The protect Missy from Sarge thread

7 Dec 2006

Quote by In another thread, Sgt Bilko
Rest assured if you are getting into misschief I will be watching!! :shock: :shock: :shock:

:shock: :shock: I think this is a gross and intolerable violation of Missy's privacy so I am starting a campaign to protect her and I have started a rota. She will need us to be with her round the clock to make sure that the wicked Sarge isn't secretly filming or recording her.
I have bravely and selflessly volunteered to take the first shift (tonight, tomorrow and tomorrow night!! :twisted: :twisted smile

and I think I can count on Sappho and Sassy-Seren for support :rascal:
Who is going to volunteer for the next few shifts after that? I can come on duty again on Monday.
Don't worry Missy. Your friends from the Forum will be looking after you.
If you take a shower - We'll be there!!
When you go to bed - We'll be there!!
When you wake up - We'll be there!!
(assuming we have let you go to sleep in the first place!! 69position

:hump: :69: :twisted:)
We will carry out regular strip searches, carefully checking every item of clothing (especially underwear! :twisted:) and all of your important little places :wink:, just to make sure that Sarge hasn't sneaked in any hidden cameras, microphones or any other electronic equipment. We will, of course, allow you to keep oysters and rabbits etc. (for the uninitiated, these are not pets, nor are they for eating. Someone will explain! rolleyes

) but one of my tireless lady helpers will check them out for you first and, no doubt, assist you with them. Sappho and Sassy - that's your department, ok?
Just to prove that we have nothing to hide, all our activities will be filmed and then broadcast publicly. That will prove to the world how your privacy is being guarded and protected! duel

Will
Only ever thinking of others!! :smug:

7 Dec 2006

24/7/360 :smug:

7 Dec 2006

I can do Monday night :rascal:

7 Dec 2006

I'll do the Saturday morning/afternoon shift. biggrin

Are there any fringe benefits?

7 Dec 2006

Thank you Pete, Shireen, FB and voddy. This is looking more like it :happy:
I want at least 50 names ready for duty in Missy's bedroom, bathroom or anywhere else that she needs us! So, come on. Who else is volunteering? :notes:
We will need to be very attentive, of course. If she drops the soap in the bath I expect there to be at least half a dozen hands in there like a shot to retrieve it for her. Of course, there may have to be a little groping around before we find it if there is too much bath foam to see what we're doing! :twisted: lol

All applications to me, Missy's self-appointed personal guardian duel

Oh, by the way Missy. You may recall that my relationship with Sappho first got started by me defending her honour with lots of :duel: :duel: Bearing in mind what has happened since, exactly how many children do you want to have in two years' time? :giggle: :giggle:
Will innocent

7 Dec 2006

Quote by Pete_sw
24/7/360 :smug:

What? Are you taking five days off over Christmas then? biggrin

I see this as something vocational. I'm prepared to accept an apprenticeship, which requires me to devote my entire life to it. I have seen the light! (and it's not Sarge's floodlamp either!). If Missy could open her legs just that little bit wider I might be able to see what it is.
.

7 Dec 2006

Ahh, Choon, me old mate. I knew I could rely on you! I nearly sent you a PM but had a feeling that you would do the decent thing and volunteer anyway. We need more chaps like you!
Will wipes a poignant tear from his eye
Now then, guys and girls. Missy needs us (whether she likes it or not!! :giggle smile

Will :twisted:

7 Dec 2006

Quote by willxx69
Will wipes a poignant teat from his eye

Errm..... Will, my friend, I think you spelt that wrong.
I think you mean 'pointed'?
.

7 Dec 2006

:shock: Will made a spelling mistake!
Oh, OK it was a typo rolleyes

7 Dec 2006

Can I help at all lol

7 Dec 2006

Quote by de_sade
Cleaned my weapon. Ready for action. :sparring:
Now, who wants some..?

Me me me!!! :happy: :happy:
Will you can put me down for some duties, I have a couple of weeks off so anytime anyplace ;)
But as I quite fancy Sarge I may be more prone to distraction techniques as opposed to close protection work :giggle:

7 Dec 2006

what i want to know...............whos gonna keep an eye on Bilko??????????????
dee n Rich

7 Dec 2006

Count me in :bounce:

7 Dec 2006

Quote by Rich_and_dee
what i want to know...............whos gonna keep an eye on Bilko??????????????
dee n Rich

ME!!!!!
I know he wants me :smug: :giggle:

7 Dec 2006

I do hope all the available shifts haven't been taken!
I've been waiting for a chance to try out my new 'human blanket' manoeuvre, and this seems like too good an opportunity to miss. :rascal:

7 Dec 2006

Quote by Rich_and_dee
what i want to know...............whos gonna keep an eye on Bilko??????????????
dee n Rich

OOhhhh, I will offer to do that, :twisted: put me down for loads of shifts watching Sarge wink

Minxy, we can always share, I really dont mind if you want him, I mean want to watch him one day a week lol

7 Dec 2006

Quote by de_sade

I know he wants me :smug: :giggle:

I believe he is not the only one. :rascal:
Oooh de_sade, you never said :inlove: :happy: ;)

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
what i want to know...............whos gonna keep an eye on Bilko??????????????
dee n Rich

OOhhhh, I will offer to do that, :twisted: put me down for loads of shifts watching Sarge wink

Minxy, we can always share, I really dont mind if you want him, I mean want to watch him one day a week lol

Now look here Lady-IF I decide to share him with you, I get him Monday to Thursday-you can have him Friday to Sunday biggrin

;)

7 Dec 2006

Quote by BiWelshMinx
Now look here Lady-IF I decide to share him with you, I get him Monday to Thursday-you can have him Friday to Sunday ;)

Compromise? You have him Monday to Wednesday, I have him Friday to Sunday and we share on a Thursday :twisted:
What day is it today??????

