What is worse than a liar?
I have always thought there is nothing worse - you don't know where you stand with liars. You know where you stand with a thief, you know where you stand with a lazy person, a forgetful person, but where do you stand with a liar?
But then it's not always as straightforward as truth or lie; there are the semi-liars, the kind of people who claim not to lie but just don't answer all of the question or didn't give the full answer - thus trying to lead you to a false conclusion... example:
"Are you married?"
"No, no, no, I am not married"
But they just happen to not mention they live with someone.
Note - this is just an example and not a bash at single guys (which is why I didn't specify gender) - they get enough of a bashing from certain quarters already.
There are people who use the actual words to justify the lie and start playing with semantics... example:
"Did you talk to each other?"
"No, we have not talked"
So in this example, by placing the emphasis on the word 'talk' rather than acknowledging the overall meaning of the question they can mislead, ie we didn't talk (but we did send text messages/emails/etc though you didn't specifically ask that so I won't admit to it)
Is this still what you would call lying?
Some people say we all lie and I guess to some degree that can be true - we don't always say "No your bum doesn't look big in that - it looks ferkin' massive", but,
Where should we draw the line between being polite and being a liar?
How do you feel about being lied to?
How big does a lie have to be before you see it as a lie?
Is the lie made more serious by the nature/purpose of the lie. Or is a lie a lie (full stop).
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Liars and lies
Quote by PoloLady
Or is a lie a lie (full stop).
A lie is a lie is a lie in this house... No matter how small or trivial it may seem...
There are times when I may prefer not to reveal everything but I will always fess up when I think the time is right.... A good example is what is happening at work at the minute. I told Steve some of what was happening but not all of it as I knew that he would blow his top. I only told him everything once I had made the complaint official at work....
I dont think anything riles me more than a liar as they will only get found out in the end...
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
What is worse than a liar?
A compulsive gambler and an alcaholic liar.
I have always thought there is nothing worse - you don’t know where you stand with liars. You know where you stand with a thief, you know where you stand with a lazy person, a forgetful person… but where do you stand with a liar?
:thumbup:
But then it’s not always as straightforward as truth or lie… there are the semi-liars… the kind of people who claim not to lie but just don’t answer all of the question or didn’t give the full answer - thus trying to lead you to a false conclusion… example:
“Are you married?â€
“No, no, no, I am not marriedâ€
But they just happen to not mention they live with someone.
Note - this is just an example and not a bash at single guys (which is why I didn‘t specify gender) - they get enough of a bashing from certain quarters already.
There are people who use the actual words to justify the lie and start playing with semantics… example:
“Did you talk to each other?â€
“No, we have not talkedâ€
So in this example, by placing the emphasis on the word ‘talk’ rather than acknowledging the overall meaning of the question they can mislead, ie we didn’t talk (but we did send text messages/emails/etc though you didn‘t specifically ask that so I won‘t admit to it)
Is this still what you would call lying?
No IMO. That sounds to me like the person had been asked a question which they felt uncomfortable (rightly or wrongly) answering as they felt the answer may have hurt or offended the person they were talking to in some way.
Some people say we all lie and I guess to some degree that can be true - we don’t always say “No your bum doesn’t look big in that - it looks ferkin’ massive!â€, but….
Where should we draw the line between being polite and being a liar?
If I am asked my oppinion on something I give it honestly. I am able to do this tactfully.
How do you feel about being lied to?
I have major experience of being with someone for 11 years who gambled, drank and lied to me about those and other things. I could never believe anything he said. I knew I was being lied to but as you say you can't fight a lie.
How big does a lie have to be before you see it as a lie?
A lie is something you are told by someone who knows it is'nt true for the purposes of protecting themselves for selfish reasons. It does'nt matter how big it is.
Is the lie made more serious by the nature/purpose of the lie…. Or is a lie a lie (full stop).
As above. The seriousness of it however depends on the view of the person recieving that lie and how they choose to perceive it.
Or at least that's my take on it.
Love
FIRE xx
Sex God
We all hate being lied to. But it depends on the circumstances as to how soon we can forgive or forget.
