Is this a new trend wth males at clubs

28 Aug 2007

Quote by twos_company
some clubs r out to rob single guys and some charge
£100 / £120 for a single guy.
so the guy thinks that the girls have been invited just for them.
we went to a club like it once, and when we found out what they paid we just walked away.
some couples like to play, but others like to watch.
so yes its hard for couples n singles to know whos / who............so just say hi and if they shun u then move on............

see now that really pisses me off, i think a lot of mens attitude is the most unatractive thing about them, i have actually had a guy say to me once when i told him no thanks.....i've paid my moeny i have the rights :shock: well u can imagin how that went down but i have to say that the biggest problem i have is with women for some reason lots of women in clubs think cause they female they dont have to ask and wether your bi or not dont seem to entre into their heads i have had a few women behave towards me in a way that they would never accept from a man :S

28 Aug 2007

Quote by essex34m
but then i have always worked on the basis men who just stand watching are there cause they want to just watch and if they wanted to join in they would try so i wouldnt personally ask a guy who was watching if he wanted to play anyway cause the chances are he wont

Or maybe he reads threads about how single guys are viewed, and tries to show some respect by waiting to be invited, rather than be seen as someone who is pushy?
yeah there is that to it as well but then i have never asked anyone if they want to play in a club i think its a fear of rejection as im not a very confidant person i just wait for a guy 2 approch me if i like him and if he dont then i saved myself from looking a twat by not asking him redface

lol

Quote by babe and him
Lol, were you at a club sunday night naughtynymphos,
B n H

i was ;)

28 Aug 2007

Quote by northwest-cpl
In our experience, in an open room, most couples are prepared to allow people to join in without asking, so long as they do so in a respectful manner. The norm seems to be to filter by saying no thanks rather than by inviting. In a closed room there are not usually many watchers unless there is a viewing window, but there it would be more appropriate to ask.

I don't know if I agree with your comment but then thats why this is a discussion biggrin

I don't have a great deal of club experience yet, but Ian and I were playing in an open area of a club just last week. A few guys came close but none of them touched until I held out my hand towards one of them inviting him closer confused

Later another bloke stepped forward and went to grab a feel and all it took was a polite shake of the head while Ian said no and he backed off.
Just because you play in public, it doesn't mean anyone has the right to do what they want to you :?
Someone that stands back and allows me (and Ian) the control is going to get a hell of a lot further than someone presuming I am fair game.
We have been going to chams on and off for 4 years because (and he won't mind me saying this) Ian loves to watch. Its his thing :rascal: This Sunday was the first time ever I have seen someone not take no for an answer and push their luck dunno

Aren't we agreeing? He didn't ask yet you let him play and you knocked back the guy you didn't want.
Were you in the room with the round bed?
Not from where I see it :?
Your comments say the norms are to filter by saying no. Why can't the norms be to offer a hand of invitation :dunno:

28 Aug 2007

Well i think its shocking and the guy involved deserved to be kicked out, its even more worring that there was no condom either, open room or not, that doesn't give anyone the right to put others at risk.
The clubs don't help matters either with the fees they charge single guys, i think it gives out the wrong impression to some.

29 Aug 2007

Reading some of the posts on here, we were not going to put any name to the clubs involved, but we were at chams sun as well and the second incident took place there and yes we played in room with round bed with no problems, we had a great night there even with the incident.
We did also have a single male make a few rude comments about the size of babes boobs as we were getting in hot tub ( which he must have thought was a turn on for her, which if fact turned her off him straight away) he was leaving as we got in, but came straight back in and proceeded to sit next to babe with the impression she wanted to play with him, we both said no and he left, twice more that night we had to say no to him, what a pain,lol
We both enjoy people joining in with us, but pushy, rude people are a big turn off to us and we will not entertain them in any way, the polite person who waits to be asked in some way, even a soft stroke on babes arm, will often get an invite,
B n H

29 Aug 2007

Quote by Dawnie
In our experience, in an open room, most couples are prepared to allow people to join in without asking, so long as they do so in a respectful manner. The norm seems to be to filter by saying no thanks rather than by inviting. In a closed room there are not usually many watchers unless there is a viewing window, but there it would be more appropriate to ask.

