Locked Couples & Fems Party Thread?

17 Aug 2004

My goodness, i have to say that i am shocked by the level of vitriol our advertisement has caused. I would like to think that whilst we do indeed have specific wants for our party, at no point have we been rude or unkind to any of the posters here - in all honesty, i am a little confused at the level of personal abuse this has generated. I noted Steveg_NW's comments about having met us he does not want to ever meet us again, which is saddening. We did not find Surrey singles party an environment we would be comfortable swinging in, however we did meet a range of interesting and kind people - so Steves comments have surprised me.
I'd like very much to thank Robbie for his support in this thread, i can honestly say that i believe our advertising for 'good looking people' is no different to some of the other requirements posted here. For example - must be well endowned, thats a physical attribute and something which could potentially cause the same level of upset, so why is that different?
I shan't dignify those who compared our actions to Hitler with a response, except perhaps this one -
rotflmao

17 Aug 2004

So, have my actions been vindicated, then?
You wanted a debate, you got a debate - of sorts - and in the process have been subjected to a plethora of opinions; most of which dissagree with you and are quite vocal. But then, I could have told you all this from the start. Been playing this game a long time, you see! wink

I think the bottom line in forming people's opinions - both from those you've met, and those you haven't met - is your lack of tact in asking for what you want. You've attended a party in someone elses home, accepted their hospitality, then turned around and announced that - for want of a better expression - most of the other attendees were all 'mingers'. And you were then Royally told, sometimes more eloquantly than others, that the world doesn't give a stuff about who you find attractive anymore than it does about who dings my donger. smile

So back to the start with you... and good luck. Can I suggest a reworded ad and a careful think about the impression gleaned from what you're saying?
Hxx

17 Aug 2004

Gosh!! Where to start!! surprised

I think alot of people seem to think that we are rude for going to a party and then not inviting everyone who was there to our party?
Am I right about that?
SurreySingles party was the first one that we have attended (that wasnt organised by ourselves) and it was really an exercise in dipping our toes in the very big bath that is swinging - we had no idea what we would find!
We had a very interesting time, and met some nice people, but just because of that a lot of you out there seem to feel that we owe hospitality to all?
I think not.
We have a specific scenario in mind for the party this saturday - and some ppl will not fit into the framework of that scenario, and if that upsets some ppl then so be it.
I have never, nor will I pander to public opinion.
And as for Steveg_nw & Sgt Bilko's comments - well I am sorry you feel like that, but I guess you cant get on with everyone!
What I will say is that everyone is entitled to their opinion's, view's, beliefs etc - including us!! wink

I find it interesting (and a little unbelievable) that some people have even been reduced to 'slagging us off' as even they put it and suggesting 'weeing on our carpets' (actually its wooden floors throughout darling!!!).
Anyway, after all this I think I may plan a party for people who's beauty is within - who's up for it???
Thanks smile

Dxxxx

17 Aug 2004

Well read the thread in lets meet up and went and checked out your ads. I had already built a picture of your age group before even going to your ad but reading it you are clear about who you are. - young good looking professional - in your opinion.
I think it is not good for anyone on here to publicly state their like or dislike of one another as it breaks the community feel of a place but as I said your attitudein your thread and in here would test most people. rolleyes

:roll:
I am always amused at the word 'professional' in your ad as my job and salary puts me in a bracket which classes me in on of the top salary rankings. So maybe I should have my own little clique for professional males, high earners over 35?????? :shock: :shock: God wouldnt I have a good time by myself. I came here to meet people not their token material attributes which a good dose of redundancy can change :roll:
I hope this thread gets locked soon as all it will do it create a divide either by age, looks, confidence et al.
I think that people will make there own minds up. What I think would worry me is that if people from here who attend your party are tainted or judged as taking sides in this discussion:shock: :shock:

17 Aug 2004

This is long, sorry, I didnâ€™t realise how long it would be until I had finished :shock:
I debated with myself for a long time whether or not to reply on here or not, in the end the 'yes post' side won lol.
Firstly I apologise if some of this post is not as eloquent as normal, I have been on a night shift and have, as yet, had no sleep.
Secondly I apologise for not quoting properly, again due to lack of sleep I quite simply canâ€™t be arsed.
It appears, having read through both threads, that there are two main issues being â€˜thrashed outâ€™ here:- 1) surreycouples use of the phrase â€˜good lookingâ€™ in their advert and 2) the â€˜rights and wrongsâ€™ of using restricting criteria.
OK number 1, the use of 'good looking'
To quote fabio grooverider" if you are going the throw around general phrases... "good looking" is subjective rather than descriptive..."
I totally agree however the reply
surreycouple2003 â€We could have been very specific â€“ but Iâ€™m quite sure that an ad stating no Ugly, Old Fat People would have taken the can of worms and opened it with a hand grenade!!"
Does not answer the point â€“ Ulgy and Fat are also subjective terms.

Quote by frogster
Never judge a book by it's cover
Beauty is skin deep
etc...etc...

