Quote by Sarah
Hello, hello is any one here????????
Nope, just some tumbleweed blowing past and a squeaky sign swinging (aha - on topic!!) in the breeze.
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DarkEyedPhil
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 62
Forum
"Better out than in" as they say. I mean, you wouldn't want a woman to gradually inflate from the inside, as if she's being pumped up by her fella....and, when the pressure reaches a certain point, popping of his erection and going swirling round the room making an extended 'prprprp' sort of noise.
I guess you could do whatever blind people do, and I confess I'm too ignorant to know 
You could buy a set of speaking kitchen scales and keep them in the loo. Weigh a clean piece of bog roll and remember the weight. Wipe then weigh, and keep wiping and weighing till you get down to the clean weight. Sorted
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Or fit a waterproof light in the U-bend.
You could buy a set of speaking kitchen scales and keep them in the loo. Weigh a clean piece of bog roll and remember the weight. Wipe then weigh, and keep wiping and weighing till you get down to the clean weight. Sorted
.Or fit a waterproof light in the U-bend.
Quote by alspals
By the by, its possbile to grab any or MSN display pics using the print screen button. Web cams can be easily recorded using video screen capture software, some avaiable free, some for 30 day trial.
..blimey O'Riley..I never knew that..gonna hv to stop webcamming wearing me mum's wig and nightie
ops:I'll swap you - your mum's for my wig and nightie - then we can both webcam incognito
Teenage boys - wait, louts - who cycle on the pavements. I deliberately walked into one recently simply by refusing to jump out of his way, and cherished the bruise on my shoulder as it brought back fond memories of the little oik sat on his backside trying to avoid bursting into tears :twisted:
Telemarketers who ask 'Am I talking to the home owner?' right out, without even giving me their name. 'Am I talking to a cretin?' is my stock reply.
Telemarketers who ask 'Am I talking to the home owner?' right out, without even giving me their name. 'Am I talking to a cretin?' is my stock reply.
Extremely tricky situation and I feel for you.
I'm sorry if this seems unhalpful, but as a guy I can't help putting myself in the situation of both the men involved here and feeling much more sympathy for your current guy than for the 'other man'.
Your current guy has allowed/accepted your sleeping with other men. It will be a bitter pill for him if you use that freedom he has given you to fall for someone else. Is that what he signed up for?
Apparently your 'other man' can't - or won't - cope with you staying in the lifestyle, and you doubt your ability to conform to his ideal. Your 'other man' wants you to stop doing the very thing that enabled you to meet him. You are currently struggling to stay within generous boundaries, yet are considering submitting to much stricter ones?
If I was that other man, I honestly hope I would break it off with you for the sake of your current guy because I know how I'd feel in his shoes.
Again, apologies if that doesn't feel very helpful - just my thoughts which you are of course free to ignore.
I'm sorry if this seems unhalpful, but as a guy I can't help putting myself in the situation of both the men involved here and feeling much more sympathy for your current guy than for the 'other man'.
Your current guy has allowed/accepted your sleeping with other men. It will be a bitter pill for him if you use that freedom he has given you to fall for someone else. Is that what he signed up for?
Apparently your 'other man' can't - or won't - cope with you staying in the lifestyle, and you doubt your ability to conform to his ideal. Your 'other man' wants you to stop doing the very thing that enabled you to meet him. You are currently struggling to stay within generous boundaries, yet are considering submitting to much stricter ones?
If I was that other man, I honestly hope I would break it off with you for the sake of your current guy because I know how I'd feel in his shoes.
Again, apologies if that doesn't feel very helpful - just my thoughts which you are of course free to ignore.
If the cricket all goes pear-shaped next weekend, it will feel like the end of the world 
I read somewhere that everybody thought it was the end of the world when the Vikings were causing much mayhem - must have seemed like it if your little village got ransacked. Mother Shipton thought the end of the world would be in 1990. Depending on which interpretation of Nostradamus you read he's been wrong several times already.
Look on the bright side - you could be run over by a bus tomorrow and it'll all be academic :shock:
I read somewhere that everybody thought it was the end of the world when the Vikings were causing much mayhem - must have seemed like it if your little village got ransacked. Mother Shipton thought the end of the world would be in 1990. Depending on which interpretation of Nostradamus you read he's been wrong several times already.
Look on the bright side - you could be run over by a bus tomorrow and it'll all be academic :shock:
hwoar: ), intellect, Tesco Clubcard points balance Quote by Deviated Prevert
...(unless you program in VB or something equally dodgy)..
...very perceptive! I've always thought it best to choose your technologies based on pulling power, but it's hard to pitch that to the folks in HR in charge of the training budget. "Look, I know we're very short of <last big thing> skills, but it really doesn't cut any ice with women!"
I'm guessing Java Swing is very popular in these parts.
Oh yes, love 'older' women! (Older than what, incidentally - Stonehenge? A Virgin Trains sandwich?). Love them because their eyesight's gone a bit so they can't see me properly and use their imagination to make up for it. And they always have reading glasses handy so are able to find less than ginormous danglies. Oh, and two glasses of Sanatogen and a Philosan and they're ready for anything 
!
Seriously, they tend to know what they want and are less reticent about asking for it than younger women.
