I'd like to pass on some serious advice I was given and have always found invaluable.
Always turn on your interior light to prevent an antelope jumping on your car
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Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
oh and by the way....he gets ill.
That's not the ending of the book you've just given me is it???? You bastard!!!
what's the point of me reading it all now, if I know the ending! 
No misschief its page 4
Sex God
Quote by celticq
I'd like to pass on some serious advice I was given and have always found invaluable.
Always turn on your interior light to prevent an antelope jumping on your car
This is a serious point as Celticq will no doubt elaborate on. Deer have a habit of running out in front of you at dusk and dawn. Driving with your interior light on does lesson the chances of them jumping on your car.
The same can be said for keeping your back door shut when your lights are on at home cos if the buggers get in like the daddy longlegs, they are much harder to kill with the tea towl.
Sex God
Deer? DEER! don't you bloody talk to me about deer. we go to all the trouble of providing them designated crossing points, with a nice yellow triangle with a picture (( a picture mind you! just so the illiterate bleeding deer among em don't have to even read it FFS! )) on it, and then they do stuff like stove your bleeding windscreens in, unless you keep ya bloody lite on", and then oh, it's my fault innit, well pardon me for driving, here's the bloody number for accident direct why dont ya! bloody ungrateful bastards!
pah!
neil x x x x x
pah!
neil x x x x x
Sex God
Quote by neilinleeds
Deer? DEER! don't you bloody talk to me about deer. we go to all the trouble of providing them designated crossing points, with a nice yellow triangle with a picture (( a picture mind you! just so the illiterate bleeding deer among em don't have to even read it FFS! )) on it, and then they do stuff like stove your bleeding windscreens in, unless you keep ya bloody lite on", and then oh, it's my fault innit, well pardon me for driving, here's the bloody number for accident direct why dont ya! bloody ungrateful bastards!
pah!
neil x x x x x
Oi !!! think on if you want anything for christmas...the sleigh might just by pass you.
Quote by davej
This is a serious point as Celticq will no doubt elaborate on. Deer have a habit of running out in front of you at dusk and dawn. Driving with your interior light on does lesson the chances of them jumping on your car.
I will only elaborate to say - it does not work with full grown Ayrshire Cattle. (Lets just say £200 excess and loss of no claims bonus)
Quote by davej
The same can be said for keeping your back door shut when your lights are on at home cos if the buggers get in like the daddy longlegs, they are much harder to kill with the tea towl.
The main problem here is when they get their antlers stuck in the catflap - very tricky getting them out then.
We have those deer crossing thingy's near me - never seen a deer using it once. I am currently lobbying the local council to install aardvark crossing instead - I have never seen an aardvark which just goes to show they are much to timid to cross the road.
Sex God
exactly Misschief thankyou ( :P DaveJ Ha! )
how do you think the fat bearded one manages to only work one nightshift a bloody year eh??? all the kickbacks from the roofing industry FFS! eight big bleeding reindeers all smashing holes in your tiles and weakening your joists........nice little earner, only marginally offset by the counter-claims for chimney damage by the round red-suited twat! christmas my arse!
humph!
neil x x x x x
how do you think the fat bearded one manages to only work one nightshift a bloody year eh??? all the kickbacks from the roofing industry FFS! eight big bleeding reindeers all smashing holes in your tiles and weakening your joists........nice little earner, only marginally offset by the counter-claims for chimney damage by the round red-suited twat! christmas my arse!
humph!
neil x x x x x
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Oi !!! think on if you want anything for christmas...the sleigh might just by pass you.
Not if he doesn't have his interior light on!!!! :shock: Bluddy hazardous with 8 of em all tied together!
This is very true however, Brussels have done a risk assessment and have decided that exchanging the Reindeer for Armadillo's, will slow the sleigh down thus reandering any impact less dangerous.
Santa can still wear his red suit although the beard has got to come off, to reduce the chances of face burn when going down hot chimneys and to reduce the chances of stale mince pie crumbs becoming a health hazard.
Brakes in the form of string tied to the armadillo's tadgers have got to be fitted and lights will need to fitted to all rooftops to eluminate the night sky.
Santa can still use my Pixie friends however they would prefer that Lithuanians are considered for the job as well.
Sex God
Quote by celticq
We have those deer crossing thingy's near me - never seen a deer using it once. I am currently lobbying the local council to install aardvark crossing instead - I have never seen an aardvark which just goes to show they are much to timid to cross the road.
They do cross the road but they tunnel under cos they are too short to reach the buttons on the crossings to stop the traffic
Hello.
I am Wild Edric, new here.
I am a mythical figure that rides the Welsh Borders, ready to save the country from disaster. I have often seen the old fellah in the red suit. I would be pleased to drop a few presents down chimneys.
By the way, if you see me, tell no one. I am only seen when the country is in grave peril.
Sorry I couldn't make it to Portugal. I was preoccupied with Henman. Waste of time that was.
WE
I am Wild Edric, new here.