I don't know if I agree with your comment but then thats why this is a discussion biggrin

I don't have a great deal of club experience yet, but Ian and I were playing in an open area of a club just last week. A few guys came close but none of them touched until I held out my hand towards one of them inviting him closer confused

Later another bloke stepped forward and went to grab a feel and all it took was a polite shake of the head while Ian said no and he backed off.
Just because you play in public, it doesn't mean anyone has the right to do what they want to you :?
Someone that stands back and allows me (and Ian) the control is going to get a hell of a lot further than someone presuming I am fair game.
We have been going to chams on and off for 4 years because (and he won't mind me saying this) Ian loves to watch. Its his thing :rascal: This Sunday was the first time ever I have seen someone not take no for an answer and push their luck dunno

Aren't we agreeing? He didn't ask yet you let him play and you knocked back the guy you didn't want.
Were you in the room with the round bed?
Not from where I see it :?
Your comments say the norms are to filter by saying no. Why can't the norms be to offer a hand of invitation :dunno:
i was always lead to believe that if you have an open door/open room while you are playing it generally is an invite for others,but the general rule for people wanting to join in was to either ask/be invited or to gently probe with a hand say over a part of the body like a leg or an arm...if the couple playing wanted that person to join in they would allow that person to continue probing...if they didn't they would ask him to stop...but to jump in cock first is absolutely out of order!

29 Aug 2007

What a great thread this is turning into, I am learning so much. We've only been to one club 4 times but it is classed as a private party as opposed to a club but we know no different so far!
As for the joining in, I always thought (from reading here and talking others) that the general etiquette was to either ask or subtly make contact i.e. stroking to see whether you are welcomed. I didn't realise that it was the opposite in some clubs.
With regard to the certain types of rooms having acceptable behavious - how do you know? Does it say on the door? Is is an unwritten rule you know when you go regularly?
We only go on cpls nights but last weeek went on a singles night (only because we got an unexpected pass not because we play with singles). However, we found them all to be polite, respectful when they were asked to leave and not one decided to try and join us with this other couple. At times when we didn't want them in our closed (but not lockable) playroom they all left when asked to.
Did have one guy in an open swing room watching who held onto my shoe as I was on the swing with the male partner of a cpl :shock: (can't blame him though they were exceedingly sexy, excrutiatingly high red sandals :grin smile

pink x
In edit: agree with Mr P

29 Aug 2007

This is the sort of thing that has put me and miss srne off visiting a club, we never know what to expect and often think that people might automatically assume we wanted them to "jump our bones" because we had gone to the club and paid our money!!
I think the single male thing is all to do with experience (or lack of it in this case). If i was a single male, and never really had much to do with swinging but one day thought "mmmm i haven't had "it" for ages, where is the best place to go for a definate shag?" i would probably think (like im sure a lot of single guys who arent into the "scene" must do) "ill go to a swingers club, they are all gagging for it in them places!!"
Id go in there (again as an unexperienced single guy) see all these people semi or fully naked in all states of sexual ecstasy and think "wow ill go over and stick "Roger" in there" (Ps i dont call my penis roger btw it was "in character" lol

).
What im saying is maybe at SOME clubs there is more the desire for the club to get fee paying people in such as single guys, without giving them a proper "briefing" on the do's and dont's and etiquette at these places :jagsatwork:
In this respect it may be the club that has to take partial blame for these type of incidents as the single guy might not have a clue about what he can and cant do?
Not making excuses, im just trying to see both points and raise a possible scenario/instance where maybe its not just "oh another bloody pushy single guy" to blame for what transpired confused

:

29 Aug 2007

Quote by Mr-Powers
but to jump in cock first is absolutely out of order!

Can't argue there :thumbup:

30 Aug 2007

I speak as a club virgin, so do not know the intracacies.
However, unless there is a strictly enforced protocol then my guess is that people will revert to type. That is to say the pushy will be pushy and the non-pushy will be relaxed.
I think the safest way would be for responsible clubs to highlight expected standards of behaviour and point out any areas that have variations?
As with life, unfortunately, as a great man's mother once said "Life is like a box of chocolates" biggrin

Dave

30 Aug 2007

Quote by Srne
This is the sort of thing that has put me and miss srne off visiting a club, we never know what to expect and often think that people might automatically assume we wanted them to "jump our bones" because we had gone to the club and paid our money!!
I think the single male thing is all to do with experience (or lack of it in this case). If i was a single male, and never really had much to do with swinging but one day thought "mmmm i haven't had "it" for ages, where is the best place to go for a definate shag?" i would probably think (like im sure a lot of single guys who arent into the "scene" must do) "ill go to a swingers club, they are all gagging for it in them places!!"
Id go in there (again as an unexperienced single guy) see all these people semi or fully naked in all states of sexual ecstasy and think "wow ill go over and stick "Roger" in there" (Ps i dont call my penis roger btw it was "in character" ).
What im saying is maybe at SOME clubs there is more the desire for the club to get fee paying people in such as single guys, without giving them a proper "briefing" on the do's and dont's and etiquette at these places :jagsatwork:
In this respect it may be the club that has to take partial blame for these type of incidents as the single guy might not have a clue about what he can and cant do?
Not making excuses, im just trying to see both points and raise a possible scenario/instance where maybe its not just "oh another bloody pushy single guy" to blame for what transpired :

well said......................

