Darkfire's Profile

31 Dec 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
sorry but i have got to say...what a bloody stupid post :!:
are you seriously saying if i posted a add saying i was looking for a single guy in his 30's of avarage build that means i should meet every single guy in his 30s of avarage build that contacts me?
they are just starting points of course your going to say no if you don't fancy them after seeing a pic :shock:
what you supposed to do? meet them anyway just cause you spoke to them and 'got their hopes up'?
dear oh dear i dunno
we all get turned down love its all part of swinging

Amen to that NN !!
and this:
Lissa wrote:

are you really suggesting I should go through with it anyway? Will I fuck!!! Just because I choose a swinging lifestyle doesn't make me fair game to every bloke with a cock...............it's MY body, and I'll share it with whoever I choose.

and this:
NWC wrote:

I cant believe that in this day and age that anyone would seriously think that just because someone was on a swingers site that they would just automatically jump into bed with just ANYONE BECAUSE THEY HAD THE TACKLE

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30 Dec 2005

Congrats you two!! biggrin

hear this all you newbies - do not drink the water!! lol

seriously though Bernie & Bassman, all the best!
oooooo another SH weddin' munch , where's me hat? biggrin

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30 Dec 2005

Quote by Feklar
Your Hotlanta Kink Test score was 565!
Far too low... need to get more points.
Help me Darkfire you're my only hope....

:twisted: :twisted: you think? well, could always push the boundaries of the richter scale I supose..... :shock:
I have to say though (and no Feklar this aint directed at you!) that although this is meant to be a bit of fun, some people *appear* to be treating it like a competition ! rolleyes

- that, or there's some serious wishful thinking happening! :twisted:
End of the day ( lol

) it doesnt matter how kinky you are - kinky doesnt make it good - just makes it 'different! and I reckon it's more likely to scare people away than it is to increase ya chances of 'getting a shag' around here - so, just stop it folks cos it aint big and it aint clever. lol

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30 Dec 2005

Hiya Hunglou wave

Welcome to the Cafe biggrin

- why not tell us a little bit more about you (but congrats on the age and gender, that's more info than some people have provided us with! wink

)
Come, join in with the threads and you'll soon settle in & get to know a few folk biggrin

Welcome by the way!

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30 Dec 2005

Quote by piercedJon
Perfectly normal, especially here as we have four voyeur pussys. Many a time have we caried on with activities and our little treasures have been curled up beside us.

I don't mind pussies watching, but I draw the line at dogs being allowed in the room after an incident during a foursome :shock:
Lets just say, while having doggy sex with the female half of a lovely couple I was enjoying my balls being licked... when I realised my ex and the lovely lady's partner were infront of us and neither of them could have been licking my balls :shock:
Thank god we all had a wicked sence of humour... although for about 3 months every time I entered the msn chat room I was greeted with half the room "singing" 'kioraaaaaa, I'll be your dawg!" and the other half going 'what the f are you lot on?' lol

:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: rotflmao

omg, omg I can hear it now @ Kiorrraaaaaa , I'll be your Dawg
Jon you crack me up, you do - I aint laughed this much in feckin ages!! :thumbup: absolutely bloody brilliant!!

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30 Dec 2005

Quote by martellnotts

Stuartrossy - missed a chance matey - but you looked busy - trapped in someones web me thinks, nice to see you too

LOL

You are not wrong there mate, I was very busy but what the hell you should have come over and chatted any ways I am wanting to meet the famous Martellnotts, heard lots but not really spoke!!
Well you did meet me - so to speak - outside after the burning of Marcuso's shorts - good job I didnt come over - other wise we might all have got more than we bargined for smile

if i remember rightly, proceedings were interrupted by the fresh fragrance of Jasmine and Magnolia and the distinct sound of 'Psssssssssssssst Pssssssssssssssst Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst' rotflmao

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29 Dec 2005

Quote by Manfea
sorry did not realise Iâ€™d done the signature thing am changing it next and setting up a profile i know html so will try and do something eye catching, but thank you for your feed back Iâ€™ve already read both suggested posts but again thanks as any suggestions are appreciated. - David

the two threads provided by Squirtee cover most things - please, if you want to ask for specific advice, I'm sure folk are prepared to give it. At the moment the 'Mentoring' scheme for you 'noobs' is on hold cos of Xmas and stuff, but, if Mal gets it up and running again, you can always ask for a mentor in the new year.
In the meantime though, other people will give you good advice - just ask - and as long as we aint wasting our breath to people who dont follow advice, help will come in abundance. biggrin

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29 Dec 2005

Firstly - you dont need to have your advert written in full in your sig hunny.
you can just have a link to your ad instead! wink

- and, there's even a sticky telling you how to do it (dont ask me, I just followed the instructions given and bingo - small sig, instant access to info about me!)
other than that, squirtee has provided you with good links to probably all the answers you need biggrin

Welcome , by the way! :welcome:

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29 Dec 2005

Quote by skybluebabes
if its my partner i do whatever he wants me to do and he will cum wherever he wants to cum!!
..... but ive yet to meet a man who is prepared to taste it if i wipe it off my tits and put some in his mouth. Do you guys not like that?

some do, some dont I guess.....will wait for the guys to come answer this too - but, as Alanxxxxxxxx just wrote , there seems to be some percieved connection with tasting your own cum and being gay :shock: - wtf!!
any guy who'll come kiss me when I've swallowed - and obviously doesnt mind it/ likes it gets a big :thumbup: from me.
and its bugger all to do with being "gay" either, just kinda says he's comfortable with doing that and after all, what' s good for one is good enough for the other! guys want us to swallow, or at least give oral to completion - give it back, it's only fair! lol

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29 Dec 2005

Quote by stuartrossy1
It was great to see everyone who came and the newbies it really was a pleasure to meet you all - Stuart very sexy and scrummy hope me and Debs never scared you off
Ok Marc whens the next one
Steph

Thanks steph nice to meet you two , no you and debs did'nt scare me off, It was one hell of a baptism of fire though
!!to the legendary Marcuso party scene!!
:laughabove: the words nail and head spring to mind hun!
just be thankful it wasnt a baptism of dark fire too! :scared: rotflmao

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29 Dec 2005

Quote by freckledbird
eden is so crap and a weast of money and you don't even see pussy how crap it that yes we need a swining club in derby

:shock:

So you think you should be guaranteed a look at pussy if you go in a swinging club?
Someone tell me exactly why it's a good idea to go when there are people like this in there?
I've worked Eden before (and no, not as a dancer , before anyone gets excited and starts sending me PM's! rolleyes

) and as with many lapdancing clubs now, what you pay for is the lapdance/ pole dance - which, entails the dancer literally dancing for you / in front of you for a few minutes.
There is absolutely no guarantee, or 'right' to see anything other than what you pay for - which is of course, the dance, some sexy moves and maybe a quick kiss (peck on cheek). Most lapdancing (or 'gentlemans clubs') do not employ dancers to show anything - and expecting to see anything more than a revealing costume or the odd knicker-flash is enough to get you seen out the back door pronto. The safety of the 'girls' is paramount and I'm afraid its exactly this ' they dont even show pussy' attitude which makes it this way.

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29 Dec 2005

Quote by SteveyHants
Hiya Stevey
Welcome to SH - and congrats on finding us here in the Cafe!
life will never be the same ya know!

Thanks and as for life not being the same, i hope not !!! biggrin

if ya stick around, and join in here on the forums.....I can guarantee it! Wave bye bye to normality right now biggrin

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29 Dec 2005

Hiya Stevey biggrin

Welcome to SH - and congrats on finding us here in the Cafe!
life will never be the same ya know! wink

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29 Dec 2005

Quote by kazswallows
please iss can I come ????
maybe I give you the lapdance this time lol

ooooooooo for a lapdance, I'm anybodies........;)
your more than welcome, name added and note in diary for lapdance booking kiss

lmao Feklar - you've done it this time!! front row seat ticket for the lapdance a la Feklar please?? worship

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29 Dec 2005

If this wasnt one of those 'oooo look at me' threads, I might have given you a sensible answer!

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29 Dec 2005

Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
Sorry I couldn't make it!!
Sounds like quite a party but what else would anyone expect from a Marcuso party!
Darkfire - I want to here all about the "short burning ceremony" :giggle:

oh, you mean the bit where Marcuso got carried off caveman style by most of the lovely men there.....had the shorts removed by force and ended up wearing a bin bag fashioned into something to preserve his modesty :shock: :shock: - at which point people were looking for a lighter, in the room, and were going to burn them there and then! lol

someone had the bright idea :idea: that maybe we should actually do the burning outside though cos of the fire alarms lol

- cue lots of people herding downstairs and outside , the Tongue being the sensible one and found a broom handle onto which the already burning shorts were hoisted and held aloft triumphantly to cheers and whistles from the baying crowd rotflmao

(I dont actually know who had the 'first light', but wouldnt name names anyway if I did!! wink

)
There were cameras flashing so I'm sure someone will follow this with a photo of this jubilant occasion! wink

Finally, someone produced a fire extinguisher (alexDJ??) and Marcuso came out all hero-like proceeded to spray anyone in the immediate vicinity of the little burning bundle with it in a doomed effort to save the shorts while screaming 'Ya Bastards'!!! ! rolleyes

As most other folk went back inside, and Marcuso got the Kleenex out, one of the barstaff came down with a can of airfreshner :shock: mumbling ' feckin hell that stinks' and spraying Jasmine & Magnolia in the carpark! rotflmao

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29 Dec 2005

Another cracking Marcuso party! Well done babes!
We even had Ali G put in a guest appearance :shock: â€“ and burnt the shorts! :twisted: :twisted: and the Secret Santa gift exhange was a great idea! Sorry I couldnâ€™t make the after-party this time - Thanks for another good night, and to everyone who helped out: Vicky, BiPoison, Julie, kiss

I always say Iâ€™m not gonna do the naming names thing incase I miss someone always feel like thereâ€™s a few ( :shock: ) folk I want to mention So â€“ apologies if I miss anyone out: :scared:
Kazswallows â€“ jesus that dress! :twisted: Always look amazing and the outfits get sexier everytime. Fantastic badges hun & it was good to see you again. Sir Lee â€“ gorgeous bloke who wants to get me on karaoke. Are you mad?! :shock:
AlexDJ â€“ another job well done! Great to see you again! biggrin

Debbiewebs â€“ did anyone else see the fireworks or was it just me? :twisted: lol

Really glad you could make it babes. passionkiss

Pebbles & Demon â€“ oh god, those boots! :P Hope everything was OK when you got home. :therethere:
Sleazy â€“ even the big bear hugs feel good! Damn that ankle hun cos I wanted your company on the dancefloor. Brilliant brilliant bloke. passionkiss

And NN â€“ Love ya just the way you are . Always really good to see ya. passionkiss

Redhouse â€“ Hope you enjoyed your first social hun, was good to meet you! biggrin

Suze43 & Bardutch â€“ Finally got to chat with you, and honey you are stunning. kiss

Feklar â€“ fast becoming our star (not-so) newbie! Good to see you again!
Vicky_Uk and everyone who puts up with me hijacking plug points & mirrors at Marcusoâ€™s: kiss

And this wouldnâ€™t be a thankyou thread without mentioning Martell â€“ got me there and back in one piece, you were fantastic company again Bud. Thankyou
biggrin

:rose:
and blimey my head hurts today! lol

Hi to everyone I met or chatted to last night if not already mentioned above! : Jane & Will, A26 & Mr H, Pleasure, Steph, DreamerHelen, Steff35, Shell, Stuartrossy, KazBBW, Jackie & Will, Nomad-Soul, Corrie, Mrs Everready, Chris, DevonDelight, Phoenix-with-the-impromptu -sex- toy.....good grief i'll be here all day! ....
Only a week til the next one though so if you want to come grab me and say 'Oi, you forgot me!', please do! :cheers:

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28 Dec 2005

Quote by tiger69
ty all for try to help me as far as my spilling go i have wot you call disliser i think that how you spill it as for my as i have got pic no there so wot can i say about me that stand out ido konw ihave a car

I think what Tiger means is he has dyslexia, at the upper end of the scale? dunno

Tiger, listen, I'll help you put an ad together that is readable and that others can understand - but I cant help you with your posts here in the forum, which is where you'll have the best chance of joining in.....
try to write your posts in Word first, then copy and paste into here - and use the spell check. What you write doesnt have to be perfect, but I think you're gonna need to think out what you want to say first and just take your time - otherwise it's difficult for us to understand what you're trying to say, and people get the wrong end of the stick, or simply lose patience.
biggrin

Hello by the way.
In edit : - I just realised that this is the same guy I've replied to elsewhere - and where i specifically say most of us aint here to 'help' we're here to have fun!
rolleyes

Women. One day we'll make our minds up! wink

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28 Dec 2005

Quote by Marcuso

As per the email sent, you all have my number as well as Marcuso's, so give me a ring if you need anything.

Just had a phone call off Sleazy......He has a 4x4 AND snow chains.......Anyone that gets stuck, just give me a bell on the number sent out in the venue details, with where you are and he'll come and fetch you.
(Hope no-one needs to, but the offer is there)
Roads round here are pretty good at the moment, so hopefully it should be a pretty good journey for everyone.
Ya just gotta love Sleazy - ever the practical bloke who's got everything!! (including NN :twisted: , jammy bugger) - Bless Ya Sleazy biggrin

0more sleeps............ Woo Hoo!!!

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

:happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:

:cheers: drinkies

:cheers:

:happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:

:happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:

:happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:

Blatantly stolen from Dambuster
Blatantly stolen from Angelchat
It's time ladies and gents, Its time! biggrin

weather is fine, given out slight snow showers for later but nowt to worry about, roads are pretty much clear now too - but, BBC website suggests fog :shock: tomorrow...... how the hell do they know the state of my head after a Marcuso party? lol

see you all very soon!! :mrgreen:

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28 Dec 2005

the first thing that strikes me is the 'can you help me' bit.
To be frank I read that and switched off. I dont think many of us are here for a shag cos it will 'help' someone - we want a shag cos its fun!
For me personally, there's nothing more offputting, in an ad, than lack of confidence. I think we all have insecurites but your ad is focussed on the negative - and reads like you 're here looking for a helping hand not a good time.
confused

and due to that you probably wont get past first base in order to meet people in person & show us different!
HLB has given you the best advice - come join in in the Cafe, come post a bit and let people get to know your post style and personaility. For those who are truly swingers and not just here for a quick shag or a helping hand , the forums & just being around socially so people get to know the 'real' you, not your advert, works wonders! biggrin

hope that helps wink

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28 Dec 2005

Hello Earthchild
Welcome ! wave

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28 Dec 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
if i see you under the table i'll kick ya :kick:

yeah. like I said, there's some fantastic people on this site :shock: lol

I look foward to it NN ! :twisted: just dont do it wearing those bloody New Rocks :eeek:

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28 Dec 2005

I'll be there in 12 hours time biggrin

(bump! lmao)

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28 Dec 2005

Quote by sarflad
cheers
im a bi male but am also up for straight sex with MF couples and no male bi stuff going on at all.
I suppose I think dont have to eat all the types of chocolates in a selection box in one sitting!

you learn fast! Welcome to SH :welcome:
as others have suggested, read the advice pages, and the link Steph has provided for you - and dont even attempt to 'do' this like a bull in a china shop - because you will fail!
come, join in on the forums, especially in the cafe, post some more, let folk get to know your posting style & personality and a bit more about you - then see about coming to a social meet or two. Like Mal's said - you get out of this what you put in!
and, can I please pinch that bit in bold from your post, cos I like it! biggrin

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28 Dec 2005

Yes I know the said hotel etc etc - pm me please and i'll pass you details.
If Claicerrig is around, he will also give you info - he did write a review in the clubs and parties section but i think we're still waiting for it to go up. rolleyes

I'll mail him anyway and pass on your email addy.
biggrin

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28 Dec 2005

Blimey, I'll have to get the Kleenex out in a minute!
but seriously now.... *ahem* ....stands up to make a speech....
I have met some fantastic people here, made some very true friends and you lot have filled some lonely evenings with fun, laughter, wit and yes, sometimes total bollox ( lol

) - and ya know what? it's bloody brilliant!
I shall of course be drinking to this tomorrow so if anyone spots a shopping trolley or similar to shove me in and wheel me home, that would be fantastic. Similarly, please check under the table before you leave the venue as I shall no doubt be unconcious under one of them having made love to my mate Mr JD all night biggrin

Cheers all! biggrin

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27 Dec 2005

Just realised I've quietly crept up to 1000 posts!!
I'd best shut up now! lol

to all the lovely people who have made me welcome, and provided me with many an hour of laughs and fun here, when I should really have been working or doing other constructive things!!
Cheers folks! biggrin

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27 Dec 2005

Well its minus 4 here, its absolutely feckin freezing.
Had some snow earlier which has turned to mush and since iced over - and as usual, not a bloody gritter wagon anywhere rolleyes

Main roads are clear so far, but they are icy, so anyone coming up this way for Marcuso's doo tomorrow, please take care & allow extra time for your journey. wink

brrrrrrr, where's me fleecy jimjams? biggrin

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27 Dec 2005

Just to let folk know, at the mo the roads are trecherous up here, so please, unless weather conditions ease tomorrow, take care when driving.
There's been a bit of snow - which has now iced over rolleyes

. M1 is clear though, just allow plenty of time for your journey tomorrow!
I'm bringing my trainers lol - will change shoes inside venue cos I can guarantee I'll be the first one to go arse over tit in heels!! redface

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27 Dec 2005

Quote by stuartNW
ive done that to someone and had them do it to me.......its amazing, but as has been said. you need total trust with the person......whats also fun is that if the tied up person has is pleasured by several different people in severl ways...and if agreed has the whole thing videod so they can watch the event afterwards when they arent blindfolded

Agreed
and I'm definately with the 'needs to be with someone you totally trust' . I really dont think this is one for the 'one-off meet' type occasion, more to be shared with someone you're pretty close to and know/ understand well. When it is, it's just incredible. biggrin

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