Unfortunately, in the context of swinging, it can be quite emotive and therfore create some difficult and lasting problems.
Sorry PL this doesn't answer your questions and i really would've liked to ... (that's a lie!
)
.
Unfortunately, in the context of swinging, it can be quite emotive and therfore create some difficult and lasting problems.
Sorry PL this doesn't answer your questions and i really would've liked to ... (that's a lie!
).
Sex God
As someone who is just learning all about this, i will give an opinion at a later date if that’s ok, would not like to break the AUP.
Orgasminator
With all due respect, you rekon in your profile that your 2006, Nuff said in my book! 
Oh and i got banned for that.. favoritism hmm. :lol:
Oh and i got banned for that.. favoritism hmm. :lol:
Orgasminator
I was honestly banned for my age being wrong, i was having a laugh with another person on the site and said im 10034 or something like that ( check my profile ) and then forgot to change it, i do think a chatroom op who looked like he was wearing a syrup took the ump with me, mind i dont thinks hes a mod now. Hi Jack over.
Orgasminator
imho - don't ask a question unless you want to hear the answer.........................................
and...........................................
if you want to hear the answer you're looking for, ask the right question!!
CA x
and...........................................
if you want to hear the answer you're looking for, ask the right question!!
CA x
Orgasminator
Trust me it happened.
Quote by PoloLady
What is worse than a liar?
I have a serious issue with liars but what's worse - and this might be just at the mo while my hormones are raging and I can't get enough :shock: - are those guys who say they want fun, they're so up for it but then the only thing they're up for when u meet is their own jolies. Like ladies don't need sexual satisfaction?! WTF?! Sorry but this has been two meets recently and, y'know I'm a patient girl when need be, I'll help u any way I can...but fairs fair, u get off, I get offf....but not so with two of SH's single men who I've met recently, no, let's spend ALL the time on me, me, me.....sorry, what, u want what?....u want me to spend time on u?...wtf?!....
bitch away men, u might get to meet me once but if you are so uninterested in my pleasure, u won't get a second chance :twisted:
Once, bad experience...twice, fucked off
Applications welcome from men who are actually interested in the woman getting pleasure before you ask her to leave :shock:OK rant over, not hijacked too much me hopes
Quote by CarrieAnn
imho - don't ask a question unless you want to hear the answer.........................................
and...........................................
if you want to hear the answer you're looking for, ask the right question!!
CA x
i totally and completely agree....................
also id like to add that i find certain questions, from certain people an invasion of my privacy ( ie, the person asking is doing so not because thet are entltled to know , but rather because they are nosey or have somethig to gain from knowing the answer) therefore i believe that even though morally wrong.. its acceptable to lie in some circumstances.
its a bit more polite than telling the person to fuck off and mind their own business
I hate people who blatantly lie to either get their own way or to cover their own back. I don't suffer fools gladly and if I'm lied to and subsequently taken for a complete ride, ice cream and all, then you may as well pack your bags.
When I found out ex hubby was shagging around behind my back, that he had told his bint that we were living together more as house mates, sleeping in separate rooms, hadn't had sex for about a year and that he was planning to leave me anyway. All the while, he was talking to ME about what we could do to spice things up a little more and planning the next year's holiday and what we'd do when the kids left home He then had the goddam cheek to say I was over reacting when I told him he had an hour to pack his things and fuck off :shock:
When I found out ex hubby was shagging around behind my back, that he had told his bint that we were living together more as house mates, sleeping in separate rooms, hadn't had sex for about a year and that he was planning to leave me anyway. All the while, he was talking to ME about what we could do to spice things up a little more and planning the next year's holiday and what we'd do when the kids left home
He then had the goddam cheek to say I was over reacting when I told him he had an hour to pack his things and fuck off :shock: Quote by CarrieAnn
imho - don't ask a question unless you want to hear the answer.........................................
and...........................................
if you want to hear the answer you're looking for, ask the right question!!
CA x
To really cover all of the bases - don't you think that would end up being more like an interrogation rather than a discussion or conversation?
Quote by Versace Vase
I was honestly banned for my age being wrong, i was having a laugh with another person on the site and said im 10034 or something like that ( check my profile ) and then forgot to change it, i do think a chatroom op who looked like he was wearing a syrup took the ump with me, mind i dont thinks hes a mod now. Hi Jack over.
No you weren't! That's NOT what happened at all.
And the Mod who banned you was never a chatroom Op either. :roll:
Oh, and the Mod who banned you was never a bloke either!
:roll:
Honestly.
Lying was written about recently in a new book. The author recognised that lying exists throughout the adult world in many layers and disguises and is employed a lot to deal with everyday occurrences. I think we all do it to facilitate in the situation. It may be to avoid or distract or save time etc. Corporate lying is more or less part of one's job description.
I would consider that deliberate lying is preconceived and there would need to be a purpose for this. But in general lying is used more of an opportunistic tool. Honesty on the other hand can be made to look foolish, particularly in the courts. Where a truth can be completely turned around. Therefore lying actually helps to keep things more rational, and although everybody twigs at some point, its often seen as the most practical method to achieve something.
But deliberate lying falls into conspiracies, and needs willing but not too bright accomplices.
I would consider that deliberate lying is preconceived and there would need to be a purpose for this. But in general lying is used more of an opportunistic tool. Honesty on the other hand can be made to look foolish, particularly in the courts. Where a truth can be completely turned around. Therefore lying actually helps to keep things more rational, and although everybody twigs at some point, its often seen as the most practical method to achieve something.
But deliberate lying falls into conspiracies, and needs willing but not too bright accomplices.
Other peoples honesty seems to be the current obsession in THE CAFE at the moment. But I don't understand why. Almost everyone is here with a code name and a stupid picture to hide their identity. The site is based on a slight lie in that we don't reveal our true names etc.
What's worse than a liar? Well..... a murderer, a wife beater, a padiphile oh the list goes on. Think about it. Would you rather your children were involved with a violent partner or a liar?
What's worse than a liar? Well..... a murderer, a wife beater, a padiphile oh the list goes on. Think about it. Would you rather your children were involved with a violent partner or a liar?
Quote by Sassy-Seren
I hate people who blatantly lie to either get their own way or to cover their own back. I don't suffer fools gladly and if I'm lied to and subsequently taken for a complete ride, ice cream and all, then you may as well pack your bags.
all that, with bells on! - and a :kick: for good measure!
it doesnt even need to be blatant lies either - the subtlest of 'covering my own back because i've got something to hide' is enough for me to put the steelies on, I cant abide liars - and even worse, those who get away with it because they're sooo fooking good at it
So in this example, by placing the emphasis on the word ‘talk’ rather than acknowledging the overall meaning of the question they can mislead, ie we didn’t talk (but we did send text messages/emails/etc though you didn‘t specifically ask that so I won‘t admit to it)
Is this still what you would call lying?
Yes Its lying in my book, technically its being 'economical with the truth' , but , that's still lying! Especially in the context of your example. I think I have a problem generally with people who just arn't straight-up, but being economical with the truth, particularly when I've asked a question and want an answer (because lets face it, if we're asking, it usually means we already half-know :idea: ) is the worst kind of lie - little white 'polite' lies I can ' ignore' (i work with people who lie all the time)..... underhand snake-like denying-it-to-my-face lies when I already know anyway and am testing you to see just how far you think you can push lies are just sealing your own fate : :
Been reading this thread and i agree with a lot of what is said however the truth of the matter is(pardon the pun ), we all lie, everybody, even the most robust,self confident, and socially adept lie occasionally, its a neccesity in life in order to carry on through the grand tapestry of life without offending a vast majority of the time. Being into psychology etc here are a few of my thoughts (il try to be honest )
Some people are those like i have mentioned above, that lie to be tactful, in situations par say where they dont want to hurt another persons feelings by being 100% truthful about whatever it is they are asked, eg the old "does my bum look big in this?" cliche.
Then some lie to make things easier for themselves, and these people are generally those with slightly less self confidence or when they are talking to someone they sub - conciously feel is superior to them "sorry boss i had to go round to my grannies this morning as she wasn't well" instead of "i slept in"
After this you usually find the next level compromises of the elaborate liars and schemers,
these people are generally above averagely intelligent (most of the time), and unfortunately are clever enough to have realised that by lying, bending the truth and facts, and generally misleading people, they can get away with a lot!!
