Along the lines of the “ slave trade” thread Let’s see if we can make it more personal Question If you made a mistake in earlier life should you be held accountable for it now? The reason I ask ? Not so long back someone threw something back at me that I did 25 or so years ago . (Id forgotten all about it tbh) Said person had only known me for a short time and had got the information second hand ( pity really as I thought we were getting on quite well ) Anyway it was nothing illegal I hasten to add just a mistake in a relationship You know “ oh! You don’t want to talk to them . do you know what they did once” Should we be judged on such a mistake year’s later ? What do you think ?
I think this is interesting, particularly because I don't really mind making mistakes, as long as I learn from them. For me, I like to think that I won't judge someone if they've done something I don't like once. For example, if someone cheated on a previous partner, but it only happened once, I wouldn't let that put me off. If they cheated more than once, or with more than one partner, it would put me off because I would find it hard to trust them. I reckon we are all going to make mistakes, we should only be judged by the reparations we make.
if you can go through life without making any mistakes that you dont regret then you are not a human being, we all make them some are bigger than others. Its how others percieve you after your mistake and wether you learn from it and become a wiser person for it that counts.
unless you were party or part of the initial mistake how can you judge someone on it, or maybe mistake is the wrong word, as for Aalisha it wasnt a mistake to her as she doenst regret it. how can anyone judge if the dont have the first hand circumstances, i try not to judge people, it is difficult cos it almost seems like its built into us. Earthy xx
I think this is interesting also. I don't think we should be judged but it depends on what we have done. For example, I know of a lady who had an affair, the husband in question found out, they rowed, went to marriage guidance etc., in the end they agreed their marriage was worth saving and decided to give it another go with the view to putting the past behind them. However, after a few years the resentment started to show again and digs were constantly being made by the man to her husband, it tore them apart. The hurt for the rest of the family was immense, I know this, it was my parents. What I'm trying to say is that if an agreement has been reached it shouldn't be dragged back up some years later. I'm with Sercher, you shouldn't be judged on your past if it has been agreed to forgive and forget. Everyone has chances in life, if you make a mistake you should have the chance to rectify it. If you keep making the same mistakes you have noone to blame but yourself for people not forgiving you.
Quote by Aalisha I think this is interesting, particularly because I don't really mind making mistakes, as long as I learn from them. However, it's something that has affected me a few times. I used to be an escort and used to always tell boyfriends this in the pursuit of honesty. Not a single one could handle it, even though I don't do it any more. They definitely judged me, even more so because I could never say that I regretted it. For me, I like to think that I won't judge someone if they've done something I don't like once. For example, if someone cheated on a previous partner, but it only happened once, I wouldn't let that put me off. If they cheated more than once, or with more than one partner, it would put me off because I would find it hard to trust them. I reckon we are all going to make mistakes, we should only be judged by the reparations we make.
well hellllooooo Aalisha, i dont believe we've met xxx
Quote by sercher01 Along the lines of the “ slave trade” thread Let’s see if we can make it more personal Question If you made a mistake in earlier life should you be held accountable for it now? The reason I ask ? Not so long back someone threw something back at me that I did 25 or so years ago . (Id forgotten all about it tbh) Said person had only known me for a short time and had got the information second hand ( pity really as I thought we were getting on quite well ) Anyway it was nothing illegal I hasten to add just a mistake in a relationship You know “ oh! You don’t want to talk to them . do you know what they did once” Should we be judged on such a mistake year’s later ? What do you think ?
You only seem to be giving half a story & not all the CORRECT information. All Hail sercher the perfect!
Quote by Drewxcore I think this is interesting, particularly because I don't really mind making mistakes, as long as I learn from them. However, it's something that has affected me a few times. I used to be an escort and used to always tell boyfriends this in the pursuit of honesty. Not a single one could handle it, even though I don't do it any more. They definitely judged me, even more so because I could never say that I regretted it. For me, I like to think that I won't judge someone if they've done something I don't like once. For example, if someone cheated on a previous partner, but it only happened once, I wouldn't let that put me off. If they cheated more than once, or with more than one partner, it would put me off because I would find it hard to trust them. I reckon we are all going to make mistakes, we should only be judged by the reparations we make.
well hellllooooo Aalisha, i dont believe we've met xxx Be afraid Aalisha....be very afraid!
Quote by Mr-Powers I think this is interesting, particularly because I don't really mind making mistakes, as long as I learn from them. However, it's something that has affected me a few times. I used to be an escort and used to always tell boyfriends this in the pursuit of honesty. Not a single one could handle it, even though I don't do it any more. They definitely judged me, even more so because I could never say that I regretted it. For me, I like to think that I won't judge someone if they've done something I don't like once. For example, if someone cheated on a previous partner, but it only happened once, I wouldn't let that put me off. If they cheated more than once, or with more than one partner, it would put me off because I would find it hard to trust them. I reckon we are all going to make mistakes, we should only be judged by the reparations we make.
well hellllooooo Aalisha, i dont believe we've met xxx Be afraid Aalisha....be very afraid! I think me and Mr,Powers should be judged for our twatty posts in this thread
Quote by Drewxcore I think this is interesting, particularly because I don't really mind making mistakes, as long as I learn from them. However, it's something that has affected me a few times. I used to be an escort and used to always tell boyfriends this in the pursuit of honesty. Not a single one could handle it, even though I don't do it any more. They definitely judged me, even more so because I could never say that I regretted it. For me, I like to think that I won't judge someone if they've done something I don't like once. For example, if someone cheated on a previous partner, but it only happened once, I wouldn't let that put me off. If they cheated more than once, or with more than one partner, it would put me off because I would find it hard to trust them. I reckon we are all going to make mistakes, we should only be judged by the reparations we make.
well hellllooooo Aalisha, i dont believe we've met xxx Be afraid Aalisha....be very afraid! I think me and Mr,Powers should be judged for our twatty posts in this thread your both guilty as charged :bs: :giggle: hijack over
Quote by Mr-Powers I think this is interesting, particularly because I don't really mind making mistakes, as long as I learn from them. However, it's something that has affected me a few times. I used to be an escort and used to always tell boyfriends this in the pursuit of honesty. Not a single one could handle it, even though I don't do it any more. They definitely judged me, even more so because I could never say that I regretted it. For me, I like to think that I won't judge someone if they've done something I don't like once. For example, if someone cheated on a previous partner, but it only happened once, I wouldn't let that put me off. If they cheated more than once, or with more than one partner, it would put me off because I would find it hard to trust them. I reckon we are all going to make mistakes, we should only be judged by the reparations we make.
well hellllooooo Aalisha, i dont believe we've met xxx Be afraid Aalisha....be very afraid! Yes Aalisha.... :eeek: I'd get your coat and run if I were you! :lol:
Quote by lilacgem Along the lines of the “ slave trade” thread Let’s see if we can make it more personal Question If you made a mistake in earlier life should you be held accountable for it now? The reason I ask ? Not so long back someone threw something back at me that I did 25 or so years ago . (Id forgotten all about it tbh) Said person had only known me for a short time and had got the information second hand ( pity really as I thought we were getting on quite well ) Anyway it was nothing illegal I hasten to add just a mistake in a relationship You know “ oh! You don’t want to talk to them . do you know what they did once” Should we be judged on such a mistake year’s later ? What do you think ?
You only seem to be giving half a story & not all the CORRECT information. All Hail sercher the perfect! i think you will find that the question is should you be judged on something that happened when you were young ? nothing to do with me being perfect hun :roll:
Quote by Mr-Powers when that person has paid the price..
Def agree there Austin. If reparations/penance has been paid then it should be forgotten about. Karma has a knack of giving everyone there own just deserts. Not fair for people to try and give them a second helping. That said I dont know if I could be as open minded as you Aalisha about cheating. I'd have to know if there were mitigating circumstances eg genuinely loveless/abusive realtionship. Otherwise I believe the old adage "once a cheater, always a cheater." I was in what I thought was a happy love filled realtionship & was told I was loved all the way through to the final dénouement (check my bad myself with the old francais eh! Chamon MF ). I'd have to say it was the worst pain ive ever felt in my life. But remember I cant have babies . Friday x
Quote by sercher01 Along the lines of the “ slave trade” thread Let’s see if we can make it more personal Question If you made a mistake in earlier life should you be held accountable for it now? The reason I ask ? Not so long back someone threw something back at me that I did 25 or so years ago . (Id forgotten all about it tbh) Said person had only known me for a short time and had got the information second hand ( pity really as I thought we were getting on quite well ) Anyway it was nothing illegal I hasten to add just a mistake in a relationship You know “ oh! You don’t want to talk to them . do you know what they did once” Should we be judged on such a mistake year’s later ? What do you think ?
Yeah! stone them until they see the error of their ways! Now ...anyone for stones???? 2 rounds, 2 flats and a packet of gravel :giggle:
I think the answer is - it depends. If the person who is aware of your previous mistake is convinced their facts are right and if they genuinely believe that you might re-offend and cause problems - then I think the answer is yes a warning should be given. If either of those factors are not the case then I think answer is no. What is particularly unfair, I guess, is when someone obtains a false impression or doesn't get their facts right and continues to put the warning word about. .
Quote by firelizard Yeah! stone them until they see the error of their ways! Now ...anyone for stones???? 2 rounds, 2 flats and a packet of gravel :giggle:
He's not the Messiah, he's a very Naughty boy! Love it Fire. Friday x
Quote by sercher01 Question If you made a mistake in earlier life should you be held accountable for it now? The reason I ask ? Not so long back someone threw something back at me that I did 25 or so years ago . (Id forgotten all about it tbh) Said person had only known me for a short time and had got the information second hand ( pity really as I thought we were getting on quite well ) Anyway it was nothing illegal I hasten to add just a mistake in a relationship You know “ oh! You don’t want to talk to them . do you know what they did once” Should we be judged on such a mistake year’s later ? What do you think ?
I think that we all make mistakes. I am not sure if 'judge' is what I would expect. But if someone called into question something that I have done in the past (however far that past) I would and am prepared to discuss it. Whether or not it is something that I think, in retrospect, was wrong, I would apologise (or not) if the situation warrented it. My past is a part of me it is something that I feel is important to acknowledge. I am happy to apologise for mistakes and take full responsibility for those. Ummm have I answered that or waffled ? splendid
Quote by westerross I think the answer is - it depends. If the person who is aware of your previous mistake is convinced their facts are right and if they genuinely believe that you might re-offend and cause problems - then I think the answer is yes a warning should be given. If either of those factors are not the case then I think answer is no. What is particularly unfair, I guess, is when someone obtains a false impression or doesn't get their facts right and continues to put the warning word about. .
i couldnt have put it better and totaly agree :thumbup: but how could you prove that hear say was wrong after so many year's or even if you had changed at all
Quote by splendid I think that we all make mistakes. I am not sure if 'judge' is what I would expect. But if someone called into question something that I have done in the past (however far that past) I would and am prepared to discuss it. Whether or not it is something that I think, in retrospect, was wrong, I would apologise (or not) if the situation warrented it. My past is a part of me it is something that I feel is important to acknowledge. I am happy to apologise for mistakes and take full responsibility for those. Ummm have I answered that or waffled ? splendid
Quote by sercher01 But would you apologise for something your great great great grandad did?
no! but then thats not the question another one who dosent read the bloody thread before posting i read the thread fine...its about being judged isn't it...we are being judged for something we are not responsible for....
Quote by Mr-Powers But would you apologise for something your great great great grandad did?
no! but then thats not the question another one who dosent read the bloody thread before posting i read the thread fine...its about being judged isn't it...we are being judged for something we are not responsible for.... think you got the wrong end of the stick m8 . its about us bein judged not are ansesters
Quote by sercher01 But would you apologise for something your great great great grandad did?
no! but then thats not the question another one who dosent read the bloody thread before posting i read the thread fine...its about being judged isn't it...we are being judged for something we are not responsible for.... think you got the wrong end of the stick m8 . its about us bein judged not are ansesters but thats just it...we are still being judged for something our ancestors did....and don't you just get sick of it..when it keeps getting thrown in your face!...just has if you were directly responsible!
Quote by sercher01 I think the answer is - it depends. If the person who is aware of your previous mistake is convinced their facts are right and if they genuinely believe that you might re-offend and cause problems - then I think the answer is yes a warning should be given. If either of those factors are not the case then I think answer is no. What is particularly unfair, I guess, is when someone obtains a false impression or doesn't get their facts right and continues to put the warning word about. .
i couldnt have put it better and totaly agree :thumbup: but how could you prove that hear say was wrong after so many year's or even if you had changed at all
You can't and that's why ill-judged pernicious gossip is so foul. .
Quote by westerross I think the answer is - it depends. If the person who is aware of your previous mistake is convinced their facts are right and if they genuinely believe that you might re-offend and cause problems - then I think the answer is yes a warning should be given. If either of those factors are not the case then I think answer is no. What is particularly unfair, I guess, is when someone obtains a false impression or doesn't get their facts right and continues to put the warning word about. .
i couldnt have put it better and totaly agree :thumbup: but how could you prove that hear say was wrong after so many year's or even if you had changed at all
You can't and that's why ill-judged pernicious gossip is so foul. . again well said
I detest second hand information for just this very reason, it can be so so hurtfull to everyone who comes into contact with it and has often been changed through the chinese whispers process anyhow. Often is spread by someone who has a beef with the person its involving. But human nature means most folk love a good gosip,some more than others. If someone hears something about me i would expect them to ask me about it, and i would be happy to talk about it. If they made a asumption without talking to me ..im afraid for me thats game over. If after talking to me about it and they decided they didnt want anything to do with me ..thats cool thats their right and choice. Plus if they cant use the information they have been given along with their direct experience of me,then are they the kinda people i want to be around....again for me its game over. For me personaly i have respect for people to come directly to me with any issue/problem/whatever they have rather than banter it about or talk behind my back about it,as that just pisses me off and i have a short tolerance for that kinda shanigans. My normal attitude is let sleeping dogs lie and whats in the past is history if i havent or dont see or experience more of the same mistake! But i did have a issue recently were a child sex offender asked me why he would pay for the rest of his life for his mistakes....i couldnt answer him because i at that moment and this believe that he should pay for the rest of his life for his "mistake" I am personaly very sensitive to such mistakes and as such i act with my heart over my brain, and cant bring myself to ignor such mistakes however far in history they were. Some people will be sensitive to other things like say a cheater because a partner that has cheated on them or say violence as they have been involved with violent partners...they reactions may seem over the top to most but for them its very real,very big and can be very scarey. So i guess what im saying is it depends on what mistakes have been made in the past and how they sit with the people involved if its a issue or not. Above is just my personal opinion's and of course we are all individual so may be diffrent to others. Think i have managed to confuse myself here but its so clear in my head just cant get it down in black and white so easily Nicky
Quote by Mr-Powers In all honesty...when people keep dragging up the past...even when that person has paid the price...they are nothing but sad,pathetic people.
Quote by sercher01 Along the lines of the “ slave trade” thread Let’s see if we can make it more personal Question If you made a mistake in earlier life should you be held accountable for it now? The reason I ask ? Not so long back someone threw something back at me that I did 25 or so years ago . (Id forgotten all about it tbh) Said person had only known me for a short time and had got the information second hand ( pity really as I thought we were getting on quite well ) Anyway it was nothing illegal I hasten to add just a mistake in a relationship You know “ oh! You don’t want to talk to them . do you know what they did once” Should we be judged on such a mistake year’s later ? What do you think ?
You only seem to be giving half a story & not all the CORRECT information. All Hail sercher the perfect! i think you will find that the question is should you be judged on something that happened when you were young ? nothing to do with me being perfect hun :roll: I think you will find that I wasnt answering any questions but stating that you hadnt included ALL relevant information to a thread. & I'll think you will also find that I was being a tad sarcastic with the "Hail sercher the perfect"
i wasnt asking to be judged on my mistake . it was just an example . i was asking if people think we should be judged on something that happened in the distant we did in our chiledhood . so the infomation in the example is not realy relevent therefor i didnt need to embelish the story any ferther i think i have had some interesting answer's
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). I'd have to say it was the worst pain ive ever felt in my life. But remember I cant have babies 
.
Now ...anyone for stones???? 2 rounds, 2 flats and a packet of gravel :giggle:
:thumbup:
