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New to all of this - but desperately need sex today

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Quote by neilinleeds
hhhhmmmmm!!!!
far be it from me to suggest that we are in any way, shape or form becoming ageist or sizeist! i'm disgusted with you! ((( specially your mate alex! poor lass! no wonder you kept her quiet! )))
neil x x x ;-)

Sir
I know not what you are referring to? Ageist! Sizeist! Surely everyone is equal and accepted here at Minging Heaven.
By the way, I'm a really nice guy! smile
Yours Norman wink
Bloody Hell :!:
Sorry I've been gone so long. I was the 11th hole during Paul's round of golf. Mind you, I was everyone elses hole 11 as well :giggle: Never played with so many balls in all my life. Flucking amazin it was..............
I've been shagged bandy since just after 3 pm. Talk about marking their score cards lol
Not making any comment about Sarge but I did see him peeping from under a bush then I believe between me thighs..........you gotta love them dirty greasy hands of his.
The sand in the crack of me arse was great for absorbency and boy did I need it. There was a coach load in from the Swinging Heaven chatroom rolleyes Some of them were a bit rough round the edges, talk about a turn on :giggle:
Still, at least the sand helped to knock the cheesey crusts off :lol:
Yours shaggedout
Dawn :silly:
Thanks for the lovely replies... Also, my PM box is overflowing ..
Just back from golf (a shite round as expected)... and my neighbour complained to me about all the "women" that had been banging at my door all day... FFS I said - you could have taken a couple of them on - as they were up for it!!!
Dawn: Thanks - you sound absolutely wonderful. Some would say " The woman of my dreams" .. Others would not say that
Juliett: You are on girl
Clare: Where the f*ck were you?
Celticq: You can carry my "bag" any time - darling
Sarge: NO!!!!
Mal: I'll have you know that C did not turn me down today!!!!! She had some decorating to do!!!!
Lovecommando: Sorry mate - think you might have the wrong end of the stick (so, to speak
Paul
Dear Alex;
You and your sister look amazing!!! When can you get here!!!
Paul xx
Quote by Fun365
Dear Alex;
You and your sister look amazing!!! When can you get here!!!
Paul xx

We are just rounding the bend now - hang on in there!
We are all worked up and gagging for it now!
Quote by Alexandra
Dear Alex;
You and your sister look amazing!!! When can you get here!!!
Paul xx

We are just rounding the bend now - hang on in there!
We are all worked up and gagging for it now!
Can I watch? :shock:
Dawn :silly:
Quote by Dawn_Mids
Dear Alex;
You and your sister look amazing!!! When can you get here!!!
Paul xx

We are just rounding the bend now - hang on in there!
We are all worked up and gagging for it now!
Can I watch? :shock:
Dawn :silly:
Watch Dawn? -
Come here sweety, you can join in! evil
Er...is that a no then? dunno
Didn't I say I was a really nice guy! smile
PM me.
Norman.
Quote by Lovecommando
Er...is that a no then? dunno
Didn't I say I was a really nice guy! smile
PM me.
Norman.

Oh bloody hell.. Okay then
Paul
Quote by Fun365
Mal: I'll have you know that C did not turn me down today!!!!! She had some decorating to do!!!!

No Paul, you misunderstood what she meant when she said she had a roomful of stripping to do rotflmao
Mal
wink
Quote by Alexandra
Dear Alex;
You and your sister look amazing!!! When can you get here!!!
Paul xx

We are just rounding the bend now - hang on in there!
We are all worked up and gagging for it now!
Can I watch? :shock:
Dawn :silly:
Watch Dawn -
Come here sweety, you can join in! evil
In my dreams..... :cry:
Paul
Quote by mal609

Mal: I'll have you know that C did not turn me down today!!!!! She had some decorating to do!!!!

No Paul, you misunderstood what she meant when she said she had a roomful of stripping to do rotflmao
Mal
wink
Bugger;.... far too many times I have got things wrong confused :?
How's the Donkey?
Paul
Quote by Fun365

Mal: I'll have you know that C did not turn me down today!!!!! She had some decorating to do!!!!

No Paul, you misunderstood what she meant when she said she had a roomful of stripping to do rotflmao
Mal
wink
Bugger;.... far too many times I have got things wrong confused :?
How's the Donkey?
Paul

WooHoo!!!
Hey Dawn, Sis!!!!
There's this Mal fellah come to visit Paul - apparently he's HUNG LIKE A DONKEY!!!!!!
Quote by Alexandra

Mal: I'll have you know that C did not turn me down today!!!!! She had some decorating to do!!!!

No Paul, you misunderstood what she meant when she said she had a roomful of stripping to do rotflmao
Mal
wink
Bugger;.... far too many times I have got things wrong confused :?
How's the Donkey?
Paul

WooHoo!!!
Hey Dawn, Sis!!!!
There's this Mal fellah come to visit Paul - apparently he's HUNG LIKE A DONKEY!!!!!!

Eerrrrmmm.... Sorry about this Alex..
But Mal is in love with a donkey.
Paul
Oh noooooo
Oh well Paul - each to their own!
Now - you ready for Sis an me ?
How do you want us?
Quote by Alexandra
Oh noooooo
Oh well Paul - each to their own!
Now - you ready for Sis an me ?
How do you want us?

I'd always be ready for you "ladies"
How about you bring round a curry and we can watch the football first?
Sounds good to me
See you soon
Paul xx
Quote by Fun365
Oh noooooo
Oh well Paul - each to their own!
Now - you ready for Sis an me ?
How do you want us?

I'd always be ready for you "ladies"
How about you bring round a curry and we can watch the football first?
Sounds good to me
See you soon
Paul xx
Okay - we've got Vindaloo, Onion Bhajis and some newcastle brown to collect - we'll be there in half an hour.
oooo I can see we're going to be in for a steamy night Sis!
Quote by Fun365
Oh noooooo
Oh well Paul - each to their own!
Now - you ready for Sis an me ?
How do you want us?

I'd always be ready for you "ladies"
How about you bring round a curry and we can watch the football first?
Sounds good to me
See you soon
Paul xx
Me and sis are naked and you wonna watch the bloody footy????
Ok Norman, your on! Bring the donkey lol
Dawn :silly:
paul!
i note how skilfully you've avoided the "are you bi" response. it's a common one in my experience! altogether much more common than the "jesus neil when you gonna come and sh*g my brains out in a golf course bunker?" perhaps it's just me! i wouldn't know! dunno
rotflmao
and if any of the girlies feel i deserve a smackbottom for being so crass and vulgar, well just follow the WWW down there! :rotflmao:
we live in hope ya know!!! ;-)
neil x x x ;-)