Just curious but...

18 Nov 2004

Quote by London-Chap
well I have 'played away' without my partner knowing. I do have my reasons, she's not at all well and has no interest in sex whatsoever but I have a high sex drive.

No, you have your excuses. I wasn't feeling particularly sympathetic at this point but, as others have pointed out, your analogy points to a shocking lack of respect for your partner.

18 Nov 2004

Quote by JudyTV
If/when my partner gets her desire back I'll stop, she's totally gorgeous and I'd love to be making the most of her wonderful body whenever I could but at the moment I don't have that opportunity..It's a bit like having a Ferrari and not being able ti drive it .Or a huge hunk of the best chocolate and not being able to eat it ..
So yeah she doesn't know ...

This post almost makes me want to apologise for being a man. Words fail me.
mad

:x :x

I absolutely agree with Ice Pies statement but will take it one step further and actually apologise for this kind of male behaviour. The combined chocolate and Ferrari comparison is rather scaling of anyone let alone someone who is indisposed. I can assure the female population that this attitude is not endemic of all males and whilst I have a certain sympathy for the medical situation the analogy used here says a lot about the poster. It doesn't help us as males, it doesn't help others in a similar situation of which there are many and it certainly does not help this person personally. If he is after the sympathy shag (I said if) then in this case I think he may well have blown it.
This type of post makes me so glad I am who I am and what I am, what a mess. I hate to be offencive to the poster but if it was me in this situation right now I would deactivate myself and then have a rethink before re registering on a swinging site.
I can safely say that although I had monumental problems of all kinds during a 20 year marriage including physical and psychological I was never unfaithful in any way, I stuck it out until I was divorced, if it could not be done as a couple then it wasnt going to happen.
Judy
Another of Judy's posts that makes alot of sence

18 Nov 2004

Quote by JudyTV
If/when my partner gets her desire back I'll stop, she's totally gorgeous and I'd love to be making the most of her wonderful body whenever I could but at the moment I don't have that opportunity..It's a bit like having a Ferrari and not being able ti drive it .Or a huge hunk of the best chocolate and not being able to eat it ..
So yeah she doesn't know ...

This post almost makes me want to apologise for being a man. Words fail me.
mad

:x :x

I
I can safely say that although I had monumental problems of all kinds during a 20 year marriage including physical and psychological I was never unfaithful in any way, I stuck it out until I was divorced, if it could not be done as a couple then it wasnt going to happen.
Judy
Thats what makes you so blinkin nice Judy..
smile

18 Nov 2004

we entered this site because we wanted another person to join in with us but without the risk of ruining our relationship, and we,ve had so much fun that there is no need to go behind each others back when we have great sex etc while the other joins in, but i have had guy,s pretending to be interested in a 3 some and then asking me if i meet on my own mad

18 Nov 2004

Interesting....with around 30 people responding...as we approach the 15,000 mark on this site I wonder how many of the silent majority are sitting on their hands scared to respond...or how many will lie!
I would love to join in all the fun with my partners full consent, but she is not able, as yet, to participate.
So yes I am one of those L plate refers to..and I have had meets with others on here who do exactly the same. (so it is not just the males). I do not feel I have to justify my reasons. to people on here..and I feel sad at the judgemental attitude that prevails. I have to live with that dishonesty in my life for my own personal reasons, but I am honest enough about my intentions with those I meet.
If it is to become a rule of the site that you must not be acting behind someone elses back, then I will leave graciously..

18 Nov 2004

Quote by tall_dark_n_havesome
If it is to become a rule of the site that you must not be acting behind someone elses back, then I will leave graciously..

Surely it's down to each individual to decide whether to play behind their partners backs or not.
I, for one, couldn't (but then I am single at the moment).
That's me, what others do is entirely down to them.
smile

18 Nov 2004

Quote by zootle
If it is to become a rule of the site that you must not be acting behind someone elses back, then I will leave graciously..

Surely it's down to each individual to decide whether to play behind their partners backs or not.
I, for one, couldn't (but then I am single at the moment).
That's me, what others do is entirely down to them.
smile

I don't think that's necessarily what people were shocked about, I think it was the fact that a man was equating his wife with a commodity.

18 Nov 2004

Quote by Ice Pie
I don't think that's necessarily what people were shocked about, I think it was the fact that a man was equating his wife with a commodity.

I agree, but the fella I was responding to seemed concerned that it would become a rule of the site that those going behind their partners back would be excluded from the site.

18 Nov 2004

Quote by Scandal
Do you think women see ALL men as a homogenous group?

To be honest, I think a lot of women do. A lot of men too...

18 Nov 2004

Quote by Scandal
Do you think women see ALL men as a homogenous group?

Agghhh !!
On the one hand, I want to say 'Yes. Yes they do' OTOH that would require me to lump all women into one group, thereby doing exactly what I'd be accusing them of confused

I'm, like, sooo conflicted :shock:

18 Nov 2004

Quote by MQ
I don't because I don't have a partner. It's one of those questions that can be answered with 'it just depends...' I think.

that reply is what i would of put
JGL

18 Nov 2004

Quote by Silk and Big G
If/when my partner gets her desire back I'll stop

Awe, chivalry isn't dead. 'Scuse me cause Im getting a little misty.
Oh I just love you, you are without doubt fantastic!