7 Dec 2006

Quote by de_sade
I do hope all the available shifts haven't been taken!
I've been waiting for a chance to try out my new 'human blanket' manoeuvre, and this seems like too good an opportunity to miss. :rascal:

Human blanket? Is that like an "officer's groundsheet" in reverse (?) and if so can I be the duvet? wink

Fired my weapon twice at the thought of my involvement, now off for a pint of milk and a reload. innocent

:laughabove:
I have no idea what an "officer's groundsheet" manoeuvre (but in reverse) is, or any other direction for that matter!
When you've reloaded maybe you could pop round and show me. :grin:

7 Dec 2006

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple

Now look here Lady-IF I decide to share him with you, I get him Monday to Thursday-you can have him Friday to Sunday ;)

Compromise? You have him Monday to Wednesday, I have him Friday to Sunday and we share on a Thursday :twisted:
What day is it today??????
Last time I checked it was Thursday :twisted: :twisted: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Ooohhh Sargeeey baby, where art tho ??
:giggle:

7 Dec 2006

Quote by de_sade
It's a great life in the SH Army Volunteers. More recruits needed NOW !!!

Im tied up looking after Sarge Thursday to Sunday (I wish) but more than willing to volunteer to help out on the other nights. So who am I perving the other nights? Missy, Kiss or you :twisted:

7 Dec 2006

Come on all, sing a long together now :_
We are the SH Army,
Every one of us cares,
We all like Swingin, Doggin and Munches,
Unlike the rest of you squares.
There are innocuous folk songs,
But we regard them with scorn,
The blokes that sing em have no social consience,
Well they dont even get a horn. (i could go on)
Phredd

7 Dec 2006

WTF have I been 'volunteered' for now? blink

Checking Missy's underwear for hidden microphones?
Count me in ! :bounce: :bounce: :rascal:
I can do tomorrow night and saturday wink

7 Dec 2006

Quote by Freckledbird
..........Are there any fringe benefits?

Sod that! I wanna know if there's any FRIDGE benefits?
OK Will put me down for toilet duty. All that time as James Bond has given me a real taste for aquatic missions.......
Unfortunately Miss will have to use tha sink to "go" as I don'tt do water-sports. wink

:lol:

7 Dec 2006

now that the heat is off missy wink

Has Bilko gone into hiding cos he's scared lol

dee n Rich

7 Dec 2006

Quote by Rich_and_dee

Has Bilko gone into hiding cos he's scared
dee n Rich

He's not in hiding, its Thursday and Minxy and I share him on Thursday's, he is just toooo shattered to log on :giggle:

7 Dec 2006

you can count me in as well lol

7 Dec 2006

OMG!!!! :shock:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Wiiiiiillll!!!!!!!!!!!!
What the bluddy ell you done hunny?? Now, you know I love you very much, you've got your heart in the right place .......... but how the bluddy ell does the gorgeous Sappho, not only cope, but always be so calm and serene when you're togged out in yer 'good plan' pants?? dunno

Day started off at with the new alarm! :scared:
To be greeted with a row of
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :shock:
(actually I woke with an unprepared giant sneeze, hence last smiley)
When I went to the bathroom I couldn't get in!!

Couldn't take a shower
Even me kitchen was full up when I went down for me coffee!!

Set off for work ........ with an escort!! :shock:

Do a days hard grafting, drive home, with escort
Arrive back, only to find me conservatory roofs blown off :x :x :x
All of a sudden....... silence........... a tumbleweed moment!! (usually means Rogers about somewhere :rotflmao:
:whistling: :whistling: :whistling: :whistling: :whistling: :whistling:
So borrowed some ladders, and fixed the roof myself :x
Took ladders back, shut front door, walked in lounge and...
doing his ditty!! :drinkies: :drinkies:
:drinkies: :drinkies:
(where the bluddy ell did the piano come from?? :shock: )
I've spent the day being stared at, pointed at, WTF'd at, not to mention all the questions - roughly along the lines of "Mum, whats all these strange people doing in our house?" :confused:
Don't worry tho, I told her you're not strange .......... just completely stark raving bluddy mad!!! The lot of ya!!!! :rotflmao:
Now shoooo shoooo!!!! Gimme some peace, quiet and the remote control!!
Starting to look like the bluddy GFZ in here!!! :shock:
Mind you - with this lot for company, a girl really can't go wrong at all :twisted: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
And where's Will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7 Dec 2006

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple

Has Bilko gone into hiding cos he's scared
dee n Rich

He's not in hiding, its Thursday and Minxy and I share him on Thursday's, he is just toooo shattered to log on :giggle:
lmao................RIP Bilko :thrilled:

7 Dec 2006

I look after him on Fridays :twisted:
:giggle: