i'm just watching the politics show and am absolutly gobsmaked there was a piece on it about a christian home that is taking in teenagers that are being made homeless by their own family because they have no job and they won't let them stay without a job or a parent has been made redundant so they can't afford to keep the teen in the family home
now is it just me or does this seem attrocious
i could not for one second even consider throwing one of my boys out due to finances no matter how bad they were
my kids will always have a home here even if we do have to live on fresh air
I think that sometimes there is a case for it, if the teenager is horrible to live with, lazy, on drugs, abusive etc.
Just because you give birth to them doesn't mean they have to ruin your have to walk a mile in a mans shoes before you can judge him.
We all have a breaking point. When our kids are little we can never imagine a time when we would feel anger resentment or fear of them, sadly that doesn't always last for some families.
i just cannot imagine a situation where i would make my child homeless
i was a little cow, very argumentative, but no worse than our own 2 sons are yet i was made homeless as my step father found me difficult to live with at the age of 16
i still to this day resent the fact my mother chose her husband over me so maybe that is why i would NEVER make my boys homeless no matter what they did
also maybe i am just lucky that they are essentialy good lads they might infuriate me with thier opinions sometimes but luckily thats as bad as it gets so far
just make sure if they live at home they are making a considerable amount of effort towards saving for that home they are going to want one day..its a lot easier to pay towards a mortgage that you dont currently have than one you do have..especially if it starts when you are in your thirties and have finally left mum n dad to start your own family..
no interest you see.. just to make myself clear..ten years of paying that endowment is far easier .
sorry,kids not working,dossing about all day,wouldn`t happen in my house.i know people who let this happen and i think kids need to contribute something more than their dirty washing to the house, to teach them some responsibility and the basics of living in the real world.
At 21 a 'child' is no longer a child. They are an adult and have no legal right to live in anyone's house. If they expect to be awaited on hand and foot, washing done, food provided then they might benefit from a kick up the backside and be shown the door.
Mine (21) is at home and no money coming in cos he is at college. He will be off (raises eyes in pleading to heaven) to Uni this year. He does his own washing, some minor housework, makes most of his own meals and gets himself to and from college on the tiny allowance the government gives him for the purpose. He is also fantastic company for the moment. The situation changes when he is no longer in education.
To kick a teen out simply cos of money seems very hard-faced. But an individual who is a lazy, layabout, smelly, abusive, smokes-drinks but contributes nothing to the housekeeping, well that could break even the staunchest parent's will.
Choosing a partner over a child, hmmmm. What can I say? Never been in that situation - but I can't see the family love in there.
I think probably every case needs to be taken on its own merits and shouldn't be looked at in general terms.
There are many families who find themselves in the position of having to put a child in care and not always for the oft presumed 'parental neglect' reason either.
An emotive topic for many I would say, and there but for the grace of God or whatever fate you believe in, go we.
Nola x
bouncy i wish you could live 24 hours in my house then im sure your opinion of "never making your child homeless no matter what they did" would change. this thread has hit a very raw nerve with me at the moment and for now im not gonna comment any further on it, i think some people need to look at a situation before they coment on a parent making a child homless. people that know me know exactly what iam going through and how the decision i took was heart breaking not only for me but my son!
steve i would believe the agression totally the final straw for me was wednesday when as i single parent following a divorce i was stood behind by my 14 yr old son with a feking 3 ft sameri sword, it was actually my parents who have been married 40 odd year told me no more it has to be sorted now no matter how painfull things are
Sorry I could not ever turn one of mine out, I walk hell to high water to help them overcome a problem.
I believed when I had children they are for life not until they are teenagers. As my parents say the bigger the child the bigger the problems. We all live independant lives but always know we can rely on each other when things get tough.
I can see a pint at which you have to say "No more" My parents got to that point when I was 16 and I can see why they did and though for the first 4 or 5 years I held a grudge I now 25 years later see how I was destroying their lives. OK so they had a child and they were responsible. What they weren't responsible for is the treatment that I meted out to them to get them to the point that for the sake of all that was sane I had to be made to leave.
I sincerely hope mine don't push me to that state but if they do then , with love. I'll ask them to leave I hold no bones about that. Life just aint that easy to put blanket statements out of I would or wouldn't.
To those with hellish kids that though you love until it hurts and have to make hard decisions that break your heart you have my empathy, sympathy and good wishes
