A and A xx
Before commenting on the issue overall, first of all we will respond to this comment:
This is a vile and disgusting idea. It seems to me that AshaandAlex want the option to open their own little club where they can invite their own friends and exclude everyone else.
If this is how it seemed, then I am afraid you have us seriously misjudged. This was not the intention behind the suggestion and a suggestion is all it was, the post being prompted by the events below. While I appreciate that we have upset you, for which I apologise as that was never the intention, do not ever presume to speak for us or our own intentions. There is no need for such language or superstition on our part.
This posting came about because one night when Asha was in the main chat room, she just received barrage after barrage of uninvited whispers from single guys. Most of the time to be honest, it doesn't bother us to a great degree, we either ignore them or post them in the room, or in most cases actually, when they're polite or a just offering a compliment we will respond, as I am sure many people will attest to. However on this particular occasion there was just too many and some of them got quite offensive when she wouldn't respond so for the first time she opened her own room (this is the one and only occasion that she has done this, though I have done it a couple of times since) which she labelled couples only, no single men. There were no moderators in the main room we were in at the time, otherwise there were a couple of people we might have reported, but I should add none of those people have posted on this topic.
When she opened the room for couples, she did kick quite a few single guys out a few of them were the same people and they followed her in there, some of them were obviously just looking in the room. It was pointed out to her that she was not allowed to kick someone without any of the reasons being mentioned on the site, so she stopped doing so and apologised. However what followed in the room at that time was then a discussion on this very issue that we have talked about here, and there were many couples who were asking the same thing at that time. So I was curious to see what people thought about it, it was certainly not an official request to ask for a room on our behalf, I was more curious to see why there was not one and even if there was one, we would only use it when we want to talk to couples only, which would not be all the time. On balance I think if the majority of the membership finds the idea of such a room distasteful or offensive then perhaps there shouldn’t be one, that will be for the site owners to decide.
I think that statements about ‘now we will have to have a blacks only room as well’, etc etc are unrealistic and distract from the issue of swinging. By its very nature the scene has always been divided in two main groups (yes there are different preferences that people have within that, for sure) and those are couples and singles, and as we know 95 percent of couples will play with single girls, but not single guys, so it really breaks into couples and single guys. Almost all the clubs in the UK have couples only nights and they have them for that reason, because there is a huge part of the scene that plays on a couples only basis. There are various reasons for people wanting to do that, another topic completely on its own which I won’t get bogged down with here. Although we do not advertise for single men and state we aren’t looking for them on our profile, we do play with them from time to time and we are also in general happy to chat to them, or anyone else really but not everyone feels that way. Our profile states couples only because when I used this site with my ex and had single men written on our profile, we just got too much mail from people, even when we stated preferences to minimise our responses people just didn’t read them. Not the end of the world, but its easy to understand why some people state their preferences a little more harshly than we do. We have actually played with three single guys from the site recently and they were all very nice people and hopefully if asked they will say the same about us. We have recommended them on our profile, if anyone doubts this. Secondly, in the main chat rooms, which I have to say I have enjoyed while Asha has been away, ( and I am very greatful to the people who sent us all their best wishes in our present time of grief thanks a million by the way) some people just continue to break the rules with smutty whispered requests. As I said before, I am not bothered by these personally, hey we’re all horny people, some more than others or more often than others it would seem but everyone is on the scene for different reasons, to simply say ‘for sex’ would be over simplifying it and painting far too broad a brushstroke on the issue. Everyone wants different things from this experience. Some guys will promise a girl the world, and then once they’ve got a phone wank out of it hang up and never call them again. So hey its good that people can open their own room saying 12 inch cock on cam or whatever. I might not be rushing into that room personally, but I am sure others would be.
As for democracy, well I am all for that, otherwise we wouldn’t be able to have this discussion on the subject.
Anyway if you managed to read through all that my view on the subject is not that strong either way. I think if there was a room, couples would use it when they only wanted to chat to other couples, I don’t think the rest of chat would especially suffer, people do jump around ‘For a wander’ a lot anyway, If there wasn’t a room like it, not the end of the world either. Asha is in Uganda right now, but her view on this is similar to mine, except she would like a couples room where single guys can’t whisper unless couples or single girls have a button that invites them do so. At the end of the day, seeing as people are suppose to ask anyway, I can see her point on that one.
Anyways, it was never our intention to offend anyone, just to hear people’s thoughts after we had some sight into the issue following the chat in the room that time.
Thanks for reading (if you got to the end you win a cookie)
Alex