Iâ€™ll add another â€“ beauty (or good looks) is in the eye of the beholder. What you consider good looking may not be other peoples opinions. :dry:
I acknowledge that surreycouple agree with this, that peoples definitions of what makes a person good looking, ugly or what construes a good personality will differ. It is because of this that I personally wouldnâ€™t use a subjective phrase in an advert/party intivation myself. However, it is their advert and (correct me if Iâ€™m wrong) as far as I can tell they havenâ€™t broken any of the sites rules, the only thing I can see they are â€˜guiltyâ€™ of (not intending to be judgemental) is offending fellow members.
WOW
Number 2 â€“ Is it right to use restricting criteria for ads/parties?
In brief â€“ I donâ€™t know LOL dunno

I can see both sides of the coin. Personally, our ad states â€˜no single malesâ€™ we have our reasons for this (if anyone wants to hear them then PM me) as I am sure surreycouple have their reasons for only wanting â€˜good lookingâ€™ people at their party.
I personally would use the following distinction. I donâ€™t see a problem with saying â€˜no single menâ€™, â€˜white/black/yellow couples onlyâ€™ or the likes, in a personal advert. After all, you are advertising for a specific person/couple, to help fulfil your fantises, desires, likes and whims.
However! Personally I feel that parties/gatherings/munches/socials should be more of an â€˜openâ€™ arrangement. By using limiting factors you loose out on the variety and experience that the excluded people would bring to it.
Picture the scenario â€“ your party of â€˜good lookingâ€™ people goes ahead, you get a good number turn up and you have a great time. What if one or two of your â€˜good lookingâ€™ couples have their own â€˜restrictionsâ€™ it could be that, even though everyone at the party is â€˜good lookingâ€™, there are people there would do not have fun!
OK these are my opinions and observations. Hope Iâ€™ve not bored you all, offended you all or alienated you all, it was not my intention.
At the end of the day, surreycouple, I hope your party goes well and that you all have a good time.
Morbius (god now my fingers ache)
Can I be credited with an extra 10 posts seeing as this is sooooooo long?? ;)

17 Aug 2004

Quote by corriefem
I had already built a picture of your age group before even going to your ad but reading it you are clear about who you are. - young good looking professional - in your opinion.
I think it is not good for anyone on here to publicly state their like or dislike of one another.
I am always amused at the word 'professional' in your ad as my job and salary puts me in a bracket which classes me in on of the top salary rankings.
What I think would worry me is that if people from here who attend your party are tainted or judged as taking sides in this discussion:shock: :shock:

Hi Corriefem
Yes indeed, we have always been very clear about who/what we are (in our opinion!!) wink

And the use of the word 'proffesional' is prolific within this scene
I think it does give ppl an idea/understanding of the individual - although maybe 'Educated' might be a better substitution.
I would hope that the ppl that attend the party have a fantastic time and anyone who judges them (or us) should maybe have a look at their real reasons for judging.
Cheers :wink:
Dx

17 Aug 2004

I have to admit I'm torn between both points of view on this.
I find it hard to accept that discrimination based on looks is so strongly disapproved of in this case when nearly every advertiser in photo ads expects to see a picture before deciding if they will reply to someone, which leads me to wonder if this event had been advertised in the photo ads 'clubs and parties' section would people have been so offended?
I think the destinction between 'play' and 'party' is the key issue here. Parties are for all, but surely noone here would object to people deciding not to 'play' with others based on their personal preferences for age/race/personality/looks/gender/marital status?
We all know that looks are not everything - but if you are planning on playing (or in this case soft soft swinging) with complete strangers, they are all you've got to go on.

17 Aug 2004

Saying 'single males' is not subjective - either a bloke is or isn't single!
Saying 'no couple's is not subjective - either they are a couple (i.e. 2 people who swing together whatever their marital relationship) or they aren't.
Saying 'no ugly fat mingers' is downright rude, offensive and should not be tolerated in a mostly liberal community such as this.
Now, I'm sure there are others who are thinking "Oh, fuck off you self important, self congratulatory, jumped up little twat!! " - not me of course.
On that note I am going to lock this thread. If it is revived I shall lock it again. If it is revived I shall delete it and deactivate the user. Hopefully that is clear. mad

17 Aug 2004

I deliberately ateared clear of this in the post above, god its long enough as it is!! lol
I agree 110%:-

Quote by corriefem
I think it is not good for anyone on here to publicly state their like or dislike of one another as it breaks the community feel of a place but as I said your attitude in your thread and in here would test most people. :roll:

I tried to be as diplomatic as possible above however now i have to speak my mind!
I agree with corrie, i can't and wont presume to speak for anyone else, but your attitude stinks.
YES everyone is entitled to their own opinions, last time i checked we live in a free country with freeness of speach and freedom of choice.
YES we are all entitled to give voice to our personaly opionions.
BUT the way you word your posts leaves a lot to be desired.

Quote by surreycouple2003
Gosh!! Where to start!!
I think alot of people seem to think that we are rude for going to a party and then not inviting everyone who was there to our party?
Am I right about that?
SurreySingles party was the first one that we have attended (that wasnt organised by ourselves) and it was really an exercise in dipping our toes in the very big bath that is swinging - we had no idea what we would find! Fair enough, good point ed.
We had a very interesting time, and met some nice people, but just because of that a lot of you out there seem to feel that we owe hospitality to all?
I think not. Lack of tact, confrontational ed.
We have a specific scenario in mind for the party this saturday - and some ppl will not fit into the framework of that scenario, and if that upsets some ppl then so be it.
I have never, nor will I pander to public opinion. Lack of tact, confrontational ed.
And as for Steveg_nw & Sgt Bilko's comments - well I am sorry you feel like that, but I guess you cant get on with everyone!
What I will say is that everyone is entitled to their opinion's, view's, beliefs etc - including us!!
I find it interesting (and a little unbelievable) that some people have even been reduced to 'slagging us off' as even they put it and suggesting 'weeing on our carpets' (actually its wooden floors throughout darling!!!).
Anyway, after all this I think I may plan a party for people who's beauty is within - who's up for it???
Thanks
Dxxxx

There are other examples on the locked thread but, to be honest, I can't be bothered to copy them over.
All i will say is there is the right to have an opinion, there is the right to air that opinion, but there also comes with the right the 'duty' to execute that right in a dignified way, something I feel you have failed to do sad