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yup!
Quote by H-x
Maybe someone could think of a real sub's question.
H.x
It may well have been asked/discussed before....
But:
In a sub/Dom(me) relationship/scenario... who might REALLLY hold the control???
the sub *submits* to the wishes/actions of the Dom/me.. but the Dom/me has to be aware of the subs limits and wishes in return.
safe words and perametres >sp?< of play might be all layed out before hand...
but ultimately... is this a fully shared, and balanced relationship... ?
who, exactly do yoooo think is in control?
>retires to cage<
LP
Quote by PoloLady
You could look at it that the dom is only a dom for as long as the sub is willing to be sub.
I will watch with interest - as I love seeing what some people think being a dom is all about and some of the strange ideas some misguided folk have surrounding dom/sub relationships.
Well my own thoughts are these:
I am sub to Stormy's dom. I could'nt be submissive to anyone else (I don't think!) as in my oppinion (sp?) it takes a hell of alot of trust and I am rather a control freak by nature.
The reason I love to be submissive to him is because I know he gets off on it BIG time so in a strange way I feel like I am still controlling his enjoyment.
That makes me sound really horrible does'nt it :giggle: but I'm not, honest!
Love
FIRE xx
Exactly. Its a power play not a power struggle, as a sub you have to trust the dom enough to give them the power over you, they can't take it and it's thier responsibility to make you want them to have it. It's a very delicate balance, not just a case of someone thinking they can get you to do anything just cos they ask.
H.x
H.x
Quote by H-x
Exactly. Its a power play not a power struggle, as a sub you have to trust the dom enough to give them the power over you, they can't take it and it's thier responsibility to make you want them to have it. It's a very delicate balance, not just a case of someone thinking they can get you to do anything just cos they ask.
H.x
I am looking forward to some really interesting conversation with you on Saturday H!Love
FIRE xx
Sexpert
I was never happy watching England use 11 subs at half time under Sven, really made a mockery of international football, boo Sven boo
Quote by H-x
Exactly. Its a power play not a power struggle, as a sub you have to trust the dom enough to give them the power over you, they can't take it and it's thier responsibility to make you want them to have it. It's a very delicate balance, not just a case of someone thinking they can get you to do anything just cos they ask.
H.x
You must have come across guys (and some gals for that matter) who call themselves a dom and what they really mean is either:
A - they just like to be bossy and decide what is happening.
B - they are just interested in what they want and think calling themselves a dom justifies being selfish.
Quote by PoloLady
Exactly. Its a power play not a power struggle, as a sub you have to trust the dom enough to give them the power over you, they can't take it and it's thier responsibility to make you want them to have it. It's a very delicate balance, not just a case of someone thinking they can get you to do anything just cos they ask.
H.x
You must have come across guys (and some gals for that matter) who call themselves a dom and what they really mean is either:
A - they just like to be bossy and decide what is happening.
B - they are just interested in what they want and think calling themselves a dom justifies being selfish.
Nope. Never come anywhere near them
H.x
Quote by firelizard
You could look at it that the dom is only a dom for as long as the sub is willing to be sub.
I will watch with interest - as I love seeing what some people think being a dom is all about and some of the strange ideas some misguided folk have surrounding dom/sub relationships.
Well my own thoughts are these:
I am sub to Stormy's dom. (and this happened when?)
I could'nt be submissive to anyone else (I don't think!) as in my oppinion (sp?) it takes a hell of alot of trust and I am rather a control freak by nature. (understatement of the decade) :dry: The reason I love to be submissive to him is because I know he gets off on it BIG time so in a strange way I feel like I am still controlling his enjoyment. (i can take it or leave it)
That makes me sound really horrible does'nt it :giggle: but I'm not, honest! :censored:
Love
FIRE xx
Quote by LondonPlaything
Maybe someone could think of a real sub's question.
H.x
It may well have been asked/discussed before....
But:
In a sub/Dom(me) relationship/scenario... who might REALLLY hold the control???
the sub *submits* to the wishes/actions of the Dom/me.. but the Dom/me has to be aware of the subs limits and wishes in return.
safe words and perametres >sp?< of play might be all layed out before hand...
but ultimately... is this a fully shared, and balanced relationship... ?
who, exactly do yoooo think is in control?
>retires to cage<
LP
I'm no expert and can only talk from personal experience and from talking to friends etc, but the sub has ultimate control.
The gift of true and total submission is just that, a gift bestowed on you by the sub. You can force somebody to commit physical acts etc but you can't force somebody to fully submit their body and mind.
Quote by H-x
Exactly. Its a power play not a power struggle, as a sub you have to trust the dom enough to give them the power over you, they can't take it and it's thier responsibility to make you want them to have it. It's a very delicate balance, not just a case of someone thinking they can get you to do anything just cos they ask.
H.x
Yup thats it in a nutshell and if you talk to doms of either gender who realy know what they are doing its common to find that after play ( especially group or club stuff ) they are absolutely shattered - not just from the physical aspects but the mental effort of watching whats going on, reading all those tiny litle signs the sub is sending and constantly adjusting what they are doing for maximum ( or minimum ) effect.
Subs on the other hand seem to share a common euphoria afterwards ( who said endorphines !)
It always surprises me when someone asks " teach me to be dom" or "teach me to be sub" - simple you cant be taught but if its there then you can be helped to let it out.
Anyway just my tuppenceworth and H im yet another who would love to read your work.
GF2
Quote by PoloLady
Exactly. Its a power play not a power struggle, as a sub you have to trust the dom enough to give them the power over you, they can't take it and it's thier responsibility to make you want them to have it. It's a very delicate balance, not just a case of someone thinking they can get you to do anything just cos they ask.
H.x
You must have come across guys (and some gals for that matter) who call themselves a dom and what they really mean is either:
A - they just like to be bossy and decide what is happening.
B - they are just interested in what they want and think calling themselves a dom justifies being selfish.
Yep, unfortunately I've met one man and a friend had a rather awful experience with another, they both used the guise of being a 'Dom' to justify themselves when in fact the were violent predators.
