why do people think its ok to be vile to someone?

25 Mar 2009

Quote by Kez_n_ste
(Quote snipped for neatness.)
But why do u have to discourage bad manners? is that your role in life? I got better things to do with my time and energy.
Can u not just ignor whispers they soon get fed up and go away and you have not either played into their hands by cutting and pasting or been trivial about a mole hill which then becomes a mountain.
Swinging is about fun lets keep it that way.
Ste

Interesting question (bolded). My take is that everyone has a right - maybe even a responsibility - to speak out against stuff that reduces the quality of life. That includes bad manners.
Recently I've been running a series of one-day courses. They start at and the attendees know this.
So far not one of the courses has been able to start on time because at least 3 out of 8 each day have strolled in after (often well after) the start time. it doesn't have much effect - everyone else sitting around waiting and we may go over the end time a little. No-one dies, it doesn't cost any extra money. BUT it is a discourtesy to me and to the other attendees who did mange to get in in time.
As to unwanted whispers, I cut and paste IF it's totally unacceptable. If it's mild I just post in the room that they don't need to whisper.
Why are they unacceptable? Well, imagine if a stranger came into the pub, saw you chatting with your friends. Then sidled up behind you and whispered in your ear "hi, do you want to chat?". Ok it's inoffensive, but it's still unacceptable.

25 Mar 2009

it is one thing running a course and your students being late, i would not find it acceptable my staff being late but policing sh is up to the ops and mods
Naturally abusive and extreemly rude whispers are unacceptable but there are chanels to deal with them
however tonight i have found that those who donot like whispers arte able to disable them and that has made a significant improvement in the room conversation flow

25 Mar 2009

Being able to block some and keep others would be good. But then I'm greedy.

26 Mar 2009

Quote by foxylady2209

(Quote snipped for neatness.)
But why do u have to discourage bad manners? is that your role in life? I got better things to do with my time and energy.
Can u not just ignor whispers they soon get fed up and go away and you have not either played into their hands by cutting and pasting or been trivial about a mole hill which then becomes a mountain.
Swinging is about fun lets keep it that ]
Previous quote is a misquote

Interesting question (bolded). My take is that everyone has a right - maybe even a responsibility - to speak out against stuff that reduces the quality of life. That includes bad manners.
Recently I've been running a series of one-day courses. They start at and the attendees know this.
So far not one of the courses has been able to start on time because at least 3 out of 8 each day have strolled in after (often well after) the start time. it doesn't have much effect - everyone else sitting around waiting and we may go over the end time a little. No-one dies, it doesn't cost any extra money. BUT it is a discourtesy to me and to the other attendees who did mange to get in in time.
As to unwanted whispers, I cut and paste IF it's totally unacceptable. If it's mild I just post in the room that they don't need to whisper.
Why are they unacceptable? Well, imagine if a stranger came into the pub, saw you chatting with your friends. Then sidled up behind you and whispered in your ear "hi, do you want to chat?". Ok it's inoffensive, but it's still unacceptable.
Good post Foxy and I agree that there is no excuse for bad manners, I will most times ignore whispers of "hi how are you" because I have found most times if I reply in whisper politly I get a response like e.g. so can I come round and shag you?"
If I get an offensive whisper in the first off I will copy & paste in the room along with my reply. I dont do it as an ego boost, or to show how many whispers I get etc I do it because they have no manners & 9 times out of 10 the offenders then stop.
I now must point out that how midsprincess responded to Ste's post we have now been misquoted in yours foxy, the quote you have as kez_n_ste are NOT our words but those of midsprincess so I have edited it in my quote as it should be.
The block whisper feature hopefully will allow you to click on the list of roomies & block the offending individual rather than only block all whispers as we too enjoy whispers from desirable people biggrin

26 Mar 2009

This chatroom banter thing can be a problem.
It took me a while to realise that old hands in the chat rooms can be as abusive as they wish when they "banter" with their "friends".
I still think such behaviour makes the chat rooms less popular than they otherwise would be. It also encourages less experienced chatters to join in with the "good natured ribbing". I have been deeply offended on a few occasions by what others have assured me was just "banter".
I must be over sensitive.

26 Mar 2009

Copy and paste?? dunno

Chat-numpty here!
.

26 Mar 2009

Quote by westerross
Copy and paste??
Chat-numpty here!
.

Select the text whispered. Press CTRL and C at the same time. Select the place where you type your own comments and press CTRL and V at the same time. The text will be copied from the chat room and pasted into the comment line and you can enter it as normal.
Make sure you include the 'XXX whispers' bit so you identify the sender.
BUT - apply this method sparingly, and only at need.

26 Mar 2009

Quote by foxylady2209
Copy and paste??
Chat-numpty here!
.

Select the text whispered. Press CTRL and C at the same time. Select the place where you type your own comments and press CTRL and V at the same time. The text will be copied from the chat room and pasted into the comment line and you can enter it as normal.
Make sure you include the 'XXX whispers' bit so you identify the sender.
BUT - apply this method sparingly, and only at need.
Thanks but why would one want to do it? If it's just for convenience - what's the problem - sorry I'm missing summat here obviously.
.

26 Mar 2009

Quote by westerross
Copy and paste??
Chat-numpty here!
.

Select the text whispered. Press CTRL and C at the same time. Select the place where you type your own comments and press CTRL and V at the same time. The text will be copied from the chat room and pasted into the comment line and you can enter it as normal.
Make sure you include the 'XXX whispers' bit so you identify the sender.
BUT - apply this method sparingly, and only at need.
Thanks but why would one want to do it? If it's just for convenience - what's the problem - sorry I'm missing summat here obviously.
.
Most whispers are totally harmless or at worst mildly irritating. Some are totally out of order, insulting, hurtful and intended to be so. People who do that generally do it to more than one person and it is a nasty, insidious form of bullying.
The best way to deal with people like that is to expose them. When I've had to do it, a number of others have said "he whispered that to me too". It's punishment, true, but also an effective deterrent.

27 Mar 2009

one thing I DO find annoying about whispers (apart from the fact that i've rarely been asked if it's okay to whisper), is that if several people are doing it at once in a busy room, I can't keep up with who's saying what to me in a REAL conversation that I'm actually having, and if I ignore some of them they just keep talking and talking and talking, and THEN they get abusive because I've ignored them. GET THE PICTURE I DON'T WANT TO WHISPER. it's not just because i'm stuck up lol

it's also because I find it very annoying to have to keep clicking on multiple people's names to talk to them, and then having to click back into the main room, I mix up my replies (never in an embarrassing way), but when people do ask I always tend to say 'sorry, I don't whisper, I'm crap at it', and if they try it anyway they can't complain if I don't give them the time of day :lol:

28 Mar 2009

Think we all agree whispers can be annoying at times, however someone pointed out its bad manners, but isnâ€™t it also bad manners to ignore the sites naming and shaming policy and copy and paste whispers in the room.
If you donâ€™t want whispers thatâ€™s fine, ignore them, if theyâ€™re rude report them rather than paste them in the room as weâ€™re pretty sure the people in the room donâ€™t want to read them either.
Seems its ok naming and shaming in the chat room and often encouraged, even though the site policy says otherwise, yet if you hit the caps lock by mistake when typing your a goner.

28 Mar 2009

but how else would the room host know who was whispering out of turn if there was no naming of who was whispering so that they can be a good host and boot the whisperer from the room

28 Mar 2009

Ask if its ok to whisper then tell them confused

:
The same way most would contact a mod /admin if someone was being rude or abusive elsewhere, nobody has to agree but pasting whispers in a chat room is no different from pasting a message from someone on here.
Trying to embarrass someone in a room wont stop it happening, reporting them will, chat logs are there for a reason, all it takes is anyone to type no whispers please, and if its ignored then report them through the usual channels.

28 Mar 2009

i think when someone sends you a message if its nasty you can send it off to admin, and peopel are less likely to send them there, but in chat they whisper without invite and can run amock with loads of abusive whispers to severla different people, you have to find a op, take the details, room etc etc and report it. sometimes its quicker to out them,
if they have no manners and breached the rules by whispering uninvited and continue to do so when asked not to and they think they are big and brave to be insulting or ask for sick sexual requests then they should be brave enough to let the room see their sick minds.
i will say no whispers thanks, please stop or i will paste it in the room.
etc
but why the hell should i?? dont be so fecking rude and whisper me.
sadley the new feature blocks ALL whispers, there isnt a list of friends who can. and if a friend whispers you you dont know they have tried and they dont know you hav ethem switched off.
but a block is better then a night of abuse and twatters who have no manners.
xx fem xx

30 Mar 2009

There is a lot of snobbery, I just ignore it these days.
I remember sometime ago, don't know whether it was even on SH chat, some guy not far from me was apparently looking for men to shag his wife. Being the gentleman I am I offered to assist. He told me he had seen my pics, that I was too fat, too ugly, too old, and had too smal a penis...
I told him the answers maybe, but he wouldn't want to fight me. I don't know if his computer crashed but he left without responding to that.
Anyway, good luck and don't take any s**t from anyone.

30 Mar 2009

has anone else noticed this....but i have found about 99% of the abusive comments i get came about 30 seconds after i have said "no thanks i don't want to meet you" lol silly people with silly egos that bruse very easy smile

30 Mar 2009

Simple: These people are dicks! There sub human scum!

30 Mar 2009

Quote by 2filthy4u
Simple: These people are dicks! There sub human scum!

Bad use of terminology that on a "right on" liberal website like this. "Das Untermenschen" will have them queuing up to call you a nazi.
Yer right about them being dicks though! smile