My most humble apologies.

12 Jul 2005

I offer my most humble apologies to the menfolk of Swinging Heaven.
For last night, I committed thecardinal sin
My excuse, albeit unworthy?
Once again; I have allowed my little head to over-rule my big head. Who was is that said "God gave man a dick anda brain, but just enough blood to run only oneof them at any given time"
Having spent far too long searching for the very best raspberries, kiwi fruit and two types of soft, juicy, dribbly melon; time was marching on, and I was ever conscious that my house guest needed to be up at sparrow fart in order to be at work on time.
With that in mind I stayed indoors and started to prep the dessert, the soft fruits for playing with later and to do something else that slips my mind just now.
So really, I had little alternative than to commit the sin.
I fear what's worse than actually committing the sin, is that photographic evidence exists
I of beg you; please find in within yourselves to not feel it necessary to drum me out of the society in punishment for my huge indiscretion, and failings.
If you can do this, I give you my word - I will do my utmost from here-on-in to resist the charms and temptations of ALL hlb's, with their fluttering eyelashes, sexy little "fuck me" wriggles and any thought of that "puzzled look" that flits across their face in certain circumstances - and attempt to regain your trust in maintaining the the standards of the Swinging Heaven All Men's Society - however low they may be set !
Guys, I throw myself worship

at your feet in the hope of finding your mercy and compassion.
I will of course, consider most acts of penance that you feel it necessary to impose.

12 Jul 2005

Sorry, I havent a blind clue as to what you are on about
redface

12 Jul 2005

wether to

or :upset: cos I am :confused:
Fred wink

12 Jul 2005

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Yeah, go on DB, tell us. WHAT exactly did you do? dunno

We want all the gory details then we can pronounce judgment on yer! :grin: :grin:
Looks like a case of you having too much time on yer hands. Get back to work you lazy git! :huh:
The rest of us are working overtime keeping the wheels of commerce turning! wink

:wink:
Waiting........................................... innocent

:whistling:

12 Jul 2005

Dammy,
Fess up babe.......... what did you do ???

12 Jul 2005

My guess is Dammie has been shagging the melon lol

12 Jul 2005

you've lost me as well

12 Jul 2005

He probably he unintentional sex with his house guests not realizing what he did and
beliving it only when the showed him the pics later.

12 Jul 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
My guess is Dammie has been shagging the melon

Oh bollox - don't tell me that'sa sin too redface

12 Jul 2005

Quote by dambuster
My guess is Dammie has been shagging the melon

Oh bollox - don't tell me that'sa sin too redface

Depends who you serve it to aftewards :rascal:

12 Jul 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
My guess is Dammie has been shagging the melon

Oh bollox - don't tell me that'sa sin too redface

Depends who you serve it to aftewards :rascal:
Hmmmm - good point
(serve the dick? or the melon????)

12 Jul 2005

Quote by dambuster
My guess is Dammie has been shagging the melon

Oh bollox - don't tell me that'sa sin too redface

Depends who you serve it to aftewards :rascal:
Hmmmm - good point
(serve the dick? or the melon????)
Both at the same time if your lucky :lol2:

12 Jul 2005

Can I have the dick and raspberries please? :P

12 Jul 2005

Quote by Sarah
Can I have the dick and raspberries please? :P

And can the rest of us have some sense confused

:

12 Jul 2005

Quote by Fred aka Medic 1
And can the rest of us have some sense :

From me ? ? ? ? ? ?
In this heat ? ? ? ? ? ?
Feeling as I do ? ? ? ? ? ?
You must be joking ! ! !

12 Jul 2005

Fluckin' 'ell I love a good confession - especially when I don't know what it's for!! confused

Reminds me of my sweet little Angelica trying to get out that she'd locked the keys in the car for the second time in as many weeks!! Took her about two weeks to get it it out!
C'mon - the 'ultimate crime's' gotta be worth spitting out man!!

12 Jul 2005

Definitely a case of too much sun and too much leisure time! rolleyes

:roll: :twisted:

12 Jul 2005

Quote by dambuster

And can the rest of us have some sense :

From me ? ? ? ? ? ?
In this heat ? ? ? ? ? ?
Feeling as I do ? ? ? ? ? ?

lol

Well at least thats a start
Fred :wink:

12 Jul 2005

Sorry - I got sidetracked a little.
To my eternal shame - not only did I allow something to happen - I actually asked a . . . .
GIRL . . . . . . . .
to cook the BBQ ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
That's right - a GIRL used my best kebab stand

And what's worse ????
The pork loins and garlic mushrooms were perfect
The only saving grace is that she couldn't master the "manly, macho" barbie stance ! ! !

12 Jul 2005

Why is she stood in a giant kitty litter? :shock:
Big cats round your way, Dammy?
Mal
wink

12 Jul 2005

Quote by Mal
Why is she stood in a giant kitty litter? :shock:
Big cats round your way, Dammy?
Mal

I make NO pussy comments Mal :wink:

12 Jul 2005

Did she wash up after and clean the barbie the next day too? lol

Sounds like a real treasure. kiss

Where's the catch? :undecided: :undecided: :undecided:
Does she darn socks too? It always seems such a waste to throw 'em away just 'cos they've got too many holes in the toes to wear any longer. :shock: :shock: :shock:

12 Jul 2005

I'm quite worried now - I thought it was obvious what he did! :shock:
*Kat wanders off to book a shedload of therapy sessions*
Dammy, your penance is that you must shave your moustache off. cool

lhk
Kat

12 Jul 2005

Excuse me when you stand at the kebab stand in yer best pink high heels - you'll relinquish the manly, macho BBQ stance!! But I bet there's no photo evidence of that - I bet!!!

12 Jul 2005

Phew........thank god for that....................
I thought you had shagged one of the kiwis ( fruit that is, not the islanders) lol

:lol:

12 Jul 2005

She sounds fantastic, ask her if she can salvage my washing biggrin

:D :D

12 Jul 2005

Quote by EagerSlut
Did she wash up after and clean the barbie the next day too?

Good point - no she bluddy (tm Missy) didn't ! ! ! !

Quote by KitKat
Dammy, your penance is that you must shave your moustache off.

Wot ? ? ? ? ?
Allof it ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

Quote by Choon
Excuse me when you stand at the kebab stand in yer best pink high heels - you'll relinquish the manly, macho BBQ stance!! But I bet there's no photo evidence of that - I bet!!!

Tune, step away from the Hobgoblin. That's not me in the pic. I don't have any best pink heels. Closest you'll come to that would be HERE. But a) they were red not pink and b) they weren't mine.

Quote by He who can't do the washing
She sounds fantastic, ask her if she can salvage my washing :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dino - you'd be better off asking her Mum :shock: - or - following the advice I gave in your thread - RUN AWAY ! ! ! ! ! bolt

:bolt:

12 Jul 2005

OMG! Be prepared for a bluddy (tm Missy) good bout of Babycham drinking when you get to the Notts Munch. I'm gonna make sure they won't serve you anything else evil

:evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

:smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom:
The alternative is to do 14 hail Marys, a bit oF self-flagellation (it's a word. Go look it up), donating a months wage to The Church of the Eternal Holiday (aka the church of the eternal damnation depending on what you want) care of Mr. Davej Sir or myself and a "ommmmmmmm" meditational chant.
Choice is yours really............
Please make checks payable to easy-Davej Services and Religious Groups PLC. Ta. :cheers:

12 Jul 2005

Quote by dambuster
Excuse me when you stand at the kebab stand in yer best pink high heels - you'll relinquish the manly, macho BBQ stance!! But I bet there's no photo evidence of that - I bet!!!

Tune, step away from the Hobgoblin. That's not me in the pic. I don't have any best pink heels. Closest you'll come to that would be HERE. But a) they were red not pink and b) they weren't mine.

To start I'm not on the Hobgoblin - I'm on the Hoegaarden (nevr seem to spell that right - can't think why?? dunno

)
Well in the linked photo I can definitely see you bar-b- queing - that or something's smokin'!!! :twisted: