Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Things I have learnt today!!
Orgasminator
missy I admit it I own one of those static steam engines
Orgasminator
Quote by Missy
missy I admit it I own one of those static steam engines
OMG
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:And you talk gobbledy !! :shock:
You're one of them, you really are a proper real live one!!!
:worship: :worship:also have friends that collect tractors, crawlers, generators, yes I can be found at these strange shows
Sex God
1. Its difficult to find somewhere to put 250 odd dvds when you have no shelves or cupboards.
2. It is possible to remove the musical component out of musical socks so that you can actually wear them without fear of getting stabbed.
3. I have wasted 3 years of my life doing a college course that i have no interest in.
2. It is possible to remove the musical component out of musical socks so that you can actually wear them without fear of getting stabbed.
3. I have wasted 3 years of my life doing a college course that i have no interest in.
Today I learnt .......................
1. Hitting the Employers PC doesnt make it work
2. Turning the PC off at the wall can sometimes cause a bit of a problem
ops:
3. Fibbing to the I.T. specialist isnt always a clever thing to do :oops:
4. Crashing a system while 11 other people are trying to use it may not always make you popular :oops:
5. Nipping to the coffee machine while all hell breaks loose in the Office, doesnt always mean that they wont realise it was you, who did it :oops:
I wuv my new job :giggle:
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Founder Member of the "bring back pens & paper campaign"
1. Hitting the Employers PC doesnt make it work
2. Turning the PC off at the wall can sometimes cause a bit of a problem
ops: 3. Fibbing to the I.T. specialist isnt always a clever thing to do :oops:
4. Crashing a system while 11 other people are trying to use it may not always make you popular :oops:
5. Nipping to the coffee machine while all hell breaks loose in the Office, doesnt always mean that they wont realise it was you, who did it :oops:
I wuv my new job :giggle:
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Founder Member of the "bring back pens & paper campaign"
Sex God
Today I learnt not to attempt to bleed my own radiators after reading this thread! 
Thank you muchly for that! :lol: :lol:
Thank you muchly for that!
:lol: :lol: Quote by Sgt Bilko
What I've learned today
A Guinea Fowl can tell just by the way you walk whether you're gonna feed it or catch it :shock:
A Guinea Fowl can do a vertical take off, very similar to a Harrier Jump Jet, only quicker :shock:
A Guinea Fowl doesn't need tail feathers to to the Harrier Jump Jet manouvre :undecided::? :? :?
A Guinea Fowl will never approach you - not even if you're offering it's tail feathers back :?
Oh Missy I love you!!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: I must make the effort to get down to your neck of the woods and spend a bit of time in Missy's World!!!!!!
Oi you there's a queue
get to the back 
Lessons I have learnt today (yesterday to be exact)
What they say about loft insulation shouldn't be poo poohed
Loft insulation that says "virtually itch free" is very true - I didn't have one virtual itch at all - I had millions of real ones
Loft insulation that's in a special protective plastic cover with nice silver bits on, shouldn't be cut apart :?
Loft insulation makes you feel like you've be put into a big bag of spices and shaken
It's not a good idea to take your, already embarrassed child, to a college open day, when you've been playing loft insulating :shock:
Long conversations with college tutors shouldn't be held in above predicament :?
Embarrassed teenagers are not understanding :undecided:
Missy - the human Zinger Burger :(
What they say about loft insulation shouldn't be poo poohed
Loft insulation that says "virtually itch free" is very true - I didn't have one virtual itch at all - I had millions of real ones
Loft insulation that's in a special protective plastic cover with nice silver bits on, shouldn't be cut apart :?
Loft insulation makes you feel like you've be put into a big bag of spices and shaken
It's not a good idea to take your, already embarrassed child, to a college open day, when you've been playing loft insulating :shock:
Long conversations with college tutors shouldn't be held in above predicament :?
Embarrassed teenagers are not understanding :undecided:
Missy - the human Zinger Burger :(
Quote by Missy
Lessons I have learnt today (yesterday to be exact)
What they say about loft insulation shouldn't be poo poohed
Loft insulation that says "virtually itch free" is very true - I didn't have one virtual itch at all - I had millions of real ones
Loft insulation that's in a special protective plastic cover with nice silver bits on, shouldn't be cut apart :?
Loft insulation makes you feel like you've be put into a big bag of spices and shaken
It's not a good idea to take your, already embarrassed child, to a college open day, when you've been playing loft insulating :shock:
Long conversations with college tutors shouldn't be held in above predicament :?
Embarrassed teenagers are not understanding :undecided:
Missy - the human Zinger Burger :(
yes we had this put in before christmas and boy I itched for days! :evil: non itching indeed! 
its horrible when you get that stuff on you!! Hangs around for days even after having a bath etc
Sex God
Things I have learnt today:-
Is that my local town might flood even more tonight, because of all the rain.... houses along the river line have been sand bagged.
Is that my local town might flood even more tonight, because of all the rain....
houses along the river line have been sand bagged. Lessons I learnt some time last year when attempting to be a mumsy type domestic goddess......
I learned you should not attempt to be a mumsy type domestic goddess with 4 children age14, 10, 8 and 4 in ther kitchen, without another adult in the house.
I learned that you should also NOT try to crowd said 4 children round a small ancient gas cooker, whilst attempting to make sugar syrup.
It is also VERY unwise to turn the cookery demonstration into a health and safety lecture about just how hot BOILING sugar syrup can get, and to never EVER get it on your skin as its far hotter than spilling a cup of tea on you.
I learned that you must use a sugar thermometer to test the temperature of said boiling sugar syrup, and NOT the tip of a metal sppon dipped into the syrup.
I learned that sugar syrup, even on the tip of that cold metal spoon and blown for a nano second, is MOST DEFINATELY STILL not cool enough to test with the tip of your bloody wanking finger!! :shock: :shock:
Sugar syrup, even that which has been out of the pan for a few minutes, is still hot enough to melt to your skin and stick to your finger tip, thus erasing most of your fingerprint for several layers of skin downwards :eeek:
Its also NOT a brilliant idea to instinctively put your hot finger in your mouth, whilst its still covered in molten syrup, as the aforementioned goo will also adhere to the tender border of your lip where it meets the delicate inside skin of your mouth.
Its a good idea to have alternative NON SWEAR words on hand to bellow whilst 4 children look on in a mixture of amusement and horror as you dance round the kitchen.
Running a burnt finger with a blister the size of a large grape on it, under the cold tap, doesnt make it stop hurting, neither does drinking a pint of cold water soothe a burnt lip.
I learned that bravely carrying on with your recipe, to amaze your kids t with the piece de resistance of your recipe for cinder toffee, by adding a spoonful of bicarbonate of soda to the caremalised sugar, to make it all fizz up impressively, and make that special honeycomb texture in the toffee, is all flipping well WASTED when Mr Bone turns up at that PRECISE moment with a new addition to our snake collection!!
:x
And I also learned that taking your eye off the pan of caramelising sugar to administer first aid to yourself isnt a good idea, as when you get to the end of the recipe and the cinder toffe has cooled, and when you get to the grand taste testing, the fecking stuff has burned beyond belief and now has the taste of burning car tyres, and the texture of drawing charcoal :shock: :upset: :upset: :upset:
I learned you should not attempt to be a mumsy type domestic goddess with 4 children age14, 10, 8 and 4 in ther kitchen, without another adult in the house.
I learned that you should also NOT try to crowd said 4 children round a small ancient gas cooker, whilst attempting to make sugar syrup.
It is also VERY unwise to turn the cookery demonstration into a health and safety lecture about just how hot BOILING sugar syrup can get, and to never EVER get it on your skin as its far hotter than spilling a cup of tea on you.
I learned that you must use a sugar thermometer to test the temperature of said boiling sugar syrup, and NOT the tip of a metal sppon dipped into the syrup.
I learned that sugar syrup, even on the tip of that cold metal spoon and blown for a nano second, is MOST DEFINATELY STILL not cool enough to test with the tip of your bloody wanking finger!! :shock: :shock:
Sugar syrup, even that which has been out of the pan for a few minutes, is still hot enough to melt to your skin and stick to your finger tip, thus erasing most of your fingerprint for several layers of skin downwards :eeek:
Its also NOT a brilliant idea to instinctively put your hot finger in your mouth, whilst its still covered in molten syrup, as the aforementioned goo will also adhere to the tender border of your lip where it meets the delicate inside skin of your mouth.
Its a good idea to have alternative NON SWEAR words on hand to bellow whilst 4 children look on in a mixture of amusement and horror as you dance round the kitchen.
Running a burnt finger with a blister the size of a large grape on it, under the cold tap, doesnt make it stop hurting, neither does drinking a pint of cold water soothe a burnt lip.
I learned that bravely carrying on with your recipe, to amaze your kids t with the piece de resistance of your recipe for cinder toffee, by adding a spoonful of bicarbonate of soda to the caremalised sugar, to make it all fizz up impressively, and make that special honeycomb texture in the toffee, is all flipping well WASTED when Mr Bone turns up at that PRECISE moment with a new addition to our snake collection!!
:x And I also learned that taking your eye off the pan of caramelising sugar to administer first aid to yourself isnt a good idea, as when you get to the end of the recipe and the cinder toffe has cooled, and when you get to the grand taste testing, the fecking stuff has burned beyond belief and now has the taste of burning car tyres, and the texture of drawing charcoal :shock:
:upset: :upset: :upset: 