Quote by Serendipity
anyone fancy a shag
Depends, will it be in Bedfordshire?
:P
thats planet bedfordshire to you
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Sex site Vs Community
Sex God
Now PoloLady are you saying there is no sex on this site?
Perhaps we can say that it is more than a billboard? I can agree with that!
I know I am new to the site so did not see it in the good old day like you old times.
Perhaps we can say that it is more than a billboard? I can agree with that!
I know I am new to the site so did not see it in the good old day like you old times.
Quote by
Now PoloLady are you saying there is no sex on this site?
Perhaps we can say that it is more than a billboard? I can agree with that!
I know I am new to the site so did not see it in the good old day like you old times.
I think I am quite clear in what I am saying whether you are and old timer or not
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
Now PoloLady are you saying there is no sex on this site?
Perhaps we can say that it is more than a billboard? I can agree with that!
I know I am new to the site so did not see it in the good old day like you old times.
I think I am quite clear in what I am saying whether you are and old timer or not
Yes I know but I could not resist.
...............sorry
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
Sex may have been a fundimental part of what SH was - but it was the attitude to sex and people that made it stand part from being just a sex site. I believe it is possible to have a swinging site with membership paid for (though I wouldn't pay). Unfortunately it is the attitude of the new breed of SH members that does not sit well with the swinging ethos and is dragging the site to becoming just another haunt for single guys to look for a slapper.
Agreed, however I think that the cafe is getting back on track albeit slowly, that is being aided by a number of posters that did stay with it and work at slapping down those attitudes and misconceptions that came in, wether through the 'arm round the shoulder' style or the more direct 'what ya talking about fuckwit' style, both effective modding tools that require no hat, the second style often being cited as being a problem when in reality, is the answer to a much bigger problem, that of being flooded by one line wonders. Those posters are slowly being joined by new posters that do understand what the cafe is about and will, in turn, help push back the sea of dross that still want to get into the cafe and wag their willies. It is pushing a barrel of crap uphill but the wheels are still going round and with enough folk pushing the top can be reached.
Having said that and to get me neatly back to the original point, anyone that thinks this site is all about sex and nothing else has got it badly wrong...at this moment in time.
....davej ever optimistic and still not bleating.
Orgasminator
Quote by PoloLady
Sex may have been a fundimental part of what SH was - but it was the attitude to sex and people that made it stand part from being just a sex site. I believe it is possible to have a swinging site with membership paid for (though I wouldn't pay). Unfortunately it is the attitude of the new breed of SH members that does not sit well with the swinging ethos and is dragging the site to becoming just another haunt for single guys to look for a slapper.
hey please, don't tar all newbies with the same brush. i only recently joined (and paid to do so) not because i saw sh as a quick shag site but because i'd been browsing for a couple of weeks and wanted to join in the forums, as it turns out i can barely find time to get out of the bar and post on other threads. but i'm having fun and that's what i joined for.
i'm a single bloke, not yet pm'd anyone on the site, and don't have an ad asking for sex, hopefully in the non too distant future i'll attend a social and get to meet some of you but in the meantime please don't assume that because i'm a newbie i must therefore be a quick shag merchant. ta
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
My sarcasm is useful
I know its gonna be a burden for you, but yes.
Quote by dracae
Sex may have been a fundimental part of what SH was - but it was the attitude to sex and people that made it stand part from being just a sex site. I believe it is possible to have a swinging site with membership paid for (though I wouldn't pay). Unfortunately it is the attitude of the new breed of SH members that does not sit well with the swinging ethos and is dragging the site to becoming just another haunt for single guys to look for a slapper.
hey please, don't tar all newbies with the same brush. i only recently joined (and paid to do so) not because i saw sh as a quick shag site but because i'd been browsing for a couple of weeks and wanted to join in the forums, as it turns out i can barely find time to get out of the bar and post on other threads. but i'm having fun and that's what i joined for.
i'm a single bloke, not yet pm'd anyone on the site, and don't have an ad asking for sex, hopefully in the non too distant future i'll attend a social and get to meet some of you but in the meantime please don't assume that because i'm a newbie i must therefore be a quick shag merchant. ta
Ah-ha! (Alan Partridge voice)That is why I said 'new breed' instead of 'newbie'. The newcomer with a shag site mentality.
Quote by davej
My sarcasm is useful
I know its gonna be a burden for you, but yes.
I do agree with what you say.
I unfortunately have a different veiw to most when it comes to the 'arm around the shoulder'. I feel taking that approach as a blanket approach is almost like unintentionally telling twats how to make their camouflage - encouraging them to lie to fit in.
Think of the alternative way the advise could be perceived...
Your behaviour won't get you your quick shag. Pretend to fit in by doing X,Y,Z and eventually you will get what you came here for even if you attitude doesn't change.
OK the arm/shoulder thing can work - but like you have said it may not be the most effective when it comes to crown control.
Someone who comes in, acts like a twat, gets a bashing then reflects and say - yep I was a twat give me another chance, at least shows some character.
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
My sarcasm is useful
I know its gonna be a burden for you, but yes.
I do agree with what you say.
I unfortunately have a different veiw to most when it comes to the 'arm around the shoulder'. I feel taking that approach as a blanket approach is almost like unintentionally telling twats how to make their camouflage - encouraging them to lie to fit in.
Think of the alternative way the advise could be perceived...
Your behaviour won't get you your quick shag. Pretend to fit in by doing X,Y,Z and eventually you will get what you came here for even if you attitude doesn't change.
OK the arm/shoulder thing can work - but like you have said it may not be the most effective when it comes to crown control.
Someone who comes in, acts like a twat, gets a bashing then reflects and say - yep I was a twat give me another chance, at least shows some character.
...and I would happily admit that I fit into the same bash em school as you. Now can we stop agreeing, its getting embarrasing, lets get back to thinly veiled indifference
...fuck I'm getting soft I've even stuck in a belt and braces emoticon
Sex God
Quote by Sgt Bilko
...fuck I'm getting soft
She has that effect on me sometimes too!!
:? :? 
:lol: :lol: :lol: 
Have you been told you've an incurable illness and therefore don't care anymore
:rotflmao:
Orgasminator
Quote by Shireen_Mids
in particular bluexxx comments to admin re SH becoming a sex site.
Which in all honesty it is..... Swinging is a lifestyle and not a quick shag.... It's more about getting to know people and making friends then sex.... Sex is a bonus....
I have to disagree in part...
Swinging is about non comitial, non emotional, no ties sex with others who are not your partner (M and/or F) it is all about sex.
While I disagree with the dictionary definition about swininging only being between concenting couples and should also include singles playiing with one or both partners of the other party I do think it helps to define the fact that its concentual and there is no hidden "afair" and both partners of a couple know the other is playing either because they are there or give concent.
I feel that friendships can develop around swinging, and some couples require the build up of trust and "friendship" prior to having sex with the others they have built up that trust but I also think that to some degree the whole "friendship" argument is based around the need to be seen to conform in some part with the vanilla or non-swinging people... by stating that friendship and comunity is required then they wont quite see swinging as people going out side of a relationship or just plain fucking others.
Also how can you define true friendships (mind you its just as hard in a non-swinging senario) as there are plenty of "players" who will play the waiting game, answer each question correctly, say the right things in response to and advert, and so on... get the fuck, and then move onto the next target leaving the other(s) feeling theyve been worked, which they have; or now have lined up a regular shag while getting the next lined up... true friendships take years to develop and be confirmed as more than fair weather friends.
I have made friends and i've made playing partners (which is a nice term for people I have sex with) and ocasionally i've been lucky enough to get both where even if the sexual side has gone away they have still remained friends and we still either frequently or ocasinally talk and meet and socialise... but then again I'm a swinger, not a polyigomisist (thats spelt totally incorrectly, lol) with multiple emotional partners.
Some, not all, of the club scene is based far more on the anonimious sex aspect than a forum such as this... its lay down all comers welcome and like this place there is also people that never play, but use the clubs to socialise with others potentially about sexual aspects that you would not be able to talk about it a more tipical club or pub.
Others do not want to build up a friendship, or stop having sexual contact if a real friendship occurs as they believe that "real friendship" might also infer or mean some kind of emotional attatchment over and above just fancying a fuck off someone...
Be this a swinging or "quick shag" sex site... nothing is ever quick unless you want a wank over a story or some photos as most meets require some physical if not mental or emotional attraction... I would not contact anyone I was not physically attracted to be that visually or something they said or a gut feeling, others can just shag anyone and everyone either because they can get it up for anyone or they use drugs thats the real quick shag croud! The proof in the pudding, so to speak, comes when people agree to meet or when both parties have to show on web cam... in reality most people bottle it (couples women and men) when it comes to showing on cam for the party they've just said "show us your flaps," "Show us your dick," "lets see you shag;" as soon as they say "show yours first" then they are gone quicker that shit of a hot shovel.
The only time sex is a quick shag in reality is when its paid for as the person paid knows every trick in the book to get back in the market place for the next customer.
Sex God
Well it only goes to show that we all have different attitudes towards swinging and this site...
Back in the 70's when I was young, single and had hair, on more than one occasion It's been a case of "take that girl home cos there ain't no one else available". It was the same for the girl as well. Was this swinging or shagging? Eventually it loses it's appeal and relationships develop and I guess it just stopped. I know H had similar experiences as well even though we didn't know each other in those days.
For us now, swinging is about consentual sex with others but there has to be a chemistry between us and the others, so we will look for a friendship and yes those people will become fuck buddies if you like. Because of this the club scene has no appeal to us. We look for people we can share a few laughs with and some good sex. These people are an addition to our other "vanilla" friends, and in most cases will not live anywhere near us. We like it this way cos it avoids any unecessary complications.
We see this site as a way to making those friends, so yes to us the community (or standing round the brazier - call it what you will) is very important, whereas the ads section has no importance to us at all. So really I guess we all look for slightly different things and this site and the lifestyle it supports mean different things to all of us as well.
No one view is right and no one view is wrong......... so just go and enjoy whatever it is you want.
Back in the 70's when I was young, single and had hair, on more than one occasion It's been a case of "take that girl home cos there ain't no one else available". It was the same for the girl as well. Was this swinging or shagging? Eventually it loses it's appeal and relationships develop and I guess it just stopped. I know H had similar experiences as well even though we didn't know each other in those days.
For us now, swinging is about consentual sex with others but there has to be a chemistry between us and the others, so we will look for a friendship and yes those people will become fuck buddies if you like. Because of this the club scene has no appeal to us. We look for people we can share a few laughs with and some good sex. These people are an addition to our other "vanilla" friends, and in most cases will not live anywhere near us. We like it this way cos it avoids any unecessary complications.
We see this site as a way to making those friends, so yes to us the community (or standing round the brazier - call it what you will) is very important, whereas the ads section has no importance to us at all. So really I guess we all look for slightly different things and this site and the lifestyle it supports mean different things to all of us as well.
No one view is right and no one view is wrong......... so just go and enjoy whatever it is you want.
Sex God
Quote by JudyTV
I am looking at this from a purely financial view so, when people pay out with their hard earned cash / debit or credit card then they expect something for their money and the owners / admin will do their best to make sure they get it. This is good business sense if they wish to remain in the market so it probably will become more of a sex site as time goes on. The owners of this site are in it as a commercial venture not just to create a community. There are literally thousands of web sites out there for creating communities and for a million other things. The people who pay and join this site are mainly not just here to chat or for purely social reasons. They are probably here primarily for sex. Simple really, but thats just how I see it but I bet many others do too.
As someone who hasn't paid then if I get nothing from it then all it has cost me here is more of my time. I have already made many friends and contacts over the last two years and that is a bonus. However, the future success of the site as a commercial venture will be based purely on results for the individuals who have paid. That is what comercial life is all about.
Jude
And that is very true as well Jude
Quote by peenut
ersonally I am sticking around for a while and I am going to organise a social for the Newbies. To me, that will prove if the site has a future or if it has turned into the Sex site you mentioned. You know what Peenut, I really hope you are very wrong
Me also ! I was thinking of doing a bit o mddding in the future too ! I personaly don't see Sh as a sex site and would be very unhappy if it became so. However were I to be paying to join I can see that there is some important issues here. Although my mailbox has not exactly overflowed with replies, were I to be female, and having carefully written my ad, I would be bombarded by a lot of replies from guys who have not even bothered to read it ! that is not to say that there are genuine replies but the motivation is that Swinging by its very nature is sexual and I think to pay to join infers to some the invitation of easy sex. My original point was that from a commercial point of view, sex ( or the inference of it ) sells . To some this may mean access to pictures or even more, and not what SH is really all about.
That is exactly why I removed my ad and my photos from this site and won't ever meet any guys through this site again. I don't want to be a profit making maggot to draw in money for someone else. I don’t need a swinger’s site to become my virtual pimp. I think the guys that are paying to join this site will start to ask for their money back if they don’t get what they want. I come to this particular site for the social side only now.
