Many things I could see being a potential disaster...
1. being liberally doused in "eau de pit-pong"
2. having the personality of a floorboard
3. unable to maintain eye-contact, giving you the impression they'd rather be wrestling a yeti, naked, in the himalayas than sat here with you.
4. as a couple, introducing yourselves at which point you are ignored and your partner is immediately fawned upon and played for unceremoniously.
5. being drunk. If you can't do it without resorting to alcohol, then don't do it. One for "nerves" is fine. Fifteen for nerves isn't.
6. as you say Nola, bad dental hygiene, an instant turn off.
7. Seeing them blowing the bar staff for a vodka and coke when you arrive.
8. Using their cleavage as a handy place to put their drinks, especially if it is a chap.
9. Expecting to find a 35 year old nymphette and turning up to find an utterly unconvincing 62 year old transvestite who still managed to miss shaving off half their moustach and still has his British Gas name card on full display under his summer dress.
10. Seeing them taking notes as you chat so they can compare you and rank you on the "Rate my swinger" website.
11. Turning up to meet a couple when you can tell one of them is there under protest, or that they've had an argument previously and are trying to disguise it.
12. If they are wearing Crocs.
13. If they are wearing football kits and singing football songs with their mates.
14. If they tell you they'll be carrying a carnation and when you walk through the door, they just fail to hide it in time before you recognise them and you can tell by the look of unutterable disappointment on their face that you are not quite what they hoped for.
15. If they spent most of the night talking about their car, shoes, hair etc as if it was their partner.
16. They are eating Marmite.
17. They turn up a little late and say "I'm terribly sorry, but I got held up at the BNP rally where they wanted me to speak..."
18. If they've forgotten to ask their nurse to undo the straightjacket before they come out.
19. If they have a laugh that makes you want to ram their head into the "Theakston's Old Peculiar" pump.
20. Leaping on you the moment you arrive and ramming their tongues down your throat before you've even had chance for a white wine and some Salt & Vinegar peanuts.
But number whatever it is isn't well made; I'm rather partial to a man in Crocs :twisted:. And to Marmite.
I've never had a disastrous meet though so have no business here!
*prints off Resonance's list to take tonight*
:scared:
*puts on brave hat*
On a school night too!! :bounce:
We met a couple in a pub,started off male half was obviously a smoker not a problem he popped outside every now and again...got invited back to their place...bad move...the guy was a fucking chain smoker...before he had finished one he was already rolling up his smell of smoke was rank!
turning up pissed and taking a chunk out of your fire surround, smashing an expensive irreplacable ornament then having to pay for the taxi to send the twat home 25 quid
Being in a pub with a lass who
A. Laughed like Janice, Chandlers girlfriend from friends.
B. Kept holding my hand and telling me I was sensative.
C. Tried to lick my ear...in the pub...
Reacher
ive had to many bad meets to recall them all, few spring to mind...
guy turned up at least 10 years older, 5 inches shorter and wearing crocs.
turn up with no money expecting me to pay for everything.
growled in a leary kinda way then licked my face.
turned up and obv had not washed for over at least 2 weeks, or brushed teeth and called me a timewaster when after being in my company for nomore than 2 mins i declined " to bend over and let him ram his stinky meat rod in my cunt" lovely language,not.
oh i cant tell about them all, but might give an insight why i decided to stop swing meets.
xx fem xx
do remember one meet....a few years back now...I guessed there was a problem when I arrived and saw the grass was as high as the window sill. I remember thinking, if inside is anything like outside I'm in trouble here. When inside..it was rank !! The guy had orange nicotine arms...yes it had gone past his fingers and all way up to elbow !! Looked across at the lady..and she had dirty finger nails...and so when time came....I said.." oh no!! I never play on first meet .....actually is .time I was going"..and very quickly made a for the door and was away !!!!!
Reading this lot just reminds me why I never arrange meets without a social coffee first! :scared:
I've only ever done it a couple of times early on and thankfully most of them were great. I do remember one evening though - met a couple at their home, it was supposed to be a social meet but things just progressed, boundaries and preferences discussed in chats days before etc. The wife was very sexy and we were getting it on while hubby sat back and watched the proceedings. All was going fine, wifey indulging in a little rug munching when......she spat on me :shock:
All I could think of was 'believe me sweetcheeks, the last thing you're gonna need down there is MORE lubrication!' To say it ruined the moment was an understatement! :shock:
or a crap/lacklustre snog. Instant turn offs. 
:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: 
