Stop worrying if they don't like you.
Stop worrying WHY they don't like you.
Realise that you can't make them like you.
Just tell the family to grow up and realise you are who you are.
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Ahabs
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 47
0 miles · Surrey
Forum
Orgasminator
Quote by tweeky
Matt Smith, 11th Doctor - what will he bring to the table? With much luck he'll have done his research and hopes to avoid (in my opinion) the ineffectiveness of Peter Davidson (sorry PD!)
:shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::shock::shock::shock::shock::eek::eek::eek::eek:
Right! :sparring: No slating the PD :twisted: Loved Peter Davidson and I have watched so much of his other work too. As a kid I sat with my parents and watched All creatures great and small and Campion. Ive loved a lot of Peter Davidsons work I puposely tune in to programs he is in. Fantastic in At home with the Braithwaites, Distant Shores, and Dr Who
to name but a few. He probably has the best regeneration scene too, not when he arrives when he leaves. Guys a Legend 
He's a public figure - he's fair game across ALL galaxies! him and his celery stick!
Orgasminator
Quote by Lost
i can verify myself if that helps anyone. i genuinely don't meet anyone else other than the one person i meet. amazingly guys still don't believe me and still ask to meet me.
whips
I can always understand why people dont get it. This is a swinging site right? Maybe they think you just put that statement so you can choose who you want when you want. Its a bit like belonging to the lego fan website and trying to tell the other members you dont like lego.
Lego ffs!
Someone's always got to lower the tone to stickign a peg into a round hole haven't they??
Orgasminator
Quote by Kaznkev
Speed Swinging?
Isn't that when you PM every single woman in a 20 mile radius with a 'wanna shag?' message and see who says yes? :mrgreen:
oh yes the "Im 20 minutes away chat up line",gets me wet every time,the idea that someonwe actaully could be here and finished within half an hour then i can get back to my farming :wary:
Alas, the joys of FarmVille
Regarding "Speed Swing" - I'm going to guess its basically a "Post here if you're free to meet today" type facility. But that's just a guess. If so is it too late to vote "I don't want it" as that leaves my information open to the whole site to see when I'm free, that how often and free and hence potential criticism of my "desperation to meet 'anyone'"?
Orgasminator
Quote by Steve
Yes yes yes - what want to know... where are the voting buttons so I can stop feeling like a dumba**? ;)
I thought that but then thought it was probably because I'd already voted way back in the distant past.
.
Either that or the time for the poll to stay live has elapsed...
I doubt it - the figures have been moving over the last 3 days so sme people have successfully voted.
Orgasminator
Ok, this might sound harsh but...
In my experience (personal as well as other people's ... admittedly mostly vanilla) - a lady will tell a man "its the biggest and best I've ever had" when madly in love with him. On advent of a break-up however it is suddenly "the smallest limp dick she's unfortunately coem across".
Was she lying then or is she lying now? And does it mean swinging females are more honest that vanilla females? I don't know the answers to these.
When people ask me "How big are you?" There's no point claiming some figure that "may or may not be" so I tell them "2 inches", leaving them to choose between the person they know me to be or the appendage they are yet to explore. And if that's not good enough, I send them a baseball bat in the post to have fun with.
I am who I am - mental, PHYSICAL, psychological, emotional and spiitual.
Everything I am is a result of everything I have ever been and yet to be - take it or leave it ;)
In my experience (personal as well as other people's ... admittedly mostly vanilla) - a lady will tell a man "its the biggest and best I've ever had" when madly in love with him. On advent of a break-up however it is suddenly "the smallest limp dick she's unfortunately coem across".
Was she lying then or is she lying now? And does it mean swinging females are more honest that vanilla females? I don't know the answers to these.
When people ask me "How big are you?" There's no point claiming some figure that "may or may not be" so I tell them "2 inches", leaving them to choose between the person they know me to be or the appendage they are yet to explore. And if that's not good enough, I send them a baseball bat in the post to have fun with.
I am who I am - mental, PHYSICAL, psychological, emotional and spiitual.
Everything I am is a result of everything I have ever been and yet to be - take it or leave it ;)
Orgasminator
Dr Who - my thoughts:
The first time I saw CE (Chris Eccleston) I thought "Wha? And where-the-flip is my regeneration scene??" (We never saw a post-one-off-Paul McGahan-movie-to-new-series-regeneration" scene. Eventually CE proved to be a very effective Doctor. Would have loved him to stay on for more than one year but hey,powers that be.
My second thought, on seeing the debut of David Tenant was "Who the flip is this boffoon?", well, the boffoon proved me VERY wrong as he's shown to have made the role his own, the first person who could steal a role since Tom Baker (yes, MY Doctor!)
My next thought, on seeing the new TARDIS (not "Tardis") interior was to quote Patrick Troughton's 2nd Doctor "I see you've redecorated - I don't like it!" - it looked like someone's pre-puke guts after a night of too many after-shock red mixes. It has however proven to match the unpredictable instability of The Doctor for a more modern viewer.
Matt Smith, 11th Doctor - what will he bring to the table? With much luck he'll have done his research and hopes to avoid (in my opinion) the ineffectiveness of Peter Davidson (sorry PD!) but has a wealth of information behind him ro realise as he grows into the character, The Doctor is his to weird, interprete and transform. As long as he doesn't over do it and remember "The Doctor is a brilliant yet slightly arrogant sod" I think he'll do just fine. His youth means he has options of longetivity whilst avoiding being type-cast (something I fear even DT will struggle to shake off for sometime).
I must admit I know nothing of MS but I do wish him well (just wish he'd put down that damn gun!).
The first time I saw CE (Chris Eccleston) I thought "Wha? And where-the-flip is my regeneration scene??" (We never saw a post-one-off-Paul McGahan-movie-to-new-series-regeneration" scene. Eventually CE proved to be a very effective Doctor. Would have loved him to stay on for more than one year but hey,powers that be.
My second thought, on seeing the debut of David Tenant was "Who the flip is this boffoon?", well, the boffoon proved me VERY wrong as he's shown to have made the role his own, the first person who could steal a role since Tom Baker (yes, MY Doctor!)
My next thought, on seeing the new TARDIS (not "Tardis") interior was to quote Patrick Troughton's 2nd Doctor "I see you've redecorated - I don't like it!" - it looked like someone's pre-puke guts after a night of too many after-shock red mixes. It has however proven to match the unpredictable instability of The Doctor for a more modern viewer.
Matt Smith, 11th Doctor - what will he bring to the table? With much luck he'll have done his research and hopes to avoid (in my opinion) the ineffectiveness of Peter Davidson (sorry PD!) but has a wealth of information behind him ro realise as he grows into the character, The Doctor is his to weird, interprete and transform. As long as he doesn't over do it and remember "The Doctor is a brilliant yet slightly arrogant sod" I think he'll do just fine. His youth means he has options of longetivity whilst avoiding being type-cast (something I fear even DT will struggle to shake off for sometime).
I must admit I know nothing of MS but I do wish him well (just wish he'd put down that damn gun!).
Orgasminator
Quote by brucie
this is a question not a judgement.
.
.
.
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and as were asking questions, is it just me or does the swinging "fraternity" have a larger than average share of "disturbed" people? There are more "xxx has been unwell and has had to be hospitalised" threads than i have seen on other websites. one theory that swinging attracts , in particular, women with low self esteem who want to feel desired and as such are more the type vulnerable to mental illness. ofcourse not all, but more than in other social networks. i have certainly seen that to be the case in clubs/spas.
discuss (but dont shoot the messenger).
With vanilla head on, I would assume its because as men we're supposed to "quit it with our man-flu, suck it up, show no pain and get on with it" ? Just a random insomnia-driven thought.
Orgasminator
Quote by duncanlondon
well as of now 277 people have voted.
(277/1,100,000) * 100 = %
Where did the 70% come from?
The figure didn't come from this poll in the forum. Nola has explained in the post above you where the figure came from.
It was Neil who mentioned 70%. In the thread above Nola.
Yes yes yes - what want to know... where are the voting buttons so I can stop feeling like a dumba**? ;)
Orgasminator
You know what, am done arguing.
Let those that think "Any verification is a bad thing and I will leave" leave if they want to. If they think verification on this is a bad thing, then by inference every site with verification is wrong.
Let those that think change, progression and evolution are a strange concept pass on my regards to the dinosaurs.
Let those that wanna gamble on the comparative and historical stats and trends between unverified communities and "numpties" vs "the other camp" switch places as an unverified single male for 6 months rest easy that anonymity will protect them.
For me, in the 3 years of random accusations (racism, , std-riddled, questionable character, desperate, even married,... and more!) they never got to know me, I know verification won't assure any of them of these but hey I'm still up for it.
What am I against? The pending quick meets system. I'm not comfortable with a system that, by publicly posting ads, enables the whole site to effectively not only see when am free for meets, but also the suggestion that by posting I'm looking to meet "anyone".
Right, rant over - Happy New Year!
Let those that think "Any verification is a bad thing and I will leave" leave if they want to. If they think verification on this is a bad thing, then by inference every site with verification is wrong.
Let those that think change, progression and evolution are a strange concept pass on my regards to the dinosaurs.
Let those that wanna gamble on the comparative and historical stats and trends between unverified communities and "numpties" vs "the other camp" switch places as an unverified single male for 6 months rest easy that anonymity will protect them.
For me, in the 3 years of random accusations (racism, , std-riddled, questionable character, desperate, even married,... and more!) they never got to know me, I know verification won't assure any of them of these but hey I'm still up for it.
What am I against? The pending quick meets system. I'm not comfortable with a system that, by publicly posting ads, enables the whole site to effectively not only see when am free for meets, but also the suggestion that by posting I'm looking to meet "anyone".
Right, rant over - Happy New Year!
Orgasminator
That may be so, but for some we appreciate the varied opportunity the internet brings to swinging and would find it a darn sight harder depending on monthly contact magazine issues in hope of "have they replied to our message last month".
Way to much like reverting to the stone ages. Long live the internet.
Way to much like reverting to the stone ages. Long live the internet.
Orgasminator
Quote by Witchy
Don't say that for god's sake - People will leave the site.. for other sites.. that have verification systems.... (flaw in their argument?)
Who mentioned leaving here for other sites
Leaving here was mentioned but I saw no mention of going to another site....
Ditto that. Without reading back, I think I'm the only person to have said they'd leave in the advent of verification...and I sure as hell didn't say I was going to another site.
Quote by Ahabs
If this is an issue why doesnt SH... oh... publish the correct stats? (Too radical an idea?)
The figures that are there now make the site seem a much more popular one than the correct figures do.....Even the correct figures would make it seem a popular site but the inflated ones make it seem all the better....
Well that leaves two possible options:
1) Leave SH for another site (which I have now been corrected as was never said).
2) Leave SH and not go on any sites at all... potentially quit swinging? over verification?? Hmmmmm - sounds more realisitc.
Orgasminator
Quote by splendid_
- it's probably fairer than the unofficial one that is used at the moment.
oh, now you are just being silly. Clearly people on here aren't so indiscreet to discuss the people they want to have sex with or have had sex with ??? No.... really? I don't believe you.
Exactly,... suggesting that there are so few guys that can manage to keep a condom on is just plain wrong!
Orgasminator
Quote by varca
I got verified once
But I am ok now..............
Who are you, I don't know you, you are not real.... I never shared a cig with you at a munch :grin:
See that's the problem - I don't smoke. SO means I can't get verified if everyone is out on the smoking deck and am the only sod inside.
Orgasminator
Quote by duncanlondon
I wish all the debate would come to an end. Probably by installing some kind of system.
Don't say that for god's sake - People will leave the site.. for other sites.. that have verification systems.... (flaw in their argument?)
Seriously though (as slight tangent) just looked at this morning's stats:
Site Stats
Members: 1,129,806
Msgs Sent: 101,403,899
Photo Ads: 588,426
User Pics: 426,992
Video Chat: 701
If this is an issue why doesnt SH... oh... publish the correct stats? (Too radical an idea?) I realise I must now be careful what I say as my character "as a decent person" has come under heavy and harch judgement" as is now questionable SOOOOO..
... or are the people who don't want verification scared they'll be seen as not legit?
Its simple people - everytime one couple chat to another couple in the chat room and couple A tell couple B "Have you got your cam so we can see bth of you", thats asking for verification (that they both exist). Imagine if couple B said "Sorry, we dont do verification,... and if you do thenyou're not for us!". Lol.
Orgasminator
Quote by Steve
snip All rather pointless as we dont yet know what it is. snip
We know what it is......A broken promise.....
To be honest, I think most of the people against are looking for a "PERFECT" verification system as opposed to a lack of a verification system however because there is no such system they feel "99% is as good as nothing". People, this is not the time of the spartans when "all imperfect babies were chucked off the cliff".
At least give it a chance, whatever "it" will be and see if "it" works or doesn't. If it doesn't work, fair enough, get rid of the implemented system and try again or stay as is - but saying "no to verification" is like saying "No to increasing chances of safety, rather taking our chances with time-wasters and undesirables". I know where my vote is.
Orgasminator
3 WORDS
Eyelash grazed satin
Holding me close
Feel my pleasure
Slip slowly away
Over the sheets
Claw your back
Pulling you deeper
Faster slipping under
Eyes glazing over
Building higher quicker
Undenying I grasp
Breath on cheeks
Tenderly stroking breasts
Pushing you up
Not holding back
Feeling you shudder
Weight upon me
Pinning me down
I * you
ZoeRose (C) 2009
Eyelash grazed satin
Holding me close
Feel my pleasure
Slip slowly away
Over the sheets
Claw your back
Pulling you deeper
Faster slipping under
Eyes glazing over
Building higher quicker
Undenying I grasp
Breath on cheeks
Tenderly stroking breasts
Pushing you up
Not holding back
Feeling you shudder
Weight upon me
Pinning me down
I * you
ZoeRose (C) 2009
Orgasminator
Quote by Witchy
A lot of very narrow mindedness going on in this thread.
"I wont be using a system I have not seen yet and know nothing about :stampfootemoticon:
So much for open minded swingers.
There are circumstances where I would cancel this account if it was not right, but I'll wait and see what it brings. I note also most of the no supporters are established users who have been going to munchs and events for years and have tons of already built up contacts. That was us once too but life changes and we certainly dont have time to waste with people who dont turn up dont look like their photo etc. Those problems can never be eradicated but if they can be improved so the risk is significantly reduced then so much the better.
This could turn the site into a huge commercial quick shag site? It already is, its only the forum thats not.
But there was a time when that wasn't what SH was all about. Times change, things evolve. I know that. However, rather than trying to fight the tide, I, and a few others I'm aware of are choosing to get out of the river.
As it happens, I am curious to see what the system will look like. I'm always curious. I'll be interested to see what ingenious safeguards are in place to stop false "repping." However, it's about more than that- and there is no way of making a rep system that doesn't make the playing field uneven. So, on principle, I will be voting with my cancel button- as is my choice. I've been here a very, very long time, and have seen the changes. I've read the "SH will never have a verifications system" promises. I've stuck with it through the times of feast & famine. The advent of SHrep is time to leave. No foot stomping, just sad resignation about the direction the site has taken.
There are a myriad of reasons for people being here. I bear no ill will for those who the new direction suits. It doesn't suit me, so I'm offski.
So for simplicity sake, you'd rather leave because "I can prove I'm who I am and legitimate", as opposed to having no clue who I am, timewaster, wannabe,... potential criminal thinking... and take that gamble?
There are things about the site I feel (IMHO) could have been done differently, but I'd rather suggest to the site admins alternative ideas rather than "I don't like it so am off!", if however they feel their way works better and sadly it casues me more problems (rather than it not being perfect) then yes, I would consider leaving.
Orgasminator
Quote by Kaznkev
..
... the "free site" where you "hold a card with your face, user name and date" has one that looks good. Is it perfect? I don't know - but its helped me pick out "accounts of suspicion" (shows interest in me, joined over a year ago, no pics, no verification, wants to meet up, wants me to send more pics...), yeah, cause I look that gullible.
we are members of the site i think you mean and discretion meant we did not want to have pics,kevs pic is no where on here or any other site,I think any system thay demands face pics is ignoring the fact thet some people because of work will not submit tem,
Interestingly we were verrified by another member of said site who had not even ,at that time ,met has now,so thats ok innit
I will wait and see what shep is as I am sure these problems have been considered I just wished to point out that verification is not as simple as Ahabs seems to think
So in absence of any verification system whilst awaiting SHREP what's the alternative? Have a 100% full proof verification system that at the same time guaratees full discretion - or none at all?
I think those asking for "100% or nothing" are not being realistic. Ages I ago I cited the example of condoms not being 100% but we all agree its better than nothing (and was slated "thats a health issue"), ok.. how about SH (as a site) being a very good site, but lets face it, no site is 100%. What then? We only use sites that are 100% as far as features, community, ease of use, value for money and "you find what you seek" otherwise we close our accounts and move on? I think we need to be a bit more realistic.
If I had the advantage of joining SH when it first started, got to go to all the socials and munches (if I could afford the travelling and hotels) and build up my contacts to the point where I could go for months without logging on yet still have a steady stream of regular meets, then yes, I can see why it would make no difference to me whether there was verification or not. Afterall, I've been here for years - why should I need to "prove" my legitimacy to anyone, especially the "new breed" of swingers who (for argument sake) are after a quick shag?
Orgasminator
Quote by Steve
I think if they do this it has to be mandatory for everyone or not at all. Otherwise dont think it will work in the slightest.
If they did make it mandatory then I would be cancelling my account...
Quiet at the back.....
So you're effectively saying you'll only go for swing sites that have NO verification?
Why do you think this is the only site I use ;-)
So the question is - the othersites you use I'm guessing have no verification there either, or they do and you don't use it,... or even better, you take full benefit of it but oppose its use here? Lol.
Orgasminator
Quote by Steve
I think if they do this it has to be mandatory for everyone or not at all. Otherwise dont think it will work in the slightest.
If they did make it mandatory then I would be cancelling my account...
Quiet at the back.....
So you're effectively saying you'll only go for swing sites that have NO verification?
Ok, here's an example - when you log into SH with your username, why do you add your "personal" password? Think about it. Answer? "To prove that its you - who you are".
That's identity verification. Still wanna cancel your account? Good luck finding a "good, popular and reputable" swing site without some form of verification. (I wish I could use abbreviation without the full site names - I enjoy WWE, for those in the know)..
... the "global adult site" has testimonials - if anyone tries abusing it, they end up looking silly.
... the poplular UK paid site has a feedback system and I've only seen ONE case of abuse which was dealt with quickly and fairly (bearing in mind it has over 700,000 subscribers, some with 1-5 "feedback", some with over 100, so a case of "one" is hardly justifiably abuse)
... the "free site" where you "hold a card with your face, user name and date" has one that looks good. Is it perfect? I don't know - but its helped me pick out "accounts of suspicion" (shows interest in me, joined over a year ago, no pics, no verification, wants to meet up, wants me to send more pics...), yeah, cause I look that gullible.
People still saying its open to abuse? It depends on the system design itself - I say cite an example (preferably in existence today) how it can be. The only way it can be abused is if someone gets creative depeneding on how its done - that's one person beatign a team of designers,... if its built right to factor in scenarios (persoanlly I like the "Can't verify unless already verified" idea).
Here's another angle. Your friend (person A) enquires about persons B and C as potential meets down the line, seeking your general opinion. You know persons B and C - B being trustworthy and a decent meet (no one said you've met or played with them) and you know C to be the scum of the earth. Do you choose not to give an opinion about B because you deem it breaking the "discretion" rule whilst applying the same judgement to C and risking your friend having a horrible time? Saying nothing in both cases will do this, saying somethign in both cases, whilst fair to your friend will be seen as some as "not being discreet". Both are forms of veririfcation, even if its merely verbal referral - pickign and choosing the situation however means as far as verification goes then you change your mind depending on the situation. Bring it on I say!
Orgasminator
Ok, I posted quite a while ago (maybe a year?) about how I felt SH could benefit with SOME form of verification system (wake up people, other sites, free or paid, have it and it works - describe ONE site where its been successfully abused? No? Didn't think so)
What does Verification even mean? Simply "Being able to prove it does what it says on the tin". Would you buy a house you haven't stepped in? Would you buy a car you've NEVER heard anything about much less test driven? Couples - did you "go on gut instinct" the first time you met your respective partners and decide to drag them off there and then to the nearest alter, or did you play out a "period of personality verification" to see if they were suitable? And before people shoot me down and say "Well marriages break down anyway" may I retort that "Fine, let’s all marry strangers we have no clue who they are from Adam then!"
Would you employ someone without and employment process or at least some "referral" from a friend or someone that's worked with the person? "Oh, it won't work, I'll go on gut instinct!". Yeah right.
We need to understand a few things: there are different forms of verification that offer different levels of "social" protection;
One Level (useful for couples and single females) merely prove that "Yes, it is NOT a single male pretending to be a couple"
A second level (seen on a certain free site) proves that the person's appearance in the picture is recent (from the example, no older than 24 hrs) - I know of a certain guy on THIS very site who on his profile has made himself younger by 10 years, used another bloke's cock pic and worst of all, someone else's face pic (the person in the pic has a moustache and much darker skin tone) - but its ok, as he's a nice guy and verification will prove nothing,... right?
A third subtle level of verification can be seen by some as their ability to interact in a social setting,... say at a munch. I long faced the challenge of not being able to get meets because no one knew me, and as such had to wait for a social, but as the social was only attended by people who were known, i.e. "facially verified" or "vouched for" I found myself in the catch-22 (cant go as not known, but wont be known till I go)
Then there's the sexual verification... your classic ""turned up, great meet, good time had by all" - this is what I feel most people would prefer to keep private or at least the option of private. I have no issue with this, if I wanted everyone to have a journal or who I played with and when and in what position, I'd have that recorded and published.