30 Aug 2007

I reiterate..
We (Shireen and I) have never come across a pushy guy/gal/couple..
We were at chams having a little fun on our own when during the course of 5 minutes 3 different guys came in.
All it took from me was a very brief shake of the head to the first 2 as they weren't Shireens cup of tea.
The 3rd was given the nod of approval and was polite and courteous(sp?)
All 3 of these guys never approached us they simply entered the room and stood fairly close by and waited for an invitation..

30 Aug 2007

Quote by babe and him
We have been to a couple of clubs in the last few weeks and have noticed that some (note we have said some) males seem to have a total lack of respect for females, One club we were at and playing in a pool on our own when a male came behind female and proceeded to try to penetrate her from behind when he was not asked to join in and with out even asking, needless to say we lost it with him and spoke to management, who took the view to with draw his membership and throw him out. On the last occasion we were playing with people when a male came over and decide to try once again to penetrate female with no invite or asking, Is it getting to the stage where males think just because they have payed an entrance fee that any female when she is playing is there for them to relieve there sexual frustration out on and what is worse not to use a condom.
Is it just us being fussy or is it an unacceptable tend with some single males having no respect for females.
B n H

Astonishing and unbelievable.
As regular Club goers here and abroad we have never experienced anything like that - in fact the worst ever was a guy at Partners last year who touched Mrs Hot backside as we walked past. He was told he was bang out of order and he apologised.
Following the thread, it is wrong for some people to assume that because you play in an open room it is an invitation to 'join in' - this is just not the case. There are many exhibitionist couples who will play with each other in the most open area possible but because they are exhibitionists - not because they are inviting anyone.
There is a general rule which we have seen adopted and respected the world over and it is simply - 'no means no'
Whilst we have no reason to disbelieve the incidents mentioned, in our experience there are very few men in the world who will simply charge cock in hand straight to the fuck. There is normally some kind of eye contact and/or hand caress/contact beforehand. It is appalling to imagine a scenario like that described and it is something that is unlikely to happen again to you.
Fact is, Clubs are a safe environments to indulge in the swinging hobby because % of the time everyone knows and accepts the rules which are in fact, just common sense.

31 Aug 2007

Quote by babe and him
Reading some of the posts on here, we were not going to put any name to the clubs involved, but we were at chams sun as well and the second incident took place there and yes we played in room with round bed with no problems, we had a great night there even with the incident.
We did also have a single male make a few rude comments about the size of babes boobs as we were getting in hot tub ( which he must have thought was a turn on for her, which if fact turned her off him straight away) he was leaving as we got in, but came straight back in and proceeded to sit next to babe with the impression she wanted to play with him, we both said no and he left, twice more that night we had to say no to him, what a pain,lol
We both enjoy people joining in with us, but pushy, rude people are a big turn off to us and we will not entertain them in any way, the polite person who waits to be asked in some way, even a soft stroke on babes arm, will often get an invite,
B n H

well i cant say i ever have that problem takes you half a hour to find my boobs lol

31 Aug 2007

:giggle: :giggle: naughtynymphos, babes are the first thing to come though the door when she comes into room,lol
She often says she would like them smaller, but gets lots of nice things said about them when we are playing out, all very nice and she enjoys them. Just she does not like rude or coarse remarks. (big turn off)
B n H

31 Aug 2007

we've never had a prob - all the blokes wait for an invite from Ang - the only persistant one we had asked 3 times before I said no, he apologised and never bothered us again - no probs - no hard feelings.
At the end of the day, coutesy and politeness costs nothing and hurts no one.
Shoving his cock at you Babe was well out of order.

31 Aug 2007

Thanks A+D for the responce, we should also have said in first post that we are members of more than one club and have been going to clubs on a regular basis now for over three years and these incidents only happened in the last few weeks, that was one of the reasons for us starting this thread as it has never happened to us in the past.
Lol and hope it does not again.
B n H