These people are the ones that i really dislike, they lie to gain, either from other peoples trust in them or the other persons ignorance or realisation that the person in question would, or could lie to them.
Its even worse when it is a partner i would imagine, like some other good folk on here have mentioned, the ultimate betrayal is to find out (after a long time in some cases) that the person you love, trusted implicitly and relied on, was the very one who was lying to you, those are the ones i feel sorry for!
Damn you polo lady, its too early in the morning for this thought provoking stuff :wink: :lol:
), we all lie, everybody, even the most robust,self confident, and socially adept lie occasionally, its a neccesity in life in order to carry on through the grand tapestry of life without offending a vast majority of the time. Being into psychology etc here are a few of my thoughts (il try to be honest )Some people are those like i have mentioned above, that lie to be tactful, in situations par say where they dont want to hurt another persons feelings by being 100% truthful about whatever it is they are asked, eg the old "does my bum look big in this?" cliche.
Then some lie to make things easier for themselves, and these people are generally those with slightly less self confidence or when they are talking to someone they sub - conciously feel is superior to them "sorry boss i had to go round to my grannies this morning as she wasn't well" instead of "i slept in"
After this you usually find the next level compromises of the elaborate liars and schemers,
these people are generally above averagely intelligent (most of the time), and unfortunately are clever enough to have realised that by lying, bending the truth and facts, and generally misleading people, they can get away with a lot!!
These people are the ones that i really dislike, they lie to gain, either from other peoples trust in them or the other persons ignorance or realisation that the person in question would, or could lie to them.
Its even worse when it is a partner i would imagine, like some other good folk on here have mentioned, the ultimate betrayal is to find out (after a long time in some cases) that the person you love, trusted implicitly and relied on, was the very one who was lying to you, those are the ones i feel sorry for!
Damn you polo lady, its too early in the morning for this thought provoking stuff :wink: :lol:
My mum always used to say "there's nothing you can have done that is worth lying about".
It's kinda carried on with my kids, I always tell them they get in far more trouble for lying to me than anything they've done.
It's a real pet peeve of mine, I hate people being dishonest with me.
I guess a situation not helped by the fact my dad was dishonest with his family for years and was having countless affairs behind my mum's back.
But what about white lies, are they allowable because it's only a half-lie, or you're sparing someone's feelings?
I dunno, I can't say I'm holier than thou and have never lied, but I try not to!
It's kinda carried on with my kids, I always tell them they get in far more trouble for lying to me than anything they've done.
It's a real pet peeve of mine, I hate people being dishonest with me.
I guess a situation not helped by the fact my dad was dishonest with his family for years and was having countless affairs behind my mum's back.
But what about white lies, are they allowable because it's only a half-lie, or you're sparing someone's feelings?
I dunno, I can't say I'm holier than thou and have never lied, but I try not to!
There's a huge difference in telling little white lies to be tactful or something and the huge great tarantula sized whoppers which are done to suit that person's own purpose.
We've all told little porkies I'm guessing - pulling a sickie from work, why you didn't do your homework, I haven't touched a chocolate bar in months, the dress doesn't really suit me not that it's too small, even the old Xmas adage 'it's just what I've always wanted' etc etc - I don't see them as doing anyone any real harm.
Lies used to cheat someone, make a fool of them or to cover something more serious or sinister is a different kettle of fish
We've all told little porkies I'm guessing - pulling a sickie from work, why you didn't do your homework, I haven't touched a chocolate bar in months, the dress doesn't really suit me not that it's too small, even the old Xmas adage 'it's just what I've always wanted' etc etc - I don't see them as doing anyone any real harm.
Lies used to cheat someone, make a fool of them or to cover something more serious or sinister is a different kettle of fish
Sexlightened
Quote by Sassy-Seren
There's a huge difference in telling little white lies to be tactful or something and the huge great tarantula sized whoppers which are done to suit that person's own purpose.
