Trust and friendship

3 Jun 2008

Quote by firelizard
Gut instinct is my first port of call and if that feels ok I will trust until I am given a reason not to.

OK, so I call it the force, but I feel exactly the same way. I am genuinely a trusting person, once the voices in my head tell me that it is safe. Over the years I've told Dawnie on a number of occasions that the force was strong with certain individuals. It rarely has proved me wrong.
Admitedly, sometimes the trust fairy throws a curve ball and somebody you thought was a true friend does something way out of character. Depends on what they've done, and how you react as to the end result I guess. We all have the option to forgive and / or forget dunno

I have one person that I class as a true friend (immediate family excluded). We've known each other for around 25 years and although we may go a couple of months without speaking to each other due to hectic lifestyles, we are always there for each other. Like the "can you pick me up from Heathrow at 4 in the morning". It was a cold journey down there but I went without question.
ian

3 Jun 2008

Quote by winchwench
snip
But now it looks like someone I'd have staked my life on being utterly, totally trustworthy, may have taken me for a mug. I've trusted him-literally- with my kids lives. I believed we were really, really close friends. If it turns out I was wrong about him, then I've screwed up bigtime. Who knows how it will affect my ability to trust? snip

If he has lost your friendship then the only thing worth saying is its his loss .......And one day hopefully he will realise and never stop kicking himself kiss

4 Jun 2008

There are very few people I would call true and trusted friends. As I have gotten older I have realised its quality not quantity that matters when it comes to friends. I guess im lucky as non of them have ever shit on me. It has taken me a little while to really trust my first instincts when it comes to people and I`d like to think im getting better at it!!!.

4 Jun 2008

Quote by Steve
snip
But now it looks like someone I'd have staked my life on being utterly, totally trustworthy, may have taken me for a mug. I've trusted him-literally- with my kids lives. I believed we were really, really close friends. If it turns out I was wrong about him, then I've screwed up bigtime. Who knows how it will affect my ability to trust? snip

If he has lost your friendship then the only thing worth saying is its his loss .......And one day hopefully he will realise and never stop kicking himself kiss

You're s sweetheart :kiss: The rest of them up there are all barstewards! flipa

4 Jun 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
Awwww Hel I am touched.
I think you secretly fancy me. :shock:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Touched where I come from means a bit of a dipstick :lol:
Havent seen you to pass comment but Id give ya bike's pipe a bj! redface

:lol:

4 Jun 2008

Quote by jaymar
PK.. this really struck hard...I'm sure all of us as swingers have come across this at one time or another. It happened to us once, someone once said something about Jay which really hurt me but you get over it and move on, I suppose you just have to don't you?xx

Thanks lovely :kiss: Yes you have to get over it and move on.....it took me some time to do that but now I actually see it as a positive in my life rather than a negative smile

I lost an awful lot when the events unfolded, but my life now if fabulous :bounce: and that is down to the changes I had to make. I didn't want to make those changes at the time but now I'm in a really happy place with my career on track and a fabulous support network around me I couldn't be happier. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it was a very shitty time for me but once I came through it and sorted out the situation, I've found myself in a happier place than I was before :)
Like I said.....everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it' bad, but being able to get something positive out of the situation is the key. :)

4 Jun 2008

Quote by helnheaven

Awwww Hel I am touched.
I think you secretly fancy me. :shock:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Touched where I come from means a bit of a dipstick :lol:
Havent seen you to pass comment but Id give ya bike's pipe a bj! redface

:lol:
Theres a pic on me profile. :lol:

4 Jun 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
Theres a pic on me profile.

Yer but its that old trust thing again init...
Is it really Kenty or aint it :lol:

4 Jun 2008

Friends and aquaintances are seperated by the extent to which one trusts them.
We should go out on a limb to trust those who we reguard as friends for only this will engender their trust in us and then and only then will a true friendship be formed.
Should we trust and risk betrayal ...oh so yes ....we must continue to put our necks on the line and yes, sometimes, take the pain of human do anything else lessens us as people and constrains what we give to others.
Two lessons I have learned in life .....
it is sometimes one of life's priveledges to witness a person who acts with total integrity and loyalty to a friend of theirs sometimes at a personal cost to themselves, then I make sure I let the friend know what act of loyalty has been performed on their behalf ....hey its hard enough to spot real friends and we could all do with a little help.
I personally was convinced a family member was conspiring to disadvantage me to their own benefit. Every action they took seemed to confirm my worst fears Many different factors supported my fears . When matters came to a head this person gave up half of what I thought they had conspired to take, They did so voluntarily and sponsored by integrity . This totally blew me away ......and demonstrated just how much you can misjudge some people and their actions . I no longer jump to unfounded conclusions.
So trust as much as you can.... the rewards are our victory and the losses are accumulated by those that betray us.
I hope I haven't talked to much bollox
Have a nice day
Ngde

4 Jun 2008

Quote by firelizard
It's not what happens Kate it's how you deal with it. It's all about attitude and yours I bet was to get on and deal with stuff. What has happened to you shows more about their faults than anything you may have or may not have done

Yes of course it does, and yes I will always take everything in my stride. I think I can see another thread coming on from this.........let me have a think and I'll be back smile

4 Jun 2008

Quote by poshkate

It's not what happens Kate it's how you deal with it. It's all about attitude and yours I bet was to get on and deal with stuff. What has happened to you shows more about their faults than anything you may have or may not have done

Yes of course it does, and yes I will always take everything in my stride. I think I can see another thread coming on from this.........let me have a think and I'll be back smile

Oh, bugger. PK is thinking! :scared:

4 Jun 2008

Quote by winchwench

It's not what happens Kate it's how you deal with it. It's all about attitude and yours I bet was to get on and deal with stuff. What has happened to you shows more about their faults than anything you may have or may not have done

Yes of course it does, and yes I will always take everything in my stride. I think I can see another thread coming on from this.........let me have a think and I'll be back smile

Oh, bugger. PK is thinking! :scared:
just you wait mrs smackbottom

5 Jun 2008

Quote by jaymar
...
Maybe I'm being naive, but when do you know that that someone is actually an 'acquaintance' and not a friend?
At what point can you 100% trust someone, or can you really ever 100% trust someone?? :dry:

Fact you can trust anyone 100%, there is nothing stopping you. The problem is you may be wrong. That is not because you trusted them. It is because they are immoral.
Is it possible to trust and be right? Yes! It is just that there are not many out there. We can all be fouls, open our mouth at the wrong time. Some can be simple mean.
It is possible to know those who can not be trusted, they have broken trust before. Those that can be trusted are harder to see.
The bottom line is the best way to keep a secret is to tell no one.
So give time to friendship, treat them as you would like to be treated....but you do not have to tell every friend everything.
That makes me a sad person? No.

5 Jun 2008

Quote by
...
Maybe I'm being naive, but when do you know that that someone is actually an 'acquaintance' and not a friend?
At what point can you 100% trust someone, or can you really ever 100% trust someone?? :dry:

It is because they are immoral.
So give time to friendship, treat them as you would like to be treated....but you do not have to tell every friend everything.That makes me a sad person? No.
:shock: Immoral? how?
I very much do treat my friends how I'd like to be treat, thing is they don't always return the compliment, hence the thread in the first place. wink

5 Jun 2008

Quote by jaymar
...
Maybe I'm being naive, but when do you know that that someone is actually an 'acquaintance' and not a friend?
At what point can you 100% trust someone, or can you really ever 100% trust someone?? :dry:

It is because they are immoral.
So give time to friendship, treat them as you would like to be treated....but you do not have to tell every friend everything.That makes me a sad person? No.
:shock: Immoral? how?
I very much do treat my friends how I'd like to be treat, thing is they don't always return the compliment, hence the thread in the first place. wink

Anyone who betrays a trust, with no good reason, is in my book immoral. I guess it depends on personal moral standards. Some say killing all day is fine but see your wife getting fucked is immoral. Myself I will look on to the enjoyment of all. That is my morals, part of those morals is to avoid betraying a trust, others may consider it OK, ie. it is OK to consider short term self interest first.
I did not say you do not treat your friend well, it was more of a general piece of advice, to all.
Am I your friend?

8 Jun 2008

One monumental misunderstanding later.....I'm relieved to say I was wrong! biggrin

8 Jun 2008

Quote by winchwench
One monumental misunderstanding later.....I'm relieved to say I was wrong!

ah im glad to hear that kiss