I am a mythical figure that rides the Welsh Borders, ready to save the country from disaster. I have often seen the old fellah in the red suit. I would be pleased to drop a few presents down chimneys.
By the way, if you see me, tell no one. I am only seen when the country is in grave peril.
Sorry I couldn't make it to Portugal. I was preoccupied with Henman. Waste of time that was.
WE
Sex God
Quote by davej
We have those deer crossing thingy's near me - never seen a deer using it once. I am currently lobbying the local council to install aardvark crossing instead - I have never seen an aardvark which just goes to show they are much to timid to cross the road.
They do cross the road but they tunnel under cos they are too short to reach the buttons on the crossings to stop the traffic
I thought the tunnels were for hedgehogs? No wonder they keep getting run over, the bloody aardvarks have taken over all their tunnels!
I can see the slogan now:-
Save a Hedghog, Kill an Aardvark!
Quote by davej
This is very true however, Brussels have done a risk assessment and have decided that exchanging the Reindeer for Armadillo's, will slow the sleigh down thus reandering any impact less dangerous.
Aha misschief - here is the evidence that I am in no way related to the j clan. A member of the q clan would never use the word Armadillo if there was the chance to mention Aardvarks.
Sex God
Quote by celticq
This is very true however, Brussels have done a risk assessment and have decided that exchanging the Reindeer for Armadillo's, will slow the sleigh down thus reandering any impact less dangerous.
Aha misschief - here is the evidence that I am in no way related to the j clan. A member of the q clan would never use the word Armadillo if there was the chance to mention Aardvarks.
I would have used Aardvarks only I could't remember the first two letters
Sex God
Quote by Wild Edric
Hello.
I am Wild Edric, new here.
I am a mythical figure that rides the Welsh Borders, ready to save the country from disaster. I have often seen the old fellah in the red suit. I would be pleased to drop a few presents down chimneys.
By the way, if you see me, tell no one. I am only seen when the country is in grave peril.
Sorry I couldn't make it to Portugal. I was preoccupied with Henman. Waste of time that was.
WE
Hello wild eric and welcome.......exactly what type of animal is a welsh border? I aint knocking your preferences, just curious.
Sex God
look you lot! bloody thread hijackers the lot of yas. can we just dispense with all the aardvark / armadillo nonsense and get back on topic! before Misschief spots it and gives us all a bollockin! thankyou! now i believe we we're talking .......... about ......... erm.......... bollox
neil x x x x x x x
neil x x x x x x x
Sex God
Quote by neilinleeds
look you lot! bloody thread hijackers the lot of yas. can we just dispense with all the aardvark / armadillo nonsense and get back on topic! before Misschief spots it and gives us all a bollockin! thankyou! now i believe we we're talking .......... about ......... erm.......... bollox
neil x x x x x x x
Neil I did try to stay on thread and gave a very concise and carefully considered reply on the speed of light. The problem was, no bugger thought I was being serious when I was, hence it has evolved into utter nonsense. I am not to blame, as it was the girls that went off track. :smug:
Quote by davej
Hello.
I am Wild Edric, new here.
I am a mythical figure that rides the Welsh Borders, ready to save the country from disaster. I have often seen the old fellah in the red suit. I would be pleased to drop a few presents down chimneys.
By the way, if you see me, tell no one. I am only seen when the country is in grave peril.
Sorry I couldn't make it to Portugal. I was preoccupied with Henman. Waste of time that was.
WE
Hello wild eric and welcome.......exactly what type of animal is a welsh border? I aint knocking your preferences, just curious.
The Welsh Border is a powerful beast-it can transform first- rate holiday homes to smouldering wrecks. Treat it with respect.
Offa had it sussed
WE
Sex God
DaveJ i do apologise, you are of course absolutely right. i was ranting again! (( and Misschief is on with the bloody armadillo thing now too, so best not upset her questioning it really eh!? 
)))
now where was i?
neil x x x
))) now where was i?
neil x x x
Quote by MISSCHIEF
I've just had a read back to see where I can split this thread ............. and shit, it kinda went pear shaped just after I posted :shock:
:
Wow MISSCHIEF - if you can split threads I'm thinking you must have got past page 3 by now - Steven Hawkings has nothing on you ma'am.
Sex God
Quote by Wild Edric
Hello.
I am Wild Edric, new here.
I am a mythical figure that rides the Welsh Borders, ready to save the country from disaster. I have often seen the old fellah in the red suit. I would be pleased to drop a few presents down chimneys.
By the way, if you see me, tell no one. I am only seen when the country is in grave peril.
Sorry I couldn't make it to Portugal. I was preoccupied with Henman. Waste of time that was.
WE
Hello wild eric and welcome.......exactly what type of animal is a welsh border? I aint knocking your preferences, just curious.
The Welsh Border is a powerful beast-it can transform first- rate holiday homes to smouldering wrecks. Treat it with respect.
Offa had it sussed
WE
If I remember rightly wasn't Offa into Dykes........see nothing changes