18 Nov 2004

Quote by Scandal
Do you think women see ALL men as a homogenous group?

Some do, some don't. That wasn't my point.
I was expressing embarassment at being a member of his species, in much the same way that we are embarassed by the office fool.

18 Nov 2004

Quote by MQ
I certainly dumped my husband and my boyfriend for it.

They wouldn't let you join in? rolleyes

Men!

18 Nov 2004

Quote by Vix
I certainly dumped my husband and my boyfriend for it.

They wouldn't let you join in? rolleyes

Men!
*snigger*
Right, I`m out of here...too many MEN on this thread :eeek:
bolt

Venusxxx

18 Nov 2004

Quote by tall_dark_n_havesome
Interesting....with around 30 people responding...as we approach the 15,000 mark on this site I wonder how many of the silent majority are sitting on their hands scared to respond...or how many will lie!
I would love to join in all the fun with my partners full consent, but she is not able, as yet, to participate.
So yes I am one of those L plate refers to..and I have had meets with others on here who do exactly the same. (so it is not just the males). I do not feel I have to justify my reasons. to people on here..and I feel sad at the judgemental attitude that prevails. I have to live with that dishonesty in my life for my own personal reasons, but I am honest enough about my intentions with those I meet.
If it is to become a rule of the site that you must not be acting behind someone elses back, then I will leave graciously..

I agree with you sir, not everyone has the perfect relationship/partnership/marriage call the union what you like.
Sometimes things are done that keep a partnership together whether the partner knows or not, it may not seem right to those not involved in the same type of situation or people looking in form the outside....but who cares!
Each to their own.

19 Nov 2004

Quote by tony000uk
Interesting....with around 30 people responding...as we approach the 15,000 mark on this site I wonder how many of the silent majority are sitting on their hands scared to respond...or how many will lie!
I would love to join in all the fun with my partners full consent, but she is not able, as yet, to participate.
So yes I am one of those L plate refers to..and I have had meets with others on here who do exactly the same. (so it is not just the males). I do not feel I have to justify my reasons. to people on here..and I feel sad at the judgemental attitude that prevails. I have to live with that dishonesty in my life for my own personal reasons, but I am honest enough about my intentions with those I meet.
If it is to become a rule of the site that you must not be acting behind someone elses back, then I will leave graciously..

I agree with you sir, not everyone has the perfect relationship/partnership/marriage call the union what you like.
Sometimes things are done that keep a partnership together whether the partner knows or not, it may not seem right to those not involved in the same type of situation or people looking in form the outside....but who cares!
Each to their own.
Sorry peeps I with Tony on this one. I think people (lets not confine it to guys) who play without a partners consent are not really swinging in its literal sense. Deception is not a good point to start from. However when all the parties (bar obviously the unknowing partner) know the full facts and chose to play then I think it is wrong to be judgemental.
While the fact they have chosen to 'play away' says a lot about the health of their relationship, none of it good. People often will stick at a poor relationship for various reasons, often love for a partner (that may not be returned) or for the kids in a marriage.
Who are we to say that they cannot play, but should lead a life of solitude, or break up their relationship (with damage to kids, etc) so they can play guilt free. Now if they get caught then all that will happen anyway, and their relationship is in the dumps if they feel a need to play away, very true, but should they not be treated as who they are, not who they chose to spend time with for whatever reason?

You think I would know better than to post this late at night wouldn't you... Please read with larger pinch of salt than normal due to tiredness...

19 Nov 2004

You can,t judge all men by one guy,s standards, anymore than judging a woman by other womens standards :jagsatwork: but i,ve had a couple of bad eggs in the past loon

...but it,s not put me off omlettes blink

19 Nov 2004

well, i'm just letting all know my situation, both my wife and i swing, but are into different things and tastes, she will only go with other women, no male involvement whatsoever, not even being watched (shame), she has a girlfriend, and the two of them go out specifically looking for other women (the wifes girlfriend is a lesbian btw), whereas myself, enjoy the company of women and couples, but we are totally open with each other, and to be honest get a major kick out of telling each other what has gone on, and before you ask, no i hav'nt played with the wife and her girlfriend.... but this is why i play alone, but being open and honest is the only way, anything else is just plain lying, to your partner...and yourself if you think your going to get away with it. the truth will always come out in the end.

19 Nov 2004

I think as long as both partners are aware of what the other is doing and approves of it then there isn't a problem. The problems come when one partner is more into it than the other or when one partner is downright dishonest.

19 Nov 2004

I wonder whether some people who cheat on their partners in the swinging world do it alone because they couldnt handle their other halves having sex with someone else?
Maybe they go it alone and dont ask whether their partner would be up for it in case they said "yes".
wink

:wink: