Quote by Cubes
I'm going to regret ...buying maltesers and wearing a v-neck top tonight aren't I?
Next time buy Cadbury Creme Eggs! ;-)
I don't like them!
How big do you think my cleavage is btw?
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Calista
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 52
Straight Male, 53
UK
Forum
Quote by Morbius
buying maltesers and wearing a v-neck top tonight aren't I?
currently giving the look to Morbius
although I seem to be getting a fair share of them for once
Surely if you are eating most of them, you should be fair on Morbs and eat them naked
But if she was naked they would fall straight through her boobs :S
You've clearly not thought this through ... are you ill?
Quote by Dawnie
buying maltesers and wearing a v-neck top tonight aren't I?
currently giving the look to Morbius
although I seem to be getting a fair share of them for once
Surely if you are eating most of them, you should be fair on Morbs and eat them naked
:huh::huh: Dawnie! Where's my fun in that! He'd stop throwing them at my boobs!
Quote by Dawnie
Some members have a "swing" phone. A cheap mobile with a sim card. This is only used for swing scenarios so when you ain't swinging, you switch it off. They can never disturb you then.
Some members are stupid enough to lose their sodding swing phone last Wednesday and are slightly pissed off with themselves :doh:
:rascal: Can you imagine finding that phone? :rascal:
Good job the NOTW has closed down Dawnie
I know it will be flat by now and it does have a password on it but I am slightly nervous by what might be on it :eeek:
I'll die if it turns up in the wrong hands
I wouldn't have a clue where ours went! If we ever had one
ops: Quote by Dawnie
Some members have a "swing" phone. A cheap mobile with a sim card. This is only used for swing scenarios so when you ain't swinging, you switch it off. They can never disturb you then.
Some members are stupid enough to lose their sodding swing phone last Wednesday and are slightly pissed off with themselves :doh:
:rascal: Can you imagine finding that phone? :rascal:
Good job the NOTW has closed down Dawnie
Quote by Cubes
a grope when our hands are in the sink
OT - but why do men do that?! Never had a boyfriend that could resist it.
I have a couple of theories:
1) Women get very turned on doing the washing up, so it's the best time to do it. :twisted:
2) Facing away with wet hands means less chance of a slap in the face or kick in the nuts. :thumbup: The only drawback is that she could have a knife in her hands at the time! :shock:
It also reminds me why women have smaller feet, but I think I'm probably in enough trouble aleady! :giggle:
In response to 1) then you deserve this
In response to 2) then I think you just confirmed my theory on the post prior to this one :chuckle:
Re the feet ... see my post to 1) above along with
Cx
Quote by pebble
a grope when our hands are in the sink
OT - but why do men do that?! Never had a boyfriend that could resist it.
:giggle: I have a theory that there is a secret class they get at school, you know the one the girlies get? The boys get one later on about "groping when your partner is at her least opportunity to defend herself!"
Cx
Quote by starlightcouple
So we can see that whereas the rent on property A is a genuine reflection of the cost of maintaining that property the rent on property B is artificially inflated by the needs of the landlord
:laughabove::laughabove:
i think you will find in many cases mr stagggers that the landlord does not set the rent, the market place does.
i have an estate agent near me and a landlord could try and go in there and say he wants 1600 pounds a month rent for his property but the good estate agent will kindly point out that the market says his property is only valued at 1000 per month. he can of course decide to continue to try and get the 1600 pounds, but nobody is going to pay over the odds.
a bit like the cost of a property. a valuer values the said property and then puts a value on it based on the market value. the owner of that house does not set the value the market does. are you with me on this one mr stagggers as i know you can drift off from time to time :notes:
of course on occasion you get the idiot who will pay over that market value as they reely want that property but on the whole unless you go to a private landlord privately which would be madness, a letting agency will only charge what it deems the market value no matter how much the landlord may want extra to fund what exactly again mr staggers?
The value of a property is purely what someone else will pay for it. I'm in council housing. I pay £350 a month, no benefit payments. I could potentially buy my house for £56k. The privately bought house next door, similar to mine is currently under offer for £100,000.
The difference between the two house prices? Profit. The owner wants the profit. Lots of owners buy cheap and sell high, it's the same with renting. I know of few landlords who charge what I pay because their mortgage needs covering and they want PROFIT. Many housing associations are charities who cannot make massive profits, the councils are similar. They charge the marketable rent of the property. Private landlords are driven by profit.
The private rental market and the social housing market are very different sadly.
I quite probably fall into the category you mentioned above, where we could move into private rented accommodation. We chose not to though. My rent would double for a smaller house, we're not fantastically well off and having a house that is well within our affordable means (aka living on one salary) has also meant that I can start my own business working from home, meaning I'm here for my kids and have set them the example that effort = reward. I also have well educated, polite, decent human beings for kids.
I don't stay in social housing to rip anyone off, we chose this as it means that we live on one income,taking it in turns to achieve our own dreams (he graduated last year, I'm about to embark on my degree). About 3 years ago we came very close to giving this home up and moving to private rent, if we had then right now we'd be back on the list waiting as the prices rocketed and we'd not be able to pay the rent and live.
The whole point of social housing is that it is affordable. The size of the waiting lists for affordable houses kind of back up that privately rented accommodation is not affordable, driven by landlords looking for profit.
Quote by neilinleeds
...did I become hardened to swinging or bemused with it all??????
The latter applies to me.
Likewise.
N x x x ;)
Similarly here.
I was guilty of using the word hardened initially. For us "hardened" meant people for whom swinging was more a way of life, so those who were extremely regular at attending clubs etc and weren't interested in the friendship aspect, which we were looking for.
It didn't take long to realise that actually there were very few people like that, most people were just like us
We did the orgies, parties, socials and munches, we were regulars on the forums etc. I could quite easily see how people might assume that we were hardened as well. The reality was very different!
The telly has a lot to answer for!
Callie x
Quote by Dawnie
Last time I flashed more flesh............
.........fecking Greenpeace threw buckets of water over me and tried to roll me back into the sea
People pay a lot of money to go whale watching Dave!! :lol2:
I know you already get too much attention from the ladies but get oiled up and get your speedos on for the girls
Yeah come on Dave, lets see ya :giggle:
I'm with Dawnie ... c'mon Dave!
Why do married men give up on their wives, once children come along (perhaps before even)? What happens to the romance, the foreplay (that comprises of more than a grope when our hands are in the sink!) more than a nipple tweak and a hand straight between the legs.
Perhaps if the men tempted to stray, with an apparent boring sex life, took as much time to make their wives feel sexy and wanted, flirted with her, spoiled her, romanced her etc, if they took more time to do that and less time looking elsewhere, the wives would remember how fab sex once was, before it became another chore!
Men, just remember if YOU find sex boring or missing there is a good chance that your wife feels the same!
(yes I am generalising, I know there are many men out there who are fab at this :thumbup
Perhaps if the men tempted to stray, with an apparent boring sex life, took as much time to make their wives feel sexy and wanted, flirted with her, spoiled her, romanced her etc, if they took more time to do that and less time looking elsewhere, the wives would remember how fab sex once was, before it became another chore!
Men, just remember if YOU find sex boring or missing there is a good chance that your wife feels the same!
(yes I am generalising, I know there are many men out there who are fab at this :thumbup
Quote by Tan--Kinky
In the results was 'Is it normal to be sexually atrracted to numbers?"
Ffs, what is wrong with these people?
I find 69 quite stimulating :rascal:
:lol: of course that was one of the replies within the thread!
The person asking the question wanks to algebra and finds the number 3 to be the ultimate turn on. :lol:
It takes all sorts eh!
Not an interesting prospective shag ...
"1 ... 2 ... 3 ... darn I've cum"
Followed by "Sorry I will be able to go again in 5...." before he promptly falls asleep
So you've met Morbius then?????
Quote by neilinleeds
Bold all the way
Where's the Kevin Bloody Wilson copyright tag Tweeks? Ironic you should mention him though, cos kind of on topic in a way that makes sense in my head given that he doesn't specify the general hairyness you can't say Cunt in Canada neither?
Actually, now I think on it, not sure that does make sense, but still . . . .
In full agreement though that if I have to take a 5-bladed razor to the shaft and wrinkly plums on the outside of me body, I see no reason why the girlies shouldn't be expected to take the female equivalent to a half-hidden clitoris wot plays 'here I am, oops, no, now I've run away again.' Saves all that David Bellamy type foraging through the undergrowth anyways?
N x x x ;)
Such a fabulous way with words
Quote by Funlovers2009
In the results was 'Is it normal to be sexually atrracted to numbers?"
Ffs, what is wrong with these people?
I find 69 quite stimulating :rascal:
:lol: of course that was one of the replies within the thread!
The person asking the question wanks to algebra and finds the number 3 to be the ultimate turn on. :lol:
It takes all sorts eh!
Not an interesting prospective shag ...
"1 ... 2 ... 3 ... darn I've cum"
Quote by Morbius
Errrrm
Silly question...... What is a female orgasm???
I was gonna say I'd never faked it, now I'm going to just to spite you - gonna fake it and roll over!
Quote by Tan--Kinky
The thing cally reeeeaaaalllly wants for Christmas icon_
I best not have to wait that bloody long!
Quote by Morbius
Oh that thing that cums in a box
I have never cum in a box ... and don't get any blummin' ideas
Quote by anais
been searching the threads and we can't find the one we want
it's about a guys first attempt at shaving his genitals - could it have been dave_notts??
shit - we just can't find it but it was the funniest thing we have ever read on any forum anywhere
Could it be this one?
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/11559.html
:huh::huh:
Ooooooooo weird! Ive just been reading that one :lol2:
Im all good thanks Calista - lovely to see you posting again, we've missed ya xxxx
Is this the highjacking thread you were thinking of?
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/71447.html
It wasn't but I remembe that one as well - so funny.
The one I remember was "take this thread to Peru" or somewhere equally obscure!
Quote by Laff_n_Chilli
been searching the threads and we can't find the one we want
it's about a guys first attempt at shaving his genitals - could it have been dave_notts??
shit - we just can't find it but it was the funniest thing we have ever read on any forum anywhere
Could it be this one?
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/11559.html
:huh::huh:
Quote by Roygbiv
Maybe it's a midlife crisis type of thing but these days I find myself with a real urge to tell my wife that I'm bisexual.
I was bi before I met her but despite her being a total sex fiend in the early part of our relationship, she's not really into anything kinky. I fear that my bi confession would be too much for her.
Has anyone here been through a similar situation?
Again, quoting because I want to not because I have experience.
My first thought was why? You say mid-life crisis but why is it important for your wife to know? Why is it important for you to tell her.
You stated that your sex life is stale and unimaginative, and again I ask why? What's changed? have you discussed this with your wife? Are you actually wanting to stay in the relationship regardless if this aspect can be fixed or not? How does she feel about sex?
Before you go dropping a bombshelf into her lap, how about putting her feelings first, if you can work on fixing the sexual aspect of your relationship, then perhaps over time it is something you can approach without it becoming a big issue.
Hanging round a swinging site will only fuel YOUR fantasies and desires, it won't fix what is broken between you. I'm afraid you need to answer some deep questions and make your decision based on that.
Calista
Quote by Missy
Missy going dogging thread was brilliant - just a great story well crafted - she should do more of those threads as never see her around much
Well that's my day..... nope year made!! :happy: Hello Corrie my friend
Miss not being around much, miss the people on here, miss the munches, miss everything about this place
But on another note - best threads, well apart from the Davej avatar challenge, which was an absolute blast, Heathers cat thread is an absolute classic http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/8131.html
If asked to name the most memorable single post - this one liner from Jags had me crying (2nd post down, but you need to read the first post too) http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/6608.html :rotflmao:
I love this site!! :inlove:
:inlove: Missy :kiss:
I think the Hijack thread (which I no hope in hell of findng) was one of the funniest. Davej, Easy, Warwick and NeilinLeeds still bring a smile to my face when I think of that one.
Wooooooooohoooooooo :wave: nice to see ya Calista, how are ya :-)Quote by moab
sorry to hear that Tweeky x
I have to say the last four months I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It's felt like some kind of torture at times :sad:
1). Mum to still be here as she passed away 6 days ago
2). For them to find a cure for all cancer (and yes that is connected to the above)
3). I will have to think about that one....
Mine too
:therethere:
We can relate as well. I still expect my step-daughter to walk through the door on a Friday and it's almost 18 months now.
:therethere:
Calista