But lets not be fooled people - SH needs something, I refuse to accept the "use your instinct" argument on the simple basis if I'm looking at 10 profiles, I'd be more inclined to know and focus on the 4 legit ones (and as soon as possible) than discover I've invested 6 months patiently trying to build rapport with 6 complete and utter no-go-zones. No one is saying verification is perfect or it will "solve all the problems", but not having it is like suggesting "Don't lock your doors, if you lock it someone (the ASBO-seeking chavs) will just break it then you have to pay for the repair". Fine - get robbed instead - much smarter and cheaper option.
The trick IS in the design and implementation - that is for SH to think about, but for me, I'd rather be able to spot someone a mile away going "Ooh, would really love to meet up" when they don’t have a face pic, no one knows anything bout them, no background whatever. Let’s face it NO ONE can really claim they've never had someone try it on with them and they sussed "leave that one well alone" without some physical "record" other than "instinct". Some years back one lady from Nottingham who prides herself on her meets and her ability to read people said the main reason she'd not want to know me is because she felt I had a secret wife at home - of first social meeting! So much for "being able to read people", all she had to do (if she followed simple evidence) would be to see that I'm not married!
To those that suggest "We won't be interested in anyone that uses verification", good luck to ya, your logic eliminates all the verified legit swingers and leaves you with the fakes that have no where to hide.
To those that say "We'll leave SH if verification comes in", ... see ya!
What does Verification even mean? Simply "Being able to prove it does what it says on the tin". Would you buy a house you haven't stepped in? Would you buy a car you've NEVER heard anything about much less test driven? Couples - did you "go on gut instinct" the first time you met your respective partners and decide to drag them off there and then to the nearest alter, or did you play out a "period of personality verification" to see if they were suitable? And before people shoot me down and say "Well marriages break down anyway" may I retort that "Fine, let’s all marry strangers we have no clue who they are from Adam then!"
Would you employ someone without and employment process or at least some "referral" from a friend or someone that's worked with the person? "Oh, it won't work, I'll go on gut instinct!". Yeah right.
We need to understand a few things: there are different forms of verification that offer different levels of "social" protection;
One Level (useful for couples and single females) merely prove that "Yes, it is NOT a single male pretending to be a couple"
A second level (seen on a certain free site) proves that the person's appearance in the picture is recent (from the example, no older than 24 hrs) - I know of a certain guy on THIS very site who on his profile has made himself younger by 10 years, used another bloke's cock pic and worst of all, someone else's face pic (the person in the pic has a moustache and much darker skin tone) - but its ok, as he's a nice guy and verification will prove nothing,... right?
A third subtle level of verification can be seen by some as their ability to interact in a social setting,... say at a munch. I long faced the challenge of not being able to get meets because no one knew me, and as such had to wait for a social, but as the social was only attended by people who were known, i.e. "facially verified" or "vouched for" I found myself in the catch-22 (cant go as not known, but wont be known till I go)
Then there's the sexual verification... your classic ""turned up, great meet, good time had by all" - this is what I feel most people would prefer to keep private or at least the option of private. I have no issue with this, if I wanted everyone to have a journal or who I played with and when and in what position, I'd have that recorded and published.
But lets not be fooled people - SH needs something, I refuse to accept the "use your instinct" argument on the simple basis if I'm looking at 10 profiles, I'd be more inclined to know and focus on the 4 legit ones (and as soon as possible) than discover I've invested 6 months patiently trying to build rapport with 6 complete and utter no-go-zones. No one is saying verification is perfect or it will "solve all the problems", but not having it is like suggesting "Don't lock your doors, if you lock it someone (the ASBO-seeking chavs) will just break it then you have to pay for the repair". Fine - get robbed instead - much smarter and cheaper option.
The trick IS in the design and implementation - that is for SH to think about, but for me, I'd rather be able to spot someone a mile away going "Ooh, would really love to meet up" when they don’t have a face pic, no one knows anything bout them, no background whatever. Let’s face it NO ONE can really claim they've never had someone try it on with them and they sussed "leave that one well alone" without some physical "record" other than "instinct". Some years back one lady from Nottingham who prides herself on her meets and her ability to read people said the main reason she'd not want to know me is because she felt I had a secret wife at home - of first social meeting! So much for "being able to read people", all she had to do (if she followed simple evidence) would be to see that I'm not married!
To those that suggest "We won't be interested in anyone that uses verification", good luck to ya, your logic eliminates all the verified legit swingers and leaves you with the fakes that have no where to hide.
To those that say "We'll leave SH if verification comes in", ... see ya!
