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Darkfire
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 50
0 miles · Greater London
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Has everyone remembered to get/ do their Secret Santa???????? biggrin biggrin biggrin

Can I give you a secret santa for Marcuso? It involves him bending over and you doing this on my behalf smackbottom
with the very greatest of pleasure NWC!!! :twisted: , I owe Marcuso a couple myself so send the crop over by special delivery and i'll whooop his ass especially hard for you wink biggrin
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Darkfire
Sex God
I must have had one too many then cos my imagination's just gone on overdrive and I thought that was horny as hell !!!!!, especially the fingers bit! :twisted: :twisted:
jesus I must be getting desperate! lol
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by Marcuso
3 more sleeps!!!!!

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce::bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

:happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:

:cheers: drinkies :cheers: drinkies :cheers: drinkies :cheers: drinkies :cheers: drinkies :cheers: drinkies :cheers: drinkies :cheers: drinkies :cheers: drinkies

:happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:


:happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:


:happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:

Blatantly stolen from Dambuster
Blatantly stolen from Angelchat

whoooooooo hoooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
cant sleep, too excited!! very very soon it'll be only 2 sleeps!! biggrin biggrin biggrin biggrin
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Darkfire
Sex God
Really sorry Steph but I cant make this now. :cry: My apologies to all, I have to work and cant get cover .
Ah well, have fun biggrin
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Darkfire
Sex God
Cherry Brandy over ice biggrin
Mr JD is about to make an appearance though as I'm still sober! rolleyes
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by sexylondonguy
on a more serious note, what i really want for christmas is for my girlfriend to be happy, regain her smile and get some christmas spirit. this is our first christmas and apparently she's always misrebale for some reason over christmas. makes me sad sad. so if santa is reading or someone is in contact with him, then please give my gf a big dose of happiness.
A happy gf makes a very happy boyfriend biggrin

awww thats really heart wrenching mate, perhaps something bad happed at xmas when she was little....poor little bugger,
hope you have a good xmas, an if your g/f ever wants to swing with ya give us a shout, by the way ...the rugged phase on your photo looks good
Well my gf is going crazy wanting to unleash her bi side, just haven't found a lady for her to have fun with :P also we'd love to go to a swingers club, but no idea where neutral we're amature n00bs and no one to guide us ;)
But London's a bit of a distance from you?
Stick around hunny, the guidance will come from support and friendships I think you're about to make on here - and the opportunity may well just be round the corner! biggrin
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by bumpkin
This is really embarrassing for me redface redface Just done it again and pushed it up to 246 redface redface Suppose it must have something to do with not having an active wink partner for so long biggrin

aww bless ya Bumpkin :therethere:
rotflmao
dont worry hun, stick around, am sure we can change that for ya! wink
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Darkfire
Sex God
flucking hell!! :shock:
]Congratulations!
Your Hotlanta Kink Test score was 620!
I think I need to go polish the halo a tad ! :scared:
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Darkfire
Sex God
Guess who's gonna go against the grain again!! rolleyes
I'm a bit funny with this 'watching' stuff - as I'm a big gal, I do get self-concious (occasionally, not often! ) ( :shock: :shock: Dark said self-concious ) and this particularly happens when I'm being watched - male or female, it doesnt matter.
I like to 'let myself go' - and that's usually impossible when I'm concentrating too much on my performance as its seen by others. I'll 'play-up' to my audience if they're strangers I'm never likley to see again or friends I consider to be friends because they dont judge or because they're 'into' me as a person.......but put me in a room where there's folk I vuagely know and who I have a high possibility of bumping into again and I am the epitomy of shrinking violet lol redface
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by cheekychimp
I wanna be adored is a great track to shag to lol
sorry, its me, lowering the tone again!! redface
I dont really like either - but that track's the best of the lot. biggrin

I'm listening to it Now.....wish I was shagging to it......how yer fixed Darkfire...?
Marcus...x
fuck me I've pulled! :shock:
Smooth talker...... redface
eee, i'm a classy bird me wink
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by stuartrossy1
Ok I have analysed the evidence and seen that most women who answered said yes!!!
Well they must not be from derby thats all I can say have not met a woman in derby willing to let me do it!! booo!!

innocent you didnt analyse em all thatwell then did you!? lol
mind you, I'm not actually in Derby, so I dont count! confused
damn shame. :twisted:
lol lol
Oh I have tried to analyse them all ,Dark, oh I have tried.... sigh!!
:twisted: totally agree damn shame your not really from derby as such or you couldchange that lol but hey I am willing to travel to bump up your areas figures if you like!! lol
Honey it wouldnt be my areas figures you'd be bumping.
lol
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by cheekychimp
I wanna be adored is a great track to shag to lol
sorry, its me, lowering the tone again!! redface
I dont really like either - but that track's the best of the lot. biggrin

I'm listening to it Now.....wish I was shagging to it......how yer fixed Darkfire...?
Marcus...x
fuck me I've pulled! :shock:
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Darkfire
Sex God
I wanna be adored is a great track to shag to lol
sorry, its me, lowering the tone again!! redface
I dont really like either - but that track's the best of the lot. biggrin
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by stuartrossy1
Ok I have analysed the evidence and seen that most women who answered said yes!!!
Well they must not be from derby thats all I can say have not met a woman in derby willing to let me do it!! booo!!

innocent you didnt analyse em all thatwell then did you!? lol
mind you, I'm not actually in Derby, so I dont count! confused
damn shame. :twisted:
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by farmersboy
Sorry jane but hate to say this "darkfire may be right" If the actual stop tar is turned on and no water try turning the cold taps on
If its the actual stoptap stuck W D 40 or similar + a bit of brute force

I know I wasnt right, but, you dont mind if I just copy and paste that and stick it in a frame as a reminder for future reference do you? lol
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Darkfire
Sex God
sorry cant help ya with advice luv, but am rotflmao rotflmao here!!
you probably read my 'help i need a plumber i'm gushing everywhere' post a couple of weeks ago??? am sorry to hear you're all dried up :giggle: but, consolation is at least ya not flooding your kitchen !
am laughing my ass off here cos us SH'ers dont use things like yellow pages/ phone a friend/ DIY manuals............we come on here, submit a post, and you just know that there'll be someone here who can help. I think its fantastic - therefore funny :shock: (dont worry, i'm a fruitcake, I makes total sense to me ! loon )
someone 'll be along in a min to help ya, I cant, I know bugger all about plumbing etc.... am tempted to say do you have air trapped in pipes cos ya water's been off? - but that's neither use nor ornament cos i dont know how to rectify it if you do! rolleyes
Dear Santa, for Xmas I would like an illustrated manual of DIY please so I can learn this stuff and stop being so thick when it comes to emergency repairs wink
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Darkfire
Sex God
Hiya Vicky
If poss, can I get a hotels list please?
and if, once confirmations are in etc, there's room left for the munch, could you put me down as +1 ?? I'm hoping to introduce a friend to the munch phenomenon! biggrin (newbie but is a SH member)
Ta x
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Darkfire
Sex God
I passed second time - 7 months ago!!
on my first test I was perfect, until the last 5 minutes of the test, when the examiner asked me to pull over in a safe place and stop. I did.... happened to be on a bloody great big hill. 'Ok, when you're ready, move off please' he says ..... Dark thinks whahayy, this is it, home straight..... let handbrake off and started to roll back :shock: . Stopped, corrected it, handbrake on...... mirrors, indicators, handbrake off, rolling back :shock: ......stops, corrects it, handbrake back on.......
this went on for a good 5 mins and it was obvioulsy showing by this time that I didnt have a feckin clue what i was doing wrong and it was highly likely we'd be stop-roll-stop-rolling all feckin day ....
so, helpful people that these examiners are had to inform me that ' you do have to put the car into first gear before attempting to move off'. redface redface redface
:doh:
passed with flying colours on my second attempt ...sorted the insurance out the following day and then decided (spontaneous woman that I am :shock: ) that it would be a really good idea to drive to see a mate.....2 junctions down the M1.....in rush hour traffic. :shock: :scared: :scared: . Scared meself stupid I did......110 mph sandwiched in the middle lane absolutely kackin me pants. Eventually stopped shaking and drove the long way home ! redface
I still dont do the M1 now if I can possibly avoid it, traumatised meself for life I did. :lol2:
bad Darkfire smackbottom
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by kijjy
wot bout me??? mad mad mad mad

with that attitude & the fact you've only posted once.....think its safe to assume you aint got a hope in hell! biggrin
lol
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by DreamerHelen
Jack47 if Steph can vouch for you then that's fine.....you're on the list.
Steve44nw I have seen you around enough you are on the list.... biggrin

Am happy to vouch for Steve44nw if you need it in addition Helen, we met at the Wigan munch/ afternoon drinkies session biggrin
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by piercedJon
mind you, the examiner did look a bit pale as though all the blood was drained from his face as he said "you've passed... I dont ever want to be in a car with you again."
I've calmed down since ;-)
BUT... I know someone who has the same attitued I used to have and had the pleasure of a lift in her car (fecking bricking it I was ;-)) mind you... we did make the derby pub... and I got home ok even if I did have to be so pissed I cant remember much of the journy home...
darkfire is soooo going to kick my ass for this, lmao

awww Jon mate, its a damn shame you cant remember it :rascal: rotflmao
and yes, you are in sooooo much trouble now! :kick: smackbottom next time you want free transportation you can kiss my ass :kissmyarse:
:lol2:
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
I may be missing something here – but I am not sure why this is such an issue now confused
Haven’t these PM’s always been a problem?
I can’t think of a time when there was not a bunch of one line shite PM’s or cut and paste prewritten chancer’s circulars in my inbox and usually as a result of nothing more than appearing as logged in.
My delete button still works fine biggrin

I think I've been lucky up to now, it's very rare I get PM's and when I do it's usually after a munch where I've met new folk, and others now and again only from folk I've met and know - which suits me just fine!
Since August I havent had one speculative one-liner....no chancers...no wank-brigade... it's been great. When I open my messages I know there'll be something there from people I like to get messages from, someone just popping in to say hello etc, and that's much the same as the PM's I send out.
It might be sommat to do with the fact that I've been mistaken for a bloke on here ( redface redface ), but now I'm up there with the single bi-fem thing glowing in neon lights, well, lets just say the delete button has had some serious usage since Tuesday!!
feckin a/s/l :kick: :sparring: rolleyes
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by naughtynymphos1
Neil, I fully agree 100% to everything you have said above. Its the regular members that make this site what it is, and it is those very same members which are being driven away with all the 'improvements'.
I know this is only a web site, and in the scheme of things is not that important when you look at all the other things which are going on in peoples lives, but I actually feel saddened, as though an old friend has died. I am greiving for the 'old site' and the people who came on here.
Its always nice to have new members but this has just got totally out of hand. How long ago was it that Eager Slut did a post welcoming the 25,000th member? Look at the number now, over nearly 359,000 :shock: Just how many of them are true 'swingers' and how many are chancers presuming this is a 'quick shag' site? Ok, some members want a quick shag, but that was never what swinging heaven was about, it was a way to meet and get to know like minded people. I am sorry to say that I feel that as been lost, and we are now 'members' of a quick shag site! We could stand on the street corner if thats what we wanted!
I understand that the new owners want/need to make money, but I am now feeling that this is at the expense of existing members. I sat on the fence and kept quiet when they took over and thought that I would just wait and see what changes they did make. However, I am very disapointed at the changes and feel that these changes will actually backfire on the owners and they will end up losing the very people who make this site (forums) the 'community' that it is!
R.I.P Swinging Heaven :cry:
We miss you xxx

i fully agree with everything you have said there, to me this is not just a web site its a way to keep in touch with friends, we have made some great m8s over the year or so i've been using the forum, mets loads of great people, been to munches, parties etc and i just feel that if the site goes down we will all loose touch as there is just to many friends on here to keep in touch with without a genral meeting place to chat on such as here, i just feel that all this site is about is numbers and money now and us regulars mean nothing, but i would like to point out the sites only as good as the people who use it wink
NN, it aint that long ago that we were all congratulating you on 5000 posts of utter bollox..... but I take it all back cos you've just said what the rest of us - that are left- are thinking.
Well said that woman! worship worship worship worship worship
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by well_busty_babe
please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please
can this not turn into another 12 page bbw thread! :shock:
dont think my nerves could stand it! lol lol

ditto that WBB worship worship
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by martellnotts
Sorry rams - the pair of you - and all you lovely people who are currying on Friday
Not been well so I will have to pass this time up
But Im in for the next one
M
xxxxx

smackbottom smackbottom smackbottom Martell.
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Darkfire
Sex God
Well, I'm gonna go against the grain here lmfao - cos I like it biggrin dont like it in my eyes though, yep, it stings like hell fire evil
however - there are conditions: Ask me where I want it and I'll tell you wink
: It depends on the guy wink
But, any bloke who expects to cum on my face and attempts it in some kind of degradation mission, probably wont ever cum again! :twisted:
mwaahhh haa haaaa haaaaaaa :twisted:
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by deancannock
I'ave been around a while now ..does this make me eligable for a quick shag !!!
If so please send requests to PM box..and be quick about it !!!!

smackbottom smackbottom
been inundated yet?
This is not a quick shag site!! rolleyes lol - (in edit) - at least it wasn't a quick shag site!
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Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by Greyman
Thanks for the welcome.
I am not of the wanna shag bregade.
Going from posts I have seen I am probably more at the Harry Jones end of the specturm.
However, please do not ask me do demonstrate anything along the lines of the 'speedwhack' as some of my parts may be datachable and I wouldn't want to find out the hard way.
I am a bit disapointed what I threw out a line like 'Observing the lay of the land' and didn't get a nibble.

Hiya Greyman wave
as you're happy to pronounce yourself as not one of the wank-brigade, Dark is happy to welcome you to SH! biggrin
we're a nice friendly bunch really, you've just caught us on a bad day in the middle of some turbulance. Stick around honey, it'll be fun, honest!
Dark xx - also happy to welcome anyone else who isnt of the wank-brigade wink
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