Having just finished my distance learning course in fortune telling, I would like to offer my services.
Cross my palm with something shiney (or slimey even) and I will look into you swinging future.
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Mystic Smeg
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Quote by Libra-Love
OK....a snog and a lick from me.
Me first :P
I see a tall dark stranger - but that is another story.
Now lets look at your future!
Hmmm, oowww, mmmm, :shock: OMG!
Beware of men carrying ripe bananas. Look for the colour blue, it will bring you great happiness (sorry typo - that should be a great penis). Look to the starts (stay on your back more) and things will come to a head.
I am sorry that is all I can tell you - the vision is clouding.
Quote by MQ
Please can you tell me what my future holds, I hope this link provides you with what you were looking for
OK let's see... ooowww , hhhmmm, eewww.
Beware of women carring pointy nosed pliers! I really do mean that - stay well clear of them!
Guard that which you hold most precious, someone will try to make it disappear. I see your precious thing being smothered by someones head.
The colour green will be good for you and bring you luck.
Quote by honeyriderx
Right a fifty pence piece and a chewed up sticky toffee ............then I'll see you right after depending on what you tell me :twisted:: :?:
Let's see... oww, hmmm, wow.
I see leather, lots of wet leather. Wet hot and steamy. I think it is a man? I see hands rubbing and circling the wet leather. White foamy liquid dripping and being smothered all over. Now I see rubber, thin rubber.....
Bollocks! Sorry
it wasn't a vision at all, I was watching the window cleaner. Quote by Marya
Ooooh! Please can I have a go? I have some tin foil and a sticky bogie - all yours!
Lets see now...
owww, hmmm, oh yes!
I see lots of legs. I see men with whips and bare buttocks. The men are riding hard. There is lots of sweat and frantic breathing more whips and buttocks and legs...
Do you like horse racing?
Quote by PoloLady
Right a fifty pence piece and a chewed up sticky toffee ............then I'll see you right after depending on what you tell me :twisted:
Let's see... oww, hmmm, wow.
I see leather, lots of wet leather. Wet hot and steamy. I think it is a man? I see hands rubbing and circling the wet leather. White foamy liquid dripping and being smothered all over. Now I see rubber, thin rubber.....
Bollocks! Sorry
it wasn't a vision at all, I was watching the window cleaner.Bugger there was me thinking Mr Honeyrider was gonna clean my saddle and bridle foe me.........oh well..........window cleaner you say... :P ....now there's another thought excuse me while I ponder on ...the window cleaner, polo lady and myself getting all lathered up.... :twisted: :twisted:
Quote by Lazeeboy
Just put a bar of chocolate on the radiator,melted and sticky plus silver wrapper.
It's all yours.
ok - lets have a look...
oww, hmmmm, ahhhh!
I see a woman with long flowing locks of blonde hair. Her arms stretched out towards you her mouth open. You are walking towards her. Now she is on your bed. You mount her and give her a passionate kiss. I hear a load noise and the whooshing of air.....
now, I see a punchure kit and a foot pump!
Quote by PoloLady
Ooooh! Please can I have a go? I have some tin foil and a sticky bogie - all yours!
Lets see now...
owww, hmmm, oh yes!
I see lots of legs. I see men with whips and bare buttocks. The men are riding hard. There is lots of sweat and frantic breathing more whips and buttocks and legs...
Do you like horse racing?
Bloody hell give me the name of your stable...wouldn't mind getting caught in the hay with that lot :twisted:
Quote by PoloLady
Ooooh! Please can I have a go? I have some tin foil and a sticky bogie - all yours!
Lets see now...
owww, hmmm, oh yes!
I see lots of legs. I see men with whips and bare buttocks. The men are riding hard. There is lots of sweat and frantic breathing more whips and buttocks and legs...
Do you like horse racing?
Now I've got a dilemma! Go to the bookies or organise a greedy girl night??
Decisions, decisions .....
Sex God
Err, do you see any laybyes in your crystal ball Polo? 
Something slimy in the palm of your hand? :shock: :shock: :shock:
Um, can I bring that up on another occasion?
ops: :oops: :oops:
:twisted: :twisted:
Something slimy in the palm of your hand? :shock: :shock: :shock:
Um, can I bring that up on another occasion?
ops: :oops: :oops: :twisted: :twisted:
Quote by PoloLady
Just put a bar of chocolate on the radiator,melted and sticky plus silver wrapper.
It's all yours.
ok - lets have a look...
oww, hmmmm, ahhhh!
I see a woman with long flowing locks of blonde hair. Her arms stretched out towards you her mouth open. You are walking towards her. Now she is on your bed. You mount her and give her a passionate kiss. I hear a load noise and the whooshing of air.....
now, I see a punchure kit and a foot pump!
Truly truly mystic!
How could you possibly have known?
Checking cctv now.
Sex God
Quote by Libra-Love
Wow....a great penis :shock::twisted:
I bought one too. A strap-on actually.
But it's pink, not blue :P
Both my strap ons are pink, just bought a new one last week, very pretty it is too.
Ok, can you read mine to please? I pledge an old sweet wrapper and a pic of a politician
That should cover shiney and slimey......Ooooo, i'm kinda looking forward to this! :D
Quote by PoloLady
Just put a bar of chocolate on the radiator,melted and sticky plus silver wrapper.
It's all yours.
ok - lets have a look...
oww, hmmmm, ahhhh!
I see a woman with long flowing locks of blonde hair. Her arms stretched out towards you her mouth open. You are walking towards her. Now she is on your bed. You mount her and give her a passionate kiss. I hear a load noise and the whooshing of air.....
now, I see a punchure kit and a foot pump!
I keep telling him that I have to go back to my plazzie surgeon, a fluckin foot pump won't do it!
Quote by Eagerslut9
Err, do you see any laybyes in your crystal ball Polo?
Something slimy in the palm of your hand? :shock: :shock: :shock:
Um, can I bring that up on another occasion?
:twisted: :twisted:
I would love to tell you what I have seen - but business is business, either grease my palm or sod off! :P
Quote by little gem
Wow....a great penis :shock:
I bought one too. A strap-on actually.
But it's pink, not blue :P
Both my strap ons are pink, just bought a new one last week, very pretty it is too.
Ok, can you read mine to please? I pledge an old sweet wrapper and a pic of a politician
That should cover shiney and slimey......Ooooo, i'm kinda looking forward to this! :D
Ok....
mmm, owww, hmmmmm.
I see legs. I see running. I see ladders, I wonder if this is going to involve firemen?
I see a hole getting slowly bigger and bigger, tugging and pulling.
Nope - it's your tights, you've poked your toe through yet another pair!
Quote by KitKat
On a more serious note,
Polo, this might be a course others would be interested in taking, do you have to apply for it, or does it just come through your door because they know you are going to apply?
Oh - BTW, here is a piece of tinsel from the tree, what is in store for me?
lhk
Kat
No there is an entry test - though it is more like a medical (at least that is what the bloke told me)
OK here we go...
owww, hmmmm, ahhhhh.
I see you bent over! Your on all fours. Hips thrusting, back arching. Your gasping for breath and dribbling round the mouth.....
stay of the prawns, it's food poisoning!
Quote by Noel1977
Can you tell me my future please? I have some shiny foil mince pie cases you can have or some slimy fat i cut off the gammon joint the other day!
OK
hmmmm, owwww, errrrr.
I see a gloved hand touching your neck, running the fingers down your body to the top of your trousers. The glove is tight rubber clinging to the hand. Your trousers are being unzipped. The gloved hand goes in and firmly grips your...........OMG!
Do you have to do that whilst you are washing-up? And your marigolds are too small!
Quote by PoloLady
No there is an entry test - though it is more like a medical (at least that is what the bloke told me)
ahhh! fell for that old chestnut, he must have seen you coming.
Quote by Pololady:shock: I thought you were winding us up ... bugger - sorry Mrs FC, cancel the prawn cocktail starters!
OK here we go...
owww, hmmmm, ahhhhh.
I see you bent over! Your on all fours. Hips thrusting, back arching. Your gasping for breath and dribbling round the mouth.....
stay of the prawns, it's food poisoning!
lhk
Quote by PoloLady
Can you tell me my future please? I have some shiny foil mince pie cases you can have or some slimy fat i cut off the gammon joint the other day!
OK
hmmmm, owwww, errrrr.
I see a gloved hand touching your neck, running the fingers down your body to the top of your trousers. The glove is tight rubber clinging to the hand. Your trousers are being unzipped. The gloved hand goes in and firmly grips your...........OMG!
Do you have to do that whilst you are washing-up? And your marigolds are too small!
lol washing up can get very exciting at times and maybe I had run out of washing up liquid and needed a subsitute
Sex God
Quote by Pololady:shock: I thought you were winding us up ... bugger - sorry Mrs FC, cancel the prawn cocktail starters!
OK here we go...
owww, hmmmm, ahhhhh.
I see you bent over! Your on all fours. Hips thrusting, back arching. Your gasping for breath and dribbling round the mouth.....
stay of the prawns, it's food poisoning!
lhk
Hummmm !!
Just cucumber sarnies then... :roll: Can't go wrong with them KitKat.Oooh PoloLady what can you see for me? I have a tin full of shiny wrappers from Christmas
Quote by KitKat
No there is an entry test - though it is more like a medical (at least that is what the bloke told me)
ahhh! fell for that old chestnut, he must have seen you coming.
I should imagine he did (twice) from were he was standing. I wondered why he had the examination table with leg stirrups?
