Motorway Service Areas. A rant.

9 Feb 2005

What's wrong with 'em FFS? banghead

I read somewhere in a trucking mag or paper a while back that Moto were trying to improve facilities for truck drivers at their service areas. Well I went for a shave this morning at a Moto service area and the wash basins don't exist any longer. No sir, ripped 'em right out they have. :shock: :shock:
Instead there's a shiny metal circular trough in the middle of the room with taps around it. Well not exactly taps, which I think of as something you can turn on and off, but a spout thing that dispenses a squirt (if you're lucky) when you put your hands under it.
Anyway, to get back to the problem, the mirrors were all on one of the side walls of the room so how the fuck was I gonna be able to shave? Is this progress? dunno

:confused:
Luckily the door to the shower room was unlocked and I could see a mirror on the wall with a couple of basins below. Basins? FFS. Belfast sinks! But at least they did have taps I recognised. :P
So far so good, but there was no surrounding surface to put my spongebag onto, no hook to hang my towel on. Nothing. rolleyes

:roll: :roll: :roll:
Do the people who design these facilities ever think about the kind of boring, mundane practicalities that I'm ranting about here? :huh:
You see massage chairs in some places (here and on the continent), but who wants a massage from a chair? Is it just me? Am I odd? I'd rather have a proper "hands on" massage from .................er........................ :censored:
That's enough folks. I don't want this degenerating into something sleazy. This is a serious rant, ok?. wink

:wink:

:whistling: :whistling:

9 Feb 2005

having a shave takes 10 mins, thats enough time to drink 2 koffie's which you pay for, the shave is free

9 Feb 2005

Awwwwwwwwww, you're showing your age now huuni..... :shock: :shock:
bolt

Oi ya don't shave when you're at home......so why in a service area??? dunno

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

9 Feb 2005

The subject of whether or not to shave one's "service area" has been done to death. Please use the search facility. :jagsatwork:

9 Feb 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
The subject of whether or not to shave one's "service area" has been done to death. Please use the search facility. :jagsatwork:

:eeek: :eeek:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

9 Feb 2005

Yer buggers! rolleyes

:roll:
I said this was a "serious" subject.

:smackbottom:
:huh: bolt

9 Feb 2005

Quote by Eagerslut9
Instead there's a shiny metal circular trough in the middle of the room with taps around it. Well not exactly taps, which I think of as something you can turn on and off, but a spout thing that dispenses a squirt (if you're lucky) when you put your hands under it.

FFS isn't easier to shave ina trough. All you do haul yer tackle over the edge and get the razor out. Good fer comparing styles with the other truckers I would've thought as well. Some people are never happy rolleyes

9 Feb 2005

Quote by vodka_babe22uk
dear dear eagerslut
why dont you invest in a battery razor charge it up at weekend and it should last you all week
surely you should know ur face well enough by now not to need a mirror
i dont know some blokes are so vain next thing we know ur be nicking our beauty products
voddy xxxxxx

Some men, myself included, cannot use electric shavers. They don't so much cut the hair as rip it off, and delicate creatures such as myself find themselves left with no recogniseable face, but beard still intact. confused

9 Feb 2005

Quote by Eagerslut9
What's wrong with 'em FFS?
I read somewhere in a trucking mag or paper a while back that Moto were trying to improve facilities for truck drivers at their service areas. Well I went for a shave this morning at a Moto service area and the wash basins don't exist any longer. No sir, ripped 'em right out they have. :shock: :shock:
Instead there's a shiny metal circular trough in the middle of the room with taps around it. Well not exactly taps, which I think of as something you can turn on and off, but a spout thing that dispenses a squirt (if you're lucky) when you put your hands under it.
Anyway, to get back to the problem, the mirrors were all on one of the side walls of the room so how the fuck was I gonna be able to shave? Is this progress? :confused:
Luckily the door to the shower room was unlocked and I could see a mirror on the wall with a couple of basins below. Basins? FFS. Belfast sinks! But at least they did have taps I recognised. :P
So far so good, but there was no surrounding surface to put my spongebag onto, no hook to hang my towel on. Nothing. :roll: :roll: :roll:
Do the people who design these facilities ever think about the kind of boring, mundane practicalities that I'm ranting about here? :huh:
You see massage chairs in some places (here and on the continent), but who wants a massage from a chair? Is it just me? Am I odd? I'd rather have a proper "hands on" massage from .................er........................ :censored:
That's enough folks. I don't want this degenerating into something sleazy. This is a serious rant, ok?. :wink:
:whistling: :whistling:

:rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao: WITHyou - not ATyou
Welcome back to the glorious UK Eager ! ! ! !
Just parked up, too tired to post a full answer.
Btw - you didn't mention the Â£15 parking fee in order to get your "free shower" :wink:

9 Feb 2005

We're familiar with every service station from Stirling to Derby after the weekend sad

Bastard heating broke in the car on the way to Glasgow on Saturday :(
Was only 3 degrees on the way home :( no heating .... thankfully I got a lift home with another person biggrin

but Morbius nearon froze hence stopping at all the services !!!!!! tooks us 6 hours to get home :(
C x

9 Feb 2005

Hmmm... This has got me thinking... (Oi, no smart comments about that please. ;) )
Surely there'd be a market for barber-style 'shave stations' at service stations where the weary and face-fungus encrusted road warrior can go and get a professional shave...

10 Feb 2005

Quote by flapjackboy
Surely there'd be a market for barber-style 'shave stations' at service stations where the weary and face-fungus encrusted road warrior (like it) can go and get a professional shave...

Quote by MQ a while ago
Maybe some of us girls could send dambuster their location then if he ever gets stuck locally he knows who to contact :twisted: One way of passing a few hours of boredom

Still grinning from ear to ear.
Mmmm. How do I do this and still maintain discretion??
There are a couple (?) of places that I'm lucky enough to be able find good company and a shower, a with homemade cup of tea.
A new one may have been added today.
Last night, I couldn't get on either of the two parking areas I tried, so parked up on the Ind est of the place I was tipping this morning. No shower - no shave.
To make matters worse, I knew I was within 5 miles of someone I really wanted to meet, having met all too briefly at a munch. ANDI would have an hour for myself this morning.
With thanks to the cellular network and text messaging, I was able not only to make contact, but also have a lay down bath and a shave.
But my biggest thanks are to the young lady who allowed me into her home as a scruff and let me leave feeling almost human again.
Thank you

10 Feb 2005

:idea:

10 Feb 2005

hot dammmm
wish I had been that escourt biggrin

10 Feb 2005

Quote by kristof
hot dammmm

Not when I forget to program the heater to come on half an hour before I get up I'm not ! ! redface

! !
licalgem's account reminds me of when my ex came out with me for "a couple" of days. We had so much much fun the couple of days turned into 3 months. I/we were very lucky in that we were getting on well at the time rolleyes

The one thing that sticks in my mind the most about the whole 3 months was that she said to me quietly one day "Well, it certainly opens your eyes"
When I asked her to explain, she went on to say that the high driving position let's you see just what does go on, on the roads and just how shitty the facilities in the UK are for trampers, and the attitudes of the people we're forced to deal with on a daily basis mad

TBH, most of it just passes me by these days. I suppose I've become a little jaded and numb to it all. Well - mostly.
And all just so (openly sexist comment) you girlies can have beans on the shelves of your local Tesco wink

If you've got it - it came by truck. (The only thing we don't deliver is babies)

10 Feb 2005

I agree with you about motorway service stations, having so far this week driven approx. 1300 miles, I thing I hate is the magic taps........... hand driers that don't work.........toilets that are closed because they are mopping half the floor, why cannot we walk on the other half of the floor........

10 Feb 2005

Quote by vodka_babe22uk
dear dear eagerslut
why dont you invest in a battery razor charge it up at weekend and it should last you all week
surely you should know ur face well enough by now not to need a mirror
i dont know some blokes are so vain next thing we know ur be nicking our beauty products

Hey Voddy, got any moisturising cream? :shock: wink

10 Feb 2005

stick to the laybys that you love eager lol or work harder on making nice friends round the country who will let u enjoy the use of there sinks lol
or grow a beard

10 Feb 2005

Quote by leprechaun
or grow a beard

:shock: :shock:
Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
worship

16 Feb 2005

Quote by Eagerslut9
What's wrong with 'em FFS?
I read somewhere in a trucking mag or paper a while back that Moto were trying to improve facilities for truck drivers at their service areas. Well I went for a shave this morning at a Moto service area and the wash basins don't exist any longer. No sir, ripped 'em right out they have. :shock: :shock:
Instead there's a shiny metal circular trough in the middle of the room with taps around it. Well not exactly taps, which I think of as something you can turn on and off, but a spout thing that dispenses a squirt (if you're lucky) when you put your hands under it.
Anyway, to get back to the problem, the mirrors were all on one of the side walls of the room so how the fuck was I gonna be able to shave? Is this progress? :confused:
Luckily the door to the shower room was unlocked and I could see a mirror on the wall with a couple of basins below. Basins? FFS. Belfast sinks! But at least they did have taps I recognised. :P
So far so good, but there was no surrounding surface to put my spongebag onto, no hook to hang my towel on. Nothing. :roll: :roll: :roll:
Do the people who design these facilities ever think about the kind of boring, mundane practicalities that I'm ranting about here? :huh:
You see massage chairs in some places (here and on the continent), but who wants a massage from a chair? Is it just me? Am I odd? I'd rather have a proper "hands on" massage from .................er........................ :censored:
That's enough folks. I don't want this degenerating into something sleazy. This is a serious rant, ok?. :wink:
:whistling: :whistling:

Here's another one for ya Eager.
How about Service Areas that . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . CLOSE FFS ! ! ! ! ! mad

:x :x
Just pulled onto Cambridge Services, went across to the main building at 10:45 to find some fucking jobsworth locking the showers as "We close at 11, mate" Mate ????
I felt like ripping his face off ! ! !
So tonight this weary and face-fungus encrusted road warrior (TM flapjackboy) will have to thank his lucky stars for Wetones and Andrex moist ! ! ! ! FFS ! ! ! ! !
:x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x
Tell me - why the fluck do we do this ? ? ? ?

17 Feb 2005

Quote by dambuster
Here's another one for ya Eager.
How about Service Areas that . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . CLOSE FFS ! ! ! ! ! :x :x
Just pulled onto Cambridge Services, went across to the main building at 10:45 to find some fucking jobsworth locking the showers as "We close at 11, mate" Mate ????
I felt like ripping his face off ! ! !
So tonight this weary and face-fungus encrusted road warrior (TM flapjackboy) will have to thank his lucky stars for Wetones and Andrex moist ! ! ! ! FFS ! ! ! ! !
:x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x
Tell me - why the fluck do we do this ? ? ? ?

:therethere: Awwwwwww sad

17 Feb 2005

"Why do we do this?" dunno

Tell me about it DB! :undecided: :undecided:

17 Feb 2005

Quote by Eagerslut9
"Why do we do this?"
Tell me about it DB! :undecided: :undecided:

Well..................It pays the bills, and what other job would you get the opportunities in, to tart yourselves in every layby the length and breath of the continent??? :dunno:

17 Feb 2005

Quote by KcKat
"Why do we do this?"
Tell me about it DB! :undecided: :undecided:

Well..................It pays the bills, and what other job would you get the opportunities in, to tart yourselves in every layby the length and breath of the continent??? :dunno:
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm I can't argue with that hunni! :cheers: drinkies

:twisted:

17 Feb 2005

Well I did offer my bath or shower.......................

18 Feb 2005

Ok if either stuck in Warrington, my facilities are on offer (bath/shower/bacon buttie) I understand the lack of facilities, but its the job u chose, I should shut up now, I've had a bad bad day in my choice of job :shock:

18 Feb 2005

Quote by Sarah1448
Well I did offer my bath or shower.......................

You did.
And I should have taken you
up on the offer. :twisted:

18 Feb 2005

Quote by lilacgem
Ok if either stuck in Warrington, my facilities are on offer (bath/shower/bacon buttie) I understand the lack of facilities, but its the job u chose, I should shut up now, I've had a bad bad day in my choice of job :shock:

Back scrub ? ?

18 Feb 2005

I spend half my life on the M1.... travelling between Thirsk and Dunstable to see Wishmaster.......
Service Stations are crap but a necessary evil...........lol
Why do u want to shave in one???
If u r a driver surely u r given an overnight allowance..................so don't be so tight.............stay in a Hotel and have a proper shave.......or grow a beard when u r working...........us girlies like the rough look..............lol lol lol
hugs and cuddles
Blondeslave

18 Feb 2005

My facilities are always open for any of you should you be near but if you have a hairy back dont expect a back rub. I have a phobia of hairy backs.