Where? The food - In the fridge/cupboard/box beside the telly. Me - at the kitchen table.
When? Feels like before the Civil War now!
What? Tea. Grapefruit. Last night's pizza left overs, grilled. Greek yogurt and banana. Mucho coffee. In that order.
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DarkEyedPhil
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 62
Forum
Quote by EagerSlut
I don't like doing oral with hairy as inevitably you get stray hairs stuck between your teeth which is a real turn off. :shock: :shock:
Ah, each to their own, eh? I like a woman who has enough hair for it to get between my teeth giving oral. I mean, it saves flossing, dunnit? :-D
Anything between the lightest touch of the lips or tongue and a gentle pinch or graze with the teeth is good. Not enough women think to try it for some reason.
As regards using women's nipples like radio tuning knobs - well, they do it in porn so it must always be a huge turn on, right? Like slapping her gentials, pulling hair while receiving oral, really vigorous anal.....(Hmm, knew there was a reason I rarely watch porn)
Actually I do know one woman who constantly surprises by how hard she insists I pinch her nipples once she is aroused. I have to keep checking 'Too much? Oh, not enough.
..'
As regards using women's nipples like radio tuning knobs - well, they do it in porn so it must always be a huge turn on, right? Like slapping her gentials, pulling hair while receiving oral, really vigorous anal.....(Hmm, knew there was a reason I rarely watch porn)
Actually I do know one woman who constantly surprises by how hard she insists I pinch her nipples once she is aroused. I have to keep checking 'Too much? Oh, not enough.
..' I find the prospect of munching by turns exhilarating and terrifying, but then it's early days for me on here. For various reasons including the possibility however remote of meeting someone I know, specially a workmate. Intellectually I realise that's irrational, but I've not managed to convince myself of that yet - I think I'd let out a involuntary girly shriek and run for cover 
!
I wonder if 'munch anxiety' is one of those things that you instantly forget what it was like, and how awful it was, once it's over, like the last half of a marathon? Perhaps we need a special Munch for the Apprehensive First Timers?
! I wonder if 'munch anxiety' is one of those things that you instantly forget what it was like, and how awful it was, once it's over, like the last half of a marathon? Perhaps we need a special Munch for the Apprehensive First Timers?
Quote by Maia:thumbup: :thumbup: for originality, specially 2 and 3. 1 is a bit scary frankly
1. To be able to transmit my thoughts into someone else's mind so I can use it to turn someone absolutely neurotic and paranoid.
2. To be able to talk to newborn babies and ask them what it was like where they have been.
3. The ability to teleport myself so I don't have to worry about waking up early to drive to an appointment.
Today's menu chez Phil
Starters:
Snog of the day
or
Duet of melons with a warm oil dressing and a pair of supple hands
Main courses:
Undressed rump of lass spanked lightly with a large salami
or
Stocking-wrapped leg stroked slowly on a bed of silk
Desserts:
Sweet cookie in a spun sugar nest licked slowly with a crescendo of cream
or
Hot stuffed peach
And In the lounge afterwards:
Coffee and (a) minx
Starters:
Snog of the day
or
Duet of melons with a warm oil dressing and a pair of supple hands
Main courses:
Undressed rump of lass spanked lightly with a large salami
or
Stocking-wrapped leg stroked slowly on a bed of silk
Desserts:
Sweet cookie in a spun sugar nest licked slowly with a crescendo of cream
or
Hot stuffed peach
And In the lounge afterwards:
Coffee and (a) minx
Quote by PoloLady
In addition....
I am sure some of you people out there think these are kids from a 'certain' type of background.... don't kid yourself! Unless you were thinking of the upper-class rural village kids. They seem to be at it more than most as they get a bigger allowance to buy more booze!
Absolutely. A friend of mine works as a nurse in a fee-paying private school for boys, and is aghast at the number of boys (none older than 16) she has to refer to the local GUM clinic - apparently noticeably increased in the last 5 or 6 years.
I find it ironic that the gutter press do the shock horror treatment on such things but seem not to realise that they are giving them which they does not need. I guess it just ensures that in six months time they'll be able to run more another story about how it's now even more prevalent
. Ah yes, the Space-Time Continuum Blip Effect (STCBE)and Bollox Syndrome are both widely recognised phenomena. I can also confirm the existence of the Bank Account Corollary to the STCBE: I put money in my account and when I go back just a few days later - it's nearly all gone! :shock: Spooky, or what?
We are all going to use our previous experiences as a starting point, aren't we? It's when we don't take any notice of the responses that the problem arises.
I can't say I blame anyone for faking if their hints/requests are being ignored if that's the best way to let the other person down gently. But the general idea that someone might have faked with me is a bit disappointing. I would much rather be (gently) told that I'm just not getting it right and they would rather move on. I would appreciate the honesty.
Tricky for a guy to fake effectively of course, though I did fib to one partner that I just wasn't going to be able to orgasm after all attempts to stop her pumping me like she was maching spuds had failed! (I'm sure it had worked for her before!)
I can't say I blame anyone for faking if their hints/requests are being ignored if that's the best way to let the other person down gently. But the general idea that someone might have faked with me is a bit disappointing. I would much rather be (gently) told that I'm just not getting it right and they would rather move on. I would appreciate the honesty.
Tricky for a guy to fake effectively of course, though I did fib to one partner that I just wasn't going to be able to orgasm after all attempts to stop her pumping me like she was maching spuds had failed! (I'm sure it had worked for her before!)
I think the key thing to remember is to avoid the low-fat spreads - you know the ones you can't fry things with cos they're just water and E numbers? Just can't imagine they'd be sufficiently slippery. Lard would do the trick. ;)
Benecol? Hmm, well if it significantly lowers your cholesterol (with silly hand gestures for emphasis as if you're a 3 yr old!) may be it would shrink your tackle too?
Benecol? Hmm, well if it significantly lowers your cholesterol (with silly hand gestures for emphasis as if you're a 3 yr old!) may be it would shrink your tackle too?
Quote by Manolishi
Suffice to say it's big, has three rooms, an attic and 1MB link to the outside world
That's not a shed, it's a luxury home
! Did you need planning permission? If I had that at the bottom of the garden I'd move in for good. Sounds an ideal venue for a small but perfectly formed swinging party. 33. Believing you understand the off-side rule, regardless of whether you actually do or don't. And being willing to explain it to any woman daft enough to listen.
34. Wincing in brotherly sympathy every time a batsman gets a direct hit on the box!
35. Never having to read a manual for a new gadget, 'cos you can work it out by pushing buttons at random.
36. Not worrying whether your bum looks big in anything.
37. Worrying whether your tackle looks big in Speedos. After being in the sea. At Bridlington. In February.
34. Wincing in brotherly sympathy every time a batsman gets a direct hit on the box!
35. Never having to read a manual for a new gadget, 'cos you can work it out by pushing buttons at random.
36. Not worrying whether your bum looks big in anything.
37. Worrying whether your tackle looks big in Speedos. After being in the sea. At Bridlington. In February.
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Have we found the woman who modelled for that road sign with two humps warning of a bumpy round??
Oi, ya cheeky git
Hey, that is my very favourite road sign, no contest! ;) (I must learn to do these compliment whatsits better....) I modelled for the one with the car falling over the cliff
. Quote by equi-princess
................except to wish for more wishes..... lol
equi-princess xxx
Oh poo! You meanie That's sooo unfair!
OK, in that case
1. Accrington Stanley to be bought by a fantastically wealthy black pudding manufacturer and become undisputed champions of Europe
2. Immunity from hangovers.
3. To play the guitar like Joe Pass did.
At the risk of sounding a total creep (like I care!), my feeling is that women of all sizes have their own particular attractions. In much the same way as tall women appeal as much as diminuitive ones, but in a different way.
And so, if any of the petite SBWs feel left out and would like to come round to mine for a party of their own.....
And so, if any of the petite SBWs feel left out and would like to come round to mine for a party of their own.....
Quote by naughtynymphos1
Hey, both Darkfire, Vix I am willing to be a student for you both. Just call. remember when I was posted to Canada, I had one out there and what a feeling:)
had one what? belly wank in canada?
what a strange bunch of people It's the long lonely nights with nothing but forest for miles around you, drives you mental. Though there is one consolation - Canada is not shortl of beavers....
Quote by sharon_2005
I know i said storms frighten me earlier but...........
A chastity belt that you have lost the key to realy puts the shivers up my spine
ohhhhh wouldn't it be horrid if you had one on and no way of getting it of :shock:
No sex, no playing, life would come to an end :crazy:
Hmmm, yes, bit of a 'mare eh? But necessity is the mother of invention, so they say. You'd think of something, like going to B & Q and checking out the power tools! And there'd be no shortage of volunteers to help you out (where's the smiley with his hand up going 'Me! Me! Me!' when you want it?)
Dunno what they did in the Middle Ages when these things were fashionable, but I'm guessing quite a few knights came back from the crusades to find their dear wife not as chaste as they left here :shock:.
Well apart from running out of tea after the corner shop has closed (:eeek, the thing really scares me - and I mean scares me sodding witless - is George 'Plan? What plan? Bush. I keep thinking I'll wake up and it will all have been a horrible dream....Maybe I should try dropping a phone book on him?
, the thing really scares me - and I mean scares me sodding witless - is George 'Plan? What plan? Bush. I keep thinking I'll wake up and it will all have been a horrible dream....Maybe I should try dropping a phone book on him? Quote by angelnn66
....if I knew how to stick a picture on this message, I would! I've tried cutting and pasting though and it doesn't work.
I suspect you've got to put the piccy on an image hosting site and put the link here. Sorry, dash to pub before last orders prevents detailed instructions! Probably in an FAQ somewhere (the instructions, not the pub)..
Quote by angelnn66
I look just like my avatar - very sweet, innocent and angelic :angel:
Have you got the cute little wings??