We've all told little porkies I'm guessing - pulling a sickie from work, why you didn't do your homework, I haven't touched a chocolate bar in months, the dress doesn't really suit me not that it's too small, even the old Xmas adage 'it's just what I've always wanted' etc etc - I don't see them as doing anyone any real harm.
Lies used to cheat someone, make a fool of them or to cover something more serious or sinister is a different kettle of fish
I think a 'white' lie is sometimes ok to say, but only when it involves another persons emotions, if a random question is asked, as said before about ''does my arse look big in this'' to answer yes it looks like a hippo reversing is not a good answer and will prob upset them,
where as a simple 'white lie', yes you look great, will boost there confidence and nobody is hurt,
as pionted out at the bgining thee are degree's of lie's and when it starts hurting, or damaging peoples life's then thats the piont it is a full blown lie,
Quote by Sassy-Seren
There's a huge difference in telling little white lies to be tactful or something and the huge great tarantula sized whoppers which are done to suit that person's own purpose.
We've all told little porkies I'm guessing - pulling a sickie from work, why you didn't do your homework, I haven't touched a chocolate bar in months, the dress doesn't really suit me not that it's too small, even the old Xmas adage 'it's just what I've always wanted' etc etc - I don't see them as doing anyone any real harm.
Lies used to cheat someone, make a fool of them or to cover something more serious or sinister is a different kettle of fish
It's an interesting philosophy "All lies are bad except the small white lies aren't really lies so they're okay"
Pulling a sickie from work - If you get paid sick leave and you lie about being sick then, I would guess, you are stealing the money from your employer. Hey ho theft thats not too serious is it?
I would think that being an out and out liar is with the intention of permanently deceiving that person or people of the truth and trying to gain something out of it.... to tell a little white lie in my opinion would be to spare someone hurt or anything but without the intention of personal gain?
My thoughts anyway ...
My thoughts anyway ...
Quote by keeno
There's a huge difference in telling little white lies to be tactful or something and the huge great tarantula sized whoppers which are done to suit that person's own purpose.
We've all told little porkies I'm guessing - pulling a sickie from work, why you didn't do your homework, I haven't touched a chocolate bar in months, the dress doesn't really suit me not that it's too small, even the old Xmas adage 'it's just what I've always wanted' etc etc - I don't see them as doing anyone any real harm.
Lies used to cheat someone, make a fool of them or to cover something more serious or sinister is a different kettle of fish
It's an interesting philosophy "All lies are bad except the small white lies aren't really lies so they're okay"
Pulling a sickie from work - If you get paid sick leave and you lie about being sick then, I would guess, you are stealing the money from your employer. Hey ho theft thats not too serious is it?
Don't you get all philosophical on me, you bugger
Can you honestly, hand on heart say you've NEVER told a little white lie in your entire life? Never called in sick and made your illness sound worse than it really is? Never told someone something that wasn't strictly the truth so as not to hurt their feelings?
If you can truthfully answer yes then arise Saint Keeno .............ya fibber :giggle:
Just to add to this thread from my earlier post, been having a look onthe photo ads sevtion and is amazing how many people lie on there and then catch themselves out :shock:
one cpl claim the female is 20 yrs old and then (she) goes on to say "i have been with only 2 men in my life i was married to one of them for 15 years" :shock: how the feck does that work out she got married aged 5, crazy, just plain crazy!!
one cpl claim the female is 20 yrs old and then (she) goes on to say "i have been with only 2 men in my life i was married to one of them for 15 years" :shock: how the feck does that work out she got married aged 5, crazy, just plain crazy!!
Quote by Kiss
I can't seem to find the words to answer this so I'll let somebody else do it for me.
“The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone ~ George Bernard Shaw
Ooowww - if we are doing quotes
"False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil. "
Socrates
"People think that a liar gains a victory over his victim. What I've learned is that a lie is an act of self-abdication, because one surrenders one's reality to the person to whom one lies, making that person one's master.... "
Ayn Rand
But then on the other hand...
"Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically--for our mutual good. The lie is the basic building block of good manners. That may seem mildly shocking to a moralist--but then what isn't? "
Quentin Crisp