!Seriously, they tend to know what they want and are less reticent about asking for it than younger women.
Cayenne pepper and hot chilli powder should numb it fairly quickly, but you'd have to be a fan of hot food or that's the end of your fun 
.
Shouldn't the owner of the sensitive organ be able to find something to do for you until sensitivity is less? Or you could suck an ice cube then apply chilled tongue gently to sensitive area...that's one I like to be on the receiving end of.
Quite a proportion of women seem to be similarly sensitive after an orgasm... no?
.Shouldn't the owner of the sensitive organ be able to find something to do for you until sensitivity is less? Or you could suck an ice cube then apply chilled tongue gently to sensitive area...that's one I like to be on the receiving end of.
Quite a proportion of women seem to be similarly sensitive after an orgasm... no?
Always ready to lend a hand or two, Dev. And fear not NN - the age of chivalry is not dead, though a suit of armour and a fully extended lance does tend to attract attention .
Sierra, trial session is an excellent idea....just for research purposes, of course, ensure a nice snug fit. NWC, can't have you blacking your own - or anyone elses! - eyes :shock:; having studied your avatar...closely, ahem...I think you need the super deluxe edition.
Hmmm, Ray Mears, Scoob - suppose he could cover all sizes from scooped out limes to watermelons, but my hands are more adjustable and not at all sticky...honest.
fun4u2c, is going braless common practice in the NE? I've often thought of moving up there ;).
Partyman, pants - or panties? Oh my, what if there's a panties shortage? Half the female populattion could be walking round with no panties...<wicked grin>...oh dearie me, how sad, never mind
. Sierra, trial session is an excellent idea....just for research purposes, of course, ensure a nice snug fit. NWC, can't have you blacking your own - or anyone elses! - eyes :shock:; having studied your avatar...closely, ahem...I think you need the super deluxe edition.
Hmmm, Ray Mears, Scoob - suppose he could cover all sizes from scooped out limes to watermelons, but my hands are more adjustable and not at all sticky...honest.
fun4u2c, is going braless common practice in the NE? I've often thought of moving up there ;).
Partyman, pants - or panties? Oh my, what if there's a panties shortage? Half the female populattion could be walking round with no panties...<wicked grin>...oh dearie me, how sad, never mind
Due to the fact that 6 million Chinese-made bras are currently held 'in limbo' (probably a warehouse near Slough) due to trade quotas or sumfink, a serious bra shortage may soon be upon us.
Purely in a spirit of selfless altruism , I am prepared to offer my services as a 'human bra' to any woman who finds herself temporarily unsupported. My hands are guaranteed warm and would fit anything up to a generous C cup. For ladies with a little more up front, I'm sure arrangements can be made for a two man team.
Alternatively, take one handle from each of two Tesco carrier bags and tie them together, then put your arms through the other two handles and tie them behind your back.
Guys, if there's a boxer shorts-age, you're on your own :shock: .
Purely in a spirit of selfless altruism
, I am prepared to offer my services as a 'human bra' to any woman who finds herself temporarily unsupported. My hands are guaranteed warm and would fit anything up to a generous C cup. For ladies with a little more up front, I'm sure arrangements can be made for a two man team. Alternatively, take one handle from each of two Tesco carrier bags and tie them together, then put your arms through the other two handles and tie them behind your back.
Guys, if there's a boxer shorts-age, you're on your own :shock: .
There's a parallel universe into which 'lost' things go and disappear forever, things like odd socks and cheap biros and anything you put into 'a safe place'. I suspect dummies can find their way in there too. I'm told it's accessible through the back of a washing machine but I'm not about to look in case I get pulled in and have my socks harvested.
"With the greatest of respect"....meaning "I think your talking out yer arse but I'm too mealy-mouthed to say so"
"Hi, Sir, I'm Cindy, Sir, I'm calling from Really Irritating Telemarketing, Sir. Would you, Sir, be interested, Sir, in..." (I put phone down on table very quietly and walk away)
"Do you mind if I ....." Try saying, "Yes actually I mind very much" in reply.
"Have you seen our holiday photos?" Aaargh! (Run, run for your life.)
(Automated voice) "We're extremely sorry for the delay to your journey". Bollocks you are, and what good is an apology, it's a train we need!
"Hi, Sir, I'm Cindy, Sir, I'm calling from Really Irritating Telemarketing, Sir. Would you, Sir, be interested, Sir, in..." (I put phone down on table very quietly and walk away)
"Do you mind if I ....." Try saying, "Yes actually I mind very much" in reply.
"Have you seen our holiday photos?" Aaargh! (Run, run for your life.)
(Automated voice) "We're extremely sorry for the delay to your journey". Bollocks you are, and what good is an apology, it's a train we need!
One evening about this time of year a few years back, I was walking along a hill path on Skye when a couple came running down the path towards me waving their arms like maniacs. I stepped aside and let them pass, only to find the cause of their distress a round the corner a minute later - a huge cloud of frankly enormous midges! These beggars descended like flying piranhas and chased me off in pursuit of the couple.
Moral of this story: Skye in August would not be my choice of venue for outdoor frolics!
Moral of this story: Skye in August would not be my choice of venue for outdoor frolics!
