umm..indeed what is a swinger....
well I have to say for me, its as much a state of mind as sexual activity. I feel it is someone that is sexually open minded, and in time willing to test out limits, and bounderies as well as fulfiling fantasies.
its definately a state of mind.
this is personally what i feel and i am in no way saying this is the difinitive.
The sexual act.....
I have always disconected sex from love. To me it has always been an act, sometimes i would say its a hobby.
When trying to explain this to people i would say its like anyone who may like fishing, golf, etc. Its an activity that i enjoy, sometimes as a spectator, sometimes as i participant. Maybe with couple, singles, groups etc.
I wouldnt feel jelous if with a partner and he was swinging, just as i wouldnt be if he was playing golf with someone other than me.
socially.....
I like to be friends with people i swing with. I like conversation, fun, sharing outlooks and hopefully enriching someones day and the same in return.
I dont always swing with everyone whos a swinger that i socially meet.
I dont see the chat rooms as an avenue to arrange a sexual meet, but more to chat with people about anything, but to know im in an enviroment that is accepting of my hobby.
mentally....
im a swinger, this isnt for me something that im exploring while im single, it isnt because i hate men or have been hurt and cant have a relationship, it isnt a ploy to sucker a guy in and then go cold.
i have met men, some on here who are single swingers, but when/ if it starts turing into more they have expected me to stop swinging.... I cant i am a swinger.
I dont like it when some people think nsa sex means a quick chat arrange a meet , fuck and leave. for me i need to know the person a bit, personality is more important than looks when it comes to exchanging in my hobby woth another person.
i know in my head im a swinger, if those who think swingers can only be couples, then thats a throw back from the old wife swap days.
i hope that makes some sense, and it was in no way a dig at anyone elses take on swinging
xxx fem xxx
I agree it is a state of mind!
We as a couple like to meet guys so that I Mrs minx can have fun. Sometimes this can be MMF with hubby sometimes hubby likes to watch. We are both very relaxed and there are no set plans we just go with the flow (please ignore the pun)
I think any adult that likes to participate in this kind of pleasure no matter how many numbers are involved are swingers!
That old chestnut again. I have always considered swinging to be the providence of married couples, who arrange sex amongst themselves. Unmarried people are free to do whatever they want sexually, so they don't need any special conditions to do so.
One has to consider whether unmarried partners have the same association with swinging as do the married. Its an arguable situation as in many ways there are similar values and conditions. In the current sexual environment a lot of activities avoid labelling and grouping.
There is also a 'safety net' for the married swinger in that if they found themselves under seduction from someone else, they can default to conventionality and assert their marital status. Also if the couple began to find their lifestyle undermining their relationship they could again default to conventionality and bring themselves back into line.
The same could equally apply to an unmarried couple in terms of relationship values. But somehow married couples bring with them more reassurance about their relationship and the realtionship of other swingers in swinging situations. Quite often this has a subtle effect on the dynamics amongst swingers.
Perhaps it shouldn't do, and maybe its not necessary if one is a sexual adventurer. But relationships require some form of self government and if swinging spoils this, then again the relationship will default to conventionality to repair itself.
So I think that couples who go out there are aware of the vulnerability inherrent in swinging and have something to safe guard against this. Very often that is marriage.
Did I mention single people? They could swing, But its unusal to find that for whatever reasons. I can remember having sequential sexual relationships in a very short space of each other during school years. Group parties and sometimes 4 in a room, but we didn't swing full on.
Somehow swinging originates from within a relationship. So at the very least it needs that as a springboard. So I can see that is now a popular opinion in defining the practice of swinging.
A swinger is basically someone who can differentiate between sex for love and sex for recreation and is willing to go beyond most of society's sexual taboos.
I agree its a nice neat expression. Unfortunately it could include reckless cruisers and a variety of singles or cheaters under its description. And we know that there is a very definite avoidance of readily inviting such; by the majority of swingers in partnerships.
I think the term 'swing' is a big clue...
anybody who is liberal and able to find their pleasure in 'swinging' (to and from) nature is a swinger.
Basically the origin comes from just that, not being steadfast with one person, but able to move freely between multiple people.
That's not to be confused with a stable relationship (your partner), it's merely in terms of temporary pleasure found in folks other than one partner.
Also, it doesn't dictate how that pleasure is found. It needn't be full sex, or even contact sex... it could just as well be exhibitionism, or voyeurism etc.
And what does it matter? With so many communities (like Dominance and submission, BDSM, swinging, exhibitionism etc) folks sometimes want to make their group unique and sometimes elite. That's when they start to make definitions of who is and who isn't in their group.. in order to say they are in, and you are out. Swinging by nature is a liberal act, so makes sense to me that swingers in their mentality should be liberal too.
If someone believes they are swingers, they are swingers. Who are we or anybody else to say they aren't?
... a swing that doesn't move very often, remains a swing.
/TheKid
Aye, I've been away a long time....
So many new faces I don't know. Doesn't feel quite like it used to, but I'm enjoying being back for the large part.
I love the forums, you tend to get a nicer set of folks who can be arsed to articulate their opinions. I like that, being the pretentious so and so I am!
Nice to see you too! very very long time. I peeked at some mega old postings, and saw Jags (a blast from the past) and Mark who I thought founded this website?... a few other great names too, but think they may have vanished.
Thanks for the welcome back!
If I change my mind then I will and become a non-swingerand god willing if I make 90 doing what i do i'll become the oldest swinger in town :D groan 
at Lost 
And all this time I thought I was just a slapper!!!
Curious now, where? 
