Sizeism and the sexes.

7 Oct 2007

As many of you will know, those who have took a blimp at our profile, Me and Mr B are large people, and I have wondered about this subject for a while, but more so since we joined the swinging scene.
We know that there are men who like BBW's and find them sexy, but are there women who find bigger fellas sexy, or are women subconsciously sizeist. Are women more so, or less so than men, do they do it consciously or not.
When looking at profile pix, before you have even read the text, do you automatically think....nope...big people and hit the back button.
I try to be non judgemental, and even tho i am....'big boned'....am I allowed to say fat dunno

and so is Mr B...i do think that some people do automatically discount bigger people.
But I just wondered if there was a difference between the sexes, as in heterosexual circles, men who love BBW's are widely known about and catered for, is there such a thing as a woman who loves big guys (not the muscly rugby types) or not, or is it just fellas who like cuddly women....and why is this so.
Is it something innate to do with the fact of bigger women being seen as better mates and better reproducers, going back to stoneage times here lol)
what do you think??

7 Oct 2007

I'd be more surprised if there weren't any women who like big men, to be honest. MrFB and me are both large, but there are people who like us. Someone for everyone, I think. For as many people who discount larger people, there are also people who discount thinner people.
And yes, of course you're allowed to say fat - if I was pushed to describe myself, I'd say fat rather than BBW.

7 Oct 2007

lol never too sure FB, and i dont like to think Id use a word that offends.
I just wondered if there was a difference between men and women when it camt to choosing who to make contact with as a possible swing meet..
As in, if, say the male of a couple picked the couples that they would like to approach for a meet, would that be different from the couples the female half would choose.

7 Oct 2007

I don't think I'd use the word to describe anyone else other than me - I'd be a bit more polite than that!
I can only speak for us - we tend to meet people then talk to each other about possible playmates - it's not a case of one of us choosing really.

7 Oct 2007

Sexy is just sexy in our eyes..
We have met slim and very (supposed) sexy people who are really really sexy in there own heads.. then we have met bigger but genuinely sexy people!
Sexy comes in all shapes and sizes for sure but without a doubt its attitude that is the sexiest part.
As in our ad, we have no set size weight or status.. we don't know what turns us on till we meet.. We have been turned off by far more slim peeps who think too much of themselves to be truly sexy as such.. and met some larger people who realy do turn us on!
In short its the people.. and thats goes for us both.
Mike x

7 Oct 2007

Although my ex was a lovely, sexy slim guy, he was unusual for me.
My "type" is definitely the larger bodied man.
I enjoy the security I feel with a bigger guy.

7 Oct 2007

Quote by mdr2000
Sexy is just sexy in our eyes..
We have met slim and very (supposed) sexy people who are really really sexy in there own heads.. then we have met bigger but genuinely sexy people!
Sexy comes in all shapes and sizes for sure but without a doubt its attitude that is the sexiest part.
Mike x

:thumbup: my thoughts exactly.

7 Oct 2007

Quote by Cherrytree
Although my ex was a lovely, sexy slim guy, he was unusual for me.
My "type" is definitely the larger bodied man.
I enjoy the security I feel with a bigger guy.

7 Oct 2007

Quote by essex34m
Although my ex was a lovely, sexy slim guy, he was unusual for me.
My "type" is definitely the larger bodied man.
I enjoy the security I feel with a bigger guy.

:giggle:

7 Oct 2007

Odd that - I was looking at "The Fat Girl's Guide to Life" just the other day and baulked at buying it!
One thing she says is that the word 'fat' is almost and others won't easily say it about a person unless they are being mean about them or to them! Personally I would never describe myself as a BBW - seems a tad coy for me. Fat - yep! wink

Big guys? Yep too!
:thumbup:

7 Oct 2007

so much for the skinny guys amongst us, even if prepared to carry a farely hefty stick :cry:

7 Oct 2007

Quote by flower411
It`s in our profile because we are looking for gratuitous sex with people who are of similar build to us. We are not looking for soulmates or anything other than a quick shag.
It just means that, given the choice for a gratuitous shag we both prefer slimmer people

It still baffles me how, in such a supposedly 'open minded' scene such as this, it is still frowned upon, to actually dare to have a preference in what you want from a sexual partner
Attraction takes many forms, and every person has a preference in what they want, be it someone to talk to, or someone to seek mind-blowing sex with

7 Oct 2007

One of the reasons I started this thread (and this is not a rant or anything , just a simple observation) was the fact that I put a post in LMU, for a meet with a couple or single fem to help me give mr B a birthday treat....we had loads of views but not one response.
We have extras, so we can see who viewed our profile, and Mr B is convinced its because of him that we had no replies, i tried to tell him that there were probably loads of reasons that we got no replies but would he listen....would he feck as like!! lol

I, as a BBW - fat bird :lol: have had many PMs and whispers from fellas who pay me compliments, but never a woman doing that for mr B....so it just got me wondering if there was a difference between genders

7 Oct 2007

Fat girl here and I hope to god I never ever become so judgemental as to decide wether or not to meet someone because of their weight. rolleyes

Mr Bone dont let the fact that no one responded put you off, maybe it was just a little late in the day for some people and maybe it was just that they had made other plans. kiss

7 Oct 2007

Quote by flower411
Fat girl here and I hope to god I never ever become so judgemental as to decide wether or not to meet someone because of their weight.

But , being "judgemental" over their age is OK !! ?? :shock:
Trust you to pick that out ya argumentative git!
I choose not to meet anyone around the same age as my offspring. It would feel like sleeping with my child. In the same way I wouldnt want to sleep with my Grandparents.
This thread isnt about age its about size smackbottom

:P

7 Oct 2007

Quote by Bonedigger
We have extras, so we can see who viewed our profile, and Mr B is convinced its because of him that we had no replies, i tried to tell him that there were probably loads of reasons that we got no replies but would he listen....would he feck as like!!

Mrs B, I saw your post yesterday, and you need to tell Mr B, that a lot of people, especially, I suspect, single fems won't meet to play on a first meeting.
I also think that if Mr B posted as much as you do, and was therefore as well known, he would get a lot more pms etc than he does.
And, a few of us have already said we like the larger bodied chap - so take heart, Mr B. :thumbup:

7 Oct 2007

Quote by flower411
Fat girl here and I hope to god I never ever become so judgemental as to decide wether or not to meet someone because of their weight.

But , being "judgemental" over their age is OK !! ?? :shock:
Trust you to pick that out ya argumentative git!
I choose not to meet anyone around the same age as my offspring. It would feel like sleeping with my child. In the same way I wouldnt want to sleep with my Grandparents.
This thread isnt about age its about size smackbottom

:P
OOOO this is good ... people taking comments in the spirit they were meant and not taking offence !! lol

There`s hope for this forum yet !
I`m afraid I have to agree with mr bone, I think more women are put off by the "fat" look in men than men are put off when its the other way round.
Have no idea why !!! Have to think about this one :lol:
Very rare I take offence at anything but for you I could make an exception innocent

:giggle:

7 Oct 2007

thanks for all your really helpful comments, I shall pass them on to Mr B.
I am glad I posted now, as it helps to know others opinions on the subject, thanks for all your sage and sound advice smile

7 Oct 2007

I have had sex with all sorts of shapes and sizes of people.
It is sexiness that attracts me to people. That is something that is intangible. So I am am unable to quantify that. Chemistry perhaps ? I don't know.
Mr B looks as lovely in your profile as Mrs B. But chemistry isn't something that I personally can understand from a profile.
Mr B needs to give himself a shake as he has nothing to worry about
splendid

7 Oct 2007

thanks splendid kiss

:kiss:

7 Oct 2007

Quote by Cherrytree
I enjoy the security I feel with a bigger guy.

same here although dek is slim build when ever i have played with men and they are "bigger" a nice safe feeling comes over me cant tell u why or how or what ever but it happens but its these ones i seem to remeber as better meets whether its to do with the feeling safe and hence relaxed i dont know
i personally cant look (hardly ever) at someone and think sexy for me its whats inside if ya can talk to them and laugh together and hold a decent conversation for me its much more attractive than someone who comes accorss as sexy
prob makes no sence lol

7 Oct 2007

Quote by essex34m

It`s in our profile because we are looking for gratuitous sex with people who are of similar build to us. We are not looking for soulmates or anything other than a quick shag.
It just means that, given the choice for a gratuitous shag we both prefer slimmer people

It still baffles me how, in such a supposedly 'open minded' scene such as this, it is still frowned upon, to actually dare to have a preference in what you want from a sexual partner
Attraction takes many forms, and every person has a preference in what they want, be it someone to talk to, or someone to seek mind-blowing sex with
:thumbup: absolutely agree with this. Flower, everyone's entitled to their preferences. What's annoying is when people come in moaning that there's no slim/young/fat/old/ whatever people for them and how wrong it is to exclude just the group they identify with, yet their profile states their own preference and that's OK.

7 Oct 2007

Quote by Bonedigger
We have extras, so we can see who viewed our profile, and Mr B is convinced its because of him that we had no replies, i tried to tell him that there were probably loads of reasons that we got no replies but would he listen....would he feck as like!!

There's no way of telling why they did no more than look, really. As you said, could be any number of reasons. As Cherry (I think?) said, maybe if he were more well-known or if they'd already met him, it would be different. A single female, particularly, will be more wary of meeting someone she knows little about.

7 Oct 2007

I'm picky. Very, very picky. I only ever play with onetype of guy. The type with charisma.

7 Oct 2007

Quote by Cherrytree
I enjoy the security I feel with a bigger guy.

I know what you mean there Cherry, normally I go for tall guys because somehow it makes me feel protected but it's the same if the bloke is of a larger build.....although one of my rules is that they have to be taller than me.

7 Oct 2007

as I said this want a thread to complain about not gettin a leg over lol

but to stimulate an adult debate about whether or not subconscious 'isms' were gender specific or not....plus I also wanted to prove that I can do serious as well as amusing and flippant too lmao :lol:
I am pleased to say that so far the discussion is going well

7 Oct 2007

Quote by flower411
How tall are you ??

Taller than you :lol:
that's if you haven't lied on your profile :lol2:

7 Oct 2007

Quote by Bonedigger
I am pleased to say that so far the discussion is going well

now just you hang on there a moment!
I havent said all that much yet...plenty of time for the thread to disolve yet...oh yes!
lp

7 Oct 2007

Quote by LondonPlaything
I am pleased to say that so far the discussion is going well

now just you hang on there a moment!
I havent said all that much yet...plenty of time for the thread to disolve yet...oh yes!
lp
nooooooooooooooooo

7 Oct 2007

ok then
lp
but... but... only an impression of mine, not founded in science or ... anything:
Ladies do seem to be happier with the larger fellow, than the the male with the larger female...
just an impression.
perhaps a lot to do with the *security* aspects in a womans choice as mentioned earlier... and a chaps *trophy* approach??? not putting this very well am I?
I shall withdraw... little sleep means little sence this evening
say nowt you!