the "follow the pack" thinking that others do.
As I said in the other thread, we move through life forming relationships with others whether individuals or in groups, it's human nature. The only time anyone makes an issue out of the friendship circles is usually someone who has recently joined and unsuccessfully attempted to join in on their first post! There are other instances I'm sure!
How clique or exclusive the groups appear is down to the people involved but you could say that anyone adding such things to their signature is cliquey .. I'm sure the PTP, Pussy Posse and Room XX all appear cliquey to those not in the know and they then feel they are missing out.
Sex God
PTP 
hwoar: cliquey .. I'm sure not, just a bunch of pervs. On the other hand pussy power, that's real. Boy is that real.
Now now Travis stop it. Yes there are friends, as with all groups of friends it take time to be excepted, and to be know in the cafe. It helps if you do not start out by putting your foot in your mouth. Thank you you know who for your gentle guidance when I first put my over size fingers to this poor embarrassed keyboard.
Back to the point. We are all liked by some all of the time, we are liked by everyone once or twice, but no one is liked by everyone all of the time.
Travis
did any of that make any sense?
hwoar: cliquey .. I'm sure not, just a bunch of pervs. On the other hand pussy power, that's real. Boy is that real. Now now Travis stop it. Yes there are friends, as with all groups of friends it take time to be excepted, and to be know in the cafe. It helps if you do not start out by putting your foot in your mouth. Thank you you know who for your gentle guidance when I first put my over size fingers to this poor embarrassed keyboard.
Back to the point. We are all liked by some all of the time, we are liked by everyone once or twice, but no one is liked by everyone all of the time.
Travis
did any of that make any sense?
Quote by
PTP
I didn't say it was cliquey ... just that it could appear to be to those not in the know ;)
When a "group" irst appears, everyone shares the joke in the post that starts it, but those posts drop through the archives and references to the group name remain and could be perceived as private jokes, exclusive clubs etc.
Sex God
Quote by Calista
PTP
I didn't say it was cliquey ... just that it could appear to be to those not in the know ;)
When a "group" irst appears, everyone shares the joke in the post that starts it, but those posts drop through the archives and references to the group name remain and could be perceived as private jokes, exclusive clubs we having an argument? Can we make up? :cry: Sorry to have perverted your post.
Quote by
PTP
I didn't say it was cliquey ... just that it could appear to be to those not in the know ;)
When a "group" irst appears, everyone shares the joke in the post that starts it, but those posts drop through the archives and references to the group name remain and could be perceived as private jokes, exclusive clubs we having an argument? Can we make up? :cry: Sorry to have perverted your post.
Awwww
I'm not sure you've taken my post the right way, I'm just expanding from my previous post .. definitely no argument ;) (perhaps I just need to add more emoticons to my post lol) 
Sex God
Never did belonging to anything very well
I am here for myself and no one else, feeling like i belong or have to belong would only take a bit of the fun away from it
Did no one ever dare to be different just because they could?
I am here for myself and no one else, feeling like i belong or have to belong would only take a bit of the fun away from it
Did no one ever dare to be different just because they could?
Mod
As an ops I tend to visit all the rooms/groups etc and they are full of friends who may have met at some time or other.
But when a new person starts chatting in the room,then it's not long till they end up being part of the group,but only if they wish to be part of it.
Of all the rooms and groups on Sh I have only met a handful of the people in them but class most of them as friends.
IMHO you get what you want from this community and nothing else.
A bit like real life actually
But when a new person starts chatting in the room,then it's not long till they end up being part of the group,but only if they wish to be part of it.
Of all the rooms and groups on Sh I have only met a handful of the people in them but class most of them as friends.
IMHO you get what you want from this community and nothing else.
A bit like real life actually
Quote by TanKinky
Never did belonging to anything very well
I am here for myself and no one else, feeling like i belong or have to belong would only take a bit of the fun away from it
Did no one ever dare to be different just because they could?
I don't need to belong, but those friends I choose, I cherish.
I feel I need to do a follow up from my orginal post.
I do feel part of a community here as most are open about what they are here for and what they want out of it etc.
But to feel a need to attend socials or clubs etc to be accepted by that group just isn't my thing.
I have no problems going into a room and just saying hi and often I do, sometimes people respond and other times I just get ignored thats life.
I normally just go off and open my own room and see who appears for a chat.
I suppose what I am saying is I would chat to anyone.
I do feel part of a community here as most are open about what they are here for and what they want out of it etc.
But to feel a need to attend socials or clubs etc to be accepted by that group just isn't my thing.
I have no problems going into a room and just saying hi and often I do, sometimes people respond and other times I just get ignored thats life.
I normally just go off and open my own room and see who appears for a chat.
I suppose what I am saying is I would chat to anyone.
Sex God
How people react/deal with how people belong or dont belong effects things to
Take a teenage me? i dared to be different my mother couldnt deal with it, because to her i wasnt following her rules i wasnt breaking her rules either i just did things differently "i wasnt a sheep" and to many people quite a loner and still am in some ways, My step father (most of the time) cherished this side of me
Take a teenage me? i dared to be different my mother couldnt deal with it, because to her i wasnt following her rules i wasnt breaking her rules either i just did things differently "i wasnt a sheep" and to many people quite a loner and still am in some ways, My step father (most of the time) cherished this side of me
Quote by winchwench
I don't need to belong, but those friends I choose, I cherish.
yeah, until the next one comes along.
What do you expect? Worlass is a fine, upstanding* member of the community. :roll:
*Last one, honest.
it is a good job that I want your body. I won't put up with this sort of abuse from anyone else.
Sex God
Were you sitting down when you wrote that Splendid? :mrgreen: 
I don't know if I feel the need to belong, I guess I just sort of do. I have loads of mates and I dare say if that makes me a part of a (dare I say it) clique then I guess that's where I am. I don't see it like that though... I'm just me.
I talk to anyone and everyone. I park my arse in a chatroom and chatter away regardless of which room it is. I think its like everything, you get out what you put in. If you sit on the sidelines then that's probably where you'll stay. I tend to jump in head first and I've never had anyone snub me or be rude when I've made the effort to join in. :mrgreen:
I realise not everyone is like me so I think people should generally do what works for them.
I've rambled again.
I don't know if I feel the need to belong, I guess I just sort of do. I have loads of mates and I dare say if that makes me a part of a (dare I say it) clique then I guess that's where I am. I don't see it like that though... I'm just me.
I talk to anyone and everyone. I park my arse in a chatroom and chatter away regardless of which room it is. I think its like everything, you get out what you put in. If you sit on the sidelines then that's probably where you'll stay. I tend to jump in head first and I've never had anyone snub me or be rude when I've made the effort to join in. :mrgreen:
I realise not everyone is like me so I think people should generally do what works for them.
I've rambled again.
I haven't come here to 'belong'. My motive for being here is for sexual fun. It just so happens I've made some very nice friends along the way.
I don't need to feel the part of something, if people don't like me fine. It may sound harsh but we fight so hard for survival and acceptance in the 'vanilla' world without having to do it in here as well.
This place is my release from the stresses of everyday life, I couldn't be doing with hassles in here as well.
I don't need to feel the part of something, if people don't like me fine. It may sound harsh but we fight so hard for survival and acceptance in the 'vanilla' world without having to do it in here as well.
This place is my release from the stresses of everyday life, I couldn't be doing with hassles in here as well.
me, so Splendeeee pick up yer harness and booga orf yer not needed no more!! :kick:I never feel like I NEED to belong to a group, cause I know Im great and would be quite happy being a loner... 
Realistically, I prob am part of many groups (not talking about on here specifically), but I think that comes about just because Im confident and easy to get along with.
In the chat room on here, I always use the same room every time Im on and its mainly the same people in there....I guess an outsider would call us a group
...but dont think we're clique as we'll talk to everyone...or at least I will anyway....But maybe thats just cause Im an effin chatterbox and no one can shut me up :lol: 
and would be quite happy being a loner... Realistically, I prob am part of many groups (not talking about on here specifically), but I think that comes about just because Im confident and easy to get along with.
In the chat room on here, I always use the same room every time Im on and its mainly the same people in there....I guess an outsider would call us a group
...but dont think we're clique as we'll talk to everyone...or at least I will anyway....But maybe thats just cause Im an effin chatterbox and no one can shut me up :lol: 
Sex God
I think its nice to feel you belong. We have made some really good friends mainly from the chat rooms and thats precious. Our local chat room makes me feel I belong to it too. Belonging to a group is important to us though that group has to be fairly inclusive and tolerant.
we are all individuals and can operate as such but the feeling of being in the company of others as a part of a group is a good thing and not to be underestimated. There are no prizes for remaining outside the fold.
we are all individuals and can operate as such but the feeling of being in the company of others as a part of a group is a good thing and not to be underestimated. There are no prizes for remaining outside the fold.
Quote by Phuckers
I'm just me.
I like being independent.
is that another word for lonely
but for those of you claiming not to want to belong to a group yet they have over 2000 replies on cafe forum are fooling themselves...
I said the same to someone last night .... was interesting to see who replied and their "perceived" popularity
