Hi Everybody,
If you think I'm new then that's because I'm new. I've been skulking about for a month or two trying to pluck up the courage to post something. Haven't even filled in our profile properly. Avatars, emoticons and stuff are still on my wish-list.
I'm the Tom part of Maureen and Tom and the Alpha Female (more often called The Management) will be having a look at this later. For the time being this is a solo effort from (Sgt) Major Tom. True, you can check with Ground Control if you wish.
Now why, you may ask, is this nut posting now? Over the months I've fallen in love with Vix (is she that beautiful blonde on the beach? I think I know where that beach is but I'm not saying because I like it deserted), and Clare, and Callista, and Angel Chat (is it ok if I copy, paste, print and frame that wonderful first poem?) and others as well.
However, the sharp intellect and tongues of Bilko, Mal and others fill me with fear.
But not any more. Because I've been browsing through the ads. It's amazing how many ads want Cpls. Some even say "Cpl4Cpls". Now why anybody would want five Corporals, I don't know. It's a mystery to me why they all want Cpls - what about the poor bloody Sgts and WO Ones. Maybe the advertisers think there's been no promotion this side of the ocean. I think that could be the long and the short and the tall of it.
But I was a Corporal for about five years. True, it took a few years toget to Corporal and it was only a few years to be promoted out of the Corporal zone. But I am a Cpl of some standing. I even remember the chat-up lines. Like, wait for it, wait for it, "I'll have your guts for garters, Sunshine" and "You broke your mother's heart but you won't break mine". And more.
So the fear has now gone. I know I am in demand and will sit back confident that now I am a Cpl out of the closet there will be masses of people demanding to be placed on my waiting list. (Judy, would you like a Cpl in uniform?)
Cpl (now Major) Tom
ps: Clare - Get Well Soon (and would you like a Cpl in uniform?)
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Kiss me Goodnight Sargeant Major
Quote by maureenandtom
ps: Clare - Get Well Soon (and would you like a Cpl in uniform?)
Well hello there
:wave: :wave: Congrats on a cracking forst post there!!
Couples in uniform,now that sounds like my kind of people :rascal:
Glad to see that youve dived in and that you already know everyone,ill have to watch what i say from now on
Sex God
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: nice one!
hiya tom & maureen :welcome: to the site!
so many loons, i mean newbies, to play with! :bounce: have fun mate. think we might! ;)
neil x x x ;)
Sex God
Wasn't MajorTom a junkie, or was that someone else??? :crazy:
Hey ho, welcome anyway :lol: :lol:
Hey ho, welcome anyway
:lol: :lol: 
Mod
Venus
As has been posted earlier in time, the rank structure on here is as follows:
The Great Black Dalek (Mark)
The Moderators
The great unwashed
We like to keep it simple with minimal management structures !
Cardinal Mal
:twisted:
As has been posted earlier in time, the rank structure on here is as follows:
The Great Black Dalek (Mark)
The Moderators
The great unwashed
We like to keep it simple with minimal management structures
!Cardinal Mal
:twisted:
Quote by VenusnMars
Pssst, Vix, I`ll edit my spelling mistake, if you edit your quote!
Venusxxx
Psssst! Done it for you!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Hello Maureen and Tom
Welcome to the asylum !! It's strange you should mention all these Cpls knocking about this place. I too made the same observation back in January. We went on to find all sorts of Military Personnel then. Have a read of this:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/5087.html
....... wipes sprayed KFC & Pepsi off the laptop screen ....
Sarge that thread was brilliant ........ another contender for the funniest thread!
I really miss the Pearly Gates thread that used to be stickied at the top ... some of the funniest things I've ever read... i'm sure some of the newer members of the forum would appreciate a resurrection (albeit temporarily????)
Major Tom
Welcome to the maddest place you will ever become addicted to..... your post certainly qualifies you as one of us :loons:
Sarge that thread was brilliant ........ another contender for the funniest thread!
I really miss the Pearly Gates thread that used to be stickied at the top ... some of the funniest things I've ever read... i'm sure some of the newer members of the forum would appreciate a resurrection (albeit temporarily????)
Major Tom
Welcome to the maddest place you will ever become addicted to..... your post certainly qualifies you as one of us :loons:
Quote by Sgt Bilko
So do you outrank the Sarge Tom? If so, can we use this to our advantage?! :twisted: :bounce:
Venusxxx
Just remember who has the buttons !! :shock: :shock: :shock:
Like that`s any threat! The only buttons you are familiar with are the ones you can undo.................... talking of which, I have some here that need undoing. Care to help???
Venusxxx
Sex God
Hmmm, get the feeling we've met before Major Tom??? In another life maybe? or maybe not, I'm not as young as I was :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:
Quote by VenusnMars
So do you outrank the Sarge Tom? If so, can we use this to our advantage?! :twisted: :bounce:
Venusxxx
Just remember who has the buttons !! :shock: :shock: :shock:
Like that`s any threat! The only buttons you are familiar with are the ones you can undo.................... talking of which, I have some here that need undoing. Care to help???
Venusxxx
As I said, remember who has the buttons !!! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Sex God
:welcome: to you both.
Excellent post. Keep em comin :twisted:
Gill & Del x
Excellent post. Keep em comin :twisted:
Gill & Del x
Sex God
Still think I know you from somewhere Major Tom.... do you live in the Machester area? Bury maybe??? 
I've been thinking about outranking Bilko.
Well, if I remember rightly, Bilko isn't an ordinary Sergeant. He is a Master Sergeant. And that is equivalent to our Sergeant Major. So it has to come down to seniority and since Bilko has to be at least 120 years old it has to be admitted that he outranks me. I also seem to remember that Bilko was a Lootenant for a while (whatever that is) having been awarded a field commission during the Second Great Unpleasantness. I think he resigned his commission rather than pay ten years of mess bills.
So Bilko still reigns supreme.
My own branch of the service had its own "Master" ranks. Master Pilot, Master Navigator and so on. Mostly they were nice guys but I have to admit there were a few Master Baiters among them.
Major Tom
Well, if I remember rightly, Bilko isn't an ordinary Sergeant. He is a Master Sergeant. And that is equivalent to our Sergeant Major. So it has to come down to seniority and since Bilko has to be at least 120 years old it has to be admitted that he outranks me. I also seem to remember that Bilko was a Lootenant for a while (whatever that is) having been awarded a field commission during the Second Great Unpleasantness. I think he resigned his commission rather than pay ten years of mess bills.
So Bilko still reigns supreme.
My own branch of the service had its own "Master" ranks. Master Pilot, Master Navigator and so on. Mostly they were nice guys but I have to admit there were a few Master Baiters among them.
Major Tom
Mod
Crab Air by any chance Tom? And welcome to the Site. Glad you like my posts.
Cardinal Mal
:twisted:
Cardinal Mal
:twisted:
