Hi, being a very busy time of year Santa (aka Father C) is concerned that he might not have time to answer all of the 'Dear Santa' letters he is receiving this year.
Being a personal friend of his (and Mrs C - wow what a horny couple) I have been asked to give a helping hand. What I didn't realise at the time of agreeing to this favour is that he would ask me to screen and reply to all the letters from Swinging Heaven users.
But there you have it - I had agreed to help and I could not go back on a promise.
So, please forward all of your 'Dear Santa' letters via this threadand I will do my best to make a fair and unbias decision and reply.
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Santa's Post Box
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Quote by ajg426
dear santa,i have been (ok-not that good)can i please have some sexy ladies in stockings for xmas-promise to play with them a lot and look after themi meant real ladies(told you i aint been that good!
Dear ajg
Thank you for your letter. Unfortunately we are a little short on the sexy lady front. However, we can just about manage to fill your request.... on their way as we speak are Wang, Choi and Nihai, 3 very lovely sexy lady(boys).
Have fun and Happy Christmas!
Quote by luv2lick
Dear Santa.....
Can I have them please, I have been good but I promise to be naughty....if it helps
Dear luv2lick
If only you have asked earlier! We have just sent these two ladies (Barbie and Cindy) to Zootle.
Would you be interested in an Action Man with gripping hands?
Quote by PoloLady
dear santa,i have been (ok-not that good)can i please have some sexy ladies in stockings for xmas-promise to play with them a lot and look after them
Dear ajg
Thank you for your letter. Unfortunately we are a little short on the sexy lady front. However, we can just about manage to fill your request.... on their way as we speak are Wang, Choi and Nihai, 3 very lovely sexy lady(boys).
Have fun and Happy Christmas!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggh-dont believe in santa now-gonna brick up chimney just in case tho :shock:
Master of Sex
Dear Santa
Can I please bang my balls up against those lovely painted ones
Cummon xxx
Can I please bang my balls up against those lovely painted ones
Cummon xxx
Master of Sex
Oh and Dear Santa
I will help you empty your sacks if those lovely ladies will help me empty mine
I will help you empty your sacks if those lovely ladies will help me empty mine
Sex God
Dear Santa
I've been a good girl (well I've tried) and there's only one thing I'd like for christmas but it's a secret. If I behave over the next week or so do u think I may get what I'd like so much?
P.s I'm not greedy and would look after the present very well
Bunny x
I've been a good girl (well I've tried) and there's only one thing I'd like for christmas but it's a secret. If I behave over the next week or so do u think I may get what I'd like so much?
P.s I'm not greedy and would look after the present very well
Bunny x
Dear Santa
Please could I have the winning numbers for Saturdays lottery then I can make all my other dreams come true and save you the backache of carrying anything more than a small pink piece of paper.
If you pop in my bedroom when the kids are asleep I promise I will make it worth your while :twisted:
Please could I have the winning numbers for Saturdays lottery then I can make all my other dreams come true and save you the backache of carrying anything more than a small pink piece of paper.
If you pop in my bedroom when the kids are asleep I promise I will make it worth your while
:twisted: 
Sex God
Dear Santa..
I understand that you are very busy this time of year.. I would like just one thing for christmas (and if I get coal again I will be very upset :cry: )
Could I please, please have my virginity back? I know it was you who took it all those years ago, and it could really come in useful right now.
Yours faithfully
a very pregnant (soon to be classed as immaculate conception) H xxx
I understand that you are very busy this time of year.. I would like just one thing for christmas (and if I get coal again I will be very upset :cry: )
Could I please, please have my virginity back? I know it was you who took it all those years ago, and it could really come in useful right now.
Yours faithfully
a very pregnant (soon to be classed as immaculate conception) H xxx
Sex God
Dear Santa,
Can I have please, one diamond earring? Only one you ask? Well, its really quite silly, but here it goes.
I was having sex with my boy friend on Monday and was chewing on his ear and in the midst of an orgasm, swallowed his earring.
Kindest Regards,
Silky
Can I have please, one diamond earring? Only one you ask? Well, its really quite silly, but here it goes.
I was having sex with my boy friend on Monday and was chewing on his ear and in the midst of an orgasm, swallowed his earring.
Kindest Regards,
Silky
Quote by Lil_Bunny
Dear Santa
I've been a good girl (well I've tried) and there's only one thing I'd like for christmas but it's a secret. If I behave over the next week or so do u think I may get what I'd like so much?
P.s I'm not greedy and would look after the present very well
Bunny x
Dear Lil_Bunny
As your Christmas wish is a secret, we have had to make an educated guess. So, one permanantly erect Brad Pitt clone is being sent-out as we speak.
Merry Christmas.
Quote by MQ
Dear Santa
Please could I have the winning numbers for Saturdays lottery then I can make all my other dreams come true and save you the backache of carrying anything more than a small pink piece of paper.
If you pop in my bedroom when the kids are asleep I promise I will make it worth your while
14, 15, 31, 33, 41, 43 and the bonus is 5
Of course everyone else will know them now and the payout will be devidied between 2,142397 people!
Quote by xxdevil69
Dear Santa..
I understand that you are very busy this time of year.. I would like just one thing for christmas (and if I get coal again I will be very upset :cry: )
Could I please, please have my virginity back? I know it was you who took it all those years ago, and it could really come in useful right now.
Yours faithfully
a very pregnant (soon to be classed as immaculate conception) H xxx
Dear Mary - it is done!
However, you will now be visited by 3 not so wise men, bearing gifts of gold plated bangles, Frankie Goes to Hollywood cd's and manure. You will also find shepards squatting in your shed, claiming visitation rights to your unborn. A drunk guy who thinks he is an angel hanging around in the garden and a police helicopter flashing it's spotlight in your garden for a week.
Merry Christams
Quote by Silk and Big G
Dear Santa,
Can I have please, one diamond earring? Only one you ask? Well, its really quite silly, but here it goes.
I was having sex with my boy friend on Monday and was chewing on his ear and in the midst of an orgasm, swallowed his earring.
Kindest Regards,
Silky
Dear Silky
Sorry we are all out of diamond earings - the Beckhams got their list in two weeks ago! But to regain your matching pair, we are sending out a fine mesh sieve and a tin of prunes.
Merry Christams
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
Dear Santa,
Can I have please, one diamond earring? Only one you ask? Well, its really quite silly, but here it goes.
I was having sex with my boy friend on Monday and was chewing on his ear and in the midst of an orgasm, swallowed his earring.
Kindest Regards,
Silky
Dear Silky
Sorry we are all out of diamond earings - the Beckhams got their list in two weeks ago! But to regain your matching pair, we are sending out a fine mesh sieve and a tin of prunes.
Merry Christams
:rotflmao: 
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
Dear Santa..
I understand that you are very busy this time of year.. I would like just one thing for christmas (and if I get coal again I will be very upset :cry: )
Could I please, please have my virginity back? I know it was you who took it all those years ago, and it could really come in useful right now.
Yours faithfully
a very pregnant (soon to be classed as immaculate conception) H xxx
Dear Mary - it is done!
However, you will now be visited by 3 not so wise men, bearing gifts of gold plated bangles, Frankie Goes to Hollywood cd's and manure. You will also find shepards squatting in your shed, claiming visitation rights to your unborn. A drunk guy who thinks he is an angel hanging around in the garden and a police helicopter flashing it's spotlight in your garden for a week.
Merry Christams
nooooooo pololady . . . . erm . . . . i mean santa don't fall for it!
if xxdevil69 has a virgin birth, well between her, devilinpart and the nipper, that'll be yer diabolic trinity going on there! :scared: bet he's called Damien you watch! you'll be sorry when them four horsemen unleash the Apocalypse. where's Santa then eh? out of a bloody job that's what. no call for Santa in the plagues and pestilence line of work i can tell you!
anyways, dear santa, i've already sent me letter up the chimney, but it's been a bit windy and the smoke might not have made the North Pole, so please can i have a stocking full of satsumas and peanuts, and that Action Man hanglider you brought me when i was 7? oh and some more lego obviously. can never have too much lego can you. preferably spaceships or one of those Technics sets. never had one of them!
ta very much!
neil x x x ;)
Quote by vodka_babe22uk
dear santa
i dont want anything for myself this yr but could i have something for my best mate instead
i would like her to have continued good health for the coming yr
and unlimited train tickets to see me
voddy xxxx
Dear vodka_babe22uk
How could I take the piss out of this one
?So I hope you get your Christams wish - but I think you are stretching it hoping that the trains willl actually run once your friend has the tickets!
Merry Christmas
