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Darkfire
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 50
0 miles · Greater London
Forum
Quote by Jon
A forum for chatroom people?
i give up
Yet another person who has overlooked the reason behind this forum being created
Actually No. And as your comments are directed at me, I'll answer them. You have cross posted my above comment from another thread. What I actually posted in this thread was ' so, its a forum for chatroom people? - with a question mark on the end
I posed a question to which you have given a contradictory answer:
Quote by The Welcome Thread
This is a place dedicated to all matters concerning the Video Chatroom, whether they are good comments or bad. It is not another Cafe, nor is it a slow-motion Chatroom. It has been provided as it was felt that there needed to be a place for Chatroom Users to leave messages, for each other and for admin.
So, according to the above quote, it is a place (a forum) for chatroom users to leave messages for eachother - as in, talk to each other. Isnt the entire point and one of the big 'up's' of the chatroom that people talk to one another in real-time, and not in static messages? Therefore, I havent overlooked the point of this forum at all. It is for chatroom users, and its a forum. Where's the oversight?
Quote by Chatroom Lounge
General discussion for all things related to the swingers chatroom. Use The Cafe for general chit-chat, this forum is specifically for the video chat room.
And all those people giving it "this will just make a bigger divide between chatroom and forum peeps" - I suggest asking yourself a question - What divide? - is it YOUR peception and attitude that makes this so called divide?
So, you're telling me, that in the immediate time after a forum for chatroom users is created, that there isnt a divide? ffs
'This forum is specifically for the videa chatroom'
That isnt my perception Jon, its right there in black and white.
Fuck me, you moan if chatters DARE to post in the (Cafe) forum, and now there is a forum for chatters, thats fuckin' wrong as well
We are all entitled to our opinions Jon, the beauty of the forum is that we can post them, and be damned. But we're still entitled. And your rant above, imo, is bollox.
Chatters imo are welcome to post in the Cafe, and I dont recall seeing anything to the contary? To my knowledge there has not been a 'you cant post in here because you're a chatroomer', has there? There hasnt been a munch or social that states 'this is for forum people only because chatroomers are not welcome', has there? People who cross over from chat to forum are encouraged & welcomed as far as I'm concerned, the main problem is that in the main, they dont. As has been mentioned in other threads, some of the chatroom users dont even know the forum exists :shock:
But this does raise the question in my head, that if there isnt a divide, why dont chatters use the existing forum? if there isnt a divide, why is there a now forum specifically for chatroomers? which imo far from encouraging participation in the forum forum (
) seeks only to divide the two sections more.we discussed the fact that even the mods seem more biased towards there own forum members than chatroom regs.
mark&nicky wrote I for one will be using this forum more now that us reg chat users have a place to go with out as 2 ops have now said being flamed for being in the cafe .
- just like that.
I cant be arsed with this. I recall a conversation as a newbie over coffee 12 months ago, slating someone for 'defending ' the forum (and the site generally) because at that time I couldnt see the point. I now understand exactly why people defend it, but no longer want any part of it.
Quote by SteveClarke
Very important persons birthday that day, otherwise I'd love to come and meet some peeps (naturally applying for an invite on hands and knees first...). Have fun all
thanks Steve, tis a shame you cant make it, there's still room on the list, but maybe next time eh?
Jon, do you really want to be scaring the locals and newbies?
:scared: The optionaldress theme is 'decadence' 
Quote by well_busty_babe
like i have said, we ARE interested, but i assume a lot of people like us will be unable to say they definately want to come, untill they are given definate prices and details.
i dont think it is a case of people being doubting of you or looking to rubbish your idea, its just that noone wants to comit to something till they are sure it will suit them.
maybe a good idea would be to work out an "acceptable" number of people.
then work out the cost and other details by this figure.
200 people at £30 each (6k) sounds ok to budget a big party on, but if for example only 80 people turned up that would mean the guests paying £75 each in ording to cover the same costs. a lot of couples might not be able to afford £150 for a night out.
maybe it would work out better if you stated that the party would only go ahead with say a minimum of 140 people and then cost it according to that.
IF you then had more turn up, its a bonus for everyone to pay a little less.
things like transport are a good idea too for all the people who normally have to drive, but by when would you know if that was possible?
also, the accomodation, would it be bring your own sleeping bags type of accom? or a bed suplied in with the price of entry?
beds for 200 people seems a big feat, hats off to you for sorting it!
things like that determine how much people would be prepared to pay.
i hope you dont take this the wrong way, people are just trying to clarify things.
and i am sure you understand that no one wants to comit to something and part with their hard earned cash untill they know its ok.
:thumbup:
Quote by Dollyminx
How many people do you actually want to meet Darkfire? Every single member? I'm a little confused by your comments, do you feel left out of events because they don't know you?
Loads and loads and loads
- but its how I meet those people that makes all the difference, personally speaking. But I dont feel 'left out' - its my own choice that I dont attend something where i dont recognise names or am not already familiar from the site with people going
with regard to mine, it has nothing to do with this thread so any comments specific to my munch to my pm box please as I'm a bit fed up of having to justify my guestlist on the forum.
I'm confused - there's another Masked Ball thread running - is it the same one?
if it is - my comment from the other thread still stands -
I'm not sure who's organising what here - and that's not 'bellyaching' that's 'i'd like to come but cant put my name down til i know more info, because i cant commit to it without the details, cost, clarification on accomodation.....& now there may be transport too? '.... but you want numbers NOW in order to work out the cost per head and there's another thread running for exactly the same event? (or is it? )
if it is - my comment from the other thread still stands -
I'm sorry, but if you can achieve all that, with accomodation all in, with food and champagne & details as stated in the other thread, for £30 per head Maximum, I will eat my hat.
i know how much my munch is costing me as the organiser - and its just a munch.
This, as you're talking about it, is going to be massive. Chances of keeping it a secret are nil. imo.
and yep, I know, I'm cynical.
I'm not sure who's organising what here
- and that's not 'bellyaching' that's 'i'd like to come but cant put my name down til i know more info, because i cant commit to it without the details, cost, clarification on accomodation.....& now there may be transport too? '.... but you want numbers NOW in order to work out the cost per head and there's another thread running for exactly the same event? (or is it? ) I'm sorry, but if you can achieve all that, with accomodation all in, with food and champagne & details as stated in the other thread, for £30 per head Maximum, I will eat my hat.
i know how much my munch is costing me as the organiser - and its just a munch.
This, as you're talking about it, is going to be massive. Chances of keeping it a secret are nil. imo.
and yep, I know, I'm cynical.
i know how much my munch is costing me as the organiser - and its just a munch.
This, as you're talking about it, is going to be massive. Chances of keeping it a secret are nil. imo.
and yep, I know, I'm cynical.
But, isnt there a difference between attending a social or munch where you may only have met a couple of people before and the rest are people you are at least familiar with from seeing them in the chatroom or forum.......... and attending something where you've never heard of most of the people there?
So do you see chatroom people as a 'risk'?
i see walking into any group of people I dont know / have never heard of as something I seriously have to consider first, in the same way I wont go to a club alone. I dont think its that I see 'chatroom people' as a 'risk', I see anyone who looks on women as a piece of meat as a risk.
Quote by essex34m
Darkfire,
you mention that if you went to a munch where there was a lot of names you didnt know, from the chatrooms, it would be like walking into the lions den, with all the directors and suchlike, as much as we berate the way in which they are towards women in the room, would they honestly be that way without the safety of the keyboard and screen to separate them?
remember, from the single fem's view - would I take that 'risk' ?
Quote by earthchild
... just cos its someone from the chat room arranging the social doesnt mean forumites arent welcome and vise versa its not like the social is being arranged in the chat room so no one from the forum will find out....
but, when its a 'particular room meet' that is in effect exclusive to the people who use that room - does 'open to chatroom and forum' always mean what it says on the tin?
I have to say when I see those, I personally dont think I or other forum users would be welcome - yes we can get on the guestlist ... chances of anyone speaking to us when we're there? ... See, I dont actually have an opinnion on this - I have thoughts, but no fixed view on it yet so wanted to know if anyone else thinks the same, or not If I didnt want people's opinnions, I wouldnt have asked!
My immediate thoughts on this are far too much from a 'single fem's point of view' than 'Darkfire's ' - if that makes any sense
But DeeCee you raise an interesting point:
so while people think that the forum is 'cliquey' (and I happen to think it is, or certainly particular groups of friends on here are which then rubs off onto the general 'feel' of things) , I do see the chatroom very similar to how you've described above. So, we can argue all day that both are as bad as each other.
Now here's the single fem talking, not the ex-bouncer, the rottweiler etc - MY personal 'issue' is that when i see a guestlist which is 90% full of names I've never heard of (people i know nothing about) it instantly puts me off. I like to know who's going, who I might be interested in chatting to etc, and who's organising. So I always end up going to 'forum organised events' . I very much like to meet new people, but I aint walking into the lion's den - especially when I do see the chatroom mentality similar to how DeeCee described above ( and obviously, some chatroom people feel exactly the same about 'forum organised events' ). We spend considerable time berating the directors, wanking on cam, the general 'get yer tits out' atmosphere - am I wrong to think I kinda dont want to be in that atmosphere face to face?
more thoughts please, i'm still forming an oppinion
and Sean
good point :thumbup:
If I didnt want people's opinnions, I wouldnt have asked! My immediate thoughts on this are far too much from a 'single fem's point of view' than 'Darkfire's ' - if that makes any sense
But DeeCee you raise an interesting point:
Quote by DeeCee
having spent some time in the chatrooms its easy to see that in the majority, people tend to be nice in there ( normally for an ulterior motive)... and sometimes- "OVER NICE"... sometime to the point of it being sickening... whereas here theres more variation of subject matter.... and more diverse topics under debate.... the chatrooms are really "titty shows" and when someone comes on here acting like a desperate perv... they are soon put in hteir place
dont get me wrong im not saying that its always like that... theres some rude and insulting behaviour at the other end of the spectrum....
so while people think that the forum is 'cliquey' (and I happen to think it is, or certainly particular groups of friends on here are which then rubs off onto the general 'feel' of things) , I do see the chatroom very similar to how you've described above. So, we can argue all day that both are as bad as each other.
Now here's the single fem talking, not the ex-bouncer, the rottweiler etc
- MY personal 'issue' is that when i see a guestlist which is 90% full of names I've never heard of (people i know nothing about) it instantly puts me off. I like to know who's going, who I might be interested in chatting to etc, and who's organising. So I always end up going to 'forum organised events' . I very much like to meet new people, but I aint walking into the lion's den - especially when I do see the chatroom mentality similar to how DeeCee described above ( and obviously, some chatroom people feel exactly the same about 'forum organised events' ). We spend considerable time berating the directors, wanking on cam, the general 'get yer tits out' atmosphere - am I wrong to think I kinda dont want to be in that atmosphere face to face? more thoughts please, i'm still forming an oppinion
and Sean
The other thing is i have noticed is that a lot of the chatroom users who put there name down for these chatroom socials is that they dont do anything else on the forums, and maybe that is the question we should be asking......how do we get those people to spend more time here and feel comfortable enough to ask for a munch invite....if they felt more comfortable here maybe the divide wouldn't so great.....
good point :thumbup:
Well, this has been playing on my mind for a good while now - and I guess it was inevitable really with the way the chatrooms have evolved and changed since the days of one single room, and the rate at which the site has grown.
but as yet another chatroom social is born, I find this quite sad:
Far from being 3 integrated areas of the site through the unified log-in , imo, what we're actually getting is a more divided site, with seperate 'communities' on the forum and in the chatrooms. There are some people who use both, and flit between the two - but by far the most divisive thing on SH is the gulf between forum users and chatroom users, to the point where chatroom people are organising their own socials according to room or area and forum people have the monopoly on Munches
feel free to tell me if i'm talking bollox, but am I the only one who sees it this way? and does anyone else feel the current trend of chatrom socials is getting out of hand? a victim of the social's own success? My concern is that (a) the divide will get bigger and (b) there'll be so many 'events' happening to which people want to attend, that eventually it will kill munches and socials anyway because attending costs money, time, babysitters etc, and folk will start spreading themselves so thinly between these 'events' that there wont be enough bodies to fill places on guestlists ?
but as yet another chatroom social is born, I find this quite sad:
we know there is a munch in wigan but when we have asked in the chatroom they all seem a little "scared", so we thought we would try and arrange something ourselves...
Far from being 3 integrated areas of the site through the unified log-in , imo, what we're actually getting is a more divided site, with seperate 'communities' on the forum and in the chatrooms. There are some people who use both, and flit between the two - but by far the most divisive thing on SH is the gulf between forum users and chatroom users, to the point where chatroom people are organising their own socials according to room or area and forum people have the monopoly on Munches
feel free to tell me if i'm talking bollox, but am I the only one who sees it this way? and does anyone else feel the current trend of chatrom socials is getting out of hand? a victim of the social's own success? My concern is that (a) the divide will get bigger and (b) there'll be so many 'events' happening to which people want to attend, that eventually it will kill munches and socials anyway because attending costs money, time, babysitters etc, and folk will start spreading themselves so thinly between these 'events' that there wont be enough bodies to fill places on guestlists ?
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
I often seen someone in the forms, at munches etc and think wow, but would never make the first move just incase I got knocked back, and would then feel really shite about it all
I've heard a few people say that NWC..... but what happens if we all think like that, and the one's you think 'wow' about, or think get all the pm's and attention actually dont get any at all because we're too 'scared' to ?
>> prepares to get knocked- back again
